livlaphluv

Hi everyone,

Well as the title says, here we go again. In almost didn't post because I feel so ashamed of my seemingly inability to quit drinking. That little 'addict monster' in me seems stronger/thirstier these days. But I refuse to give up because deep down I know there is something better out there. I hate devoting so much of myself to this vicious cycle of drinking then not drinking then oops drinking again. Add the guilt, shame, depression and anxiety that the drinking brings and you just feel plain miserable. Well I want to be done with that! So, here I am, once more.

Thanks for listening
K

Anna

Hi K,

Yes, it is a horrible vicious cycle.

But, you can take a step outside of the cycle and begin to recovery.

Pixy1

Welcome back K
I felt the same 8 days ago and sooooooooo dont want to step back into that cycle. Yes it's hard but not as hard as it was facing myself each morning after the night before. I feel better already.
Stick with us :ghug2

Horselover

Hey K- WELCOME to SR and don't feel ashamed. As you read the posts you will find many people struggling to recover. It doesn't happen overnight and each time you relapse try to gain strength and knowledge from it. Eventually you will want to be sober more than you will want to attain that fix. It will happen. Just never give up!

least

Dear LiveLaughLove, I too love your name. Keep trying. Don't give up. You can only lose if you stop trying. I've been trying since last December. Even relapsed after 32 days sober! Now on day 18 and hopeful I can stick with it. Keep trying!:ghug

kpaul32

dear liv, hold on and do not give up. learn from each fall. Are you letting yourself get too lonely, too hungry, too tired, too thirsty? Do you have too much idle time. Fill your time with sober people and sober thoughts. Ask your higher power for strength. My sister is a crack addict and has just went back out after several months of being dry. Dry and sober are not the same. Just stopping alcohol/drug without a program of change does not work. I do not know you, but maybe you quit drinking and then see the same people, go to the same places, AND THINK THE SAME THOUGHTS. **** luck and get involved with an AA group.God Bless you

benjiboy

don't be ashamed...be proud...your honest. xxx

livlaphluv

Thank you, to all who replied with your words of encouragement. I have a lot of work to do, starting with some good old positive thinking and reinforcement. I used to do affirmations every morning during a time when I was clean. Ever since a bout with post pardum depression I am so hard on myself! Really negative thinking and low self esteem. I know I need to turn that around and it helps when I hear all your kind words. So thank you, really really :0)