DSodaNow

I am very happy for you. Good luck with the job hunt!

coming_clean

lie down, sleep and forget!!! tomorrow you will feel so much better!

It won't stay like this forever, this is not life,

least

this must be "post stressful event" stress. I'm feeling like hell right now and sick of feeling anything at all. The temptation is very strong to just get obliterated and say to hell with it all, but I haven't given in yet. I feel so trapped by my off the wall emotions, and afraid of them too. I hate feeling so strongly. I am depressed, afraid, paranoid, and too many other feelings to name. I just know I feel out of control and desperate and more depressed than ever. I should be glad all the graduation stuff is done with, and it seems like no sooner is one problem over with than another one crops up.

I'm too old to bounce back from disappointment like I used to and riding this damn roller coaster is making me sicker and sicker. I just want to get off this ride. I'm trying to 'breathe' my way into relaxation but can't do it. I'm just spinning faster and faster and feel sicker and sicker.

Sorry to be so needy. I felt like I was doing so well but now feel worse than ever.:sorry

DSodaNow

My rollercoaster has been on the down turn lately too. I hope that you stay strong. It will go up again soon.

tennis71

:praying

mle-sober

Least,

You know how we were in the backseat yesterday, cheering you on? Well, today, we're in the car behind you on the roller coaster. And I hate roller coasters. But I'm there - picture us all crammed in there saying, "Least! Least! You can do it! Go Least! Go!"

I know that's about the silliest thing I could write to you. But honestly, you have just been through way too much to go backwards at this point. And God is there watching over you with his care and protection. He's not abandoning you. Just be still and over the cranky, creaky sounds of the roller coaster, and over the joyful supportive chants from us here at SR, you will hear God's constant love and protective care for you.

With concern,
MLE

Dee74

This is crunch time right here - I can't count the number of times I went back to drinking because staying sober, dealing with emotions and feelings and life, seemed so damned hard. I let my fears get the better of me and I wasted more years because of it and I nearly died.

You're battling fear, nothing else. The stressful stuff you were worried about is over - I know there's other stuff too but it was there last week when you felt good.

Life is always going to be hard from time to time. We can't change that. But we can change how we respond to it.

I'm very proud of you and what you've done so far - don't let fear rob you of that, ok?

you can do it - and anyway you're not alone
D

joelle

Least, let us struggle together...we will make it. Not so good here, either, but I do have a suggestion. I've read that you should think "HALT" before you succumb...am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired? Those are all big triggers. You mentioned being dizzy...I go through that, and I believe in my case, it is times of low blood sugar. I drink some juice, eat something, and feel better pretty quickly. You say you are too sick to eat anything...juice might help. Remember, these times will pass...it is not forever, just seems like it.

LosingmyMisery

Keep asking yourself, what can I do to help myself get physically, emotionally, mentally and physically fit? Focus and what you can do rather than the feelings of helplessness and feeling out of control. I know that ride, boy do I ever. When ever I would get bouts of uncontrollable anxiety, I exercised. It helped me to focus and allowed the anxiety to pass. There is a solution. Try to do you best and focus on making it happen. You are worth the extra efforts.

colagirl

You are not alone in this. You put into words here exactly how I've been feeling the past few days. Paranoid and scared that everything will go wrong and I won't know how to handle it. It sucks, but we'll get through it. Stay strong!

gravity

Least, Joelle, Colagirl,

If there was a way I could give you my strength right now, I would.

I am (only) 5 1/2 months sober and I have vivid memories of being where you are. Today, I am strong and although I am sure to have some tough days in the future, I am ready to face that challenge.

What I can tell you with 100% certainty. Get through those tough days any way possible.You will get stronger & more confident as time passes and as you continue to work on your recovery. There is a good life for you on the horizon. Believe this. Believe in yourself.

Daddio

Hey Least. If you were my neighbor you could walk up to my deck and hang out for a while. I live in the city so we would listen to the cars go by. I might even grab the guitar and we could learn a song together. Or maybe we could hop in the car and drive down by the the Mighty Mississippi River. It's an awesome site. One of God's beautiful creations - just like you.

Love and prayers for you have the strength and courage to face this battle head on and with the resolve of a true warrior.

least

If you read my new thread you know that I slipped over the last couple days. I feel like dirt and hate myself for my weakness. I was doing so well and now am back to day one (or two?) and forgiving myself is hard to do. I am ashamed and feel so guilty. I'm asking God to please give me the strength I don't seem to have. I have to depend on God cause I'm just a weak and beaten human being. I do'nt want to live like this anymore.

I just want to sleep thru the whole day. I don't know if that would be another sign of my weakness, but I just want to sleep til I feel better. Please pray for strength for me, and peace, since I feel like a wreck right now.

:praying:ghug

Horselover

joelle

Oh, Least, please don't beat yourself up....one of my early (big!) problems in this war with alcohol was the intense shame and guilt, not just about drinking but what pain I caused to others while being drunk. How could I face myself? Alan Carr's book was a huge help in letting that go...it is the wretched alcohol that causes the problems, you are just a human being that has been caught up in its grip. You can break free.

So many have walked the path that we are now facing...and won. Yes, I have relapsed in the past...part of the fight, as I see it. We may not win every battle, but we will win the war. You really aren't back at the beginning, look how much you have learned so far in your struggle with this beast, and what this relapse has taught you. Take the wisdom, let go of the shame, and let's move on.