headstrong13

Hello all, I know it says I've been a member here for a while, however. I didn't start really looking at this site until recent events helped me.

My husband has been in AA for ruffly a year & a half now.

Although his first sober date would have been that day. His sober date was pushed back 3 times. He did relapse 3 times. The last time being 8 weeks ago. I saw it coming from a mile away though & kindof perpare myself for it. However, the straw for me was hearing our daughter ask her Dad, why he was doing drugs. He was stoned in front of her & she knew it. That's what helped me see the light. I also need help. Granted I've been seing a social worker for a while now, but she can only help me so much. I need to do it myself. She kept telling me to go to alanon & finally I did.

I've been with my hubby almost 10 years now. I'm almost 29 years old, we've been together since I was 12 years old. So do the math we've been together a LONG time now. I have suffered watching him ping pong back and forth with his addictions. Since I was about 15 years old. He was verbally abusive & physically abusive at points. He hasn't touched me though in over 10 years. However, the scars are still there perhaps not to the naked eye, but under my skin there they are. So I'm working on all of this right now. I never knew how hard it could be to fogive him once he became sober. When he was on his many doc's that was the excuse for everything. However I don't have that for an excuse any longer. Now I have to really look inside myself & figure a lot of things out that have hurt me throughout our time together.

Anyhow that's about it. Thanks for hearing me out~LC

DSodaNow

Welcome to the site! I am glad that you have sought help for yourself. I have been on this site for about a week and it has been very helpful.

flgirl

Welcome headstrong! I'm glad, too, that you are looking for help. You've come to the right place. The folks here are amazingly supportive and wise. I wish you well.

Daddio

Hey Headstrong. You too have come to a point where decisions need to be made. You know that this is a great place for advice and support. Are you drinking/drugging as well? Or is just your husband? I didn't quite understand. I think the main thing is that you have made the decision to do something. That is a VERY good thing. I am not an AA/NA person so I can't help you with that.

Stick close and you will hear from many that can start pointing you in the right direction.

Glad you are here. And may God bless you in your new found journey.

jessecpcb

Headstrong, well I just recently joined this group, online here. I wish you all the strength you'll need to get thru this, I ask tho that you might possibly give him a little understanding, this is not him, it's the addiction. For me, I personally don't know how hard it is to deal with someone with an addiction, it was me that had one. For years I delt with a drug/alchohol addiction and although I'm clean and sober now, I don't know how bad I'd be if my family and friends didn't keep trying, with all their will and patience.

headstrong13

I take medication that's given by a physciatrist due to my overwhelming panic disorder. That's about all though. I've always hated drinking, I end up yacking thus I don't drink.. I personally don't see the point because it makes me sick. The last time I did drink was a loooong time ago, well over 5 years now. As for the medication I take, Well, I need it. Shoot I'd rather not take it.. however, I need to. Before taking it, I spent months in my home, and it got to a point I couldn't leave because whenever I went out, I had a panic attack. I couldn't even hold a conversation.

Thus no I don't drink nor take drugs. The last time I took a drug other than my medication was well before I had my daughter, so around 10 years or so now. Damn I feel old lol.

As I did say, I have been with my hubby since I was 12 years old, When I was 14 I smoked pot because he did, when I was 16 I did coke, because he did. It's hard to explain really. As I said above I haven't touched illiset (spelling?) drugs since early 1998. However, my husband has struggled with it until Jan 07'. However he had 3 small relapses after that.

I hope that does clear what I tried to say in my previous post up for all

Thanks all for the kind welcome
~LC

headstrong13

I have come to understand that it's the addiction & not him. I learned that the second relapse when he ended up locked up (again!), and his sponser told me something I haven't forgotten since then.. That it's the drugs speaking and not my husband. So I do understand that it's not him, it's the disease. I've been with him this long, through a lot harder times, why in the world would I not stick by his side now? lol? I've been learning to deal with his addiction since I was a child, He ended up getting arrested & spending 2 years in jail for doing something stupid while high.. and I stuck by his side, the thoughts some may have while in those spots, aren't mine. I'm right on the line with him during his relapses, I talk him down and I make sure to contact his support network & tell them what's going on. Trust me when I say I have more patience for him & the disease than many wives do.

I'm not sure what in my first post gave the impression that I'm not any of these things, or whatever. However, I think you took my first post out of content or didn't read the entire thing? If I've been with him for more than a decade, why would I call it quites now? If I stayed with him through the drug abuse, the emotinal abuse, the physical abuse, him calling drug dealers after I give birth to our daughter, him getting arrested the first time for something stupid because of drugs & not being in our lives for 3 months.. and then fresh out of jail a week later going back and doing these same drugs & getting arrested again for breaking into a store.. and going away for 2 years, while I was at home being a single parent that entire time to our 3 year old (when he went away, 6 1/2 when he came home).. Then coming home & getting arrested two more times, the first time he did, he finally checked into rehab & then once more after he got sober because he had surgery & went all loopy on the pain killers they gave him. Needless to say, I think he knows I'm not going anywhere if I haven't already? Wouldn't you say.

Thanks for the thoughts & prayers~

LC

sailorjohn

WELCOME

adore79

Welcome back to SR! Good to have you here.