The Middle Of Day 354
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Location: Flint MI
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The Middle Of Day 354
THE UPS AND DOWNS, LORD KNOWS THERE HAVE BEEN MANY!!!!!!! TODAY STARTED OFF HARDER THAN MOST, IT WAS D DAY, HIS ( THAT BEING E'S) BAGS WERE PACKED, I THOUGHT OUR INTAKE COUPLES SESSION WAS AT 930 TO 1030.....IT WASNT UNTIL 2 TO 3, ONLY THOUGHT IN MY HEAD WAS LORD PLEASE LET HIM STAY LONG ENOUGH FOR US TO GET THAT 3RD PARTY IN HERE TO SAVE OUR RELATIONSHIP.....LAST NIGHT I CRIED MY LAST TEAR( OR SO I THOUGHT), TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM SO MUCH AND THAT IF BY MAKING HIM HAPPY WAS LETTING HIM GO THEN HE NEEDED TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT FOR HIM (OHMYGOD EVEN NOW MY CHEST IS HURTTING I HAVE NEVER BEFORE SAID THOSE WORDS AND I PRAY I WILL NEVER HAVE TO SAY THEM AGAIN BUT I WILL AGAIN, BUT ONLY TO HIM BECAUSE HIS HAPPINESS MEANS THAT MUCH TO ME!)
i SAT THERE WATCHING HIM SLEEP AND THINKING HOW WAS I EVER BORN SO LUCKY AS TO HAVE A MAN LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE ONE WHO WILL ACCEPT ME, AS HE SAYS ( SO DOES THE BIBLE) FOR THE GOOD, BAD AND INDIFFERENCE....WHO SEEMS SO FLAWLESS YET I KNOW IS NOT.....TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH HIM HOW TO LEAN INSTEAD OF TAKING THE WEIGHT OF T HE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS WHILE LEARNING HOW NOT TO LEAN ON HIM SO MUCH.....
IN MY LAST YEAR I HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF BUT NONE AS PREVAILIENT AS THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED IN THESES LAST FEW SHORT WEEKS......
HUMBLNESS......WHEN I FINALLY WENT TO HIM AND SAID NO MORE I AM DONE LYING TO YOU AS WELL AS TO ME.....I LEARNED THE TRUE VALUE OF HUMBLE.......
LYING TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE TO SAVE THEM FROM PAIN IS ONLY USED TO PROTECT YOU....NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT UNTIL YESTERDAY.....BY THINKING I WAS KEEPING BAD ACTIONS FROM HIM I ALMOST LOST HIM WHEN CONFROUNTED I TRIED TO COVER THINGS UP AND HIDE THEM FROM HIM, ALLONG NEVER KNOWING HE HAD ALREADY KNOWN AND HE JUST WANTED THE TRUTH FROM ME.........SO I WAS ACTUALLY BEING THE SELF SERVING WENCH THAT HE ACCUSED ME OF THAT I TOOK SO DARN PERSONAL!
PATIENCE....THIS IS EASILY THE HARDEST LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED.....MEN NEED DISTANCE JUST LIKE WOMEN MORE THAN THAT!!!THAT EVERYTHING NEED NOT BE DONE ON PRINCESS PAMMS TIME......... TALK ABOUT A BLOW TO THE SELF ESTEEM....GOOD THINGS REALLY DO COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.....and sometimes that means for more than one minute or even one day.......
THE VERY LITTLE THINGS COUNT SOMETIMES MORE THAN THE HUGE THINGS, WAKING UP WITH A SMILE RATHER THAN BITCHING OR WAKING UP ON THE RUN MAKES THINGS SO MUCH MORE BETTER ESPECIALLY WHEN WANTING TO MAKE YOUR SO/H/W/BF/GF HAPPY......
BY PUTTING THE HAPPINESS OF E AHEAD OF MY OWN I TRUELY DO REALIZE IT IS MY WAY OF SHOWING HIM I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE HAS REASON TO KEEP ON TREATING ME LIKE HIS QUEEN, MORE THAN THAT IT ENSURES MY OWN HAPPINESS.....
I HAVE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH MANY LIFE LESSONS ALONG THE WAY BUT IN MY ALMOST ONE YEAR OF RECOVERY THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES WERE MADE TODAY..... THE OTHER THING I HAVE LEARNED IS IT IS OK TO BE HAPPY AND NOT TO ALWAYS WAIT FOR THE SHOE TO DROP OR THE SILVER LINING TO BE LET OUT FROM UNDER ME......
ISNT IT GREAT TO BE ABLE TO FEEL??? I SOMETIMES MISS THE MIND NUMBING SENSATIONS OF NOT HAVING TO DEAL WITH REALITY BUT ISNT IT EASIER TO DO WRONG THAN RIGHT ANYWAYS?????
MANY OF YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND MY RAMBLINGS BUT MY SR FAMILY WILL AND THEY ARE THE ONES OUTSIDE OF MY E I HAVE TO GIVE THANKS FOR TODAY, BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU I WOULD OF NEVER MADE DAY 354!!!!
LOVE, SUPPORT AND HUGS!!!
PAMM
:ghug3
i SAT THERE WATCHING HIM SLEEP AND THINKING HOW WAS I EVER BORN SO LUCKY AS TO HAVE A MAN LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE ONE WHO WILL ACCEPT ME, AS HE SAYS ( SO DOES THE BIBLE) FOR THE GOOD, BAD AND INDIFFERENCE....WHO SEEMS SO FLAWLESS YET I KNOW IS NOT.....TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO TEACH HIM HOW TO LEAN INSTEAD OF TAKING THE WEIGHT OF T HE WORLD ON HIS SHOULDERS WHILE LEARNING HOW NOT TO LEAN ON HIM SO MUCH.....
IN MY LAST YEAR I HAVE LEARNED MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF BUT NONE AS PREVAILIENT AS THE LESSONS I HAVE LEARNED IN THESES LAST FEW SHORT WEEKS......
HUMBLNESS......WHEN I FINALLY WENT TO HIM AND SAID NO MORE I AM DONE LYING TO YOU AS WELL AS TO ME.....I LEARNED THE TRUE VALUE OF HUMBLE.......
LYING TO THE PERSON YOU LOVE TO SAVE THEM FROM PAIN IS ONLY USED TO PROTECT YOU....NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT UNTIL YESTERDAY.....BY THINKING I WAS KEEPING BAD ACTIONS FROM HIM I ALMOST LOST HIM WHEN CONFROUNTED I TRIED TO COVER THINGS UP AND HIDE THEM FROM HIM, ALLONG NEVER KNOWING HE HAD ALREADY KNOWN AND HE JUST WANTED THE TRUTH FROM ME.........SO I WAS ACTUALLY BEING THE SELF SERVING WENCH THAT HE ACCUSED ME OF THAT I TOOK SO DARN PERSONAL!
PATIENCE....THIS IS EASILY THE HARDEST LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED.....MEN NEED DISTANCE JUST LIKE WOMEN MORE THAN THAT!!!THAT EVERYTHING NEED NOT BE DONE ON PRINCESS PAMMS TIME......... TALK ABOUT A BLOW TO THE SELF ESTEEM....GOOD THINGS REALLY DO COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT.....and sometimes that means for more than one minute or even one day.......
THE VERY LITTLE THINGS COUNT SOMETIMES MORE THAN THE HUGE THINGS, WAKING UP WITH A SMILE RATHER THAN BITCHING OR WAKING UP ON THE RUN MAKES THINGS SO MUCH MORE BETTER ESPECIALLY WHEN WANTING TO MAKE YOUR SO/H/W/BF/GF HAPPY......
BY PUTTING THE HAPPINESS OF E AHEAD OF MY OWN I TRUELY DO REALIZE IT IS MY WAY OF SHOWING HIM I AM IN LOVE WITH HIM AND HE HAS REASON TO KEEP ON TREATING ME LIKE HIS QUEEN, MORE THAN THAT IT ENSURES MY OWN HAPPINESS.....
I HAVE BEEN ENTRUSTED WITH MANY LIFE LESSONS ALONG THE WAY BUT IN MY ALMOST ONE YEAR OF RECOVERY THE MOST IMPORTANT DISCOVERIES WERE MADE TODAY..... THE OTHER THING I HAVE LEARNED IS IT IS OK TO BE HAPPY AND NOT TO ALWAYS WAIT FOR THE SHOE TO DROP OR THE SILVER LINING TO BE LET OUT FROM UNDER ME......
ISNT IT GREAT TO BE ABLE TO FEEL??? I SOMETIMES MISS THE MIND NUMBING SENSATIONS OF NOT HAVING TO DEAL WITH REALITY BUT ISNT IT EASIER TO DO WRONG THAN RIGHT ANYWAYS?????
MANY OF YOU MAY NOT UNDERSTAND MY RAMBLINGS BUT MY SR FAMILY WILL AND THEY ARE THE ONES OUTSIDE OF MY E I HAVE TO GIVE THANKS FOR TODAY, BECAUSE WITHOUT YOU I WOULD OF NEVER MADE DAY 354!!!!
LOVE, SUPPORT AND HUGS!!!
PAMM
:ghug3
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Pamm)))
Just keep staying strong, trust God and don't pick up! I'm dealing with different circumstances (car looks like it may be totalled), but telling myself the same things.
BTW...thanks for being there for me yesterday, as I was sitting on the side of the road after my wreck
Luv ya!
Amy
Just keep staying strong, trust God and don't pick up! I'm dealing with different circumstances (car looks like it may be totalled), but telling myself the same things.
BTW...thanks for being there for me yesterday, as I was sitting on the side of the road after my wreck
Luv ya!
Amy
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Any Time Girl And Ya Know It!!!!! Ok When My Phone Is Fully Charged Is The Best Times Though......lol(btw Me And My Sissy Never Talk For 15 Mins.......lol).......sis Keep Your Head Up U Know Just Like We Said A Few Minutes Ago We Have Both Been In Really Bad Places And Thank God Were Not There No More.........
Now We Gotta Get Ya A Man................rollllllllllllllllllin Noooooooooooo Wait I Take It Back ( My Head Still Hurts From Crying)........wouldnt Change Him For Anything.......
As For The Car, Let Me Tell You I Remeber When I Had To Walk 10 Miles Just For A Blunt!!!!! In The Snow, With No Coat On, Snotcycles Adheared To My Face From The Cold.................ewwwww That Was Too Much For Even Me.....sorry Sissy But You Know What I Am Saying......even Tuesday I May Be Taking The Bus By My Self For The First Time I Have A Really Big Job Interview.........remember The Attorney Who Offered Me The Job Back Around Christmas Time? He Called Out Of No Where.......tuesday At 10 Am And Knees Are Shaking............i Am Off This I Am Missing My Man And The Game ( Trying To Learn Basketball---seeming Really Blonde With Some Of The Questions......like Dude Did U Know There Was A Field Goal In Basketball Too??? Learning Too Much...........lol)
Suprised My Love? ( We Have A Voyeer Among Us, Yes The Love Of My Life Is Checking Out My Posts, Not Worried About It Though, No More Secrets....that Feels So Damn Good!
Night Everyone!
Stay Safe And As Always
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
Now We Gotta Get Ya A Man................rollllllllllllllllllin Noooooooooooo Wait I Take It Back ( My Head Still Hurts From Crying)........wouldnt Change Him For Anything.......
As For The Car, Let Me Tell You I Remeber When I Had To Walk 10 Miles Just For A Blunt!!!!! In The Snow, With No Coat On, Snotcycles Adheared To My Face From The Cold.................ewwwww That Was Too Much For Even Me.....sorry Sissy But You Know What I Am Saying......even Tuesday I May Be Taking The Bus By My Self For The First Time I Have A Really Big Job Interview.........remember The Attorney Who Offered Me The Job Back Around Christmas Time? He Called Out Of No Where.......tuesday At 10 Am And Knees Are Shaking............i Am Off This I Am Missing My Man And The Game ( Trying To Learn Basketball---seeming Really Blonde With Some Of The Questions......like Dude Did U Know There Was A Field Goal In Basketball Too??? Learning Too Much...........lol)
Suprised My Love? ( We Have A Voyeer Among Us, Yes The Love Of My Life Is Checking Out My Posts, Not Worried About It Though, No More Secrets....that Feels So Damn Good!
Night Everyone!
Stay Safe And As Always
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Really proud of you Pamm. You've been through a lot of crap and your still here. That's a miracle.
It is great to feel, all though most days i still don't always like it being in early recovery. But it's definitely better then being numb all the time. I'm alive.
Barb
It is great to feel, all though most days i still don't always like it being in early recovery. But it's definitely better then being numb all the time. I'm alive.
Barb
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Location: Flint MI
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DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THEIR FIRST POST.......HERE IS MINE...........
Hell on Wheels
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 2,940
Things could be worse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dee..... I probally am not going to say this right, if I don't, call it tough love from hopefully a new friend. I need to tell you about someone I know.
She is in her late 30's with no children, totally secluded doesn't go out because she hates socitey as a whole. She has Diabeties which are uncontroled, and was a pot head/ cokehead which she took with vicodin and methadone for the constant pain that she is in. She has Fibermyalgia, norapathy, and has had 6 of her lower spine bones fractures, she was stabbed 9 times in both of her lungs as well as two broken hips and a broken pelvic bone from her ex who was a crack head who was "trying" to help her. She goes to collage full time and it is on line because she is terrified of the world and people around her, she found out all love isn't good love. She sits in a chair most days and sometimes she has to use her cane or a wheel chair to get around.
She used to run track and was a cheerleader, she has been threw the ups and downs in this life yet she still struggles everyday. She recently had to move out of the home she has lived in for the last 2 years. She bought a home because the rent was too much and the teens in the area keep robbing her blind, also she started living her life with out the drugs.
She used to drink. Then she decided to quit that and move on with her life, ended up with cancer of the throat and was perscribed pot for medical reasons then methadone and now up to over 29 pills a day and 13 different shots just to control her body.
She has to move herself, she doesn't have any money, the teens she paid to help her move robbed her of all of her meds and everything else that wasn't nailed down, she wanted a drink again so badly. She went out to get some and actually bought it. Then she remembered she quit cold turkey because she wanted a better life without abuse, and since she didn't have her meds she went cold turkey there as well ( by that I mean the pot, methadon, vicodins and loratabs) and that she needed help.
She went to her computer and low and behold came across this site and your feed. Thank you Dee. Thank you for reminding me it is OK to have bad days. It is just how we handle them and How we chose to live our lives. I will be ever grateful for reading this post that you placed up. In case you hadn't realized that woman is me, and I got up this morning and I packed two more boxes over at the old house, my back is killing me and I could cry because of the pain(I took my extra strength excedrin) but I got them here to my new home, haven't unpacked them as of yet, but they are here.
I once staied down in Aussie land for a time, so I know that things are worse down there than in the United States as far as real estate I wish I could send my old home to you....I would in a heart beat( Do mobile homes float?)but alas I cannot. But you will be in my thoughts and prayers and everytime I pack up a box or deal with this moving crap I will think of you and know that it was your statements which have pulled me threw this VERY rough time. Be Blessed in all that you do and may YOUR Higher Power find you through this very rough time and transition of your life.
PS Thank You for allowing me to hope again and gain my faith back! AND THANK GOD FOR ANOTHER DAY OF MY SOBRITY!!!!! It has been 3years and 6 months and 12 days!
DEE I LOVE YOU THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS POST WILL ALWAYS REMIND ME I CAN HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS!
LOVE AND HUGS,
PAMM
Hell on Wheels
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 2,940
Things could be worse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dee..... I probally am not going to say this right, if I don't, call it tough love from hopefully a new friend. I need to tell you about someone I know.
She is in her late 30's with no children, totally secluded doesn't go out because she hates socitey as a whole. She has Diabeties which are uncontroled, and was a pot head/ cokehead which she took with vicodin and methadone for the constant pain that she is in. She has Fibermyalgia, norapathy, and has had 6 of her lower spine bones fractures, she was stabbed 9 times in both of her lungs as well as two broken hips and a broken pelvic bone from her ex who was a crack head who was "trying" to help her. She goes to collage full time and it is on line because she is terrified of the world and people around her, she found out all love isn't good love. She sits in a chair most days and sometimes she has to use her cane or a wheel chair to get around.
She used to run track and was a cheerleader, she has been threw the ups and downs in this life yet she still struggles everyday. She recently had to move out of the home she has lived in for the last 2 years. She bought a home because the rent was too much and the teens in the area keep robbing her blind, also she started living her life with out the drugs.
She used to drink. Then she decided to quit that and move on with her life, ended up with cancer of the throat and was perscribed pot for medical reasons then methadone and now up to over 29 pills a day and 13 different shots just to control her body.
She has to move herself, she doesn't have any money, the teens she paid to help her move robbed her of all of her meds and everything else that wasn't nailed down, she wanted a drink again so badly. She went out to get some and actually bought it. Then she remembered she quit cold turkey because she wanted a better life without abuse, and since she didn't have her meds she went cold turkey there as well ( by that I mean the pot, methadon, vicodins and loratabs) and that she needed help.
She went to her computer and low and behold came across this site and your feed. Thank you Dee. Thank you for reminding me it is OK to have bad days. It is just how we handle them and How we chose to live our lives. I will be ever grateful for reading this post that you placed up. In case you hadn't realized that woman is me, and I got up this morning and I packed two more boxes over at the old house, my back is killing me and I could cry because of the pain(I took my extra strength excedrin) but I got them here to my new home, haven't unpacked them as of yet, but they are here.
I once staied down in Aussie land for a time, so I know that things are worse down there than in the United States as far as real estate I wish I could send my old home to you....I would in a heart beat( Do mobile homes float?)but alas I cannot. But you will be in my thoughts and prayers and everytime I pack up a box or deal with this moving crap I will think of you and know that it was your statements which have pulled me threw this VERY rough time. Be Blessed in all that you do and may YOUR Higher Power find you through this very rough time and transition of your life.
PS Thank You for allowing me to hope again and gain my faith back! AND THANK GOD FOR ANOTHER DAY OF MY SOBRITY!!!!! It has been 3years and 6 months and 12 days!
DEE I LOVE YOU THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS POST WILL ALWAYS REMIND ME I CAN HAVE GOOD AND BAD DAYS!
LOVE AND HUGS,
PAMM
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((((Pamm))))
This is said with love...stop trying to figure out what is going on with E. I KNOW he's important to you, but you know, darn well, we will never understand men and they won't understand us! The best we can do is take care of US and find some common ground.
Ya'll are together all the time...I, personally, need my space, even if it's just in the other room.
YOU have a one-year birthday coming up....way to go!!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
This is said with love...stop trying to figure out what is going on with E. I KNOW he's important to you, but you know, darn well, we will never understand men and they won't understand us! The best we can do is take care of US and find some common ground.
Ya'll are together all the time...I, personally, need my space, even if it's just in the other room.
YOU have a one-year birthday coming up....way to go!!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Originally Posted by Impurrfect 
((((Pamm))))
This is said with love...stop trying to figure out what is going on with E. I KNOW he's important to you, but you know, darn well, we will never understand men and they won't understand us! The best we can do is take care of US and find some common ground.
Ya'll are together all the time...I, personally, need my space, even if it's just in the other room.
YOU have a one-year birthday coming up....way to go!!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
This is said with love...stop trying to figure out what is going on with E. I KNOW he's important to you, but you know, darn well, we will never understand men and they won't understand us! The best we can do is take care of US and find some common ground.
Ya'll are together all the time...I, personally, need my space, even if it's just in the other room.
YOU have a one-year birthday coming up....way to go!!!!!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
You have come along way. I remember when you first joined SR, you have changed a lot. An early congrats on your 1st year.
Barb
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
TYTYTYTYTYTYTY
and sissy you almost had it right it was my new boss ( I got the job with the realestate attorney working out of the house 4 days a week hes one of the good ole boys....ya know the ones who are ALWAYS RIGHT?)
YES, i will admit it i have come a long way......
do i still want to use....hell yes and wont even lie......but will i hell no.........I love my life way too much..........
I start work on Monday, water is suppose to be turned off buy thenand the electric by tuesday............i aint sweating it i sware i am not i just turned it all over.....my darling e just came to me and asked me to go get bread he wants to make me breakfast.......steak and eggs ( mind you we are vegan wtf?!?!?)
bbl all gotta go spend some time with my hubby.............
hugs and love,
Pamm
and sissy you almost had it right it was my new boss ( I got the job with the realestate attorney working out of the house 4 days a week hes one of the good ole boys....ya know the ones who are ALWAYS RIGHT?)
YES, i will admit it i have come a long way......
do i still want to use....hell yes and wont even lie......but will i hell no.........I love my life way too much..........
I start work on Monday, water is suppose to be turned off buy thenand the electric by tuesday............i aint sweating it i sware i am not i just turned it all over.....my darling e just came to me and asked me to go get bread he wants to make me breakfast.......steak and eggs ( mind you we are vegan wtf?!?!?)
bbl all gotta go spend some time with my hubby.............
hugs and love,
Pamm
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
You sound great! Just 3 more days and you have a year
Glad it wasn't E who was confusing you, but you DO usually tell me you're trying to "figure him out" when I talk to ya Heck, I've got enough on my hands to figure out ME...wouldn't even TRY to figure out a man!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Glad it wasn't E who was confusing you, but you DO usually tell me you're trying to "figure him out" when I talk to ya
Heck, I've got enough on my hands to figure out ME...wouldn't even TRY to figure out a man!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
YOU AINT NEVER LIED, E WORKED IN NYC ACTUALLY THE BUSINESS DISTRICT DURING 911.....I SPENT MOST OF MY EARLY MORNING WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT IT(911) I WAS ALWAYS LIKE IT WAS HARD ON ME BECAUSE I LOST FRIENDS( i WAS WORKING EMS/FIRE RESCUE DISPATCH IN ROCHESTER NEW YORK) I REALLY GOT TO SEE WHAT HE WENT THREW I USED TO THINK I HAD STRENGTH.......I DONT KNOW HOW HE DOES IT.....I SAW THE BUILDING HE WAS IN AND EVERYTHING ALL I COULD DO WAS COME UP HERE AND CRAWL INTO BED AND TELL HIM I LOVE HI........I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL BUT I DO KNOW THAT AS EVERYDAY THAT PASSES WE ARE GETTING STRONGER.....WE REALLY DO HAVE OUR UPS AND DOWNS.....BUT IT IS MORE OFTEN UP THAN DOWN, MOSTLY MY MOOD SWINGS OR SCREWED UP THINKING AS OF LATE......i REALLY WISH THEY WOULD GET ME A SHRINK ALREADY.......I REALLY NEED ONE......I AM APPLYING FOR AN ADMIN JOB WITH THE CHURCH UP HERE, IT IS THIS GROUP OF FAITHS( MEANING IT IS ALL DENOMINATIONALS AND THEY WANT AN ADMIN SEC......I WOULD LOVE IT....WOULD PUT MY THEOLOGY DEGREE TO WORK FINALLY AND THERE ARE SO MANY COOL PPL TO WORK WITH AGAIN..........)
i AM REALLY BOARD AGAIN BUT THE PAIN IS GETTING TO ME....THEY WONT PUT ME BACK INTO PT.....IT SCARES ME BECAUSE i TRUELY DO NEED IT BADLY.....MY LEGS ARE BRUISING NOW JUST FROM WALKING.......I HAVENT ASKED THE DR FOR MORE PAIN PILLS YET (LOL I ONLY TOOK 11 VICS WITH THE DOG BITING MY FINGER OFF.....DID REALLY GOOD AND NO METHADONE AT ALL.......GUESS I AM GOING TO HAVE TO BREAK DOWN AND ASK FOR MOTRIN OR SOMETHING THE EXCEDRIN ISNT WORKING.......)
YES AND THANKS SIS I KNOW ONE MORE DAY....JUNE 11TH MEANS SO MUCH TO ME NOW......IT IS THE DAY I WALKED AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND STARTED LIVING FOR ME AND OUR BABY......HARD TO BELIEVE HE WOULD BE ALMOST 6 WEEKS OLD THIS WEEK......THE DAY WHEN I FOUND SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR RATHER THAN FIGHTING FOR.....I HAD A TRUE REASON FOR LIVING RATHER THAN EXSISTING......I WILL NEVER FORGET JUNE 11TH.........I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I AM WHERE I AM NOW AND NOT WHERE I WAS THEN!!!!!
MS. JOYCE HAS IT RIGHT SIS!!!!!
LOVE AND HUGS,
PAMM
i AM REALLY BOARD AGAIN BUT THE PAIN IS GETTING TO ME....THEY WONT PUT ME BACK INTO PT.....IT SCARES ME BECAUSE i TRUELY DO NEED IT BADLY.....MY LEGS ARE BRUISING NOW JUST FROM WALKING.......I HAVENT ASKED THE DR FOR MORE PAIN PILLS YET (LOL I ONLY TOOK 11 VICS WITH THE DOG BITING MY FINGER OFF.....DID REALLY GOOD AND NO METHADONE AT ALL.......GUESS I AM GOING TO HAVE TO BREAK DOWN AND ASK FOR MOTRIN OR SOMETHING THE EXCEDRIN ISNT WORKING.......)
YES AND THANKS SIS I KNOW ONE MORE DAY....JUNE 11TH MEANS SO MUCH TO ME NOW......IT IS THE DAY I WALKED AWAY FROM EVERYTHING AND STARTED LIVING FOR ME AND OUR BABY......HARD TO BELIEVE HE WOULD BE ALMOST 6 WEEKS OLD THIS WEEK......THE DAY WHEN I FOUND SOMETHING WORTH LIVING FOR RATHER THAN FIGHTING FOR.....I HAD A TRUE REASON FOR LIVING RATHER THAN EXSISTING......I WILL NEVER FORGET JUNE 11TH.........I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I AM WHERE I AM NOW AND NOT WHERE I WAS THEN!!!!!
MS. JOYCE HAS IT RIGHT SIS!!!!!
LOVE AND HUGS,
PAMM
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Tomorrow's your birthday
I'm really proud of you. Yesterday was my 15-month-clean birthday and I got my "new" car, AND my tax rebate Now, Elvis is laying on me, purring and I will be going to sleep soon. Life is good!
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I'm really proud of you. Yesterday was my 15-month-clean birthday and I got my "new" car, AND my tax rebate
Now, Elvis is laying on me, purring and I will be going to sleep soon. Life is good!Hugs and prayers!
Amy
6
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Thread Starter
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Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Ty Sisssssssssssssy
Thanks Kevin
I Just Am In Awe......it Dawned On Me Last Night As 1208 Am.....it Took Everything In My Body Not To Scream........i Am Not Going To Lie And Say I Dont Want It....lord Knows I Miss Using Coke Just For The Freedom I Felt It Gave Me.....especially With My E I Know Things Would Be Different But I Cant Do It To Me.....i Guess That Is What Really Makes It Worth It Because I Know I Just Dont Want It Any More.........i Want A Life Free Of All The Drugs.......i Got Off My Pills The Booze ( Btw It Has Been More Than 3 Years With The Booze) But The Coke Was Hard I Struggled Everyday With That........now I Have To Shake Off The Weed Thing....cant Say Why Really But I Will Kick That Next I Am Stepping Away From The Drs Advice And Everything......the Scarey Part Is My Po Knows About It And Approves........i Just Know I Cant Afford It And I Know I Wont Pay The Ultimate Price With My Marriage It Just Isnt Worth It I Would Rather Stay In Pain 24-7.............
I Am Confused And I Am Happy....................and So Over The Top About Not Wanting To Use Today!
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
Thanks Kevin
I Just Am In Awe......it Dawned On Me Last Night As 1208 Am.....it Took Everything In My Body Not To Scream........i Am Not Going To Lie And Say I Dont Want It....lord Knows I Miss Using Coke Just For The Freedom I Felt It Gave Me.....especially With My E I Know Things Would Be Different But I Cant Do It To Me.....i Guess That Is What Really Makes It Worth It Because I Know I Just Dont Want It Any More.........i Want A Life Free Of All The Drugs.......i Got Off My Pills The Booze ( Btw It Has Been More Than 3 Years With The Booze) But The Coke Was Hard I Struggled Everyday With That........now I Have To Shake Off The Weed Thing....cant Say Why Really But I Will Kick That Next I Am Stepping Away From The Drs Advice And Everything......the Scarey Part Is My Po Knows About It And Approves........i Just Know I Cant Afford It And I Know I Wont Pay The Ultimate Price With My Marriage It Just Isnt Worth It I Would Rather Stay In Pain 24-7.............
I Am Confused And I Am Happy....................and So Over The Top About Not Wanting To Use Today!
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
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