hello!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Bastrop, TX
Posts: 2
hello!
I'm new here, this is my first post. My name is Jon - I guess I've been an alcoholic or drug abuser most of my adult life, though I've been sober since April 17 of this year. I'm 43 years old.
I started in high school with weed, a bit of coke and speed, what have you, but wasn't so much into drinking back then. Once I was drinking age I started to pick up steam there, and when they started in with the drug testing thing everywhere I let that other stuff go. I spent one night in jail for public intoxication in my early 20's but otherwise stayed out of serious trouble. That's not to say that my behavior hasn't held me back in a thousand other ways, because it has.
I spent quite a bit of the last 10 years sober, actually. Well, about half of it. anyway. The past three years, though, I've been doing my sit around the house by myself and get loaded every day thing. Overall, I can feel the adverse effects on my health now, not to mention my financial situation, and I decided that it's time to snap out of it, get sober again, and stay that way this time. I want to live reasonably well, be safe, and be content if I can.
I've always been the type of person who just gets by, I don't feel particularly happy whether I'm drinking or not. I'm not very social or ambitious, mostly I just rattle around the house, read, watch movies, play video games, and hang out with my dog and cats. Again, that goes whether I'm drinking or not. I'm pretty introverted, for sure. I get out now and then for a yoga class, a bowling league, whatnot, but not often at all. I don't have any friends at all that I talk to regularly or hang out with, but I do have family and folks that care about me.
Anyway, the last time I took a stab at sobriety, I made it five years or so, beginning in 1999. I tried a couple AA meetings but there were things I didn't care for about those so I didn't stick with them.
It seems like everyone drinks. I don't know where the sober people are - they're certainly not people that I work with, or people my own age that I know. Last time I quit I didn't feel very well supported, to be honest. Well, I'm rambling, that's a story for another time, I guess.
I'm very happy to have found this forum - thank you for reading this and sharing your own experiences!
I started in high school with weed, a bit of coke and speed, what have you, but wasn't so much into drinking back then. Once I was drinking age I started to pick up steam there, and when they started in with the drug testing thing everywhere I let that other stuff go. I spent one night in jail for public intoxication in my early 20's but otherwise stayed out of serious trouble. That's not to say that my behavior hasn't held me back in a thousand other ways, because it has.
I spent quite a bit of the last 10 years sober, actually. Well, about half of it. anyway. The past three years, though, I've been doing my sit around the house by myself and get loaded every day thing. Overall, I can feel the adverse effects on my health now, not to mention my financial situation, and I decided that it's time to snap out of it, get sober again, and stay that way this time. I want to live reasonably well, be safe, and be content if I can.
I've always been the type of person who just gets by, I don't feel particularly happy whether I'm drinking or not. I'm not very social or ambitious, mostly I just rattle around the house, read, watch movies, play video games, and hang out with my dog and cats. Again, that goes whether I'm drinking or not. I'm pretty introverted, for sure. I get out now and then for a yoga class, a bowling league, whatnot, but not often at all. I don't have any friends at all that I talk to regularly or hang out with, but I do have family and folks that care about me.
Anyway, the last time I took a stab at sobriety, I made it five years or so, beginning in 1999. I tried a couple AA meetings but there were things I didn't care for about those so I didn't stick with them.
It seems like everyone drinks. I don't know where the sober people are - they're certainly not people that I work with, or people my own age that I know. Last time I quit I didn't feel very well supported, to be honest. Well, I'm rambling, that's a story for another time, I guess.
I'm very happy to have found this forum - thank you for reading this and sharing your own experiences!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,035
Hello Jon, welcome to SR, I hope you find support here as so many of us do every day!
I'm a 44 year old single father with joint custody of two kids. I guess if I'd decided not to stay sober I'd be spending my time away from my kids isolating at home and drinking, but thankfully I've been on the path to recovery for a few years.
I'm sure there are sober people everywhere, it's just been my experience and choice to find them in the rooms of AA every day. They're people of all ages, races, and creeds, and to me they're a family I'm blessed to have. I can't say I felt very welcomed or supported at first, but I realized that when I reached out for help and support, it was freely available and still is.
There's much to be learned here and I hope you'll share your experience too. Glad you're here, please stick around!
I'm a 44 year old single father with joint custody of two kids. I guess if I'd decided not to stay sober I'd be spending my time away from my kids isolating at home and drinking, but thankfully I've been on the path to recovery for a few years.
I'm sure there are sober people everywhere, it's just been my experience and choice to find them in the rooms of AA every day. They're people of all ages, races, and creeds, and to me they're a family I'm blessed to have. I can't say I felt very welcomed or supported at first, but I realized that when I reached out for help and support, it was freely available and still is.
There's much to be learned here and I hope you'll share your experience too. Glad you're here, please stick around!
jonArmchair Revolutionary
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Lawnguyland
Posts: 116
Welcome Jon! This website is a really nice place but it's not going to be best able to serve you as your entire support network (you mentioned not having gotten much support).
As far as AA goes, I know lots of people who had issues with it but saw it through and it grew on them. Talk about a support network and friends! Maybe some of what's laid down in the big book, or how some people act, puts you off but I think the most important thing is fellowship. Being left to stew over your own thoughts is a really bad thing sometimes, and what better way to gain some perspective than to build bonds with people who have the same experiences as you?
Other than that, there aren't too many other activities that tend to attract strictly sober people. Well, you could become Amish or join a knitting circle
jkjk
Most normal activities attract mostly normal people, maybe they occasionally have a beer but unlike yourself and everyone else here, they can control themselves ^_^ If your not into AA, you can always just gravitate to functional people without drinking problems. The social aspect of sobriety is critical as far as I'm concerned.
I remember how well my dad was doing when he was going to meetings, and how he went downhill after he stopped. Never drank, just isolated himself and became more and more miserable. Sure enough now that he's recently returned, things around the house have improved significantly. And it's not all about AA, anything to help your state of mind, ya know?
Isn't quitting supposed to help end your misery? Well white-knuckling it alone doesn't seem to do much for all the other stuff contributing to a persons suffering. My dad once said "it was exactly like drinking, but I saved money on vodka".
I hope I don't sound preachy, just hoping you pursue some real change through people qualified to help you.
You're in the right place Jon, and good luck no matter what you do
As far as AA goes, I know lots of people who had issues with it but saw it through and it grew on them. Talk about a support network and friends! Maybe some of what's laid down in the big book, or how some people act, puts you off but I think the most important thing is fellowship. Being left to stew over your own thoughts is a really bad thing sometimes, and what better way to gain some perspective than to build bonds with people who have the same experiences as you?
Other than that, there aren't too many other activities that tend to attract strictly sober people. Well, you could become Amish or join a knitting circle
jkjkMost normal activities attract mostly normal people, maybe they occasionally have a beer but unlike yourself and everyone else here, they can control themselves ^_^ If your not into AA, you can always just gravitate to functional people without drinking problems. The social aspect of sobriety is critical as far as I'm concerned.
I remember how well my dad was doing when he was going to meetings, and how he went downhill after he stopped. Never drank, just isolated himself and became more and more miserable. Sure enough now that he's recently returned, things around the house have improved significantly. And it's not all about AA, anything to help your state of mind, ya know?
Isn't quitting supposed to help end your misery? Well white-knuckling it alone doesn't seem to do much for all the other stuff contributing to a persons suffering. My dad once said "it was exactly like drinking, but I saved money on vodka".
I hope I don't sound preachy, just hoping you pursue some real change through people qualified to help you.
You're in the right place Jon, and good luck no matter what you do
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi Jon,
Welcome and congratulations on being sober since April 17th. That's great!
Reading your post, I wondered if you have ever considered that you might be depressed? If so, it might be that your depression will lift, now that you are sober. Otherwise, you might want to think about talking to your dr.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
Welcome and congratulations on being sober since April 17th. That's great!
Reading your post, I wondered if you have ever considered that you might be depressed? If so, it might be that your depression will lift, now that you are sober. Otherwise, you might want to think about talking to your dr.
I hope you keep reading and posting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Welcome to SR!
1st off, do you remember how you stayed sober for 5 years? Was anything working that stands out to you now? If you have done it once, you should be able to do it again.
You might take another stab at AA. That takes care of a couple of things you are seeking such as support and being around people that don't drink. As for myself, AA didn't click when I hit my first dozen or so meetings. Of course I was still drinking at the time and I was going for the wrong reasons. Once I really had that desire to stop drinking though, I saw AA in a whole new light and I started to attend meetings for me. As it turns out, that made a huge difference.
I have read about other treatment and recovery methods in this forum and elsewhere online. I do not claim that AA is the only way, I do know that it is the only way for me. If you look around SR, you should be able to find posts and links for those options. From what I can tell, the most successful ones involve fellowship and follow up.
I wish you success in recovery and keep posting!
1st off, do you remember how you stayed sober for 5 years? Was anything working that stands out to you now? If you have done it once, you should be able to do it again.
You might take another stab at AA. That takes care of a couple of things you are seeking such as support and being around people that don't drink. As for myself, AA didn't click when I hit my first dozen or so meetings. Of course I was still drinking at the time and I was going for the wrong reasons. Once I really had that desire to stop drinking though, I saw AA in a whole new light and I started to attend meetings for me. As it turns out, that made a huge difference.
I have read about other treatment and recovery methods in this forum and elsewhere online. I do not claim that AA is the only way, I do know that it is the only way for me. If you look around SR, you should be able to find posts and links for those options. From what I can tell, the most successful ones involve fellowship and follow up.
I wish you success in recovery and keep posting!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Welcome Jon and congratulations on your sober time. I'm newly sober - two weeks - but am happy to leave that old life behind and work on building a new and better life for myself and family.
This is a good place for support and advice. I learn a lot from everyone here. I'm sure you will too.
:ghug3
This is a good place for support and advice. I learn a lot from everyone here. I'm sure you will too.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NYC - New York
Posts: 305
Hello Jon and welcome - Great job!! Over 30 days sober!!!
As far as isolating yourself, have you considered joining any volunteer groups or activity clubs (cycling, rock climbing, books, chess etc)
As far as isolating yourself, have you considered joining any volunteer groups or activity clubs (cycling, rock climbing, books, chess etc)
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome!
I found a circle of non drinkers in my AA meetings.
I see you did not find AA was for you earlier
but perhaps another look would benefit you now.
I dunno...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
