In a really bad place
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Dubai, UAE
Posts: 9
In a really bad place
I am 30 years of age and I am an alcoholic. Yesterday I took a day off work and ended up getting drunk. My husband of 2 years told me to leave, but although my bags are packed I am still here. Afraid to go, afraid to stay, afraid of facing up to the fact that I am about to lose a lot and it could have been prevented. I am in a very bad place right now. Aching inside but unable to cry. Scared (terrified witless actually), hating myself, lonely, lost, guilty, (did I mention scared?) When I start drinking I cant seem to stop and its horrible how we fight during those times. We've never had the easiest relationship but this certainly doesnt help. He says its the only thing in our relationship thats causing a problem. I dont think thats entirely true but I cant blame him for being so angry. We are away from friends and family, just the two of us overseas. I dont know how I am supposed to sort this out. I cant do it alone. The Middle East isnt exactly support central. How I managed to generate a drinking problem here of all places is pretty funny actually. I need to find people who can help me through this, who understand, because I dont understand and I am not sure how to cope with how I am feeling right now. Thanks for reading this.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Welcome Nicole
When my son was in Dubai, he said it was a very busy city. I think if you do some looking, you may find some AA meetings. Not seeing them or not knowing about them doesn't mean there are none.
Alcohol is never the problem in a relationship...it is the things we do and our attitude that are the problem...Alcohol only makes it worse.
Fear can be a good tool. It was fear that opened my eyes to what I was doing and had me start to seek answers.
You can try stopping on your own but I find it easier asking others for answers rather then searching blindly to find them on my own.
I am thinking your being in Dubai...are you military? If so...they have excellent support systems through on base programs.
There are answers. There is support. You can do it.
It becomes a matter of how much you want it.
I hope you have enough fear that your eyes become opened as mine did.
If I can do it, so can you.
When my son was in Dubai, he said it was a very busy city. I think if you do some looking, you may find some AA meetings. Not seeing them or not knowing about them doesn't mean there are none.
Alcohol is never the problem in a relationship...it is the things we do and our attitude that are the problem...Alcohol only makes it worse.
Fear can be a good tool. It was fear that opened my eyes to what I was doing and had me start to seek answers.
You can try stopping on your own but I find it easier asking others for answers rather then searching blindly to find them on my own.
I am thinking your being in Dubai...are you military? If so...they have excellent support systems through on base programs.
There are answers. There is support. You can do it.
It becomes a matter of how much you want it.
I hope you have enough fear that your eyes become opened as mine did.
If I can do it, so can you.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I just did a google search for AA meetings in Dubai. It showed a few web sites with some meetings.
Here is one...
Page Title
Here is one...
Page Title
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 321
Goodness, you've gotten quite a bit of good information already! I agree, try to hit those meetings. You'll find someone there who will understand how you feel (we all do here, too!), but, someone with a FACE. They would probably have much more information for you, over there.
I've been there, and I agree, it's an odd place. I didn't even know they had alcohol there. Nonetheless, it doesn't matter.
What matters, is that you are here. This is the BEST support system you can find, 24/7, someone is ALWAYS here. Read the stories in this section, you'll glean a ton of insight that, I promise, will help you. As one said here recently, "just close your eyes and click" if you don't know where to go. You can't go wrong!
I'm glad you found SR, especially since you are definitely in such an isolated world there. Prayers are going up for you, NicoleT!
Stay here, keep posting, hang with us! We are all in this together!!!
:ghug:praying
Honu
I've been there, and I agree, it's an odd place. I didn't even know they had alcohol there. Nonetheless, it doesn't matter.
What matters, is that you are here. This is the BEST support system you can find, 24/7, someone is ALWAYS here. Read the stories in this section, you'll glean a ton of insight that, I promise, will help you. As one said here recently, "just close your eyes and click" if you don't know where to go. You can't go wrong!
I'm glad you found SR, especially since you are definitely in such an isolated world there. Prayers are going up for you, NicoleT!
Stay here, keep posting, hang with us! We are all in this together!!!
:ghug:praying
Honu
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Nicole, I must agree with everyone who's posted. You've come to a good place for support and advice and love. I must also suggest, as others already have, that you find that AA meeting and go to it.
Do you (and husband) have a doctor over there? If so, I suggest calling him and asking for help in stopping drinking, since it can be dangerous, depending on how much you've been drinking and how often.
My prayers are with you in your desire to stop drinking. It can be done, but is a lot easier with support and help, both from AA and from a doctor.
lots of love to you in your journey to sobriety!:ghug:praying
Do you (and husband) have a doctor over there? If so, I suggest calling him and asking for help in stopping drinking, since it can be dangerous, depending on how much you've been drinking and how often.
My prayers are with you in your desire to stop drinking. It can be done, but is a lot easier with support and help, both from AA and from a doctor.
lots of love to you in your journey to sobriety!:ghug:praying
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Dubai, UAE
Posts: 9
No, I am not military... but the links everyone posted were really helpful. I have written down the details and will take it from there. I am so shaky and tearful right now, but it's all inside me and I cant get it out. I dont know whats going to happen tonight, my husband has agreed to talk to me; I said before that I was afraid to stay - because if I mess this up again the disappointment and the grief and the hurt and the anger is going to be that much harder to deal with.
Does anyone ever think that God doesnt give us any more than we can cope with and successfully overcome?
I am just so confused right now. Every time something good comes into my life I just go right ahead and muck it up. I got to the stage about a year 1/2 ago when I could admit that I may have a problem, I just started drinking too much - I wasnt working, I was stuck in an apartment all day on the outskirts of the city, I was bored, I was lonely as hell and so I'd drink. I've never actually been in denial, but for the first time today I actually came out and said "I am an alcoholic" - do you think that's maybe why I am so freaked out right now?
Does anyone ever think that God doesnt give us any more than we can cope with and successfully overcome?
I am just so confused right now. Every time something good comes into my life I just go right ahead and muck it up. I got to the stage about a year 1/2 ago when I could admit that I may have a problem, I just started drinking too much - I wasnt working, I was stuck in an apartment all day on the outskirts of the city, I was bored, I was lonely as hell and so I'd drink. I've never actually been in denial, but for the first time today I actually came out and said "I am an alcoholic" - do you think that's maybe why I am so freaked out right now?
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
I first admitted out loud to myself and someone in my family that I was an alcoholic and needed help. That was last December. AFter three times in detox and many promises and relapses I now have 11 days sober. I go to AA, and counseling, and come here often.
I pray that you will be able to get to a meeting and find the support you need. You don't have to be alone anymore and you don't have to drink anymore. You can do this.
I hope your talk with your husband is successful and positive and that he is willing to support your efforts to stop drinking.
:ghug3
I pray that you will be able to get to a meeting and find the support you need. You don't have to be alone anymore and you don't have to drink anymore. You can do this.
I hope your talk with your husband is successful and positive and that he is willing to support your efforts to stop drinking.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
NicoleT - Welcome to SR. You are among friends Hon. You took a big step and its a good step. We can be with you all the way and of course, there's the link to the AA meetings. You admitted you were an alcoholic. Its a disease and not a character reference. Its okay and you'll be okay. Hugs and prayers to you!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Nicole,
Welcome! I can completely identify with what you are feeling. I was there just a week ago. Please stick around, read, listen to the people here and breathe (as I was reminded to do last night...LOL). You have found an amazing group of people here, who are willing to help and support you. I have not had a drink in 6 days, mostly because the folks here helped me to ask for help. Please listen to their advice. I wish you well.
Welcome! I can completely identify with what you are feeling. I was there just a week ago. Please stick around, read, listen to the people here and breathe (as I was reminded to do last night...LOL). You have found an amazing group of people here, who are willing to help and support you. I have not had a drink in 6 days, mostly because the folks here helped me to ask for help. Please listen to their advice. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 51
Hi again Nicole,
I already answered your other post, but I liked this question on yours.
From our own experience, as I said, we've been overseas for 22yrs, and... We can't do it anymore, we have reached our limits of living abroad without the support networks that exist back home (family, church etc) Just ONE of the symptoms has been my recent runaway drinking. In 3 months, though still relatively young and earning a phenomenal salary, I am resigning from my job and going home.
Living abroad places incredible stress on a marriage. It most definitely requires not only that BOTH partners enthusiastically agree to it, but that they continue to evaluate and count the cost, placing the marriage before careers.
Another reference for you that has helped my wife & me a lot is Dr. Harley's marriagebuilders dot com web site. Check out his principle of "enthusiastic agreement"
May God give you both wisdom,
Paul
I already answered your other post, but I liked this question on yours.
Does anyone ever think that God doesnt give us any more than we can cope with and successfully overcome?
Living abroad places incredible stress on a marriage. It most definitely requires not only that BOTH partners enthusiastically agree to it, but that they continue to evaluate and count the cost, placing the marriage before careers.
Another reference for you that has helped my wife & me a lot is Dr. Harley's marriagebuilders dot com web site. Check out his principle of "enthusiastic agreement"
May God give you both wisdom,
Paul
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