Overwhelmed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Overwhelmed
Hey guys,
It's been and up and down day, again. Had my first real urge to drink while reading a book, in which the main character was drinking...UGHHHHH...put the book down came on here and settled down. Reading the posts helps remind me why I am here. Went to a great meeting/get together with my new sponsor tried really hard to listen to what was being said and had a good time. I have no idea why, but the rollercoaster is on it's way down, again. I don't know if it's because I'm not sleeping enough (4 hours a night is NOT cutting it) and/or if I'm just feeling overwhelmed by all of the sudden changes...Please don't get me wrong...I WANT the changes, it's just whole lot over such a short period of time. I feel like I am being ungrateful for all the help I am being offered by feeling this way and I don't like that feeling one bit!
I'm supposed to get a notebook to take notes at the meetings. My sponsor wants me to write down any questions I may have, what I got out of the meeting, and a couple of other things that I can't remember because my brain is fried tonight. I'm absolutely willing to do it, but right now I'm not even sure what questions I do have, or what I have gotten out of the meetings except that I know I am not alone and not to pick up a drink. I'm also supposed to get a Big Book and 12 step book. I know this is not supposed to be easy. I think I'll go to a meeting first thing in the morning, as well as tomorrow evening. Do me a favor and tell me that feeling this way is normal.
It's been and up and down day, again. Had my first real urge to drink while reading a book, in which the main character was drinking...UGHHHHH...put the book down came on here and settled down. Reading the posts helps remind me why I am here. Went to a great meeting/get together with my new sponsor tried really hard to listen to what was being said and had a good time. I have no idea why, but the rollercoaster is on it's way down, again. I don't know if it's because I'm not sleeping enough (4 hours a night is NOT cutting it) and/or if I'm just feeling overwhelmed by all of the sudden changes...Please don't get me wrong...I WANT the changes, it's just whole lot over such a short period of time. I feel like I am being ungrateful for all the help I am being offered by feeling this way and I don't like that feeling one bit!
I'm supposed to get a notebook to take notes at the meetings. My sponsor wants me to write down any questions I may have, what I got out of the meeting, and a couple of other things that I can't remember because my brain is fried tonight. I'm absolutely willing to do it, but right now I'm not even sure what questions I do have, or what I have gotten out of the meetings except that I know I am not alone and not to pick up a drink. I'm also supposed to get a Big Book and 12 step book. I know this is not supposed to be easy. I think I'll go to a meeting first thing in the morning, as well as tomorrow evening. Do me a favor and tell me that feeling this way is normal.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Early sobriety can be very up and down.
I'm not an AA person, but I was very focused on my recovery journey and knew where I wanted to go. It was slow and sometimes frustrating, but I just kept focusing on my goal. For me, I focused on trying to quiet my mind (not easily done), in order to be able to 'hear' my soul, my inner voice.
Be patient with yourself. Take a break sometimes and go for a walk, or listen to music for a few minutes. Stay focused on your sobriety. You're doing great.
I'm not an AA person, but I was very focused on my recovery journey and knew where I wanted to go. It was slow and sometimes frustrating, but I just kept focusing on my goal. For me, I focused on trying to quiet my mind (not easily done), in order to be able to 'hear' my soul, my inner voice.
Be patient with yourself. Take a break sometimes and go for a walk, or listen to music for a few minutes. Stay focused on your sobriety. You're doing great.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
I agree with Anna, you are doing great....and YES, what you are feeling is normal. I was overwhelmed in the beginning also, it is not easy learning to live in a completely different manor than what we are used to!! Even "normal" people would be overwhelmed learning to live in a whole new way!! Keep up the good work...Cathy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Hi guys,
Anna I think you hit the nail on the head. I am feeling frustrated and have no idea why. I guess I'm approaching this like I do everything else. I expect myself to be able to do anything I attempt. Probably not the healthiest approach, but it's the way I am.
Thank you both for the reassurance.
Anna I think you hit the nail on the head. I am feeling frustrated and have no idea why. I guess I'm approaching this like I do everything else. I expect myself to be able to do anything I attempt. Probably not the healthiest approach, but it's the way I am.
Thank you both for the reassurance.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
RELAX!!!What you are feeling is absolutely normal! You have to remember, you are going through some major changes right now. Take a deep breath and rest assured, you seem to be right on track.
You have been on the go for several days now. It's good to stay busy, but don't over do it. Take a bubble bath. Take some scented candles in the bathroom, some soothing music, dim the lights and lay back and just relax. Try this right before you turn in for the night.
You're sleep routine will return to normal soon enough. If you can, try working a nap into your day. You need to rest the body as well as the mind.
You are doing wonderful. Remember that it took some time to get to where you were when you surrendered to this disease, it's going to take some time to begin to feel "normal" again.
Keep it Simple . . .One Day at A Time,
Judy
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Flgirl,
It's so normal it's not funny. Hang tight. Just know that there is nothing more important you could be doing right now. You are doing exactly what you're supossed to do. And it is courageous, scary, and unique to you.
With love and support,
MLE
It's so normal it's not funny. Hang tight. Just know that there is nothing more important you could be doing right now. You are doing exactly what you're supossed to do. And it is courageous, scary, and unique to you.
With love and support,
MLE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
I knew I could count on you guys! :ghug I know I am just way overtired and need to just slow down and breathe. You guys are the best! The good news is that this Sunday evening (as opposed to last Sunday) I will go to bed without having had a drink!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
New to AA
Hi flgirl,
I agree with everyone above. I was a perfectionist with most every thing I did in my life but I found I couldn't do it that way with my AA Program. It does seem overwhelming with all the new people and new way of doing things. I had a good sponsor which did help me keep myself in perspective.
The first year of sobriety I just focused on staying sober and adjusting to my medications for my Clinical Depression + worked. I often wouldn't share at my first meetings unless something hit me right between the eyes...that I could relate to.
Welcome to the Sober Life....it will be so good as you take it a day at a time. I wouldn't change my sobriety for anything else in my life. :ghug2
kelsh
I agree with everyone above. I was a perfectionist with most every thing I did in my life but I found I couldn't do it that way with my AA Program. It does seem overwhelming with all the new people and new way of doing things. I had a good sponsor which did help me keep myself in perspective.
The first year of sobriety I just focused on staying sober and adjusting to my medications for my Clinical Depression + worked. I often wouldn't share at my first meetings unless something hit me right between the eyes...that I could relate to.
Welcome to the Sober Life....it will be so good as you take it a day at a time. I wouldn't change my sobriety for anything else in my life. :ghug2
kelsh
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hi Flgirl, as others are saying just relax a bit.
I think we want changes to come immediately, we can stop the drinking straight away but everything that comes with it takes a bit more time. What you are going through is normal and you are doing fine, best wishes.
I think we want changes to come immediately, we can stop the drinking straight away but everything that comes with it takes a bit more time. What you are going through is normal and you are doing fine, best wishes.
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 321
Wow, the wisdom flying off of these pages this morning is overwhelming!!!
FLgirl, just relax, I agree! You don't have to do everything today. You don't have to get your notebook, read the BB, read the 12 step book, go to 7 meetings, go to work, take care of your home, and feed the world all today, OK?
It seems so overwhelming!!! Just BREATHE. RELAX. Go for a walk. What you want to do today, do it. If it doesn't happen? Oh, well, tomorrow. Maybe.
The big thing is just "Don't think, and don't drink". That's it! Sounds simple, huh? It really is. Thinking, usually gets me into trouble. So does NOT thinking....(oh, me, now what do I do???
) I hope you get my drift!
mle said it right! It is SO normal that it's not funny! The best thing? Is that you talked to someone about it right away! And look what you got! Post after Post of Wisdom, in a matter of minutes!!! Very cool.
Hang tough! and have a FABULOUS day!
Honu
FLgirl, just relax, I agree! You don't have to do everything today. You don't have to get your notebook, read the BB, read the 12 step book, go to 7 meetings, go to work, take care of your home, and feed the world all today, OK?
It seems so overwhelming!!! Just BREATHE. RELAX. Go for a walk. What you want to do today, do it. If it doesn't happen? Oh, well, tomorrow. Maybe.
The big thing is just "Don't think, and don't drink". That's it! Sounds simple, huh? It really is. Thinking, usually gets me into trouble. So does NOT thinking....(oh, me, now what do I do???
) I hope you get my drift!mle said it right! It is SO normal that it's not funny! The best thing? Is that you talked to someone about it right away! And look what you got! Post after Post of Wisdom, in a matter of minutes!!! Very cool.
Hang tough! and have a FABULOUS day!
Honu
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
I too agree with what's been said. My emotions are all over the place too, but I have to keep reminding myself that "this too shall pass". You can make it. Just remember that your body and mind are readjusting to living without alcohol and it's a bit hard and scary at first. But it will get better.
I too had an urge to drink yesterday, if for no other reason than just to get some sleep. But I told myself sternly that drinking myself to sleep isn't sleeping - it's passing out and isn't good sleep. The urge soon went away, but I did take an otc sleep aid and got some sleep last nite. But I didn't drink and that's what is important.
I will keep you in my prayers!:ghug3
I too had an urge to drink yesterday, if for no other reason than just to get some sleep. But I told myself sternly that drinking myself to sleep isn't sleeping - it's passing out and isn't good sleep. The urge soon went away, but I did take an otc sleep aid and got some sleep last nite. But I didn't drink and that's what is important.
I will keep you in my prayers!:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Thanks guys,
I actually got about 6 hours of sleep, which has helped a lot. I'm in a better frame of mind today. I know I can do this and really appreciate all of your support! You guys are the best! :ghug
I actually got about 6 hours of sleep, which has helped a lot. I'm in a better frame of mind today. I know I can do this and really appreciate all of your support! You guys are the best! :ghug
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
Hey Flgirl. The next time your feeling down, just take a peek at Surlyredhead's avatar of that cat wearing the helmet of whatever it's made of. I roll out out my seat everytime I see that. Tons of great advice has just been flung your way. Hang tuff!!!!!
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by suki44883 
It's a lime rind. LOL
Hey Florida. Have you tried just laying in bed with some easy music playing and recalling all the reasons why today was such a good day? Or if that doesn't work, I have some old Engineering books you can read that will bore you right into lala land.
Seriously. I found that for me, just relaxing in bed was more restful than sitting up doing something. Don't get frustrated because you're not sleeping. Rejoice in the fact that you are laying there peacefully in your bed. And invest in a good pillow...
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 321
I have trouble sleeping, too. My problem seems to be that I am laying in bed, listing the things I am thankful for. I get so overwhelmed because the list continues to grow, that I can't sleep. But, if that's what's keeping me awake these days, I'll take it anytime.
And, ditto on the pillows. Also, some great high thread count sheets and a warm puppy are good, too!!!
Hugs to ya, Flgirl!!
Honu
And, ditto on the pillows. Also, some great high thread count sheets and a warm puppy are good, too!!!
Hugs to ya, Flgirl!!
Honu
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Thanks guys,
It's insomnia. Ughhhhhhhhhhh! I did get a little more sleep last night, which is good because I have to go to work today. I'm not feeling to great today, which sucks! I was feeling so good yesterday
I've got the great pillow and high count thread sheets. They feel good...LOL
It's insomnia. Ughhhhhhhhhhh! I did get a little more sleep last night, which is good because I have to go to work today. I'm not feeling to great today, which sucks! I was feeling so good yesterday
I've got the great pillow and high count thread sheets. They feel good...LOL
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Flgirl,
I don't have insomnia and have only had it when I was really manic (I'm Bipolar). So I really feel for you - I think it would suck suck suck. What do you do to try to address it? I would think that not getting enough sleep could really affect everything in your life. I think it's a pretty serious thing if it continues.
I'm glad you're hanging in there! You're doing a good job!
- MLE
I don't have insomnia and have only had it when I was really manic (I'm Bipolar). So I really feel for you - I think it would suck suck suck. What do you do to try to address it? I would think that not getting enough sleep could really affect everything in your life. I think it's a pretty serious thing if it continues.
I'm glad you're hanging in there! You're doing a good job!
- MLE
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
You know what I've been doing when having trouble sleeping? I whimper loudly. This gets my labrador concerned about me, and she gets out of her little "cave" in the closet, and up on the bed. Then she lays her head right next to my cheek and puts a paw on me and we just hug. Her furry face, and the sound of her rythmic breath on my cheek, and just all the loving feelings I can feel coming from her lull me to sleep. Nothing is as soothing as the unconditional love of an animal. At least to me.
kj
kj
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