Done_With_It

That is exactly my point and why I asked, you asked us to give your a reason, but if you were looking for an anti-alcohol forum then there is something inside of you that must not like the life you are living, there Has to be a part of you that wants to get sober..... Or you would be in a bar, or on your couch, anywhere but here, on a recovery board.

Does that make any sense? I think if you look inside yourself you may already have some of the answers and reasons you are looking for as to why you should or want to get sober.

Do you think maybe fear is in place here? Or what Carol said? I know a lot of us self medicate.. If you have the money what about going to see someone who can help you figure this out?

BTW, I forgot to Welcome you!!! :ghug3

Daddio

To whom are you rationalizing this existance? No one here my friend. There is no rational explantion of your current actions. So please explain so I (we) might further understand.

Hevyn

Welcome to you Unsub. As you are probably already aware, you are only putting in time - that is not a life. You are squandering the time on this Earth that you were given to enjoy. You may die before you've ever even allowed yourself to live - a painful, miserable, lonely death. (Did you ever see the last days of Nick Cage in "Leaving Las Vegas"?) It would be helpful if we could know more about your background - did you ever have to work? Was there ever anything that made you happy or gave you satisfaction? We hope to hear more.

Anna

There is so much you could do with your life and if you have time and money, there is a multitude of ways that you can give back.

Check with your dr to see if he thinks you might be depressed. Medication could be a great help to you.

Pinkcuda

Right back at ya! If you can give me a good reason to get drunk, I'll buy.

mle-sober

Unsub,

I am sorry to tell you that in the end, you always go back to your "habit" because you are an alcoholic. There is no "rationalizing" going on here. You are doing what your alcoholism tells you to do. Generally speaking, we alcoholics are selfish and self-centered. You are not thinking outside of yourself. You are only experiencing the immersion world of drinking solo all day every day.

From my perspective, you desperately need inpatient rehab treatment. Once you get a little distance from the misery that you are currently living with, you will slowly begin to notice a world filled with possibilities. Until you wrench yourself away (not saying it's going to be easy - it's going to hurt) from your solo world, you are not really living.

Of course you're having a hard time coming up with a reason to quit drinking. You have nothing within your range of reach that is worth living for. You've effectively eliminated any possibility that things that really matter can reach you.
You say you drink because you can't find any reason not to. But the truth is (listen closely here) you can't find any reason not to drink, PRECISELY because you drink.

I wish you hope. Of all the things I wish for you (they're many) hope is the main thing. Hope can lead you out of a terrible dark place. You need some glimmer of hope. Maybe we can be that for you here at SR. So many people do recover. They really do. And you can too. You have to take the first step though - you have to decide that you want to recover.

- MLE

tennis71

Welcome to SR!

Only you can figure out if you want to be sober or not so the question is Do you want to stay sober? Without trying to rationalize it, just ask yourself if you have the desire to stop drinking.

I quit because I wanted to become sober. I accepted that I was powerless over alcohol. It was bad enough that I needed alcohol to get through the day so I could buy more alcohol. All I was doing was drinking alone in my apartment while watching TV. I wasn't working and my only trips out were to the store for more booze, maybe some food if I remembered. I had finally had enough of it. My life had became unmanageable.

You may or may not be experiencing anything like this. Surf around, read linked articles and read the posts. There is a lot of truth, information and heart in this site to last a life time, even if you continue to drink. However, if something does click and you want to quit, you are in the right spot to begin the journey.

Welcome again, keep posting and just think, if a huge tornado ripping through Windsor didn't give Pinkcuda a reason to drink, then maybe there is something to this sobriety thing.
:praying

Pinkcuda

Drinking is a great "Motivation Killer" which might explain why you inherited a half a million bucks, yet still live in a one bedroom Apartment. It also turns us away from society, which might explain your lack of friends.
It also destroys our sense of self worth which might explain your lack of a job. Money is only one reason to go to work. A sense of pride and acomplishment is another.

Serenity2008

Yeah, I understand that. I know where you are coming from. But that is the paragraph itself that says you want to stay sober and live a different life.

I am not one for the tough love approach, it doesnt work for me but I will tell you that in my experience money doesnt make you happy, and I know as I have plenty too. But earning it, working for it now that makes me feel happy, it makes me feel like I have a sense of purpose a sense of belonging to this world.

I also had a bad habit of rationalizing my behaviour, to myself. I did it every single time I quit drinking.

I am only on 6 days sober today but its different, it feels different, I am going to go to any lengths to stay this way, thats the difference.

Have you ever attended an AA meeting? Maybe that would open your eyes a little, maybe if you saw others succeeding it may inspire you.

I dont know the answer for you my friend, but I know that at 29 years old, this is wrong, its wrong for you and its wrong for all the people in the world who could be benefiting from knowing you.

I hope you stay here, I hope you learn and I hope you find a way to help yourself.

Fireyes

Perhaps you could meet some new friends in an AA meeting? Some people who understand exactly where you are coming from?

least

I'd been living my life for the last 14 months by rationalizing everything, but I was really just lying thru my teeth. The only thing about me in good shape was my 'rationalization muscle'. Everything else was going to hell. I just couldn't keep on going that way. I wasn't living, just putting in time.

barb dwyer

too bad.

imagine all that self absorbtion turned toward helping someone else for once.
all that money spent on self ... used to help others.

sure is a sefish and self-centered disease, isn't it?

bummer.
too bad you can't find a reason to be sober.
I can think of about a hunner million of 'em.

nogard

I agree with Rusty.

One way or anothe we al need to find that reason to be.

When the dough has gone and your sick alone and hurting then perhaps you will quit. Or you can learn from others quit and make a life for yourself.

Kevin

unsub

i found an aa meeting in my area within walking distance but am scared to go. i am a stubborn atheist and really had bad experiences with religious people. everything i read about aa and the prayers turns me off but it is free and i have nothing to lose so should i give it a try and risk it?

flgirl

Hi unsub,

I went to my first meeting on Friday evening. I was TERRIFIED, but I went anyway. Yes, there was a prayer at the beginning and end of the meeting, but one thing that I was told then and yesterday, and tonight that "God" is simply your higher power. It was explained a whole lot better than I just did, but maybe some of the other folks on here can do a better job. I guess one of the things I did come away with is that AA does not identify with any one religion. Why not try it if you have nothing to lose. And if you don't care for that meeting, try a different one. I've been to 3 meetings in the past 3 days and each was completely different, yet the message was the same.

Honu

You drink because it gives you a reason to get up and enjoy life? You don't seem to be enjoying it very much. Trust me, the money will run out in record time, and you'll still be stuck in that apartment, alone, with no money, and no where to go. You won't be able to afford to do anything. Maybe you could use that money to get yourself into some good inpatient treatment? That would be money well spent.

I have no family, either. I know how that feels, all too well. You say you have no friends, I'd say you have one very bad one. Vodka. That will destroy you. Not a friend at all.

We all know how you feel, in one way or the other, but, the excuses are getting you no where.

You aren't alone. Listen to the advise given here. Or, you can keep doing what you're doing, and next week, or next month, or next year, you'll still be in the same place. Time doesn't stand still. We do, if we choose to.

I read on here, in a post to me, that said, "Don't let your story end with a struggle with alcohol." That's a sad story.

Get a move on!!

Honu

splendra

((((unsub))))

Welcome to Sober Recovery!!

Thank you for giving me a reason to care about one more person! We are a family here and we are always hoping more people will become a part of our family. The reason I want to give is because you are worth it.

29 years old seems like such a young age to give up on yourself. When I was your age I thought I had to drink in order to function. Now I am more than 20 years sober. I did not go to AA I sought help from doctors. I go to AA now to support others in their quest to get clean and it is very rewarding to see someone go from destitute to thriving.

I am going thru a very hard time right now all my bills are past due and I don't have any income. It is depressing but, I know if I went back to drinking I would be in worse shape than I am in right now.

Life is all we really have. I hope that you can find a way to cherish your life. You are worth more than the money in your bank account. I am glad that you have reached out. To me that says some part of you knows that drinking is not good for you. I hope very soon we will be celebrating with you that you have decided to cherish your life.

I would hope if I could not reach my child that someone could. Won't you come be our son, brother, friend and walk this very exciting journey with us. There are no guarantees in life but, it is always better when you have friends there with you. We are with you. Please keep posting you are worth it!!

least

I too urge you to try AA. And try several different meetings before you decide whether you like it or not. AA is not a religious group, but it is spiritual. There are many 'religious' people in AA but the group itself is not. There are many atheists and agnostics in AA. And when the group does its prayers, you do not have to join in. No one will force you to do or say anything. Please do not be afraid to go. There are many good people in those rooms who will help you. All you have to do is go, listen to what they say, and take what you can use and ignore the rest.

I will keep you in my thoughts.:ghug3

mikel60

Hey unsub,
Glad you're here. I was 36 and pretty much in the same situation you're in now, minus the 500k. I had about a buck fifty left. I went to AA, didn't like or want religion either. Didn't get it either. What I got was a life.
You wanna know what I did this morning? I walked along the Charles River here in Boston with my 18 month old Liam. He chased robins, rabbits, and squirrels. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Yeah, I know that can't compete with drinking myself silly in a one room apartment on a beautiful summer day, but you asked for a reason. There's one of mine.
You want more? Like Barb said - I've got a million of them.
Keep posting.
Mike

Emimily

i read your post and the first thing i thought was "how lame." i know, right? sorry to be so judgemental, but really. do you watch movies or something? how do you not leave your house? boooooring... but, this is coming from a girl who's a bit of an AA cheerleader, so maybe that's it.

at any rate - 1 reason to be sober is that you won't get cirrhosis (spelled totally wrong) of the liver, turn yellow and DIE. more than likely, anyway.

i'll give you another reason, just in case that first one wasn't good enough - you'll get a shot to actually LIVE your life instead of just watching it slip by.