Goldfish

I was so much happier when I was drinking. I just worry all the time now.

Am I on the right path with my life?

Should I be making the commitment to school I am? I'm a returning student really expensive and I'm not totally sure the program right for me.

Should I stay with my boyfriend that I've been with for 2 years who has been very supportive, kind, and patient with me, but I'm feeling distant with now?

I'm just confused and isolated. I never have free time, but if I somehow get it I have no idea what to do with it. I get worked up and worn out. I've been sober for a month but its not getting easier.

PupMum

Nothing useful to say but sending hugs and warm fuzzies

Aysha

I am sure it took alot longer than a month to tear yourself down with drinking. It is going to take just as long if not longer to get right again.
It is natural what you are feeling.
I couldnt tell you how many times I have said that exact same thing.
I was happier getting high. But I wasnt happier. I was just comfortable.
Comfortable not having to deal with life sober.
But not dealing with life just made more problems that I will eventually have to deal with.
It will get better. You just have to hang in there.

CarolD

30 days is a time of confusion for many of us

Try to relax and let the mental and physical healing grow.
There is nothing positive I know of that drinking enhances.

22NGONE

Worry, doubt and fear are of the Devil. Faith, hope and courage are of the Lord. "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."

Have faith, pray and go on about your day, every day, one day at a time.

John

Emimily

my home group met last night. i sat in the closed discussion, and one of our home group members brought up the topic of how to get through death of a loved one sober. his friend just lost his wife. so, the meetins starts and one of my very favorite men shared - he closed with this simple fact: "i've never heard of anyone successfully deal with a problem by drinking over it."

true dat. you're gonna make it, goldfish, just one day at a time.

indigo

It really does get easier, you get your life back! how great is that? 30 days is really good.

1963comet

When I first quit my emotions were all over the place. At times I thought about drinking to relieve what I was feeling. But I am so glad that I stuck with it because it did go away. It does take awhile for your body to heal. I went to a doctor instead of drinking.

This is what happened to me and what I did. I know everyone is not the same but thought this might help you.

Tazman53

Welcome to SR Goldfish, as others have already said, it does get better with time, what are you doing in regards to recovery?

Most people find programs and support groups to make things a lot easier, knowing how others have felt and dealt with staying sober was a tremendous help for me. Seeing people face to face who have been sober for may years and listening to them gave me a great deal of hope that staying sober long term is possible, but more importantly seeing that I could be happy being sober.

It is not easy at first, it takes time for our bodies and our souls to heal. Simply getting sober did not help me at all, I was miserable, I found that working on my recovery, becoming a better person, a useful and happy person made a huge difference for me. Just not drinking made me miserable, changing me brought me happiness and an ability to be comfortable in my own skin.

Rowan

Stay on the recovery path, and trust that others who have gone before you understand what you are going through. Try to have faith. Hang in there. We do care and understand.

mle-sober

Hi Goldfish,

Congratulations on one month of sobriety! Good job! It sounds to me that you've been "white Knucking" it a bit. Do you know what that means? Like you're being successful at not putting alcohol in your body but you're not really taking other steps to recover. I think of recovery as different from sobriety. At least in my own mind, sobriety means not drinking. Got it. Can do that. Hate it. But recovery, it's a whole nother ball game. It means really working to understand what caused you to drink and how it effected you and your life and the people around you. It means really fully internalizing the fact that you are an alcoholic and what that means - that if you drink, you make things in your life go bad. It also means taking a good look at how you hurt others with your drinking. And trying to find ways to lovingly address that issue. It means creating a life that you want to live - which doesn't have any place for alcohol in it.

I have found AA and my sponsor really helpful in terms of recovery. And I'm in therapy to better understand and heal parts of me that caused me to drink in the first place. How is it that I created a life which is only attractive and fun if I have constant and ready access to fermented grapes? How strange is that? I don't WANT to be driven by alcohol. I want to be free of alcohol and it's insessant demands.

I guess when I read this post and also your other one that began with the question of whether or not to get sober (because your boyfriend told you he loves you but doesn't like you when you're drinking) what I sense is that you need more support and you need to find a way to make your recovery encompass more than just not drinking.

With care,
MLE

Daddio

Hey Goldfish. I seem to recall calling my Brother somewhere around day 30 to tell him I was feeling hungover. Just felt like I wanted to kick somebody's ass! And I am the most passive person you will ever meet in your life!!! I was told that it was part of the detx process and that it was probably some of the cellular level booze making its way out.

Give it more time and you will come out the other side feeling pretty darn good. As the say, the light you see in the tunnel is the end of the tunnel - not an oncoming train!!!

Peace

Jomey

I understand, Goldfish. Anxiety and worry were part of what led me to drinking in the first place, and the first month of sobriety was an all out full force blast of emotion for me. I was all over the place emotionally. I am fortunate that I had a loving husband and mother in law by my side, willing to accept whatever I threw at them until I started to understand "feeling" again.

I don't know how long you have been drinking, but as Chiynita wisely said, Rome wasn't built in a day, so relax in the knowledge that many before you have felt the same way, try to resist making major changes in your life for a little while yet at least, and talk, post, stay close here.

Also, as Taz said, a good support group - there are many, including AA -may be just what you need. Nothing feels as good as having someone who's been sober a while say, "Yeah, I felt like that too and I made it."

Take care & be gentle with yourself - Jomey

nogard

hi Goldfish, welcome to SR

Great advice you got here. Take it slowly and one day @ a time we get better.

Kevin

Anna

Goldfish, hang in there.

Early sobriety is a time of many changes and it takes some patience to get through all the emotions that show themselves. I think you will find that you learn to deal with the feelings that come along. Just take it slow, and be kind to yourself.