Sorcha

Can't really believe I'm doing this but it's come to a point where I need to make a change in my life. Have been a big binge drinker since I was about 17, I'm now 29 and haven't improved at all. I've put myself in some unbelievably dangerous situations and even ended up in hospital after hitting my head on one occasion. I got really drunk last Friday on a work do and woke up the next day feeling horrendous - not just from the hangover but also the depression that came with it. I spent two days crying because I was so low and vowed that was it, I would never drink again. Come Saturday night, yesterday, I was chucking back the pints of lager like a good un - and I'm a five foot nothing female. I stayed at a friend's house without telling my husband that I wasn't coming home (he'd left earlier after asking me to stop drinking for the night but I wouldn't listen) so he had to phone her this morning to find out where I was. What a lovely wife I am. My problem is that I just can't stop drinking once I start, and that invariably means that I'll wake up the next day with a stinking hangover, not quite sure of how I got home and who I've seen and what I've said to them. I've told myself a million times that I won't do it any more, but as soon as I go to the pub and see the alcohol on offer I forget my good intentions and also what the consequences of my actions will be. What makes it worse is that I have panic attacks anyway, which are exacerbated if I'm hungover - and I often have to have a glass of wine to calm myself down the next day. I've got one now. It's strange because I hardly ever drink during the week - I used to have a glass or two of wine in the evenings but I knocked that on the head when it became too much of a habit - so it's not like I crave it when I don't have it. It's affecting my relationship with my husband because he's sick of hearing the excuses and recriminations the next day, and I don't blame him in the slightest. In all other aspects of my life, I am sorted, settled and happy, and this is the one thing (apart from the panic attacks) that I really hate about myself and want to change.

I would never have thought in a thousand years that I would have to come onto a forum like this but I would really like some advice from people in the same boat. I would appreciate any words of wisdom!

Thanks.

stone

I think that is what makes us different to 'normal' drinkers Sorcha.

Welcome to the forum. Please stick around and read and post.

1withaloha

Gosh your story takes me back......This disease is a killer! I couldn't stop drinking or taking pills....no matter how bad I felt or how much I threw up....I had NO control. I hated myself......That was 174 days ago....I asked 4 help (very hard to do 4 me) but it was the only way. I don't want to preach so I'll just say life is sooooo much better! Living rather than existing and being sick. Please keep sharing and getting it out....It takes alot of courage!!!!! Just keep an open mind.....Take Care

LibertyorDeath

Here's your oar and life vest. We ARE in the same boat!

Read on and you will find a lot of help. I know I did. I am three weeks sober and I owe a good part of my success, thus far, to this site.

You are in the right place! I wish you the very best.

Liberty~

suki44883

Welcome, sorcha! SR is a great resource of support. Really wanting to stop drinking is the first step. There are several people here who have done it and I'm sure they will be along to tell you how they did it and what they experienced. In the meantime, read the stickies at the top of the forum. There is some good information there on what you can expect.

Good luck to you...and once again, welcome to SR!

CarolD

Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me to quit.
Blackouts are explained on #17.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Welcome to our recovery community...

Rowan

Welcome. I couldn't stop once I started either. Didn't matter what the consequences were. I'd convince myself that the next time would be different. It never was.
I had to seek out help, and I'm glad that I did.
I hope you stick around.

Daddio

Wecome Sorcha. You have found a great place to share your life and get some cheap advice. The support is outstanding as well.

You should check out the My Stroies section of this forum. Some awesome reading inthere. You will find that everyone here is seaking one common thing. Sobriety.

Stay with us and keep us posted.

Daddio. 49,568,804 sober heartbeats - and counting..

Sorcha

Just to say thanks for all the messages so far, it's nice to know that there are people out there you can talk to who won't judge you and who know how you're feeling. I really appreciate it.