Hope

I'm struggling to let go of things I can't change. It is overwhelming my mind and causing so much anxiety. My anxiety level has been through the roof the past 2 weeks.

How do I let go?

ANGELINA243

Have you tried prayer/meditation......or writing in a journal about your feelings. Getting it out somehow--whether on paper, computer, or by making a simple phone call and speaking to someone who understands might help. Have you ever been on any meds for anxiety? How long prior to the past 2 weeks has this been going on?

Hope

I start my summer classes tomorrow and I'm all sad tonight.

I got slapped with more consequences of my past actions. I can't get school money for next year ( yet). I am trying to find other avenues now since my original plan didn't work out.

I'm scared that I've totally ruined everything I had planned for my life.

Hope

Things were going really well in my life for a while. The consequences of my past finally caught up to me and it's crushing me.
Plus the guilt of it all has finally caught up. I seemed to be on a pink cloud at the beginning of my recovery but the pink cloud has faded into the real deal of life.

I accept the responsibility of my past actions. It's just that it's all a mess now and I'm overwhelmed by it all.

Most of the time I can control the anxiety. But lately it's a lot for me to deal with.

I started exercising again and trying to take better care of my physical health. Maybe that will help the anxiety and stress.

ANGELINA243

Your past will eventually catch up to you. (It did with me.) As far as the school--what avenues have you already tried--financial aid..etc? All isn't over or lost. Don't try to clear away the "wreckage of the future' today. You don't know what will happen tomorrow. Focus on today--what you can do about your situation today. Maybe you should get some rest tonight and concentrate on getting to your class early tomorrow--then take it from there. Have you prayed about it? Do you pray? If so, I believe that if you just do the best that you can do with what you've got, then the God "of your own understanding" can handle the rest. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other--and stay sober>just for today.

1963comet

Yes, I had issues with this to. You can try some reading in SMART recovery. There is reading on Behaviors, Emotions and how to deal with them.

Not trying to get you to change programs but thought this was helpful to add to what you are doing.

There is a link here in programs.

Hope

I found out that my financial aid application for grants was denied because I didn't earn enough hours last year.

Then I applied for a student loan with my grandma as a cosigner and it was denied because my addict uncle stole all of her credit cards and racked up thousands of dollars of debt in her name and she is overloaded.

I'm so close to graduating and my world has crumbled now.

I have been so worried that I haven't prayed as I should.

I have been trying to control everything on my own and as a result of that, I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and it's tiring. I'm going to practice "turning it over" and then stop trying to take it back.

Katecan

I have a severe problem with the same issue Hope4life. I'm so frustrated because in my mind/heart if we all let go, we that are good, evil can take over. No what I mean? We have some responsibility to do something or everything can fall. That's my big struggle. I need to get strong enough to fight.

Satan is trying to beat the crap out of me right now.

Hope

I wrote out a plan for tomorrow. I am going take a shower and get some sleep.

I can't figure everything out in one night. I'm just going to get some rest and focus on my class tomorrow.

I am going to start keeping a journal.

Hope

There's a book by Joyce Meyer called "Battlefield of the Mind". I got the book and workbook but I haven't read it yet. Maybe it's time to dig it out.

Maybe it's really a one day at a time thing in dealing with all of this stuff too.

Baby steps... it still takes us somewhere.

Katecan

I'm thinking there's a reason we are being challenged right now.

Dee74

you beat me to it Cheryl...this, like anything else, is one day, one step at a time. We can do it - just sometimes not in the way or the timeframe we thought we would.

Kate I don't believe in a God/Satan dichotomy myself but I appreciate what you're saying. You're obviously a woman of faith - so long as we don't work against ourselves, have faith that things will work out

D

Hope

I can't sleep tonight.

Dee74

I have no advice on insomnia LOL.

Worry's a pretty useless thing tho - we can't change tomorrow yet anymore than we can change yesterday.

Try your best to chill out - do whatever it is you usually do to relax, maybe?
D

least

neither can i ia m so worried about going to rehab tomoorw, i hope it' tomorrow. i cant wait to getthere. i want to start over. i unsderstand you r anxieity. it's racking my brain also. i lay down with my dogs for reliefe.

marle

You can always get a job and go to school part time. It may take you longer to graduate but you will get there. It took me 8 years to get my degree because I did not want a crapload of school loans and I had to pay for everything myself and work full time too. You can do anything if you really want it. Sending hugs and prayers that things work out for you. Marle

Honu

You said your plans haven't worked out. Depending on your beliefs, let the "God of your understanding" handle the details. Maybe there is another plan that is better, and you should just let yours go, and see what happens?

Just do the next right thing, do what you can, be proud that you've done all you can, and then, see what happens.

Letting Go is a great thing, if we can just wrap our brains around it. I think that this is one thing that challenges all of us.

Honu in Japan for now.

gravity

Hi Hope,

Perhaps focus on the good things that are going on in your life today. You are sober, starting your college classes, and exercising (I'm sure there is more but I picked these out from your posts). Sometimes, I go through the day thinking about everything I have to be grateful for and I honestly get overwhelmed (In my mind, I can't keep up with everything I have been blessed with ).

Everything does happen one day at a time. Do your best and everything will fall into place...for me, this is a big part of "turning it over". If it takes a bit longer to graduate, so be it - happened to me. In the grand scheme of things, it worked out for the best and I didn't give up (had people helping me too - school counsellors).

AA step 4/5 really helped me deal with most of the guilt about the past. Journaling helps me keep things in perspective. I look at things I had written in the past that were causing me stress and 99% of them were resolved in a good way - I now trust that this will happen (eg. why worry about something when it will work out for the best anyway). Exercise helps me deal with the stress as well.

Focus on your recovery and doing that to the best of your ability. One thing I tell myself when I am feeling stressed is that the only thing I have to do perfectly today is not pick up that first drink, everything else will be fine.

Take care.

Tazman53

Start out with a simple prayer asking for guidance in letting go, followed by meditation.

Now sit down pen in hand and write down what is bugging you the most at this instant, nothing more!!! Now slowly say the serenity prayer, then look at that single problem and ask your self is there is anything you can do to change it?

If there is something you can do to change it grab another piece of paper and write down what you need to do and when. If there is nothing you can do about it write it down on another sheet of paper, grab an empty shoe box, put that slip of paper in it, close the box and write on the lid of the box "God Box"!

Now you have done for this instant everything you can do about that issue! You have either identified the action you can take or you have turned it over.

It is now time to continue.....

1. Write down what is bugging you the second most at this instant, nothing more!

2. Slowly say the serenity prayer, then look at that single problem and ask your self is there is anything you can do to change it?

3. If there is something you can do to change it grab that "Action" piece of paper and write down what you need to do and when. If there is nothing you can do about it write it down on another sheet of paper, grab your God box, put that slip of paper in it and close the box!

Repeat steps 1 through 3 until you feel enough is enough. Now pick up your God Box and put it in a safe place. Next take that first list and quickly look it over, written down it is no where near as big as what it seemed when it was spinning around in your head is it? Throw it away!!!

I learned when I did my 4th step that when I wrote things down they were no where near as plentiful or as bad as they were when they started to spin around snowballing in my head, keeping them in my head they grew from a mole hill into a mountain!

Now pick up your Actions list, this is it, that is all you can do and as a result it is the only things you need to be concerned about! Ahhhhh but now you need to have a look at it and see what actions you can take today, do them! Now you have no worries until tomorrow which is not here yet so for today, you are worry free.

Tomorrow pick up the "Actions List" and repeat until it is complete.

Sounds to simple to work, but if you want to see proof it works a year from now open up that God box and see how many of those things you were worried about today that you could not change are no longer worries.

Hope

Thanks for all the great responses. It really helped.

I had insomnia last night so I didn't get sleep but after I got out of class, I went home and got some sleep. Still feel tired but I'm not as anxious as I was yesterday.

Somehow I feel everything will work out okay.