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signs of a drinking problem

Old 05-12-2008, 09:43 AM
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signs of a drinking problem

i have been in recovery for a while now, i completed treatment at a rehab facility 2 years ago and there is one thing i have never understood. why is drinking by yourself an indicator of having a drinking problem?? when i was drinking i did drink by myself and when people would point that out i never understood what the problem was. everything else i have a good understanding of and am curious if anyone can explain it to me. thanks
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Old 05-12-2008, 10:09 AM
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I think it has to do with the idea that 'social drinking' is acceptable, therefore drinking alone is not.

It doesn't really make a lot of sense.
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Old 05-12-2008, 10:22 AM
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i'm not an alcoholic, but i heard someone say at an open meeting once that he drank alone as part of hiding his problem - kind of like stashing booze around where people can't find it. or putting it in coke cans to disguise it.
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Old 05-12-2008, 02:53 PM
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Maybe the odd drink alone, on the odd occasion isn't an indicator of a prob no, i guess it's how u look it though. For me personally my exp of drinking alone was getting drunk alone. I do not think this is something the normal drinker would do (not often anyway)- and yet it is something i have heard many alcoholics did. I did this regularly at the end of my drinking esspeically. I did it to escape - not to simply 'unwind' ( with a couple) as i went way past that point, drank loads and would get wasted. I dont think 'normal' drinkers would reguarly get drunk alone to escape a racing mind, worries, self pity etc - as i did. I can only speak for myself here, and what i interpret it as. Maybe simply 'drinking alone' is too general. I don't think that alone indicates alcoholism. From what i have learnt in AA so far, Alcoholism is a combo of things. Interesting thread though, cheers e1c - got me thinking!
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Old 05-13-2008, 05:45 PM
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i asked my friend(non alcoholic) and he said that when you drink alone it is more about the alcohol and the effects versus being with people and being social where the focus is more on being with people then the alcohol itself. i mean i can see it from that point of view as well. interesting.
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Old 05-13-2008, 05:56 PM
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I found that I got drunker faster in a social setting than I did when drinking at home.
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Old 05-13-2008, 06:07 PM
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No one would, or could keep up with me. Therefore, I could drink more alone, and also, no one would ever know, so I could think (subconsciously?), "if no one knows, it didn't happen..."

I could hide it, if no one knew.

I got bored with people who would go out and have drinks, and then, they'd quit, order dinner, or go home...when I was just getting started! So, I have preferred for a few years, to drink alone. Yep, I agree it is a problem. Or, for me, it became the problem.

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Old 05-13-2008, 06:20 PM
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I think that drinking alone may, and I repeat may, indicate a more advanced stage of the disease.

When drinking is still social and part of an activity that draws us towards people, we are still functioning as a social being. As the disease advances however, driving and engaging with others becomes more difficult. We become more aware that we are not acting "normally." We fear, and perhaps rightly, that others are aware that we are not normal. Our guilt and shame exacerbates this, I think.

The above represents my progression. I rarely drank in public, and avoided activities that would "interfere" with my drinking. I didn't want to smell of alcohol with friends and family, slur words, etc. I could drink and fall asleep whenever I wanted. Leave the empties around until morning.

I am convinced that alcoholism is primarily a social disease. It's most profound effect is the impact it has on our ability to interact and function in society. Relationships of all kinds suffer. It becomes easier to hide than to engage with others.

Just my take. I think the adage is correct. It was with me.

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Old 05-13-2008, 06:56 PM
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Welcome and Good question, I really think it falls back to quantity. When I was at my bottom, I wasn't just drinking alone, but I was getting drunk, passing out and starting to drink again all by myself.

Just like drinking a beer with friends doesn't indicate a problem, but 20 beers with friends may point in that direction.

Hope that helps.
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Old 05-13-2008, 06:56 PM
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The response about drinking alone is more about the booze - is spot on. In my sobriety, I try to explain to people that in the past (when I was guzzling 60 ounces a day of vodka alone in my place) all events were planned with alcohol at the center and everything else had to fall in where it could. Booziocentric as I call it. Nine times out of ten my hooch heavy brain would tell me stay put and avoid people.

Now that the hooch is out of my life I see it as just some fringe thing that is out there. I can and do go to bars to hang out with my friends and I am ok with that. For a while anyway. Until the smoke gets to thick and the blabble talk begins. Then I may as well be speaking to a Borg. They also make fun of my $1.75 bartab for the Diet Coke with Lime.

I just wonder if I am doing the right thing for me by doing that. I don't know know if there are any right answers. Maybe it's just whatever is right for us as individuals.

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Old 05-13-2008, 07:15 PM
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I thought it was because I ran all of my friends off and nobody would drink with me.
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Old 05-13-2008, 07:24 PM
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Well...
I rarely drank by myself...only when getting ready to go out
or eventually for stopping the A.M. shakes.
2 drinks did the job.

I ..never hid bottles as I lived alone.
No one questioned my consumption or fussed at me.

I had a job...an apartment...friends and money.
I still looked healthy and had no DUI's or arrests.
My family are non drinkers.

So... why am I an alcoholic?
Regardless of the external factors

Because my brain and liver enzymes quit
processing alcohol correctly.


....Welcome to SR!
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Old 05-14-2008, 03:17 AM
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When I started drinking I was a grad student, living alone 3,000 miles from friends and family, under lots of stress, frightened and anxious. I drank with fellow students, in bars, at parties, etc., but what I really loved was getting drunk almost every night in my lonely apartment. As in Tennessee Williams' line, I loved working up to a certain time, then sitting down, listening to music, and drinking until I "heard the click." I loved the click, when all my worries, anxieties, fears, stress, etc., would go away. And night after night, week after week, it worked every time. Until it didn't "work" anymore.

Why would anyone want other people around when you're having a serious conversation with alcohol?

Bob
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Old 05-14-2008, 06:55 AM
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Well I am an alcoholic, my first years of drinking were social drinking, of course I drank more then anyone else and when every one was finished drinking if I had not had enough I would go home and finish what I had started.

Do normal drinkers go home and drink more alone after everyone else has left?

The last 5 years of my drinking I spent hiding in my garage drinking alone for a lot of reasons, I did not want to listen to my wife and kids gripe about me drinking all the time, I did not want anyone to know how much I really drank, I drank alone because other people thought I was odd because of how much and how often I drank, I drank alone to where no one would interfere with my drinking. When I drank alone it was all about me and the booze.

My life revolved around drinking and people did not factor into my drinking equations.

I know my wife who is not an alcoholic and my first wife who is not an alcoholic never drank alone...... never!!!!

I know non-alcoholics read these threads, perhaps they could chime in as to whether they ever drink alone.
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:21 AM
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signs of my drinking problem - wanting to take sexy back, oh and driving drunk
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Old 05-14-2008, 07:42 AM
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I always drank alone, except at wine tastings. I was/am always alone. I used it for anxiety instead of klonapin. I realize, without the wine, how crazy anxious I am. But I feel like the klonapin (prescribed by doc - I take less than she prescribes) is not much better than alcohol. It's addictive.
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