Doing alright, drinking a lil, but coping and living life alright
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I hope I didn't come accross like you are a failure or don't belong! I sure didn't mean to.
I responded before your more recent post. I went drunk to meetings for about 6 mos before I got sober 6 mos after quiting going to meetings. I drank my way through outpatient treatment (and paid the whole bill myself). I wanted sobriety, I just didn't think It would ever happen for me.
I'm not sure what changed, but I believe those calls to AA, a temp sponsor (and yes I was drunk everytime we met and lying about it - don't recommend that) helped me to reach a point of hope entering my life.
Let us know how it goes.
I responded before your more recent post. I went drunk to meetings for about 6 mos before I got sober 6 mos after quiting going to meetings. I drank my way through outpatient treatment (and paid the whole bill myself). I wanted sobriety, I just didn't think It would ever happen for me.
I'm not sure what changed, but I believe those calls to AA, a temp sponsor (and yes I was drunk everytime we met and lying about it - don't recommend that) helped me to reach a point of hope entering my life.
Let us know how it goes.
Helping Others, Helps Me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 481
but i am scared to call, but i think this is the only time i am able to ask, and then meet up with him on Tuesday
number is busy...SHIAT
i really thing people like stop posting after a bit tho, it sucks......
number is busy...SHIAT
i really thing people like stop posting after a bit tho, it sucks......
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
MM
You are getting replies because people care. We are taking time from our lives to show it.
Your initial posts seemed very genuine. That's how you got on my "friends" list. You seemed like you were in a world of hurt.
You then seemed to exchange humility for hubris. When people responded to you sincerely, you "played" their sincerity.
OK. You are young and you are cool. Uniquely cool. I know none of us has ever been young and cool.
It isn't a matter of whether you drink or not. It is a matter of what you are here for. If you are just fine with where you are, that's OK. If I were happy just the way I am, I would find this place either very boring or a threat to my comfort zone.
Get humble and you will surely receive an outpouring of support, regardless how many times you stumble. Play people however, and they will not be eager to join the game.
Best to you,
warren
You are getting replies because people care. We are taking time from our lives to show it.
Your initial posts seemed very genuine. That's how you got on my "friends" list. You seemed like you were in a world of hurt.
You then seemed to exchange humility for hubris. When people responded to you sincerely, you "played" their sincerity.
OK. You are young and you are cool. Uniquely cool. I know none of us has ever been young and cool.
It isn't a matter of whether you drink or not. It is a matter of what you are here for. If you are just fine with where you are, that's OK. If I were happy just the way I am, I would find this place either very boring or a threat to my comfort zone.
Get humble and you will surely receive an outpouring of support, regardless how many times you stumble. Play people however, and they will not be eager to join the game.
Best to you,
warren
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Hey Magic,
It's hard to read your posts and empathize with you because you don't sound or act like you want to get sober. You are asking for community, which is reasonable, but do you know where you are? We are all, each and every one of us, really, really trying to get and stay sober. And you sound like you want to live both ways - in the community of sober people but still blowing off the things you need to do to get and stay sober.
Honesty is key. The question of whether or not you tell your parents. Of course you do if you want to be sober.
Courage is key. Humility is key. Asking someone to sponsor you is a really important thing to do. Talking about it, getting drunk over it, doesn't make it happen in any way. Just do it.
You are scared. I get that. I'm terrified a lot of the time. I'm kind of nervous right now because I'm not sure that I won't make people angry (including you) with this response. But I've got to say it any way. But getting over FEAR is a huge, huge part of getting sober for me. Fear is the biggest block to sobriety for me. And it doesn't go away. But that doesn't mean you let it rule your life.
And I have one last thing: You have no right whatsoever to drink and drive. I don't care how many of us have done it. It is never the right thing to do. And your casual attitude about it is unbelievable. It's as if you are wanting to mess up so bad that you kill someone else and then you can feel sorry for yourself when you go to jail for it. If you do nothing else, if you take no other steps toward sobriety ever, you need to get it in your head that you are basically shooting a loaded gun into a populated neighborhood when you drink and drive. Stop acting like you know that you can drive when your drunk and its any kind of injustice when you got your DWI. Many of us thought we could drive. But we couldn't, can't and won't. And we get it now. So when you come here and act like it's no big deal and you probably did fine - I feel really angry at you.
I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start making some serious change. And I think you know that. So do it.
God I'm mad. Maybe I'll be nicer when I log back on later. I've got to go cool off.
It's hard to read your posts and empathize with you because you don't sound or act like you want to get sober. You are asking for community, which is reasonable, but do you know where you are? We are all, each and every one of us, really, really trying to get and stay sober. And you sound like you want to live both ways - in the community of sober people but still blowing off the things you need to do to get and stay sober.
Honesty is key. The question of whether or not you tell your parents. Of course you do if you want to be sober.
Courage is key. Humility is key. Asking someone to sponsor you is a really important thing to do. Talking about it, getting drunk over it, doesn't make it happen in any way. Just do it.
You are scared. I get that. I'm terrified a lot of the time. I'm kind of nervous right now because I'm not sure that I won't make people angry (including you) with this response. But I've got to say it any way. But getting over FEAR is a huge, huge part of getting sober for me. Fear is the biggest block to sobriety for me. And it doesn't go away. But that doesn't mean you let it rule your life.
And I have one last thing: You have no right whatsoever to drink and drive. I don't care how many of us have done it. It is never the right thing to do. And your casual attitude about it is unbelievable. It's as if you are wanting to mess up so bad that you kill someone else and then you can feel sorry for yourself when you go to jail for it. If you do nothing else, if you take no other steps toward sobriety ever, you need to get it in your head that you are basically shooting a loaded gun into a populated neighborhood when you drink and drive. Stop acting like you know that you can drive when your drunk and its any kind of injustice when you got your DWI. Many of us thought we could drive. But we couldn't, can't and won't. And we get it now. So when you come here and act like it's no big deal and you probably did fine - I feel really angry at you.
I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start making some serious change. And I think you know that. So do it.
God I'm mad. Maybe I'll be nicer when I log back on later. I've got to go cool off.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
MagicMan,
When I stopped drinking, I knew that honesty was going to be crucial to my recovery. I had learned to lie as a very small child, in order to protect myself in my family. I continued to lie as I grew up, though I was not yet drinking. It was as if I was trying to hide myself from myself.
Recovery opened my eyes to the need to be honest with myself first of all, and then with other people.
Doing whatever it takes to get sober, was a necessity for me. And, yes, I was very scared, and I think all of us are when we start out in recovery. But, you can do it!
When I stopped drinking, I knew that honesty was going to be crucial to my recovery. I had learned to lie as a very small child, in order to protect myself in my family. I continued to lie as I grew up, though I was not yet drinking. It was as if I was trying to hide myself from myself.
Recovery opened my eyes to the need to be honest with myself first of all, and then with other people.
Doing whatever it takes to get sober, was a necessity for me. And, yes, I was very scared, and I think all of us are when we start out in recovery. But, you can do it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
MLE-I have to say I agree with what you said. You always articulate your thoughts so beautifully.
MagicMan-I know you're working towards something here, and sometimes words typed on a message board do not always come across they are intended. I do hope you find the answers you are looking for. If not here at SR then elsewhere..just as long as you find them.
P.S. My 20 year old cousin thought she was alright to drive to and hit a semi truck head on going 70 miles an hour going the wrong way down the highway. She broke almost every bone in her body, and at 20 years old she cannot walk and we don't know if she'll ever walk again. By the grace of God no one else was injured by her actions. It broke all of our hearts that we almost lost her, it has been just devastating to our family. If you don't want to drive straight for yourself, do it for your family, friends and other people out there on the road. Please?
MagicMan-I know you're working towards something here, and sometimes words typed on a message board do not always come across they are intended. I do hope you find the answers you are looking for. If not here at SR then elsewhere..just as long as you find them.
P.S. My 20 year old cousin thought she was alright to drive to and hit a semi truck head on going 70 miles an hour going the wrong way down the highway. She broke almost every bone in her body, and at 20 years old she cannot walk and we don't know if she'll ever walk again. By the grace of God no one else was injured by her actions. It broke all of our hearts that we almost lost her, it has been just devastating to our family. If you don't want to drive straight for yourself, do it for your family, friends and other people out there on the road. Please?
Helping Others, Helps Me
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 481
i know thats why i get teary eyed in these spots, i had a friend of mine kill himself years ago, and my brother was injured............you know its like i know i will effect a lot of people if i do this.....but no way....i wanna live my life....you know! DAMN!
I'ma soul survivor, I'm far from a crook.
I'ma soul survivor, I'm far from a crook.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
"i wanna live my life....you know! DAMN!"
I understand where you're coming from here, but you're not invincible my friend. Consequences, when they hit us, are almost always unexpected. I just don't want to read on here that something bad happened to you or anyone else, for that matter.
I understand where you're coming from here, but you're not invincible my friend. Consequences, when they hit us, are almost always unexpected. I just don't want to read on here that something bad happened to you or anyone else, for that matter.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 33
you know its like i know i will effect a lot of people if i do this.....but no way....i wanna live my life....you know! DAMN!
You want to live your life??? Fine. Don't friggin kill people in the process of you living your life though. You think the person that you smash into doesn't want to live there life???
One of my good friends that I knew from childhood got killed by a drunken driver. He went through a hell of a lot of pain before he died. He was his parents only son. He was a wonderful person and everyone loves him very much. He was young, about 25. He had his whole life ahead of him. Then his life got ruined because a** thought they were ok to drink and drive.
What the hell is wrong with you??? Grow the hell up and get your friggin act together.
Let go, let God.
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 244
MagicMan, please...before you pick up, put those keys away!!! It is your life, you can decide for yourself, YOURSELF, you have know right to decide for others and that's what your doing when you get out on the roads. 
Praying for you and any others that may end up in your path.
Praying for you and any others that may end up in your path.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Originally Posted by MagicMan08 
i know thats why i get teary eyed in these spots, i had a friend of mine kill himself years ago, and my brother was injured............you know its like i know i will effect a lot of people if i do this.....but no way....i wanna live my life....you know! DAMN!
I'ma soul survivor, I'm far from a crook.
I'ma soul survivor, I'm far from a crook.
Magic,
Teary eyed?
I hate to break it to you but you are a crook. That's precisely what you are at this moment. Your addiction is lying to you and trying to give you some kind of sick props for being some kind of rebel. Like there's honor in what you're doing. But you are listening to the wrong muse.
Here's the definition of a crook:
1. a dishonest person, esp. a sharper, swindler, or thief.
2. Slang. to steal, cheat, or swindle.
You are being dishonest not only with others but also (and more importantly, because it all starts here) with yourself. If you can't absorb that, I feel for you. I want you to succeed. I want you to get sober. But I don't think you will until you get brutally honest with yourself. And maybe it starts with small doses of honesty. Maybe it doesn't all happen at once. But you have to start somewhere, Magic.
Maybe you should start with something simple, like: Drinking and driving is morally wrong. Your desire to reserve the right to drink and drive is incredibly self-centered. You should make a solemn oath to never do it. And you should find the strength inside yourself to not do it when you're drunk.
That's a pretty simple truth. It's not really debatable. You're a smart guy. And you say you want to do better (admittedly at the same time that you profess that you really don't want to do any better and you just want the right to live your life). I think you can do this. What do you say??
It's just the tiniest step toward a more honest life. Away from being a crook. Toward sobriety. The smallest step.
- MLE
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
You are afraid to make a phone call? Imagine the fear you will experiencel when you wake up in jail for vehicular manslaughter. Walk through your fear and make that call. You are playing with fire and WILL eventually get burned. It is only a matter of time and you know it. Don't take the risk. Drinking and driving ruins lives.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
sorry for not having been able to get to you sooner, my internet was playing up during the past few days.
so. my goodness gracious me. what's gotten into you P? you'd given me the impression you were allot more rational and self-controlled then i am, and as a result i admired you for that. trying to argue it's ok to drink and drive? that's out of charecter for you. i'm surprised.
i used to drink and drive too. fortunatly i never killed or hurt anybody. i had a few accidents but, thank God, always on my own.
it scared me allot to think wake up in the morning and think "i can't remember where i went last night. but i knew i was out. and my car's here. so i must have droven it back. anything could have happened and i can't remember it!". sometimes i'd even have to check if there was any blood or dents or anything on my car just for peace of mind. it's scarey and dangerous.
a few months ago somebody forwarded me and email with pictures of the effects of drink and driving. their was one girl who was so disfigured she no longer looked human. that had such an impact on me i forwarded it to all my friends and i said if ever i went back to drinking i'd no longer drink and drive. a few weeks later i slipped and was behind the wheel again. it's weird how we can be forgetful at times.
about the dude you want to be sponsord by. call him drunk if you feal more relaxed talking to him that way. i hate talking on the phone too. lol.
so, how are you today my friend?
so. my goodness gracious me. what's gotten into you P? you'd given me the impression you were allot more rational and self-controlled then i am, and as a result i admired you for that. trying to argue it's ok to drink and drive? that's out of charecter for you. i'm surprised.
i used to drink and drive too. fortunatly i never killed or hurt anybody. i had a few accidents but, thank God, always on my own.
it scared me allot to think wake up in the morning and think "i can't remember where i went last night. but i knew i was out. and my car's here. so i must have droven it back. anything could have happened and i can't remember it!". sometimes i'd even have to check if there was any blood or dents or anything on my car just for peace of mind. it's scarey and dangerous.
a few months ago somebody forwarded me and email with pictures of the effects of drink and driving. their was one girl who was so disfigured she no longer looked human. that had such an impact on me i forwarded it to all my friends and i said if ever i went back to drinking i'd no longer drink and drive. a few weeks later i slipped and was behind the wheel again. it's weird how we can be forgetful at times.
about the dude you want to be sponsord by. call him drunk if you feal more relaxed talking to him that way. i hate talking on the phone too. lol.
so, how are you today my friend?
Last edited by Captain Kirk; 05-14-2008 at 02:19 PM.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
effects of drink driving (not pretty pics)
Random Citations: Jacqueline Saburido, a Victim of Drunk Driving Accident
Random Citations: Jacqueline Saburido, a Victim of Drunk Driving Accident
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
how's it going P?
did you call your main man?
i was just thinking about you while i was making dinner (does anybody else have dinner at 2am?), about the drink driving thing. you already have one DUI you have to go to court about soon, right? i'm sure that must worry you, but think of it as a blessing.
a couple of weeks before i dystroyed my car (that's no secret around here. i've been moaning about it long enough for everybody to know) the sheriff called me into his office. he knew i was drinking and driving so he yelled at me for 5mins then asked me what he should do. i told him to rest assured it wouldn't happen again. 2 weeks later i totalled my Porsche if the sheriff had of took my licence away there and then maybe now i'd still have my car.
so that got me thinking. i guess you must love your machine as much as i loved my Porsche, right? if you're still drinking and driving how would you feel if you were to total your car? not very happy i'd say. and that would be the best case scenario.
could you live with yourself if you were to hurt or kill somebody else? could you even live with yourself if you had to pass the rest of your life in a wheel-chair?
look after yourself my friend.:ghug3
did you call your main man?
i was just thinking about you while i was making dinner (does anybody else have dinner at 2am?), about the drink driving thing. you already have one DUI you have to go to court about soon, right? i'm sure that must worry you, but think of it as a blessing.
a couple of weeks before i dystroyed my car (that's no secret around here. i've been moaning about it long enough for everybody to know) the sheriff called me into his office. he knew i was drinking and driving so he yelled at me for 5mins then asked me what he should do. i told him to rest assured it wouldn't happen again. 2 weeks later i totalled my Porsche
if the sheriff had of took my licence away there and then maybe now i'd still have my car.so that got me thinking. i guess you must love your machine as much as i loved my Porsche, right? if you're still drinking and driving how would you feel if you were to total your car? not very happy i'd say. and that would be the best case scenario.
could you live with yourself if you were to hurt or kill somebody else? could you even live with yourself if you had to pass the rest of your life in a wheel-chair?
look after yourself my friend.:ghug3
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