Thanks to Responders to my First Post
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Boynton Beach
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Thanks to Responders to my First Post
TODAY: Slept better.
I want to thank those who responded to my first post Friday. Meant to check in sooner, but, stuff… I hope it was a good mother’s day for all. Mine (87) is in a nursing home and had a debilitating stroke a week ago. I’m 55. Day four sober. Actually, the thought of booze right now is not appealing if not nauseating. Been wondering if I’m in some kind of detox/withdrawal. I have felt just as lousy upon waking as with a hangover. Will this pass? I must think I’m clever; one of my sayings is: “A hangover is only slightly worse than sobriety.” I still feel that way
Everyone’s triggers are different I suppose. I have been way overdoing it for about 4 years. Since last fall my schedule has allowed me to be free many early afternoons so that means the “home bar” may have been open as early as 2pm. That has meant a lot of scotch and/or beer mostly.
Actually in my case, having none is easier than having one. Triggers? I smoke. And smoking and drinking seem to go together like milk and cookies. I have always drank but not like the last few years. Before that, once or twice a week, occasionally bingeing. The other thing is I used to fancy myself a writer. I did write. Big deal. So I was Ernest f---ing Hemingway. So the drinking was part affectation.
About mid-2004 I was metaphorically left at the altar for the first of two times by the same woman. Second time, shame on me. She revealed herself to be a pathological liar but it was my fault for trying a second time. The second time was January, 2006. In July ’06, I was hospitalized for atrial fibrillation (a heart irregularity). I looked it up. Excess alcohol consumption can cause it. In October ’06, I lost a high-paying job (not because of the drinking; concealed thge hangovers quite well). I exhausted unemployment compensation before I found something else: adjunct instructor at a local community college last August. An adjunct receives very low pay with no benefits. I exhausted 18 months of COBRA and am now paying for an individual plan at $630 per month. In January, ’07, my son (now 26 and disabled; I have been divorced for 8 years) was severely ill for three months and I almost lost him. He is doing much better and he lives with me. I have been in a platonic relationship with a nice southern lady for two and a half years. I am not teaching until the fall. With other resources at hand, I can squeak by.
Having the summer off is dangerous. More free time (to drink). Perhaps I picked a challenging time to stop.
I promise I will not repeat these sad tales. Allow me to ask again, on the third, fourth days is feeling lousy physically normal?
While I will admit to having a cynical view of things, one valid coping strategy is humor.
Finally for this entry, my philosophy can be distilled down to this: Life is 97% ridiculous. It’s the 3% which allows us to go on. It consists of giving and receiving love, meaningful work (something that makes a difference), and the appreciation of beauty in art and nature. Too much to ask for? Sometimes it seems everything is too much to ask for.
JD (Joe)
I want to thank those who responded to my first post Friday. Meant to check in sooner, but, stuff… I hope it was a good mother’s day for all. Mine (87) is in a nursing home and had a debilitating stroke a week ago. I’m 55. Day four sober. Actually, the thought of booze right now is not appealing if not nauseating. Been wondering if I’m in some kind of detox/withdrawal. I have felt just as lousy upon waking as with a hangover. Will this pass? I must think I’m clever; one of my sayings is: “A hangover is only slightly worse than sobriety.” I still feel that way
Everyone’s triggers are different I suppose. I have been way overdoing it for about 4 years. Since last fall my schedule has allowed me to be free many early afternoons so that means the “home bar” may have been open as early as 2pm. That has meant a lot of scotch and/or beer mostly.
Actually in my case, having none is easier than having one. Triggers? I smoke. And smoking and drinking seem to go together like milk and cookies. I have always drank but not like the last few years. Before that, once or twice a week, occasionally bingeing. The other thing is I used to fancy myself a writer. I did write. Big deal. So I was Ernest f---ing Hemingway. So the drinking was part affectation.
About mid-2004 I was metaphorically left at the altar for the first of two times by the same woman. Second time, shame on me. She revealed herself to be a pathological liar but it was my fault for trying a second time. The second time was January, 2006. In July ’06, I was hospitalized for atrial fibrillation (a heart irregularity). I looked it up. Excess alcohol consumption can cause it. In October ’06, I lost a high-paying job (not because of the drinking; concealed thge hangovers quite well). I exhausted unemployment compensation before I found something else: adjunct instructor at a local community college last August. An adjunct receives very low pay with no benefits. I exhausted 18 months of COBRA and am now paying for an individual plan at $630 per month. In January, ’07, my son (now 26 and disabled; I have been divorced for 8 years) was severely ill for three months and I almost lost him. He is doing much better and he lives with me. I have been in a platonic relationship with a nice southern lady for two and a half years. I am not teaching until the fall. With other resources at hand, I can squeak by.
Having the summer off is dangerous. More free time (to drink). Perhaps I picked a challenging time to stop.
I promise I will not repeat these sad tales. Allow me to ask again, on the third, fourth days is feeling lousy physically normal?
While I will admit to having a cynical view of things, one valid coping strategy is humor.
Finally for this entry, my philosophy can be distilled down to this: Life is 97% ridiculous. It’s the 3% which allows us to go on. It consists of giving and receiving love, meaningful work (something that makes a difference), and the appreciation of beauty in art and nature. Too much to ask for? Sometimes it seems everything is too much to ask for.
JD (Joe)
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