Stormy1119

ugh, not looking forward to this afternoon.

I still live at home. Mom has always been a teetotaler... drank one time in her life, overinduldged and never touched the stuff again. However before I was born my dad was a drunk, so she has dealt with the addiction before.

She knows I drink.. but I don't think she realizes how much. I kept it hidden well, though at times not as well as I probably thought.

After a stupid binge Monday night, I went back to AA. I choose a discussion meeting instead of a speaker meeting. There were several newcomers there so the meeting was spent on deciding to quit and doing the first step.

I choose to get my chip this time.. last time I wasn't real sure I wanted to do it.

Anyway, I thought I'd keep this from here. But I think in order for this to work like its supposed to I need own up to my actions and addiction.

i left her a note when I got home last night. I also laid my keys and chip by the note, hoping that maybe she would see the chip and at least have an idea of whats to come.

I just dont know what to say..what her reaction is going to be. I'm scared she is going to be mad.

hope45

As a mom, I know sometimes I get mad at my kids when they do something dangerous. I'm not really angry, it's just a knee jerk reaction when you're scared your child put themselves in danger or is going to be hurt. It's an emotion born out of love. So if she does get mad, keep that thought in mind.

Last Call

Why would she get mad?

If one of my kids told me they had a problem and were addressing it, I would try to be supportive. And I would probably share some unflattering family history regarding substance abuse.

Good luck!

MagicMan08

It is hard admitting to people that you are a drunk....says it right in the big book

wooforever

I think your mom maybe upset because you hide your drinking, but she should be proud of you for making the choice to admit you have a problem and your dealing with it.

I some people in their late 40's that still have not gotten as far as you have. Be proud of yourself and keep up the good work.

parentrecovers

i'm a mom and i was grateful when i found out about my daughter's addiction. fearful, but glad it was out in the open.

i hope your mom is supportive. just remember to be patient with her. she's most likely got some recovering to do as well. regardless, you can still keep working on your recovery.

perhaps offer to go with her to an open aa meeting? or suggest alanon?

hugs, k

ScoobaSteve

What I've found is that as long as I am on the right path and doing the best i can with what I have, then my parents are always very supportive. She doesn't need to know all of the horrible things you have done, just that you are struggling and that you are doing the right thing now!

My thoughts are with ya.
-Scooba

Toomutch

You mention that you live with your mom. In that case she more than likely knows that you are drinking. We may think nobody knows, but are only kidding ourselves.

The fact that you are seeking help will likely be a blessing to your mom.

Let us know how the conversation goes.

Stormy1119

Well I got that conversation over. It was a hard one, but went better than I expected.

She ask me if I wanted to go to an inpatient, but we don't have any funds for that and no insurance and I think I'll do fine just doing AA.

She told me she would be supportive and asked me about the meetings and what I was supposed to do.

It also opened up the door to talk about my dads addiction and how he stopped (he just quit cold turkey.. no programs..nothing..). THen she was telling me about how my brother went to AA when he stopped to. He's much older than me (I'm 24, he's 45), so I never knew he really struggled with drinking.

warrens

Well done Stormy. You sound far more "grounded" than before. There is a calmness and acceptance within your words that wasn't there before.

Admitting here and carefully setting up the dialog with your mother was a very smart move. I cannot help but think that it made you feel better and calmer despite the relapse.

You are moving forward, I think. You seem to be getting your emotional house in order for a sound recovery. Good luck and stick around.

warren

Anna

I'm glad it went well Stormy and now you've got your Mom's support.

ScoobaSteve

Sounds like the conversation went GREAT! I'm glad to hear that. Having your family as part of your support system is wonderful!

Toomutch

Stormy,
I had a feeling that the conversation would go well.
I am glad to know that you have that weight off of your shoulders and can now confide in your mom.

reed

why would she be angry with you for owning up and taking responsibility? I hope that would not be the case...best wishes...

Stormy1119

thanks. I don't know that we have an alanon in the area. I think I may take her to the saturday night open speaker so she can see what its all about.

the one thing i don' get when i talked to her today. At one point she said 'maybe your not an alcoholic'. of course flat out said 'yes, yes i am an alcoholic. when i drink i drink til i pass out or its gone. i'm an alcoholic'.

But I guess maybe she just wanted to hold onto that last chance that maybe i wasn't. i guess no one wants their daughter to grow up to be an alcoholic.

Then she said something about getting me tested for diabetes, she thought that may be part of my problem. i just had to smile and shake my head, i think she may be more in denial at this point than i am.

when i got home tonight she asked me if i had been to a meeting. I told her I had. She told me she was proud of me. I went out on the porch and cried. Its been a long time since I've done anything to make her proud of me.