kerinj

i don't want to ramble- but i was an IV meth user for six years and have been clean for five years, a little more really. i traded that for alcohol and pills. i have had ups and downs, times where i can "socially" drink- if there is such a thing- and i called that sober. my husband is incarcerated so it is hard right now. a little over a month ago i went on a binge and ended up in the hospital a couple of times in two weeks. i was so sick that i was having horrible withdrawls and a siezure. i realized i had to stop, which i have come to that conclusion before- but i know that i HAVE to this time because next time i might not make it. i have been sober for twenty five days today. i still have had some pills but those are gone now so it is getting a little tough- i have never been to rehab except for when i had a state funded vacation....i went to fed ans state prison but those groups we went to never helped. i am really ready to stop this. my husband is getting out in a year and he was still using IV drugs when he left. he wants to be done with it too, so i have to be strong for him. i also have anxiety and ocd which only compicates things. if anyone has any advice or words- please share because i need to know what things seem to help others. i rely on God- He has got me out of worse many times and i have faith He will continue to help me. i just know that if i go around my old friends, even the ones in recovery it is a trigger for me to relapse. thank you for your time and i would appreciate any help you could provide! God bless-

suki44883

I cannot stress enough the importance of going to a detox center. I know there are several people here who did it on their own; however, in a detox center, they have medications and round the clock care to help you get through the withdrawals. You will also have others around you going through the same things and you will find yourself bonding with many of them since no one is judging you and you can talk about your experiences with drugs and they will completely understand.

BUTTERFLY-7

Kerinj I'm sorry for what you are confronting
My advice to you is Talk to your Doctor tell him
what you just told us and he will guide you back
to the right proper treatment thats best for you
and then he could refer you to a Detox but before-
doing Detox, consult with a License Doctor
I'll Be :praying for you God Bless

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Good for you for staying sober for 25 days!

I try to do yoga to help with anxiety and I walk a lot. That helps too.

I hope you find something that works for you.

kerinj

thanks guys- i tired to get commited to the only "clinic" we have hear when all of this was going on- because i really knew i could not stop even though i was sick. but it is only for two days and they don't do anything to really help you at this place it is more for suicidal thoughts etc... which i don't have. i just know that i dont trust myself and i need to go to something that will actually help. i never found out what was wrong with me at the hospital the 2 time because they had given me alot of sedatives in my IV and for some reason i thought they were going to commit me somewhere i didn't want to go- so i pulled my IV out and left before the doc could get back. that sounds crazy but we do crazy things when we are in a state of mind like that. i am sure that is not the craziest thing i did in those two weeks which is frightening. i am not sure what kind of programs are available around here- upper texas- that you can still live at home and work, etc... i have been sober but i know that it can creep up on me at any time. i have been dealing with this for ten years, one addiction or another- and i am only twenty seven. i don't want this to go on for twenty seven more if i make it that long, which i won't if i keep using. thank you for the help- God bless you all

suki44883

You might check with your job and see if you can take family medical leave. They can't fire you while you are on leave. That's what I did while I was going through detox and while in a PHP program. I stepped down today to the IOP program and will start working half-days next Monday.

serenityqueen

Congratulations on your 25 days.

I'd like to thank you for sharing your story. So many individuals think that once they get off drugs for example, it's ok to have a drink now and then. I hated alcohol for years but soon became an alcoholic as well as an addict.Same thing happened to my sister, she wasn't one of the lucky ones. She died before she made it to treatment.

Are you going to meetings? That's the very first thing I will suggest. In the mean time, while you are going to meetings, call the local Salvation Army. If they don't have a program for you, I'm sure they have plenty of referals. I didn't have any insurance or money and I was able to find places to help me.

You have something wonderful in your life right now, Faith in God. So many addicts/alcoholics don't want to hear about God when they are struggling.

Keep posting with us, we're here for you 24/7. There's a great deal of love and support here as well as so many different lengths of Sobriety, personalties and people all over the world, literally, who share this common bond of addiction.

God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy

least

I can't add any more to what has already been offered. I wish you all the best and with treatment and support and God's love you can make your life better. :ghug3

barb dwyer

hi kerin - welcome!

Please feel free to check out the alcoholism as well as the substance abuse forums - there's many many links and suggestions in both. The stickies at the tops of each forums have links to other resources, maybe even close to you! I hope you're in touch with a doctor, or coming off alcohol with sometype of medical supervision?

You're not alone.

You might want to contact the NA in your area. I know that our AA program and group up here are familiar with the transferrence of addiction, but I don't know your area. Your best bet for f2f information and support is probably going to be NA, or AA. They are the most connected people you're going to find; and the price is right. Five years clean is a long long time- not many people are still around who can say that. Hang on to that accomplishment and take the next step.

I hope you'll continue to post ... congratulations on how far you've come!

kerinj

thank you guys for all the support- some days are just harder than others. i am taking it one day at a time. i guess that is all we can do
God bless (He does)

ImJulie

Hiya honey. Im so sorry you are dealing with the stuff you are.
A good place to look into for help and resourses is the Salvation Army.
Do you have one in your area?

CarolD

I strongly suggest you connect with your local AA.
You will find new sober friends there and be able
to get phone numbers of other women who can help.

Just go listen ..it's a great way to live sober.

Way To Go on your sober time

Welcome to our recovery community.

Tazman53

I totally concur with what Judy Shared:
I will share with you what I did to end 40 years of alcoholism:

1. Went to a doctor and followed his advice to go into detox.

2. Went into Detox and followed their advice to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor.

3. Went to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days, got a sponsor and followed thier advice and worked the steps with my sponsor

I continue to go to AA meetings, not every day now, but 3-4 times a week, I live the steps the best I can, I help other alcoholics get and stay sober, I sponsor people.

It has been 592 days since I found that I needed to have a drink, I am happier then I have been in well over 30 years, I am free of alcohol and I am free of myself.

You kicked the meth, if you follow the path I followed you can kick the booze and become a person you never dreamed you could become.

See a doctor, and go to AA & NA is what I would suggest, AA & NA are chock full of folks who have been where you are at today and have found a solution to thier problems and would love nothing more then to help you take the path they took.

kerinj

i go to a church where there are alot of people in recovery. i talked to several of them and they have NA next door to the church every day- also small groups. and a group called b-12 which is AA bible style. i know i have to stay focused because my problem is that i start feeling better and i have the tendency to "forget" just how sick i was. then i will do good and i am not sure how it happens- but it creeps back in and there is always that "i will just have one drink- i have been doing good...." and i know how that ends. so this time i have to remember how sick i was and remember all the people i hurt this time- and remember how hopeless i was. because i never want to feel that again. it gets scary. my family live right across the road and they are supportive- but with my husband gone it is hard to trust myself sometimes- i guess that is how you would put it. before he went to prison, i had two months sober. i had gotten really bad and he and i finally said that's enough. then two months later he went to jail and could not get out. i did well for about a month and then somehow it snuck back in on me and i have drank ever since then again. not always over the top- but lying to myself and others- calling something sober that was really not sober at all. i guess at that point my idea of "sober" was not getting so drunk that you black out and wake up in the morning drinking not to get sick. ( the reasoning of an alcoholic is not actual reasoning, i found out). so this last time made it very clear to me that if i continue to do this, i am going to die. not to mention pull the people i love through it again too. i hate to dwell on things but this is something that i NEED to dwell on because i have to keep it in perspective. thank you for your help. i truly apreciate it, and i truly need it. please keep me and my husband in your prayers. i pray that he will be delivered from his addiction and find the Lord- and come to love Him like i do. thank you again!