Whats it gonna be like?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Whats it gonna be like?
After waking up this morning and spending a few hrs thinking it over, i realized I'm just sick of it. Amazingly I'm not hung over, but I'm just tired of being this way.
Mom knows I'm hitting the bottle again too, she hasnt' said anything, but I can see the worry in her face. She had to know I drove to the liquor store last night, this morning she was about to take the little dog out(she hates him), so I could "sleep". Then she saw the vomit (that I don't remember puking) on the floor and I blamed it on the dog...
There were so many things I could have been doing last night that would have been a productive use of my time- like studying for my final thats in a couple hours, applying for jobs, cleaning, etc.
I'm just sick of this madness and insanity. No "normal" person has one teeny thing happen, drives 30 mile to the liquor store, and tries to polish over a 1L bottle of 92 proof rum. I've tried drinking responsibly, but hell that didn't last to long.
I'm not happy in my life right now. THe man I love is 2,500 miles away and we have no way to be together at the moment, but obviously drinking isn't getting me any closer to him.
so I'm going to an AA meeting today. I'm tryiing to go w/ a positive attitude and believe it will work. Anyway, what should I expect at this meeting. The choices for the local meetings today are Closed Discussion; closed speaker, and open speaker. Which should I attend?
Mom knows I'm hitting the bottle again too, she hasnt' said anything, but I can see the worry in her face. She had to know I drove to the liquor store last night, this morning she was about to take the little dog out(she hates him), so I could "sleep". Then she saw the vomit (that I don't remember puking) on the floor and I blamed it on the dog...
There were so many things I could have been doing last night that would have been a productive use of my time- like studying for my final thats in a couple hours, applying for jobs, cleaning, etc.
I'm just sick of this madness and insanity. No "normal" person has one teeny thing happen, drives 30 mile to the liquor store, and tries to polish over a 1L bottle of 92 proof rum. I've tried drinking responsibly, but hell that didn't last to long.
I'm not happy in my life right now. THe man I love is 2,500 miles away and we have no way to be together at the moment, but obviously drinking isn't getting me any closer to him.
so I'm going to an AA meeting today. I'm tryiing to go w/ a positive attitude and believe it will work. Anyway, what should I expect at this meeting. The choices for the local meetings today are Closed Discussion; closed speaker, and open speaker. Which should I attend?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
i think i've decided to go to the close discussion one at 5:30 and maybe the open speaker one that is later on tonight.
I think I would feel more comfortable if I sorta new what to expect... like how are the chairs gonna be set up (so I can sit in the least noticeable spot), will I be made to talk, will i have people approach me after the meeting. I just don't like walking into new situations anyway...
Also, how do I go about getting tested to see how damaged my liver is? Do I just call the doc and ask for a blood test? Do most docs prescribe antabuse if you ask? I know its not a solution, but i'm thinking maybe it will help.
I think I would feel more comfortable if I sorta new what to expect... like how are the chairs gonna be set up (so I can sit in the least noticeable spot), will I be made to talk, will i have people approach me after the meeting. I just don't like walking into new situations anyway...
Also, how do I go about getting tested to see how damaged my liver is? Do I just call the doc and ask for a blood test? Do most docs prescribe antabuse if you ask? I know its not a solution, but i'm thinking maybe it will help.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
You can just go see your regular doctor. Explain to him your dilemma. You can request bloodwork to be run--let him know your concerns...he will then decide which panel would be best. As far as meds--he will decide whether or not those will be needed at that time also. My doctor had to prescribe alcohol withdrawal meds for me cause when i stopped drinking>each time toward the end of my drinking days>I would always shake and have heart palpitations--he also ran a EKG while I was there to check my heart. Alcohol is a very deadly poison. You should seek a medical detox if you drink heavily on a daily basis or have ever had any severe withdrawal symptoms previously.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 521
Stormy, heres what to expect, sort-of:
You will be scared. You will probably want to run away. Tell that fear to go away and walk through those doors anyhow. You have some wonderful friends waiting inside, even if you havent met them yet.
The chairs might be set up in a circle (at a closed meeting). You wont be the first person to pick the chair closest to the door. Dont be surprised if someone is already sitting in it. Someone just like you.
There will be coffee. Likely, very bad coffee. But most of us drink it anyhow, cuz it gives us something to do with out hands.
My first meeting, I carried the stupid styrofoam cup all the way home before I realized I still had it.
You can say anything you want. Or you can say nohing at all.
If you feel a spurt of bravery, tell em all that its your first meeting and your scared.
If you get really scared....imagine all of us holding your hand.
Cuz we are.
You will be scared. You will probably want to run away. Tell that fear to go away and walk through those doors anyhow. You have some wonderful friends waiting inside, even if you havent met them yet.
The chairs might be set up in a circle (at a closed meeting). You wont be the first person to pick the chair closest to the door. Dont be surprised if someone is already sitting in it. Someone just like you.
There will be coffee. Likely, very bad coffee. But most of us drink it anyhow, cuz it gives us something to do with out hands.
My first meeting, I carried the stupid styrofoam cup all the way home before I realized I still had it.
You can say anything you want. Or you can say nohing at all.
If you feel a spurt of bravery, tell em all that its your first meeting and your scared.
If you get really scared....imagine all of us holding your hand.
Cuz we are.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Hi and welcome stormy . I don't do AA but I have been to a few meetings. What Julie described is pretty much how it is (in my limited experience). You will be fine.
I second what Angelina said about the blood work too.
. I don't do AA but I have been to a few meetings. What Julie described is pretty much how it is (in my limited experience). You will be fine.I second what Angelina said about the blood work too
.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Here is the best answer to that question I have ever seen. I sure wish I had read this before I went to AA:
Your First AA Meeting<
Your First AA Meeting<
ever closer...
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 361
Stormy
Today was my first AA meeting. I am sober 17 days and just wanted to be confident in my decision before I went to a meeting and got my hopes up just to be shattered again. This time is right. I am 39 yo and alcohol has made my life completely unmanagable!
I was scared to death going in. I didn't say anything but my name when we went around the circle. When they gave me my newcoer coin I started crying. All these feelings just flooded out. I was really at the meeting and this was really a group who cared for me and was here for me. After the meeting several women gave me their phone numbers and invited me to lunch after. Unfortunetly I had to get home. I wish i had been able to go.
Yes you will be scared but everyone is!!
BeingJenAgain
Today was my first AA meeting. I am sober 17 days and just wanted to be confident in my decision before I went to a meeting and got my hopes up just to be shattered again. This time is right. I am 39 yo and alcohol has made my life completely unmanagable!
I was scared to death going in. I didn't say anything but my name when we went around the circle. When they gave me my newcoer coin I started crying. All these feelings just flooded out. I was really at the meeting and this was really a group who cared for me and was here for me. After the meeting several women gave me their phone numbers and invited me to lunch after. Unfortunetly I had to get home. I wish i had been able to go.
Yes you will be scared but everyone is!!
BeingJenAgain
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,773
I don't go to AA meetings every day but I do go to some and like the people I find there. I've never encountered hostility or anything negative from the people there. MOstly they would come up to me, shake my hand, and introduce themselves. The first meeting I went to I introduced myself and said it was my first meeting and that I was kind of scared to be there. I got over that fear really quickly.
I also have phone numbers to call if I'm having a hard time. I do think it's been helpful to me, even tho I don't go to that many meetings.
Just remember that everyone there had their 'first meeting' and was probably as scared as you are. And just like everywhere else, you will get along better with some people than with others. Just like real life.
I wish you the best. Don't let yourself be too scared. THey're just people like you.
:ghug3
I also have phone numbers to call if I'm having a hard time. I do think it's been helpful to me, even tho I don't go to that many meetings.
Just remember that everyone there had their 'first meeting' and was probably as scared as you are. And just like everywhere else, you will get along better with some people than with others. Just like real life.
I wish you the best. Don't let yourself be too scared. THey're just people like you.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Stormy, I was scared, but once I walked into the room and sat down I felt pretty at ease. It was a laid back place and I did not feel uncomfortable at all. I was glad I walked through that door. The second meeting was a snap I walked in like I had done it many times before. LOL You have made a good decision. Hope it works out for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Just wanted to let everyone know that I went.
I tried going to the 5:30 meeting.. drove by the clubhouse 5 times, and kept chickening out. I stayed in town and finally found the courage to go to the 8;30 meeting.
It was open speaker. I sat by the door . THe speaker was young like me, when he told his story it was eerily similar to mine. I was amazed at how many young people there were in attendance. I didn't get my newcomer chip.. I was at the back of the room and just didn't want to walk to the front and have all eyes on me, but when I go tomorrow I plan on sitting near the front so maybe it won't be quite so scary to get up.
I tried going to the 5:30 meeting.. drove by the clubhouse 5 times, and kept chickening out. I stayed in town and finally found the courage to go to the 8;30 meeting.
It was open speaker. I sat by the door
. THe speaker was young like me, when he told his story it was eerily similar to mine. I was amazed at how many young people there were in attendance. I didn't get my newcomer chip.. I was at the back of the room and just didn't want to walk to the front and have all eyes on me, but when I go tomorrow I plan on sitting near the front so maybe it won't be quite so scary to get up.
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