...Back again and still haven't changed...Amy Winehouse, too...
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,787
Welcome back. What meetings are you going to? Sounds like you need to be going to NA meets. then keep going every day for 90 days, get loads of phone numbers and make a habit of aclling three members every day so that when you feel like using, its automatic to call a member, find a sponsor and ask (ask = ass saving kit) them to help you through the steps. DOn't be shy your life and your sanity is at stake.
Read the basic text, read at least a chapter every day. I am happy to talk to you Priavtely if you want help.
Kevin
Read the basic text, read at least a chapter every day. I am happy to talk to you Priavtely if you want help.
Kevin
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes
When I was in and out of Recovery, 25 years of hell to be exact, a very wise woman once told me that.
It took me many more years of going back out and almost challenging and daring death to take me. I honestly had wished it would. I was miserable. If I had a way to guarantee that my first serious attempt at suicide would work, I would have been dead years ago. I figured that I would fail at that too. I imagined myself as a vegetable in a nursing home, body unable to move, wearing a diaper, but still having the tapes that played in my mind reminding me what a piece of sh*t I was.
Then I realized, If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.
I had to humble myself, admit to my family that I had relapsed once again, (come to find out later that they already knew) go into detox, and when I got out, I did 180 + meetings in 90 days. If I could have brought a sleeping bag, I would have. I had to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. In the past, I knew all the slogans, I didn't need to read How it Works, the 12 Traditions or the Eleven Promises, I had them memorized. (Oh, how impressive I thought I was) But the bottom line, I didn't know the first thing about staying clean and sober.
I got a sponsor and worked the Steps harder than I ever worked anything in my life. My life depended on it. I was actually ready to do my 4th Step. It was time. However, I feared doing my 5th Step with her. I feared that I was that one person who would frighten her off by the things I did, the thoughts I had. Much to my surprise, she simply smiled and told me that she loved me.
I highly encourage you to return to AA/NA, find the peace of mind that I have found. How? Honesty, Open Minded and Willingness
Keep writing your songs. I write stories, poetry, sometimes just my thoughts and feelings scribbled down. It's a great way to express yourself.
God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy
It took me many more years of going back out and almost challenging and daring death to take me. I honestly had wished it would. I was miserable. If I had a way to guarantee that my first serious attempt at suicide would work, I would have been dead years ago. I figured that I would fail at that too. I imagined myself as a vegetable in a nursing home, body unable to move, wearing a diaper, but still having the tapes that played in my mind reminding me what a piece of sh*t I was.
Then I realized, If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes.
I had to humble myself, admit to my family that I had relapsed once again, (come to find out later that they already knew) go into detox, and when I got out, I did 180 + meetings in 90 days. If I could have brought a sleeping bag, I would have. I had to take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth. In the past, I knew all the slogans, I didn't need to read How it Works, the 12 Traditions or the Eleven Promises, I had them memorized. (Oh, how impressive I thought I was) But the bottom line, I didn't know the first thing about staying clean and sober.
I got a sponsor and worked the Steps harder than I ever worked anything in my life. My life depended on it. I was actually ready to do my 4th Step. It was time. However, I feared doing my 5th Step with her. I feared that I was that one person who would frighten her off by the things I did, the thoughts I had. Much to my surprise, she simply smiled and told me that she loved me.
I highly encourage you to return to AA/NA, find the peace of mind that I have found. How? Honesty, Open Minded and Willingness
Keep writing your songs. I write stories, poetry, sometimes just my thoughts and feelings scribbled down. It's a great way to express yourself.
God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy
tangled up in blue
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: MA
Posts: 401
I feel great today!! I went to work and although I have a cold, I am happy because I have been getting more hours. Tonight I am making fresh blueberry muffins to bring to my boyfriend. I have two days off, so I will be staying with him and I wanted to do something nice. I have also been reading "The Secret" by Ronda Byrne and making visual boards. Thank you all very much for listening and replying. 
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Originally Posted by xXBacktoBlackXx 
Wild Amy Winehouse could face arrest after 'attack on TWO men' while out on all-night bender | the Daily Mail[/url]
:sorry
Look at the pictures. A beautiful girl ruined...is that our future, too?
People have always said we look and act alike...I guess even now, too.
I snorted. I have to go to work in the morning...what a mess. =(
:sorry
Look at the pictures. A beautiful girl ruined...is that our future, too?
People have always said we look and act alike...I guess even now, too.
I snorted. I have to go to work in the morning...what a mess. =(
-----
The Rolling Stones
Exile on Main Street
-------
Robert Cray Band
--------
I snorted some splenda and it felt ohhhh goooood
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
I don't know this Amy Winehouse girl and have never heard her.
Maybe she's just trying to fit in with all the others that draw media attention to themselves.
I would caution against letting musical lyrics direct my life in any way. It just doesn't seem healthy.
Just my two cents of course.
Maybe she's just trying to fit in with all the others that draw media attention to themselves.
I would caution against letting musical lyrics direct my life in any way. It just doesn't seem healthy.
Just my two cents of course.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
You can find recovery.
However, it will take steps beyond just attending meetings. You have to get into action and work the program. Just having the knowlege without action will do you no good. Recovery is about action and it's hard work but it is so worth it.
Addiction gets worse. Way worse. It will lead to jails, institutions, and death.
Amy Winehouse has her own choices to make about her life and whether she wants recovery or not. Your choices are your own to make. I know you want recovery because you are here reaching out. Please don't ever give up. You can do this. You just have to take action and put the work into it.
I guarantee you that recovery will give you a life beyond your wildest imagination. If you work for it.
Hang in there and don't quit reaching out.
However, it will take steps beyond just attending meetings. You have to get into action and work the program. Just having the knowlege without action will do you no good. Recovery is about action and it's hard work but it is so worth it.
Addiction gets worse. Way worse. It will lead to jails, institutions, and death.
Amy Winehouse has her own choices to make about her life and whether she wants recovery or not. Your choices are your own to make. I know you want recovery because you are here reaching out. Please don't ever give up. You can do this. You just have to take action and put the work into it.
I guarantee you that recovery will give you a life beyond your wildest imagination. If you work for it.
Hang in there and don't quit reaching out.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 5
Thanks for your post Backtoblack. I know how you feel. I recently had a huge meltdown that involved an incident that I could never have imagined in my entire life. This was caused from drinking crazy amounts of alcohol and blacking out. When the situation ended, I thought of Amy Winehouse and was comforted in knowing that I was not the only out there who has this problem. I, like you, also want to stop but I can't. Some days I feel great and that I have control of it. Then I slip. And this was a major slip and I realize I don't have control over it. I don't know that I ever will.
This is a good forum though. And I just started posting here and I have gotten a lot of support from everyone. Keep your head up.
This is a good forum though. And I just started posting here and I have gotten a lot of support from everyone. Keep your head up.
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