WolfonPlain

Day 9 for me today.
Damn its hard today,ive been doing good,trying to do positive things like taking vitamins and going to meetings(7 out of 9 since i sobered).
Today I want to drink....i mean i REALLY want it,cant seem to get over this feeling that something is MISSING!One day at a time? yeah 1 at a time,and i will get through this day without a drink, but today it absolutely sucks and seems completely unfdair that i cant just be bloody NORMAL!!

22NGONE

Wolfonplain,

Why did you quit drinking? Really... Remember it and own it and you'll be o.k. If there is a problem you are having now that is bothering you and you drink, well you'll be a drunk with the same problem.

Call somebody and talk it out, or keep posting here. A run or working out works for me too but nothing works better than being honest with myself about why I stopped and really remembering it.

Remember, it's the first drink that does you in, not the last one. All you need do is not take that first drink.

Feeling it for ya,

John

22NGONE

p.s.

Sorry for part 2, Sadly we ARE NOT normal, we can't drink like social drinkers period.

I was at a meeting last night, my favorite, and an old timer said that a long time ago he was lamenting not being normal... He said an old timer took him aside, looked him in the eyes and said "One day, you'll be thankful you're in AA and not normal." The Old Timer then proceeded to note how his old "normal" acquaintances had suffered with their lives and died, largely sad and empty lives he said, because they didn't truly know how to LIVE. He said the AA way of life is a blue print for living a FULL and HAPPY life, and today he truly thanks God that's he's in AA and not NORMAL.

ImJulie

Hi Wolf.
Wanna know what has been working for me?
I prayed for my Higher Power to relieve me of the obsession.
My prayer goes something like this:
"Hey God...are you there? Its me...Julie. Please take away this obsession I have to drink today."
And thats it. Yup...its that simple.

vashti45

Wolf -- I'm sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. Can you get to another meeting or call someone? I echo the things that others have said--Julie's suggestion is a good one. If you don't have a Higher Power connection, then a sober friend is the best bet to help with cravings, IMHO. Take care and if you'd like someone to talk to and don't have someone to phone, PM me. I'm a newbie just a little ahead of you, so I'm not wise in recovery by any means, but I can relate to where you are.

Jana

bodychek

We are not normal. We have been given both a sickness and a gift. You have made the decision to stop drinking and are going to meetings and that is the start. I found that the obsession got easier for me when I went through the first 3 steps and surrendered completely. I felt that it was no longer my choice to drink even though I wanted to pick it up and try some "controlled drinking" one more time more than anything. I have experienced some comfort in realizing that the alcoholic animal living inside me is too strong for me to fight and that god is the only one who can combat it if I just get the hell out of the way. Good luck, I feel for you...

gravity

I know where you are coming from. I had days like yours earlier in my sobriety (I'm a little over 4 months sober). Do everything it takes to get through today. Keep working your program - meetings, sponsor & steps. Keep doing positive things. Work hard at it. You will get there. Today, my sobriety is strong & I feel good. I would never have believed it when I was on day 9.

I feel normal in the sense that I don't obsess over the next drink (or drunk) and I'm living a really good life without getting drunk (this is the way most people live). I don't even consider it to be abnormal to be a non-drinker. It's really no big deal anymore. And, for the most part, I enjoy my recovery efforts - meditating/praying, meetings, step-work, self-improvement, helping others. Regarding alcohol, I do have my off moments (it's not always blissful sobriety in my case ) but I have the tools to work my way through them. Best wishes.

Last Call

Hey. I have 27 days today. I have thoughts like this from time to time. But when I really analyze it, I don't want A drink, I want a dozen and thats just getting warmed up. Drinking normally doesn't do anything for me, except making me want to drink some more, a lot more.

So when I really look at it, I can drink "normally" and strengthen the obsession to drink. Or I can drink like I used to, get ripped, do stupid stuff, pass out, and feel like crap in the morning. Neither are good options. I guess I don't really want that drink.

9 days is great, keep it going.

LC

least

I've got 27 days too. When I get cravings, tho I don't get them as often now, I just get out my list of things I hate about drinking. I read it over and over and that does the trick. I remind myself why I quit in the first place and that I don't want to ever go there again. All the best to you.:ghug

WolfonPlain

thanks to everyone for your support.
i spoke with my sponser,i went to a meeting,i read some big book and i recited the serenity prayer over and over until it started to not sound so hollow in my ears.
Its now 11 PM and i am SOBER,made it through my hardest day so far,thx all!

Hevyn

A good thread, Wolf. I had those same feelings of something's missing for about my first month. I was resentful & sorry for myself - no more "TGIF" & all that. I did get over it - someone once said on here "Some things we just have to endure". No quick fix for getting through the withdrawal, we just have to trudge on through it.

I like what you said, 22NGone - in a way, we are better than "normal". We've danced with the devil and come out of it alive. In some ways I wouldn't trade my life for an ordinary one. Sure, I'd like to erase all the destructive things I did - but right now I am very happy with the person I'm evolving into.

mle-sober

That's wonderful!! Good job!

I thought 22NGone's & Least's ideas of focusing in on the original reasons why you stopped drinking were really good advice. I'm going to remember them and use them myself.

I'm almost 3 months sober and still feel the urge and the hurt that I can't drink. It feels like I was left by a lover. But what I feel now is nothing compared to how the first 2 weeks felt, like Steamvessal said. Those first 14 days are so hard. You're doing a great job. Know it gets better.

Katecan

Good for you (((WolfonPlain))). I'm so happy for you.