All I can say is to echo what the others have said. Very good advice and suggestions they've given you. I quit drinking cause I was afraid my daughter would move out if I kept on drinking. I hadn't been sober too long before I realized I really quit for ME. I wasn't just hurting my daughter, I was killing myself. And I can't be a good mother if I'm dead or disabled.

I also made a list of all the things I hate about drinking. Anytime I get 'the urge' to drink I read the list. It's kept me sober for 27 days and the longer I am sober, the less I want to drink.

Keep coming back. THis is a great safe and loving place. It's helped me a lot.

:ghug

Hi Goldfish,
My thoughts are that your partner's ultimatum is an attempt to fullfill a childhood craving to fix his alcoholic father, because he was unable to do it as achild, but was made to feel taht it was his responsbility. He was most likely attracted to you because you have what he regards as a `problem' and now he yearns for the payoff of `fixing you'.

I think it would be great for you give up drinking, but his ultimatum seems kind of self-motivated and driven by his upbringing. Its also not very realistic, as problem drinking and addiction have no `quick fix' like your bf desires.

With the help of councilling, I hope the two of you can work towards healing BOTH your issues- his need to fullfill his childhood yearning to quickly fix someone with a highlu complex problem- and your need to work out better ways to handle your feelings.

Good luck to you!