Sober Friday Nights
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 617
Now that it is starting to warm up & sunshine is starting to make a comeback, Friday night is a lot easier to be sober these days. SATURDAY afternoon/evening is another matter. I hear the little voice that goes, "What are you waiting for? The weekend's nearly over! You're running out of time!" And, in this one-horse town that I live in, you either have to grit (how I love that word!LOL), your teeth and get sober yourself or have a good friend/sigificant other to lean on. AS the saying goes, "an organization is only as good as it's people", and the AA here is HORRIBLE, filled with sexual predators & manipulators. But I am DETERMINED. Quit acid 20 years ago. Speed, 12 years ago. I even gave up weed five years ago-something I NEVER thought I would do or be capable of doing. Now, the final hurdle-alcohol. Six weeks now. Please pray for me. Thanks
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
Thanks everyone for responding. Hope you all had a good weekend. Friday night was fine. The Mist was great. Saturday night was bad. My husband ordered a pitcher of beer with dinner "just in case" I felt like drinking. Then brought home a 12 pack "just in case" I felt like drinking. I didn't even feel like it and I did it anyway. I don't know why. I know I'm responsible for my choices but I'm really angry at him right now. He says he likes me better when I'm not drinking then he tries to get me to drink. I have told him, if you just bring home enough for you to drink I will be fine because I know six beers isn't even worth my time to mess with but if you bring home a 12 pack then I get into trouble. He nods his head and says he understands and then brings home a 12 pack. Saturday night was horrible. Yesterday was horrible. Perfectly good weekend ruined by bad choices. By the grace of God go I, I must count yesterday as day one again. I'm in a horrible mood and really scared. Anyway just thought I'd share. Thank you for reading.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hi fallingdown,
I am very fortunate in that my wife supports what I am trying to do. She doesn't bring alcohol into the house or drink around me. She even doesn't drink when we go out to social events where alcohol is being served. It's all her choice as it's my alcohol problem, not hers. In the early days, the temptation may have been too much for me. I would be okay now if she has a drink when I'm around but again, thats her choice.
You will learn from your experience this past weekend, perhaps your own boundaries need to be set especially during your early recovery.
Try not to beat yourself up over this, just keep moving forward. Day one sober is way better than another day getting drunk, making yourself sick.
Best wishes!
I am very fortunate in that my wife supports what I am trying to do. She doesn't bring alcohol into the house or drink around me. She even doesn't drink when we go out to social events where alcohol is being served. It's all her choice as it's my alcohol problem, not hers. In the early days, the temptation may have been too much for me. I would be okay now if she has a drink when I'm around but again, thats her choice.
You will learn from your experience this past weekend, perhaps your own boundaries need to be set especially during your early recovery.
Try not to beat yourself up over this, just keep moving forward. Day one sober is way better than another day getting drunk, making yourself sick.
Best wishes!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Hon the important thing is you got back on the horse, now you need to focus on you and drop the word "Blame: from you vocabulary. When I drank the only person I could truly blame was me!
No one ever pinned me down, forced a funnle down my throat and poured beer in me. I had to pick the beer up and put it to my mouth and drink it.
I am not saying it would not be easier if your husband never brought the beer to the house, sure it would be, but life is life, we need to learn to not drink when it is there to drink. I have sat down in a bar and eaten dinner when I could not get a seat for an hour in the resteraunt, surrounded by booze and a bartender asking me if I wanted a drink every 15 minutes or less. The only person that can get me drunk is me, the only one that can keep me sober is me.
Perhaps the next time your husband brings home a 12 pack just go over and pur 6 of them down the sink!!! Who knows he may take a hint you do not want to drink.
As long as you drink what he brings home he will keep bringing it home, he is not to blame, he is not helping you, but he is not pinning you on the floor and forcing you to drink.
No one ever pinned me down, forced a funnle down my throat and poured beer in me. I had to pick the beer up and put it to my mouth and drink it.
I am not saying it would not be easier if your husband never brought the beer to the house, sure it would be, but life is life, we need to learn to not drink when it is there to drink. I have sat down in a bar and eaten dinner when I could not get a seat for an hour in the resteraunt, surrounded by booze and a bartender asking me if I wanted a drink every 15 minutes or less. The only person that can get me drunk is me, the only one that can keep me sober is me.
Perhaps the next time your husband brings home a 12 pack just go over and pur 6 of them down the sink!!! Who knows he may take a hint you do not want to drink.
As long as you drink what he brings home he will keep bringing it home, he is not to blame, he is not helping you, but he is not pinning you on the floor and forcing you to drink.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'm still mad but I know you're right. I don't think I have done enough to convince him that I am sincere. Looking back, I was arrogant on Saturday. I don't know why. I see now how certain moods/behaviors trigger drinking. And bringing the 12 pack home just added the last essential ingredient but I provided most of 'em. God it was punishing, when we go without drinking for a while and try to go back to the way we used to drink even for one night...it sure does hurt, I caught my poor body unawares and it did not appreciate the reminder. Thank you guys for your encouragement and suggestions, I'm going to keep my head up and try to be grateful for sobriety yesterday and today.
Much love,
fallin
Much love,
fallin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
I think the problem is that my husband doesn't get it and he's not ready to quit drinking. I have tried to get him to go to meetings with me so he can at least get an idea of what we are dealing with but he is not the least bit interested. I guess we learn who and where we can go to for support and I have to accept the fact that I cannot count on him for help right now no matter how many times he has sworn to help me, actions speak louder than words.
BTW McRibb..as a native Kansas Citian, I don't know about those Royals this season but GO JAYHAWKS!!!! I missed the last five minutes of that game and am still kicking myself for it, I hear it was legendary.
BTW McRibb..as a native Kansas Citian, I don't know about those Royals this season but GO JAYHAWKS!!!! I missed the last five minutes of that game and am still kicking myself for it, I hear it was legendary.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
Yeah, maybe that's part of the problem, maybe I'm more um...fun in a way when under the influence, although to me there's nothing less appealing than a sloppy drunk girl maybe he is still attached to that on some level. I dunno but I've thought about it.
I used to live right around the stadiums. I miss kc.
I used to live right around the stadiums. I miss kc.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
Originally Posted by Mcribb 
i live by the stadiums. I have to be honest though this thread is scaring me. Reading books, cooking, jeez BORING!
Let go, let God.
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 244
I can think of tons of things I always wanted to do but put off because I was drinking or sick from it.
One thing I want to do is get into gardening. Flowers, food etc...get some good books and learn all about this. I love the outdoors, fishing, going for walks in the bush trails, boating, swimming, laying on a beach suntanning (had to sit in the shade when I was hungover), golfing (always wanted to learn that sport), camping at isolated lakes. Do some volunteer work, I would look for something that helped kids, I know I would enjoy that. So many things I can now look forward to doing.
While drinking, I waisted alot of my days away sick from my evening drinking (stayed up too late). I want to start living during the day now. Fill up my days and rest at night. I think that's what we are supposed to do anyways. lol
Can't see anything boring about a life without alcohol. It was boring with it when I really think about it, same thing all the time
One thing I want to do is get into gardening. Flowers, food etc...get some good books and learn all about this. I love the outdoors, fishing, going for walks in the bush trails, boating, swimming, laying on a beach suntanning (had to sit in the shade when I was hungover), golfing (always wanted to learn that sport), camping at isolated lakes. Do some volunteer work, I would look for something that helped kids, I know I would enjoy that. So many things I can now look forward to doing.
While drinking, I waisted alot of my days away sick from my evening drinking (stayed up too late). I want to start living during the day now. Fill up my days and rest at night. I think that's what we are supposed to do anyways. lol
Can't see anything boring about a life without alcohol. It was boring with it when I really think about it, same thing all the time
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Boring??????
No boring is sitting in my garage drinking, boring is staying at home to drink because the wife and kids want to do something that I can not drink and participate in. The last 5 years of my drinking were looking back on it boring as hell, 90 percent of my time when I was not working or sleeping was spent in my garage drinking, listening to the radio and trying to do crossword puzzles.
Name me one single thing one can not do sober?
I can name a lot of things one can not do while drinking!
Oh yea one more thing, everything that I do today sober that I did while I was drinking I do better and remember it all the next day.
Sobriety is boring only if we choose to make it boring!
In the BB of AA it states that:
For those who worry about sobriety being boring these passages I can attest to being true!
Would it not be boring sitting in prison for vehicular man slaughter?
Would life not be boring if we have driven off every single person who cares about us because we are to busy having FUN being drunk instead of being a friend, a lover, a Parent, a child, or a good worker?
No boring is sitting in my garage drinking, boring is staying at home to drink because the wife and kids want to do something that I can not drink and participate in. The last 5 years of my drinking were looking back on it boring as hell, 90 percent of my time when I was not working or sleeping was spent in my garage drinking, listening to the radio and trying to do crossword puzzles.
Name me one single thing one can not do sober?
I can name a lot of things one can not do while drinking!
Oh yea one more thing, everything that I do today sober that I did while I was drinking I do better and remember it all the next day.
Sobriety is boring only if we choose to make it boring!
In the BB of AA it states that:
We have been speaking to you of serious, sometimes tragic things. We have been dealing with alcohol in its worst aspect. But we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them.
So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we bust into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness. Outsiders are sometimes shocked when we bust into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.
Would it not be boring sitting in prison for vehicular man slaughter?
Would life not be boring if we have driven off every single person who cares about us because we are to busy having FUN being drunk instead of being a friend, a lover, a Parent, a child, or a good worker?
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Boring??????
No boring is sitting in my garage drinking, boring is staying at home to drink because the wife and kids want to do something that I can not drink and participate in. The last 5 years of my drinking were looking back on it boring as hell, 90 percent of my time when I was not working or sleeping was spent in my garage drinking, listening to the radio and trying to do crossword puzzles.
Name me one single thing one can not do sober?
I can name a lot of things one can not do while drinking!
Oh yea one more thing, everything that I do today sober that I did while I was drinking I do better and remember it all the next day.
Sobriety is boring only if we choose to make it boring!
In the BB of AA it states that:
For those who worry about sobriety being boring these passages I can attest to being true!
Would it not be boring sitting in prison for vehicular man slaughter?
Would life not be boring if we have driven off every single person who cares about us because we are to busy having FUN being drunk instead of being a friend, a lover, a Parent, a child, or a good worker?
No boring is sitting in my garage drinking, boring is staying at home to drink because the wife and kids want to do something that I can not drink and participate in. The last 5 years of my drinking were looking back on it boring as hell, 90 percent of my time when I was not working or sleeping was spent in my garage drinking, listening to the radio and trying to do crossword puzzles.
Name me one single thing one can not do sober?
I can name a lot of things one can not do while drinking!
Oh yea one more thing, everything that I do today sober that I did while I was drinking I do better and remember it all the next day.
Sobriety is boring only if we choose to make it boring!
In the BB of AA it states that:
For those who worry about sobriety being boring these passages I can attest to being true!
Would it not be boring sitting in prison for vehicular man slaughter?
Would life not be boring if we have driven off every single person who cares about us because we are to busy having FUN being drunk instead of being a friend, a lover, a Parent, a child, or a good worker?
Word. I am just find it boring because I am 27 and single. If I had kids and a wife then obvouisly I would be spending time with them. I find it boring to me It is a sacrifice though I need to make so I don't end up yellow and sick all the time
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Whoa! Falling Down - You're husband is seriously sabatoging you!! What he did , from my perspective, is in tolerable. I'm just me and I have only my own expereince to go from but.... you have every right to be angry at him and for him to pretend he's not absolutely trying to get you to drink, is just a straight out lie.
Can you tell I'm outraged for you? I'm sorry if I'm going ovre board but ... let's put it this way. What if you were suicidal and he put a loaded handgun on the kitchen table, "just in case." That's what it looks like to me.
I don't know what the dynamics are that make him want you to drink but also make him want to pretend that he doesn't want you to drink - but he's sick. And I don't think you should have totolerate it.
Maybe he gets to be the one in control if you drink, maybe he gets to "fix" you if you drink. Maybe he gets to be the good one and you are the bad one if you drink. Whatever it is, he's invested in you drinking.
I'm sorry that he did that to you. I am sorry. That sucks.
Can you tell I'm outraged for you? I'm sorry if I'm going ovre board but ... let's put it this way. What if you were suicidal and he put a loaded handgun on the kitchen table, "just in case." That's what it looks like to me.
I don't know what the dynamics are that make him want you to drink but also make him want to pretend that he doesn't want you to drink - but he's sick. And I don't think you should have totolerate it.
Maybe he gets to be the one in control if you drink, maybe he gets to "fix" you if you drink. Maybe he gets to be the good one and you are the bad one if you drink. Whatever it is, he's invested in you drinking.
I'm sorry that he did that to you. I am sorry. That sucks.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
