Wildkatz Updates.............
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Sorry I am not saying too much, it really hurts bad these days to use my left hand at all, I am just trying to push threw the pain, I will quickly fill u all in about the hand thing then I need HELP I NEED TO VENT I NEED ANSWERS.................I need E to understand......
1) I was yelling across my moms neighbors fence to bring me a knife ( I wanted my lilacs from mommas tree) next thing I know his dog bites my finger off, good friend I am dont report it know the dog and we are still not sure what happened we think he may of smelled baby girl on me she was in heat at the time.....I totally severed it off up to the first bone it was clean off, Amy would of been so proud of me not once while triging myself did I pass out and was still able to give E directions to the hospital.......go figure I knew I was strong and calm in crisises of the bloody type but that supprised even me in the hospital for 5 days I think it was.......had Surgery last Sunday ( skin grafts and a partial amp to clean it up) yes I call myself nubby right now......but I have a really big problem now I am terrified of dogs...........I just drop to my knees shaking and crying almost in a panic attack.......as for me and my baby, She KNOWS something is wrong and she is a love butt right now she doesnt know how to make momma better but she sure does try......
2) E and I are still together.......I want forever, however I dont think it will make it until next week with our very first couples counceling appointment.....
I am currently Manic, I havent been able to do the meds thing again.... I dont know what to do all I know is I cant even breathe right now..... We have had ppl calling the house pretending to be a female he has been with for the last few months it is a whole bunch of BS ( I Know this NOW) but that doesnt help when the BPD, PAWS, Depression, insecurities and all sorts of doubts creap into my mind......then I am screaming like a banshey and going off the deep end....
I thank my HP EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY day for this man, I just cant stand hurting him.....I am not physically hurting him but the emotional hurts are always worse than the physical......I just dont know what to do....But as I said we are together he says we are ok he just needs some space today.......what I think he is trying to say is he needs space period.....the WHOLE time I was in the hospital HE NEVER MOVED FROM MY SIDE!!!!!!!!
he was getting no sleep but wasnt leaving me alone knowing about the agoraphobia not to mention my fear of hospitals......this is after he just lost his daughter and now he too hates hospitals......
3)E asked me to watch a movie with him it is called " Girl, Interupted" AWSOME movie and it is all about ME!!!! I sware it was written off of my life.......... The Borderline Personality Disorder is the biggy..... I am fighting it 24-7.....I AM NOT SELF MEDICATING ANY LONGER.........I WISH I WAS BUT I AM NOT.....AND TODAY IS DAY 346.....what does it mean when you almost have a year and the only thing you truely want is a STRONG drink???? How do I acept the fact that I have a year clean and all I want is another 8 ball or a bottle of vodka??? I am trying to work MY program but I am so lost right now....... please dont tell me a meeting. I just cant yet......and I havent worked up the nerve to ask E to take me to one....
4) My baby( Nephew Sammy......the joy of my life......is in surgery right now I am terrified, yes Amy I need to understand this medical **** and E tries telling me but I just dont understand ----got to love a man who is pre med just for the explination theories!!!) was playing an after school football game( He plaies tight end and his football buddies and him were playing with no coaches and no gear on just a pick up game) he was hit both high and low and perilized from the shoulders down he has protiens going into the brain which are causing bleeding and swelling so at this moment he is having a hole drilled into his head to reduce the swelling or the bleeding.....not sure which and cant talk to them about it I cant quit crying when I talk to them.....AMY I PROMISE SOMETIME THIS YEAR WE WILL BE DOWN I MISS MY BABIES TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I NEED A BIG SIS HUG BADLY!!!!!
5) E and I have been getting me out of the house ( I have actually taken the bus 5 times already with only 1 attack I just focuse on E and nothing else, today should be fun! He isnt talking to me and I cant quit crying.......I can feel an attack comming on anyone else? well it is that time I have to go to my surgon, if u all dont hear from me it is because I am having problems with my skin grafts.......and they are taking stiches out today, at least I hope they are there is over 15 on the side of my hand and it hurts to use my hand and I just can't, I AM LEFT HANDED!!!!! Go figure.....I hope I can blog more tonight but guys..... I need some help big time with this bi poler, Boarderline personality thing..........I am trying to hold on just dont know what to do!!!!
I have missed you all greatly and I am so glad to be home again....... HI UNCLE RUSTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and Astro thank you for remembering......lol everyone forgets mothers day and my b day.......lol
God Bless love and keep u all!!!
Pamm
1) I was yelling across my moms neighbors fence to bring me a knife ( I wanted my lilacs from mommas tree) next thing I know his dog bites my finger off, good friend I am dont report it know the dog and we are still not sure what happened we think he may of smelled baby girl on me she was in heat at the time.....I totally severed it off up to the first bone it was clean off, Amy would of been so proud of me not once while triging myself did I pass out and was still able to give E directions to the hospital.......go figure I knew I was strong and calm in crisises of the bloody type but that supprised even me in the hospital for 5 days I think it was.......had Surgery last Sunday ( skin grafts and a partial amp to clean it up) yes I call myself nubby right now......but I have a really big problem now I am terrified of dogs...........I just drop to my knees shaking and crying almost in a panic attack.......as for me and my baby, She KNOWS something is wrong and she is a love butt right now she doesnt know how to make momma better but she sure does try......
2) E and I are still together.......I want forever, however I dont think it will make it until next week with our very first couples counceling appointment.....
I am currently Manic, I havent been able to do the meds thing again.... I dont know what to do all I know is I cant even breathe right now..... We have had ppl calling the house pretending to be a female he has been with for the last few months it is a whole bunch of BS ( I Know this NOW) but that doesnt help when the BPD, PAWS, Depression, insecurities and all sorts of doubts creap into my mind......then I am screaming like a banshey and going off the deep end....
I thank my HP EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY day for this man, I just cant stand hurting him.....I am not physically hurting him but the emotional hurts are always worse than the physical......I just dont know what to do....But as I said we are together he says we are ok he just needs some space today.......what I think he is trying to say is he needs space period.....the WHOLE time I was in the hospital HE NEVER MOVED FROM MY SIDE!!!!!!!!
he was getting no sleep but wasnt leaving me alone knowing about the agoraphobia not to mention my fear of hospitals......this is after he just lost his daughter and now he too hates hospitals......
3)E asked me to watch a movie with him it is called " Girl, Interupted" AWSOME movie and it is all about ME!!!! I sware it was written off of my life.......... The Borderline Personality Disorder is the biggy..... I am fighting it 24-7.....I AM NOT SELF MEDICATING ANY LONGER.........I WISH I WAS BUT I AM NOT.....AND TODAY IS DAY 346.....what does it mean when you almost have a year and the only thing you truely want is a STRONG drink???? How do I acept the fact that I have a year clean and all I want is another 8 ball or a bottle of vodka??? I am trying to work MY program but I am so lost right now....... please dont tell me a meeting. I just cant yet......and I havent worked up the nerve to ask E to take me to one....
4) My baby( Nephew Sammy......the joy of my life......is in surgery right now I am terrified, yes Amy I need to understand this medical **** and E tries telling me but I just dont understand ----got to love a man who is pre med just for the explination theories!!!) was playing an after school football game( He plaies tight end and his football buddies and him were playing with no coaches and no gear on just a pick up game) he was hit both high and low and perilized from the shoulders down he has protiens going into the brain which are causing bleeding and swelling so at this moment he is having a hole drilled into his head to reduce the swelling or the bleeding.....not sure which and cant talk to them about it I cant quit crying when I talk to them.....AMY I PROMISE SOMETIME THIS YEAR WE WILL BE DOWN I MISS MY BABIES TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I NEED A BIG SIS HUG BADLY!!!!!
5) E and I have been getting me out of the house ( I have actually taken the bus 5 times already with only 1 attack I just focuse on E and nothing else, today should be fun! He isnt talking to me and I cant quit crying.......I can feel an attack comming on anyone else? well it is that time I have to go to my surgon, if u all dont hear from me it is because I am having problems with my skin grafts.......and they are taking stiches out today, at least I hope they are there is over 15 on the side of my hand and it hurts to use my hand and I just can't, I AM LEFT HANDED!!!!! Go figure.....I hope I can blog more tonight but guys..... I need some help big time with this bi poler, Boarderline personality thing..........I am trying to hold on just dont know what to do!!!!
I have missed you all greatly and I am so glad to be home again....... HI UNCLE RUSTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY and Astro thank you for remembering......lol everyone forgets mothers day and my b day.......lol
God Bless love and keep u all!!!
Pamm
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Pamm)))
I can't FORGET your birthday, when I never knew when it was, silly!!
As for your nephew...are they putting in a shunt? They may intially just put in a drain to get the extra fluid off, but if it is going to be a permanent problem, they usually put in a shunt. It's a tube from the brain that goes into the abdomen...the excess fluid drains into the abdomen and is reabsorbed by the body. I knew a lot of patients that had them, since I worked in Neuro ICU and the shunts work well. Sometimes, they get clogged, but the patients always know what symptoms to look for, and it's easily fixed.
Hang in there sweetie. Remember, we are TOO TOUGH to go back to dope or alcohol. And when we AREN'T feeling so tough, we pray a lot and reach out to our friends, okay?
I could do the math, but I'm too lazy
When is your one year date?
I'm really proud of you! I know you're struggling right now, but you've struggled before and every time you get through it, you come out stronger. This isn't going to be any different.
Luv ya!!!
Amy
I can't FORGET your birthday, when I never knew when it was, silly!!
As for your nephew...are they putting in a shunt? They may intially just put in a drain to get the extra fluid off, but if it is going to be a permanent problem, they usually put in a shunt. It's a tube from the brain that goes into the abdomen...the excess fluid drains into the abdomen and is reabsorbed by the body. I knew a lot of patients that had them, since I worked in Neuro ICU and the shunts work well. Sometimes, they get clogged, but the patients always know what symptoms to look for, and it's easily fixed.
Hang in there sweetie. Remember, we are TOO TOUGH to go back to dope or alcohol. And when we AREN'T feeling so tough, we pray a lot and reach out to our friends, okay?
I could do the math, but I'm too lazy
When is your one year date?I'm really proud of you! I know you're struggling right now, but you've struggled before and every time you get through it, you come out stronger. This isn't going to be any different.
Luv ya!!!
Amy
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Location: Flint MI
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SO TRUE SISSY LETS PUT IT LIKE THIS NEXT TIME I START FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY FAMILY IE....MY NEPHEWS I WILL CALL MY BROTHER.......HE HAS SWELLING ON HIS SPINE.....HE PERFERATED( OR HERNIATED AINT TO SURE ON THAT EAITHER JUST YET) 3 DISKS AND THEY HAD TO REMOVE ALL 3 TODAY WHEN THEY WERE JUST GOING TO REMOVE ONE.....VERY SERIOUS STILL BUT NOT AS LIFE THREATENING AS I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE EARLIER......I AM GOING TO GET OFF FOR NOW WE TO SEE SURGON TODAY GOT GOOD NEWS( MYGRAFT IS TAKING WELL---I GUESS PURPLE IS A GOOD COLOR FOR THEM......GO FIGURE....AND MY STICHES ARE HEALING SO WELL HE WANTS TO TAKE THEM OUT AND IT HAS ONLY BEEN 10 DAYS SO THEY ARE STAYING IN STILL.....i ACTUALLY HAVE A FINGERNAIL IT IS A PAINFUL SON OF A B*%#&!!!!!!!! BUT IT IS THERE) THEY DIDNT AMPUTATE AS MUCH AS I HAD FEARED.....LOL ONLY DOWN TO THE TOP OF THE BONE BUT THERE WAS A LITTLE BIT OF MUSCLE DAMAGE THEY TOOK 4.5 INCHES OF SKIN OFF OUT THE OUTSIDE OF MY LEFT PALM, YEAH I AM A SOUTH PAW AND LIFE IS HELL, YOU KNOW IT IS LOVE WHEN YOUR MATE ONLY HAS ONE HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT FOR NOW ALL IS WELL IN MY SOUL I AM GOING OUT TO DINNER( UP THE ROAD TO THE DINER FOR MORE CHICKEN STRIPS........WE ARE VEGAN DID I TELL YAS?) WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FORGET ABOUT THE FACT WE ARE STILL SLEEPING ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR, HE'S NOT READY FOR US TO SLEEP IN THE BEDROOM( WE ARE STILL HAVING PROBLEMS W/ THE CHEATING THING WITH K, THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER JUST NOT FAST AS I WISH.......AND OH HOW I WISH!!!), OR THE FACT THAT THE ELECTRIC IS SUPPOSE TO BE OFF TOMARROW( I GOT AN EXTENTION UNTIL NEXT FRIDAY), OR THE FACT THAT WE BOTH NEED JOBS OR THE FACT I AM MANIC AGAIN AND TRY TO ENJOY US FOR A BIT AND BE ON A DATE WITH MY MAN.......LORD, I HOPE IT WORKS........DEEP BREATH...........AMY I WILL HAVE A TOTAL OF 365 DAYS ON JUNE 11,2008.....AND MY B DAY WAS THE 15TH BUT ALL IS GOOD.........LOL I DIDNT REALLY CELEBRATE IT.....MY BABY MADE ME MEAT LOAF......LOL( IT IS MY FAVORITE) AND THE REST OF THE NIGHT WELL, IT IS RATED GOOD FOR ME......LOL
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE MY YOUR HP'S PROTECT YAS!
LOVE,HUGS AND PRAYERS,
PAMM
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE MY YOUR HP'S PROTECT YAS!
LOVE,HUGS AND PRAYERS,
PAMM
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A Really Relaxing Evening We Are Both Really Tired And Worn Out But Much Better Off After Getting Some Time Out Of The House...........dont Think We Will Watch Ironman Tonite But Hopefully Soon......
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
Love And Hugs,
Pamm
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Fell Asleep Watching Iron Man........sorry I Didnt Think It Was All That..........lol
How Many Ppl Have Neropathy? What Do You Do To Get Past The Painful Days? Between That And The Depression It Is Killing Me!!!! Bbml All Going To Shrink With My E, Just Woke Him Up Not Going To Be A Good Day I Can C This After That Another Dr Then Bank Then Omggggggggggg This Is So Screwed Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!
How Many Ppl Have Neropathy? What Do You Do To Get Past The Painful Days? Between That And The Depression It Is Killing Me!!!! Bbml All Going To Shrink With My E, Just Woke Him Up Not Going To Be A Good Day I Can C This After That Another Dr Then Bank Then Omggggggggggg This Is So Screwed Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Location: Atlanta
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((Pamm))
Whenever I say "this isn't going to be a good day"...it isn't. But when I say "screw this, I'm going to have a good day IN SPITE of this"...it's okay. Sounds simple, but it works. Yes, some days are bad, but I still try to find something good to take the focus off the bad. It's all about attitude.
Now, when all that doesn't work, I just pray and know that "this, too, shall pass".
Luv ya!
Amy
Whenever I say "this isn't going to be a good day"...it isn't. But when I say "screw this, I'm going to have a good day IN SPITE of this"...it's okay. Sounds simple, but it works. Yes, some days are bad, but I still try to find something good to take the focus off the bad. It's all about attitude.
Now, when all that doesn't work, I just pray and know that "this, too, shall pass".
Luv ya!
Amy
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we slept in our bedroom last night.............ok dont soun d like much but almost 2 months on the living room floor because i refuse to sleep without him again is working....I love being in love with him, HE WENT TO MY DRS WITH ME YESTERDAY AND PERTICIPATED!!!!!!!!!
What does that mean, it means I didnt look at him once a nd I SPILLED LIKE I HAD DIAREAHA OF THE MOUTH!!!!!! I told her everything ( is it a good or bad thing when your psy dr starts crying because you just finally beg for help? She is awsome though and has me on new meds we are praying!) the mood swings the sleeping with someone else everything the depression the suicide attempts everything now mind you I told her I wasnt willing to not be medicated and told her i was ready for the hospital....thats when she knew i was serious and she just kept looking at E and telling him he is one in a million and the best thing that ever happened to me in my life, SHE THANKED HIM!
whew........
they took 3 disks out of Sammy's back, it was actually only a day surgery some what I aint quite sure bet you i find out when I talk to his dr again......lol
Just having a really good day.....and sis you are right.......I make myself have good days.......and it works.......lol
Love Hugs and Prayers,
Pamm
What does that mean, it means I didnt look at him once a nd I SPILLED LIKE I HAD DIAREAHA OF THE MOUTH!!!!!! I told her everything ( is it a good or bad thing when your psy dr starts crying because you just finally beg for help? She is awsome though and has me on new meds we are praying!) the mood swings the sleeping with someone else everything the depression the suicide attempts everything now mind you I told her I wasnt willing to not be medicated and told her i was ready for the hospital....thats when she knew i was serious and she just kept looking at E and telling him he is one in a million and the best thing that ever happened to me in my life, SHE THANKED HIM!
whew........
they took 3 disks out of Sammy's back, it was actually only a day surgery some what I aint quite sure bet you i find out when I talk to his dr again......lol
Just having a really good day.....and sis you are right.......I make myself have good days.......and it works.......lol
Love Hugs and Prayers,
Pamm
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Thanks Sis!!!!
I Am Just Loving My Life....i Am So Grateful To Finally Feel Like Not Only Do I Truely Have One But It Is Even Ok To Share It With Someone.....sorry We Are Having A Low Point At The Moent But Still My Eyes Are Shining......
How Have You Been Tanya??? I Hope All Is Well On Your Frount.....
Love Hugs And Prayers,
Pamm
I Am Just Loving My Life....i Am So Grateful To Finally Feel Like Not Only Do I Truely Have One But It Is Even Ok To Share It With Someone.....sorry We Are Having A Low Point At The Moent But Still My Eyes Are Shining......
How Have You Been Tanya??? I Hope All Is Well On Your Frount.....
Love Hugs And Prayers,
Pamm
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one day I will understand men and can actually read their minds........deep breath.....deeeeeeeeeee uncle rusty please i need a male input here.........stoneeeeeeeeeeeeee
are we just suppose to know what you want to do when you plan on fixing the whole house in one full shot????
am i suppose to know how to know that i was suppose to make sure where all of the leaks were before i got my drenched ass out from under the sink let alone i wasnt suppose to scream shut it off until i had found all the leaks???!!! deep breath
are we just suppose to know what you want to do when you plan on fixing the whole house in one full shot????
am i suppose to know how to know that i was suppose to make sure where all of the leaks were before i got my drenched ass out from under the sink let alone i wasnt suppose to scream shut it off until i had found all the leaks???!!! deep breath
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Thanks ( I Am Hearing The Sarcasem In My Own Voice As I Say This!), Now Hand Me Another Towel Cuse Once Again I Ducked Out Of The Way........lol
Ughhhhhhhhhh
Please Plumbers Step Up I Need Help But Then If I Get It Should I Tell Him What To Do................getting Flustereated And Dont Know What To Do..... Even Ordering Dinner Didnt Help He Started Going On About It After I Reminded Him We Had To Have Water For At Least The Toliet.....only One Shut Of Valve For The Water Not One For Into The Kitchen(wtf?!?!).....i Am Really Screwing This **** Up Though Dont Know What To Do Or Say He Is Flustered And Hurting As Am I So Came Up Here But Suppose To Be Down Finishing Clean And Unpack The Living Room..........just Dont Want To Argue Let Alone Start A Fight..........yes My Eyes Are Still Doing The Sparkeling Thing But The Bi!$h Is Really Starting To Come Out Again........
Hes Right Hes Right Hes Right A New Montra To Start Chanting Perhaps?
Thanks Dee Wanted To Know How To Habdle Him Being The Man Not The Plumbing Problem..........lol
Love Hugs And Prayers,
Pamm
Ughhhhhhhhhh
Please Plumbers Step Up I Need Help But Then If I Get It Should I Tell Him What To Do................getting Flustereated And Dont Know What To Do..... Even Ordering Dinner Didnt Help He Started Going On About It After I Reminded Him We Had To Have Water For At Least The Toliet.....only One Shut Of Valve For The Water Not One For Into The Kitchen(wtf?!?!).....i Am Really Screwing This **** Up Though Dont Know What To Do Or Say He Is Flustered And Hurting As Am I So Came Up Here But Suppose To Be Down Finishing Clean And Unpack The Living Room..........just Dont Want To Argue Let Alone Start A Fight..........yes My Eyes Are Still Doing The Sparkeling Thing But The Bi!$h Is Really Starting To Come Out Again........
Hes Right Hes Right Hes Right A New Montra To Start Chanting Perhaps?
Thanks Dee Wanted To Know How To Habdle Him Being The Man Not The Plumbing Problem..........lol
Love Hugs And Prayers,
Pamm
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OK SO HERE I AM WORKING MY STEPS SORT OF, YOU GUYS KNOW I DONT REALLY DO THE AA STEP THING,YOU KNOW THE MAKE AMENDS THING? WELL AS YOU ALL KNOW E KNOWS ABOUT THE OTHER GUY I WAS WITH WHEN WE WERE SEPERATED AND ALL WAS WELL.....WELL NOT NEARLY WELL BUT AS CLOSE AS COULD BE EXSPECTED, THE NIGHT HE CONFROUNTED ME ABOUT IT I LIED TO HIM AND TOLD HIM IT WASNT WHAT HE THOUGHT AND LONG STORY SHORT HE DOESNT TRUST ME, AND I CANT SAY I BLAME HIM AND AT THE SAME TIME I TOO HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT HIS FAITHFULNESS FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS.....TODAY ONE OF MY EX'S FROM OVER 15 YEARS AGO AND WHOM I ALSO PM HERE IN SOBER AND I GOT INTO IT BECAUSE ANOTHER LONG STORY SHORT I SENT MONEY TO COME GET ME AND WE WOULD GO LOOK FOR A PLACE TOGETHER AS ROOMATES ( CITUATION HERE THIS PERSON HAS SINCE HAD A SEX CHANGE AND ONLY GOOD FRIENDS!) THIS WAS JUST AFTER I LOVE THE BABY AND WAS LOSING MY MIND WITH THE DAMN SITUATION HERE.....
HE AGAIN IS ASSUMING THINGS I GUESS, HE TOOK BABY FOR A WALK ALL THE TIME NOT TALKING TO ME AT ALL, I ATE ALONE ( i COOKED BECAUSE I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG BUT DIDNT KNOW WHAT), HE BROUGHT BABY GIRL BACK THEN LEFT AGAIN ALMOST AT A DEAD RUN NOW HERE IT IS ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER HE CAME IN AND GOT RIGHT INTO THE SHOWER ONCE AGAIN NOT SAYING ONE WORD TO ME WTF?!?!?!?
HOW IN THE SAM HELL DO YOU GET TRUST BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP? I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY I ALREADY TOLD HIM THE COUNCELING SESSION IS A FREE FOR ALL BASICALLY I TOLD HIM I WOULD NEVER HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST HIM IN OUR SESSIONS......ALL I AM DOING AT THIS MOMENT IS PRAYING I SWARE IF I KNEW WHERE MY ROSERY WAS I WOULD BE PRAYING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCARED AND CONFUSED,
PAMM
HE AGAIN IS ASSUMING THINGS I GUESS, HE TOOK BABY FOR A WALK ALL THE TIME NOT TALKING TO ME AT ALL, I ATE ALONE ( i COOKED BECAUSE I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG BUT DIDNT KNOW WHAT), HE BROUGHT BABY GIRL BACK THEN LEFT AGAIN ALMOST AT A DEAD RUN NOW HERE IT IS ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER HE CAME IN AND GOT RIGHT INTO THE SHOWER ONCE AGAIN NOT SAYING ONE WORD TO ME WTF?!?!?!?
HOW IN THE SAM HELL DO YOU GET TRUST BACK INTO A RELATIONSHIP? I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL FRIDAY I ALREADY TOLD HIM THE COUNCELING SESSION IS A FREE FOR ALL BASICALLY I TOLD HIM I WOULD NEVER HOLD ANYTHING AGAINST HIM IN OUR SESSIONS......ALL I AM DOING AT THIS MOMENT IS PRAYING I SWARE IF I KNEW WHERE MY ROSERY WAS I WOULD BE PRAYING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SCARED AND CONFUSED,
PAMM
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I'm going to say this as gently as I can Pamm - go to counselling - go to as much counselling as you can get to.
I don't even pretend to understand your posts recently, but the way you live your life is frightening. I'm not angry or criticizing - but it's just a BS way to live.
D
I don't even pretend to understand your posts recently, but the way you live your life is frightening. I'm not angry or criticizing - but it's just a BS way to live.
D
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You Aint Ever L;ied Dee I Am He Left And Said After Our Session On Friday He Is Leaving I Am So ****** In The Head Right Now I Dont Know Up From Down....i Just Hurt That Is All I Know That In The Fact That I Want A Drink And No I Am Not He Would Leave The Second It Touched My Lips!!!! And Right Now That Alone Is What Is Keeping Me From Using It!!!!
Thanks Dee!
Pamm
Thanks Dee!
Pamm
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~****! I AM SO TIRED I CANNOT SEE STRAIGHT HE IS TRYING TO DO THAT I AM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU I WONT SLEEP WITHOUT HIM I WILL JUST WAIT UNTIL HE GOES TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH AND GO GET ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO HIM LIKE ALWAYS.....
I WATCHED A SPECIAL ON LIFETIME TONITE THAT H IT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ABOUT SEXUAL ADICTIONS.......I SAW SO MANY THINGS IN ME IN THAT SHOW...THE NEEDINESS, THEHOUSEWORK THAT WAS SO HUGE TO ME!!!!!! AS WAS THE DEPRESSION....I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT E SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I HAVE AS FAR AS MY BPD AND THE DEPRESSION, I JUST WISH TO GOD WE COULD GET A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING BESIDES FIGHT BECAUSE WHEN IT IS GOOD IT IS AWSOME, YES MY EYES STILL SPARKLE BUT I AINT LIKEING HIM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
pAMM
I WATCHED A SPECIAL ON LIFETIME TONITE THAT H IT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD ABOUT SEXUAL ADICTIONS.......I SAW SO MANY THINGS IN ME IN THAT SHOW...THE NEEDINESS, THEHOUSEWORK THAT WAS SO HUGE TO ME!!!!!! AS WAS THE DEPRESSION....I AM SO GRATEFUL THAT E SEEMS TO KNOW WHAT I HAVE AS FAR AS MY BPD AND THE DEPRESSION, I JUST WISH TO GOD WE COULD GET A CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING BESIDES FIGHT BECAUSE WHEN IT IS GOOD IT IS AWSOME, YES MY EYES STILL SPARKLE BUT I AINT LIKEING HIM SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
pAMM
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