Day 17 and I just discovered SR
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: wappingers falls, ny
Posts: 7
Day 17 and I just discovered SR
Good Afternoon All-
This lovely Monday has brought me my 17th day of sobriety.
I feel as though I am relatively young to have realized that I was an alcoholic. At 22, it is nearly acceptable to be drinking 5-7 nights a week and some nights to the point that you're blacking out and making a fool out of yourself and making bad decisions. There seems to be a joke/competition going about who can possibly become the most intoxicated and have the most "fun".
This "fun" becomes the cloak to hide reality behind. I consider myself a successful person for my age, and have set high, yet attainable goals for myself. I currently work in a police department as a civilian and am on the road to becoming an officer within the next year. Given the sights that are seen in a city environment as an officer, one can imagine the drinking that goes on here in order to blur the reality of the beasts we try to govern. Happy hour is a near daily experience and coming into work the next shift an still being able to blow a .12 or higher is something that is laughed about.
My work environment entails quite a high amount of personal stressors as well and directly work related. My personal life has left quite the scorned heart in my chest and an empty feeling elsewhere. Of course, the response to that, since I have been 16 has been alcohol. Every activity included alcohol of some sort. A case of beer was brought to every event, it was deemed the admission ticket.
After passing out 4 times while driving and blaming it on being "tired", all 4 times being extremely "lucky" (thank you upstairs), i had had enough. I refused to be a ticking time bomb of destruction, both on the road and in my life.
My friends are quite hard on me. They don't seem to understand why this is something I need to do, as my generation has deemed being a drunk as socially acceptable. I have begun to see true colors and have distanced myself from the people who are not willing to participate in activities that do not require alcohol, or continually offer me a drink when I do feel strong enough to go to a bar.
I know it will be a long road, one with upcoming hills, turns, and potholes that noone can remotely predict. I am, however, locked in a ready to take it on. I have always been a very competitive person, and for once, I get to take on the toughest competition: myself.
This lovely Monday has brought me my 17th day of sobriety.
I feel as though I am relatively young to have realized that I was an alcoholic. At 22, it is nearly acceptable to be drinking 5-7 nights a week and some nights to the point that you're blacking out and making a fool out of yourself and making bad decisions. There seems to be a joke/competition going about who can possibly become the most intoxicated and have the most "fun".
This "fun" becomes the cloak to hide reality behind. I consider myself a successful person for my age, and have set high, yet attainable goals for myself. I currently work in a police department as a civilian and am on the road to becoming an officer within the next year. Given the sights that are seen in a city environment as an officer, one can imagine the drinking that goes on here in order to blur the reality of the beasts we try to govern. Happy hour is a near daily experience and coming into work the next shift an still being able to blow a .12 or higher is something that is laughed about.
My work environment entails quite a high amount of personal stressors as well and directly work related. My personal life has left quite the scorned heart in my chest and an empty feeling elsewhere. Of course, the response to that, since I have been 16 has been alcohol. Every activity included alcohol of some sort. A case of beer was brought to every event, it was deemed the admission ticket.
After passing out 4 times while driving and blaming it on being "tired", all 4 times being extremely "lucky" (thank you upstairs), i had had enough. I refused to be a ticking time bomb of destruction, both on the road and in my life.
My friends are quite hard on me. They don't seem to understand why this is something I need to do, as my generation has deemed being a drunk as socially acceptable. I have begun to see true colors and have distanced myself from the people who are not willing to participate in activities that do not require alcohol, or continually offer me a drink when I do feel strong enough to go to a bar.
I know it will be a long road, one with upcoming hills, turns, and potholes that noone can remotely predict. I am, however, locked in a ready to take it on. I have always been a very competitive person, and for once, I get to take on the toughest competition: myself.
..We have a blast socially.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,509
Hi and Welcome!
I'm glad you found us and that you realize that recovery can involve making some hard choices - like removing some people from your life.
It sounds like you're doing well!
I'm glad you found us and that you realize that recovery can involve making some hard choices - like removing some people from your life.
It sounds like you're doing well!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by jkcowgirl 
Good Afternoon All-
This lovely Monday has brought me my 17th day of sobriety.
After passing out 4 times while driving and blaming it on being "tired", all 4 times being extremely "lucky" (thank you upstairs), i had had enough. I refused to be a ticking time bomb of destruction, both on the road and in my life.
This lovely Monday has brought me my 17th day of sobriety.
After passing out 4 times while driving and blaming it on being "tired", all 4 times being extremely "lucky" (thank you upstairs), i had had enough. I refused to be a ticking time bomb of destruction, both on the road and in my life.
Congrats on your sober time and it looks like you are strong on your path to sobriety...
I especially appreciated your definition of the "ticking bomb of destruction". This is painfully realized after out of control drinking...Alcohol is a destroyer of life...
Keep us posted on your journey...:ghug2
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: wappingers falls, ny
Posts: 7
thank you so much to all of you. your kind words have made my day.
i have not ventured towards AA. although it is not something that i wouldn't be interested in.
i do have some supportive of my decision, but most have not realized that i have made this a life decision. i think that they are looking forward to the day i pick up a beer and again join them in their antics.
people are not only in denial about themselves, but i swear they are in denial about my own problems as well, although as it has been stated before, i am the only one who can decide that i am an alcoholic.
where would i find some more information about AA? and does anyone have any suggestions as far as it? i would be entering that journey on my own, although i'm sure i would make great friends there.
thank you all again.
i have not ventured towards AA. although it is not something that i wouldn't be interested in.
i do have some supportive of my decision, but most have not realized that i have made this a life decision. i think that they are looking forward to the day i pick up a beer and again join them in their antics.
people are not only in denial about themselves, but i swear they are in denial about my own problems as well, although as it has been stated before, i am the only one who can decide that i am an alcoholic.
where would i find some more information about AA? and does anyone have any suggestions as far as it? i would be entering that journey on my own, although i'm sure i would make great friends there.
thank you all again.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Alcoholics Anonymous AA in New York Dutchess County -- Week at a Glance Hope this helps! :ghug3
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: wappingers falls, ny
Posts: 7
thank you for the AA info.
what is it really like? im somewhat nervous to head there alone and am not ready to bring someone with me yet...just looking for a heads up.
and thank you all for the words of encouragement. i cant stress how helpful they are.
what is it really like? im somewhat nervous to head there alone and am not ready to bring someone with me yet...just looking for a heads up.
and thank you all for the words of encouragement. i cant stress how helpful they are.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
For a first meeting--a Speaker meeting might be a good idea. That is where one person shares his/her story>what it was like, what happened, how things are like now (since being in recovery). You won't have to say anything, plus all are welcome---both alcoholics and non-alcoholics. Also--open meetings are open to both alcoholics and family/friends of loved loves as well>that may be a "open discussion" meeting. At any rate--you are never required to say anything at a meeting if you don't want to. Simply "Pass" when it is your turn to share. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7
Congrats, I'm in the same boat as you. It's really frustrating how most people our age are so harsh sometimes...
"They don't seem to understand why this is something I need to do, as my generation has deemed being a drunk as socially acceptable."
I relate to this so much, they make you feel like such an outcast for being sober!
I'm still in the stage of letting friends know what I plan to do. I don't feel I have as much courage as you do. I would like to just ignore them and not return calls but I know that is a childish way to do this... How did you go about telling your friends?
"They don't seem to understand why this is something I need to do, as my generation has deemed being a drunk as socially acceptable."
I relate to this so much, they make you feel like such an outcast for being sober!
I'm still in the stage of letting friends know what I plan to do. I don't feel I have as much courage as you do. I would like to just ignore them and not return calls but I know that is a childish way to do this... How did you go about telling your friends?
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: wappingers falls, ny
Posts: 7
djfreestyle-
i didnt exactly post my decision on a bulletin board for everyone to see. i have gone out twice since i have decided to be sober and have drank coffee and water. when asked why, i simply stated i wasnt drinking. if asked why, i simply stated that it was time for a break. they do not need to know what i have come to realize, at least not in that setting. given the fact that they're on their way to forgetting their name, they never question it again and just carry on.
i have told me close friends, but have not said the word alcoholic to anyone as of yet. hence why im here. i know what i have, but everyone else is in denial for me. i somewhat told my mother that i had stopped because i had lost control, and given that my father is an alcoholic also, i'm pretty sure she understood what i meant.
it is hard with friends our age, but i'm now realizing who my true friends are, which is never easy to stare in the face. stay strong, though, and know that you can always private message me. i would love to have someone to personally talk to.
angelina-
thank you for your help. and just to be clear, a simple "pass" will grant me access to be mute if i feel as though i only want to listen??
i didnt exactly post my decision on a bulletin board for everyone to see. i have gone out twice since i have decided to be sober and have drank coffee and water. when asked why, i simply stated i wasnt drinking. if asked why, i simply stated that it was time for a break. they do not need to know what i have come to realize, at least not in that setting. given the fact that they're on their way to forgetting their name, they never question it again and just carry on.
i have told me close friends, but have not said the word alcoholic to anyone as of yet. hence why im here. i know what i have, but everyone else is in denial for me. i somewhat told my mother that i had stopped because i had lost control, and given that my father is an alcoholic also, i'm pretty sure she understood what i meant.
it is hard with friends our age, but i'm now realizing who my true friends are, which is never easy to stare in the face. stay strong, though, and know that you can always private message me. i would love to have someone to personally talk to.
angelina-
thank you for your help. and just to be clear, a simple "pass" will grant me access to be mute if i feel as though i only want to listen??
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
jkcowgirl
When I attended my first AA meeting I was pretty terrified. It went though surprisingly well. It has been almost 3 months for me, 90 days on Saturday and now I love meetings! I found a sponsor and we are going on a road trip to this weekend to a speaker meeting and dinner.
Welcome to the board and congrats on making a decision you will never regret!
Sheila
When I attended my first AA meeting I was pretty terrified. It went though surprisingly well. It has been almost 3 months for me, 90 days on Saturday and now I love meetings! I found a sponsor and we are going on a road trip to this weekend to a speaker meeting and dinner.
Welcome to the board and congrats on making a decision you will never regret!
Sheila
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