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Oh bother Hi again, Having shot my mouth off last week about not having any cravings on Thursday and Friday, the cravings have suddenly reappeared. I haven't had a drink yet - this is day 12 since the last relapse. But every thought today seems to be captivated by alcohol. There seems to be an image lodged permanently in my brain of an ice-cold bottle of beer, and I just can't get rid of it. I feel a bit like I'm trying to climb a mountain. The summit is "Sobriety", with lots of beautiful views over the surrounding scenery. Lots of wonderful people already at the summit are throwing me ropes as a kind of life-line and are trying to pull me up. But below me, further down the mountain, there's this horrible monster, in the shape of a bottle, which has got hold of my ankle and is trying to pull me down. Oh bother... :help PB |
Hi Paddington, There's no question that early sobriety is a struggle. I had to make a lot of changes in my life in order to get through that period. I removed some toxic people from my life, I changed my routines and planned to be doing something else, at the times I would have been drinking. It really helped me to cope. You can get through these cravings and move forward. Each time you get through one, you will get a little stronger. |
PB Fear not, this too shall pass. I had the same thing. At about the same stage. Ambushes out of nowhere. A multisensory attack of wanting a beer. Took me totally by surprise. These visualizations will become less and less frequent, less intense. Just be prepared. Mine usually occurred during "ritual" time-the times I would "normally" have a beer. Have a plan. I always have plenty of juice on hand. And although I have never liked sweets, I began to keep some around. Seemed to help. Once I got used to the fact that these "ambushes" were going to occur, they became very manageable. Sometimes I'd even laugh when they happened. These days (two months) they are rare, indeed. I now have far to much to lose by even paying attention to them. One thing I would do early on, when they were very intense is write here. The act of writing occupies countless neurons and areas of the brain. Writing requires so much neurological processing power, that there is little left for anything else. Worked for me. warren |
Hi PB... keep breathing and writing. Cravings don't usually last that long provided you don't give in to them. Warren has given you some good advice :). |
Thing is, they are not at the summit they have just been sober longer than you. This is why 'one day at a time' is such a powerful mantra/cliche. Obviously, it does get easier over time but being sober isnt something to achieve, its something you DO every day. When will you be on the summit too? After how long? You see what I mean? |
What I have done in the past is Change my thinking. For me it all boiled down to my thoughts. If I had thoughts of drinking I would replace those thoughts with bad experiences of drinking. I just kept doing this over and over. It helped me, so thought it might help you. |
its been 4 months for me and i still have that image imprinted in my mind hasnt gone anywere but just be strong |
I do something a little bit like 1963comet - When I get a craving, pass one of my old drinking places, or have a visualization of that drink (can be very poweverful) I respond in my mind with the word, "Poison. Poison." Repeated and repeated. It sometimes makes me giggle now because I really do get that it is poison to my body and I didn't get that when I initially made it up. If I home, I usually eat something sweet, like Warren - sometimes a granola bar, sometimes a small piece of good chocolate, sometimes some lemonaid or a good orange. I think what I'm doing it distracting my brain and giving it something else to think about! Hang in there!! |
Been to an AA meeting recently? :) Keep in focus.. you too can recover. |
The very thing you are facing is the insanity of addiction and as Anna said it can be quite a struggle...I remember after just two weeks of sobriety, after a painful conversation with someone I loved, I automatically went searching through my son's house looking for any remnants of alcohol...My son drinks everyday. I was so frightened of this,I walked to the nearest AA meeting... It does get easier...Believe in yourself, you can do this... |
But every thought today seems to be captivated by alcohol The only thing that worked for me was a good, solid program of recovery (AA). I tried in numerous times on my own, and just couldn't leave it alone. |
Thats why they say you relapse way before you pick up that drink. I found I would be thinking and obsessing about it well before I picked up that drink. The right thing to do for me at those times would be to call someone in recovery, post on here, or go to a meeting. From what I hear Paddington, it gets easier. |
Those people throwing the ropes are those involved with AA, grab a rope. |
Hello everyone, Thanks for all these massively helpful posts. I took your advice - and it worked a treat. I didn't drink last night. I feel happy and relieved today - all thanks to you. I did the following 5 things when I got home from work yesterday: 1) I drank a huge amount of fruit juice (thanks for this tip Warren and mle-sober). My favourite was to take a champagne flute and fill it with one third pink grapefruit juice and two thirds sparkling mineral water - a weird concoction but it was cold, bubbly and bitter and seemed to distract my crazy mind away from thoughts of a cold beer. 2) I had a reasonably substantial meal soon after getting in from work, so that, even if I wanted to drink, I would be too full up with food. 3) I tried to do some spring cleaning in my mind and change my thoughts (thanks for this 1963comet and mle-sober - this is a super point). In particular I kept saying to myself: "I hate alcohol. Yes, I do. I really hate this stuff. It is revolting." And I tried to fill my mind with other thoughts, such as "I love grapefruit juice! Yes, I do, I simply love it. Oooooo, yummy." 4) I kept thinking about all the things I would lose if I had that first drink (thanks for this great point Warren). I'm on the longest run of alcohol-free days since about 1996 (today is my thirteenth day) and I didn't want to mess that up... 5) I took myself off to bed quite early and curled up listening to some relaxing music. I realise now (and it's taken me a while) that I will never get to a "summit" where I can say I'm cured of my alcoholism (thanks for this, Stone). Instead, I guess I need to view each day as a new opportunity to explore how wonderful living sober can be. I got a bit "casual" in the last few days about my AA meetings - when the cravings seemed to disappear last week I didn't think it was so vital to attend. But I now realise I have to attend for the long-term - thanks for the reminders. Yesterday really scared me, I came very close to another relapse. Thanks, everyone, for helping me through my "wobble" yesterday. I couldn't have coped without all your support. PB :praying |
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