SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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-   -   Hi I'm new too (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/147800-hi-im-new-too.html)

HideorSeek 04-09-2008 07:25 AM

Hi I'm new too
 
Hi Everyone!

First, I would like to say what an inspiration this forum has been for me. The love, support and advice just burst from the monitor!

Anyways, a little about me. Basically, I have always been an alcoholic. I have more family genes for it than I do for brown hair. Although I have been drinking (moderately) for many years, it really became evident that I had a problem about 5 years ago. That's when I started hiding it and lying about it to my family. Approx. 2 years ago, they pulled the plug and gave me no alternative but to go to AA. I would love to say that it worked from the start, but I have been a constant relapser. I think probably because it wasn't my choice to go to AA (I hate to be told what to do...sound familiar??) and also because I have historically thought that I SHOULD quit drinking, not that I WANT to quit drinking. As far as AA goes, I have a very hard time opening up and asking for help and being honest about my struggles. Anyways, this last last Sunday was it for me. To quote a common phrase "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired." If I continue to drink, I will lose my family, my health and the really wonderful life I am blessed to have. I don't know why this time I feel differently...I just hope it will last. I love the thread of "2 weeks or less" and will monitor and post on this forum everytime I feel sketchy. I feel like this forum is going to be invaluable for me. Again, i pray that it will be. As far as my screen name...I thought about it and I have a choice...either I can continue to hide (something I've done my whole life), or I can begin to seek and realize my potential as a human being.

Thank you all for reading this and for being there for me and others!

Anna 04-09-2008 07:32 AM

Hi and Welcome,

I'm so glad you've joined us.

I hid my drinking too, as much as possible for as long as possible. It ended up being exhausting. I was always covering up messes and trying to not get caught in lies. It was actually a relief to just stop drinking.

But, you're right. Recovery is hard and you really need to want it. I hope you stay with us.

warrens 04-09-2008 07:36 AM

Welcome!

I joined this community 8 weeks ago and have been sober since. the people here have given me focus, support, and knowledge. I supply the desire. It has worked. Because I live remotely, AA is not an option right now. I can't let that get in my way or give me an excuse.

You sound genuinely committed to changing your life. It is far easier to do so when there are others who are sharing in that experience. One reason that this place is so effective (for me) is that I am able to interact with people who are living with recovery in all stages. I get to help and be helped.

I hope to see you here often and for a long time. As you will see, it is inspiring to watch the progress of others as you share your own.

Good luck!

warren

HideorSeek 04-09-2008 07:46 AM

Thank you, Anna, for the welcome. I agree, the hiding is exhausting and the lying made me feel so contemptuous. Fear is a big factor for me...fear of abandonment, fear that someone won't like me, fear of failure, fear of ADMITTING failure, well it just goes on and on. The thing about the early sobriety thread that appeals to me is that the AA groups I attend have a lot of "old timers" and I feel shy/scared about admitting how hard it is for me on a day to day basis. Even though I know that every old timer had a first day, first week, etc, it's just so intimidating to me. Anyways, the thread of people reaching out in day 1, day 10 and the daily struggles is a comfort (and inspiration) to me. I know that I'm not alone. Because (outside of AA), I'm the only alcoholic I know, I can screw myself into thinking that there's something wrong with me, morally unfit, etc. This forum is good for me in that it reinforces that we are everywhere and that the struggle is real for all of us in our daily lives, regardless of the length of sobriety. Again, thank you for being there for me.

Missymae737 04-09-2008 07:49 AM

Hello and Welcome to SR...

Keep posting, we are happy you found us...

AA and SR have been the motivating force to end my misery in active drinking...My life is so good today...

HideorSeek 04-09-2008 07:52 AM

Thank you, Warren! I found this forum several days ago and just this am, found the courage to post. Your past posts, in particular, (really!) have had special meaning for me. It's so nice to hear from you.

tkdan 04-09-2008 07:53 AM

Hey hideorseek, welcome to SR. I like the way you explained your user mame. I too hid my drinking, it was not till I decided to seek the help of others that I began to have a quality sobriety. Many times I quit on my on and it was not good, I would be depressed and miserable. This is a great site with tons of support. Keep coming back and keep us posted on your progress.

HideorSeek 04-09-2008 07:54 AM

Thank you all for the warm welcome! I feel empowered by all your suppost!

BrixtonBear 04-09-2008 08:06 AM

Hi Hideorseek,

Welcome to SR! :wavey:

I've found this forum to be a very special place for support. I joined the forum 23 days ago, and so far have relapsed into drinking on only 2 of those 23 days. For me, that's an absolute record! (Virtually all of 2007 for me was a painful mess caused by my daily drinking). I'm still struggling but determined to keep at it.

Good to have you here, Hideorseek. Hope you keep coming back and keep posting.

All best wishes
Paddington

tennis71 04-09-2008 09:58 AM

Welcome! SR is a safe and supportive place to be.

MagicMan08 04-09-2008 10:35 AM

I also am one that would benefit from going to only speaker meetings where people share their stories of where they were, how it is now in sobriety, and how they did it.

I too also find a lot of inspiration on here and check it daily, and am sure will be surfing on it at work. I like chatting with people in various spots in sobriety and being able to relate to other peoples stories in one way or another....it's a nice fellowship so far :Dance7:

MrsMagoo 04-09-2008 01:03 PM

I do not have any addiction issues - except to the addict himself but I have found SR to be my lifeline and the place where I can put my real issues out there and get some beneficial feedback, opinions, advice and honest, heartwrenching experiences to draw from.

It's great that you have found your way here. Nothing happens by accident. This is your time and SR can be a big tool to help you stay sober.

Good luck!! :Val004:

fifty 04-09-2008 01:06 PM

Welcome to the forums and it's very nice to have you here!

Hevyn 04-09-2008 01:33 PM

Hello, HideorSeek - you and I sound almost exactly alike. I don't go to AA either, probably should - but this is my AA for now, and it has worked miracles for me. Just knowing someone understands and that we aren't alone is so comforting! I'm like you - I'm the only alcoholic I know - and being "older" that's really strange. Therefore, no one really "gets me" and they give all sorts of inappropriate advice to try and help or steer me in the right direction *sigh*. So glad you found us.

nogard 04-09-2008 01:34 PM

Welcome to SR :)

least 04-09-2008 01:42 PM

Welcome to the site! THis is a safe and loving place to be. I found it last month and it's helped me tremendously. Just knowing I have a place to go to vent and get advice and support has been a lifesaver.

Keep coming back!:ghug3

Lily 04-09-2008 03:08 PM

Welcome to SR! you are gonna love it here. Sheila

ImJulie 04-09-2008 03:11 PM

:ghug

Welcome!
I look forward to getting to know you!

CarolD 04-09-2008 06:52 PM

Good to see a new member
Welcome!
:wave:


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