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Old 04-03-2008, 12:44 PM   #1 (permalink)

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I just lost everything....need help

Hey All- I guess it was bound to happen....I lost my job today...tested positive at work...again...I 've had this job for 20 years....I've never done anything else. I don't know what to do....going into a residential program tomorrow....staying as long as it takes.....I feel like everything is lost now....everything...my kids insurance...my house...everyone relies on me and I let everyone down....I'm so ashamed and despondent...I don't know what to do...I'm so scared and feel so alone...I feel like my life is over..I'm lost..theres no way to fix it....I feel like I don't deserve to live...I screwed up so bad....theres no sorry ...theres no hope...I hurt so bad....just got out of the hospital an hour ago. Withdrawals are that bad....hurting...on top of it all I want a drink....how crazy is that s***? Everything I ever worked for is probably gone...I don't see any way out
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Old 04-03-2008, 12:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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There is always hope, Rob.

And, I hope that you have gone down far enough to want to make a change in your life. I hope that this is the point where you turn things around. A treatment centre is a great idea. It will give you a chance to deal with your feelings and to begin recovery.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 04-03-2008, 12:49 PM   #3 (permalink)

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ask your doctor for antabus and take and make yourself take it, thought the craving for liquor wont go away but it teaches you a lesson if you do drink on it, and i guess i see the same thing there is no way out, but you got look on a positive note, your going to residental treatment thats the first step to quiting, things well look brigther, it wont be an easy path, it wont be fun, but life isnt over it may seem like that because liquor is depressant so you well feel like there is no hope for months to come but that well eventually disapear, just take it one day at a time
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Old 04-03-2008, 12:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Everything I ever worked for is probably gone...I don't see any way out
Oh honey I am sorry. When I came here I was pretty lost and did not see a way out either. I wasn't prepared to live much longer, because I was so lost in my world.

It took a lot of work, and getting off of my doc to see the light again.

You CAN do this, this can be your new beginning.

You deserve recovery, and deserve to be happy.

Living in fast forward
Hollywood RockStar outta control
Need to rewind real slow
Always Runin
Time to take control

Oh yeah ...

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Old 04-03-2008, 12:52 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Glad to see you are finally going to treatment Rob

That's a very wise move.
Good for you!
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Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 04-03-2008, 01:04 PM   #6 (permalink)
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How low can we go? I've been binge drinking for nearly 30 years, drinking daily for the last few months. A few months ago I started going out with an alcoholic drug dealer. He dealt with his all day drinking by taking speed and coke to stay sober, hey that's a good idea I thought. I can drink as much as I like and not fall over as long as I take drugs as well. On Monday night when he was drunk he beat the **** out of me.

I'm 43 years old with 2 lovely daughters. I'm an intelligent, educated and supposedly respectable woman. What the **** was I doing.

I'm just completing my 3rd day sober and have been to my first AA meeting. I'm staying well away from this now ex-boyfriend.

I haven't given up hope, with the support of the AA, everyone here and friends and family I'm going to lead a happy life.

Don't give up.
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Old 04-03-2008, 01:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I was fired once too . For drinking on the job, repeatedly. Hell, I was always drunk.

Anyway, this was at a job I had for 5 years. IT Manager for a 50 Million/Yr company.

Soon afterwards, I was arrested at my daughters school for public intox. I came home from jail to an empty house (My own kids left me)

Prior to all this, I had already left (read, been kicked out by) the Wife, and had to sell our house to avoid foreclosure. Add to that a couple of bankruptcies and a few DUIS (one with injury)

Yeah, things were pretty bleak.

But, it was what I needed to ask for help, and walk (literally, my car was broken down) into the rooms of AA.

Today, I'm making more money than I ever have in my life. My kids are back, and the car runs.

More important that that though, is that I have a sense of peace, usefulness, and serinity that I've never known.

Go ahead and go to that treatment center.

But, let me tell you one more thing that happened to me. I wenmt to a 6 day "spin dry". They told me to go to AA as soon as I got out of there and I didn't. Guess what happened about 3 weeks later ?!?!
Life Happens
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Old 04-03-2008, 01:21 PM   #8 (permalink)

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Follow through with your treatment plans, and do whatever is suggested while you are there. Do not drink. No matter what.
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Old 04-03-2008, 01:24 PM   #9 (permalink)
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For me, it took losing everything to get serious about recovery. I was an RN, making good money, nice place to live, convertible in the driveway.

Crack was my demon, and I lost everything, including self-respect....ended up in jail.

As long as we are breathing, we have a chance. Please go to treatment. I didn't, but being locked up for almost 6 months was enough time for me to stay clean and realize I want a better life.

My life isn't a bed of roses, today, but it's so much better. YOU deserve recovery...think of it as a gift, not a punishment.

Hugs and prayers!

"I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be" - Joyce Meyer

"You got what it takes you can win, today is your day to begin. - Shania Twain

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Old 04-03-2008, 01:43 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Follow through with the recovery-in time it will get better-Proof from all the awesome people in SR! Faith you will find and get through this-Prayers and faith flowing to you!
Dance as though no one is watching you
Love as though you have never been hurt before
Live as though heaven is on earth.

Last edited by Rella927; 04-03-2008 at 02:05 PM.
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Old 04-03-2008, 01:57 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Robzoloft View Post
I don't know what to do....going into a residential program tomorrow....staying as long as it takes........I don't see any way out

You do know what to do...you are doing it...the "way out" is checking "IN" to that treatment center... thats the 1rst step...

good luck...and GREAT blessings... Im praying for you right now Rob.

you helped me in my recovery today.

thank you.

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Old 04-03-2008, 02:38 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey Robzoloft,

I'm proud of your for going into treatment. And you stated that you feel like you've lost everything? The absolute truth here is that you have been given a chance to WIN everything. That is true. Make an unbreakable committement to follow your recovery plan and you will gain back more than you have lost.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've followed your posts a bit in the last few days and what you possessed was a hellish devil on your back by the name of alcoholism. When you lose that devil, you usually have to go down to hell to throw him in there. And that sucks. Cause call kinds of bad **** happens. And it feels like losing your life. But when you get back up from hell, you get to slowly put your life back together. And without the devil of active alcoholism riding your sould, your life feels and looks a lot better.

But don't believe me. Try it for yourself. Good luck in treatment. Work your butt off.

Sorry for my language.
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Old 04-03-2008, 03:07 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I am so sorry this has happened, but I am so glad you are going to a residential home. It REALLY helped me big time. I detoxed and learned the tools I needed to stay clean from my DOC. I am pulling for you!

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Old 04-03-2008, 03:27 PM   #14 (permalink)
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A wise choice to go into treatment.

One door closes and another one opens.

Don't listen to yourself. Do what they tell you to do.

Hopefully, we will see you smiling on the other end; no matter how long it takes.
"It's not yesterday .... anymore." --Talking Heads 77
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Old 04-03-2008, 04:13 PM   #15 (permalink)

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Hi - I am Rob's wife. I hope it's ok to post something, I just wanted to thank you all very much for the words of encouragement to him. I know it has meant a lot to him. We have only been married for 4 months and I naively did not realize the magnitude of the "devil on his back" (an apt description). My heart is breaking for him and what he's going through, but you're right, he does have everything to win if he truly commits to this treatment facility he will enter tomorrow, as does anyone I am sure who needs help with this. Ironically, my own father was an alcoholic (yes, I probably have some sort of "fix'it" need in relationships) and Iwould have loved it if he had gotten sober and had some kind of relationship with me and all of my siblings, but it's too late for that nowas he never stopped and passed away. I hope it's never too late for Rob or any of you who struggle with this. I admire the courage and strength you all show for eachother. Thanks again for what you have done.
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Old 04-03-2008, 04:35 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Hi Robs wife, I hope you are coping OK, have you considered posting in the Friends and Family section of the forum?

Rob, you get the point...there are people who have been in as bad a situation as you (and worse) who have got their lives back, you can too! Well done on the treatment centre and when you get out, go to AA. Good luck man.
As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth,
even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again.
-- Maitri Upanishads
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Old 04-03-2008, 05:20 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Well i guess your wife knows now

I like what Reed said,"don't listen to yourself"
cuz its mostly self defeating and untrue.

I know it doesn't feel like it now but rehab will be really good. You don't have anything to worry about except concentrating on you and getting better. Forget about everything else now. I grantee you in 5 days you will have a whole new outlook. A positive one.
Bring your slippers and a few pics of family

I am envious, you have a supportive wife, good luck guys
never stop growing
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Old 04-03-2008, 05:20 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I lost a few jobs due to my drinking. That just gave me more time to drink full time. There is a way out. There is a solution to any problem. We need to seek it out. For most of us it is to stop drinking, for good. You are heading in the right direction by going to treatment. Make it stick. Just know you can rebuild your life and your reputation. It takes time and it takes effort. Again, we continue to push it as long as there are no consequences. Now you have one, make it work. Make sobriety happen.
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Old 04-03-2008, 05:22 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hey Rob, and hello to your wife too. It took a lot of courage for her to post here, looks like you've got some great support!

A little over three years ago I gave almost everything away. I often remind myself that I didn't lose anything, I gave it away every time I made the decision to pick up a drink. So I gave away my marriage, my home, my pets, and the ability to spend every day with my children. I couldn't see any hope, there was no light at the end of the tunnel, it felt like the story of my life had suddenly ended.

But I knew without a doubt that I could never safely take a drink again, and that I had to work a program of recovery. AA was my choice, I hope you find something after treatment that works for you.

So what do I have now? A beautiful relationship with my amazing children and my girlfriend who works her own recovery program. A small home where we enjoy spending time together. I managed to keep my job, and I'm grateful my co-workers stood by my side in my recovery. I've made more friends in AA than I ever thought was possible, and I enjoy being of service to the Fellowship. Posting here on SR is pretty fun too! I often say that I have a life beyond my wildest dreams and expectations, every day spent in sobriety just reaffirms that.

I look forward to hearing from you when you get out of that treatment facility, maybe your wife can keep us updated? Prayers and good thoughts going out for you Rob!

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty, and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming---*WOW-What a ride*!"
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Old 04-03-2008, 05:32 PM   #20 (permalink)

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There is a light at the end of the tunnel Rob...... I wish I could give ya the hug every day just know it is there mentally every day I am so proud of you for going into treatment is was something I tried to do at first but I wasn't accepted with my health problems.....it takes courage to stand back up and dust your self off the words that spoke of your courage and strength, was the almost after though of your message ,"staying as long as it takes" ...
Btw congrats on your new marriage......( did you know it was a stressful time trigger too?) Mrs. Rob I agree with Mr Stoney up there check out our posts there are a lot of newlyweds on her GOING THREW WHAT YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck Rob and God Bless I will keep you in my prayers!

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