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Friend's reaction

Old 03-30-2008, 06:57 PM
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Friend's reaction

I guess it's probably something many of you have dealt with, but i'm pretty scared about what co-workers and friends are going to think when i tell em I dont drink at all anymore. Especially a couple of good friends that really dont see me as a problem having a couple beers with em. I just dont know how to say to a person that I dont drink anymore. So there you have it. Any opinions appreciated. I'm very anxious about being in situatiosn where I'm at a bar/dinner/social setting (and I know I will be) as it is without drinking, talking about it and people knowing scares me even more. But not as much as waking up the next morning and not knowing what the hell happened

Thanks,

CS
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Old 03-30-2008, 07:02 PM
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Welcome! I'm glad you are here! Hang around/read some of the posts. There is plenty of good people and info here.
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Old 03-30-2008, 07:19 PM
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Welcome ChicagoSong

I always had a problem of worrying about what other people thought of me. At some point, I had to worry about what I thought of me more.
At that point what other people thought of me was basically meaningless, I knew they thought I was out of my flipping mind, the way I would drink/drug and do stupid stuff.

I learned from people like me in AA that what other people think of me is none of my business and I basically think too much and think I know something.

I've found I'm really pretty ignorant. I live in a little box and look out at the world through my eyes as if the world revolves around me. No wonder I was always frustrated, angry, bewildered and drunk. It's a hard job making the world like me and making it do what I want when I want.

I've also found that the world really doesn't care that much if I drink or not and if somebody was to give me a hard time for choosing not to drink, I don't need to be around that person.

At the very least I could defer the quit drinking speech to "I'm not drinking today". After a person asks me a couple of times or won't take no for an answer, I'd have to question why it's so important for this person that I drink. In which case I don't need to be around this person.

God's Peace
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Old 03-30-2008, 07:44 PM
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Thats great stuff I really appreciate it 353.
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Old 03-30-2008, 07:44 PM
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. . . "JUST FOR TODAY"
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Old 03-30-2008, 08:02 PM
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Hi ChicagoSong! I've generally got two reactions when I've told people. 75% of the time, people have said "good for you!" The other 25%, are like "Really? Why?" Which depending on how close I am with them, depends on how much of the true story as to why.

good luck!
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Old 03-30-2008, 08:09 PM
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I just loved what 353 wrote. Good Advice

If you did not want to go into detail about your not drinking. Just say that you are chosing a healthy lifestyle and not drinking is part of it.
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Old 03-30-2008, 08:15 PM
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Well.....try
I'm on a health kick
Takeing a break tonight

Good friends will be supportive
Drinking buddies ...not really.

My solution?

I found a awesome group of new
sober friends in my AA meetings.
We share the same lifestyles and goals
and have a total blast!

Glad you are here with us...
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Old 03-30-2008, 10:30 PM
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I just say I'm allergic. I got that from my Uncle. He got tired of explaining his religion (LDS/Mormon) to the business associates. He did business with a lot of people in Japan and they understood allergies, but not him being Mormon.

He was known as the juice man. I'm known as the iced tea queen.
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Old 03-30-2008, 11:49 PM
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I know it doesn't seem real right now-but after a while?You won't even care what they say/think-because you know it's your life at stake.

I've said many things 'My doctor said I need to give my kidneys a break'(true) I'm not drinking tonight-am driving'....'No thanks-just a soda'....and the astonishing thing to me was-very few people gave a damn about whether I drank or not.I discovered I really wasn't the center of the universe(shocking to me really-LOL)

That aside-I do appreciate it's difficult when all you've hung out with are people who drink.What I also discovered was-most of them really weren't my friends.They just wanted me to enable them.

Hang tough,

Jules.
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Old 03-31-2008, 07:55 AM
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hi,
i worry about this too, especially as im rarely seen at social functions or family outings without a glass of wine in my hand, nice to know im not the only one worrying about things like this, even my own mum pushes, and no doubt will continue to push me to drink, and unfortunately im not close enough to her to ever feel able to tell her the real deal, and if i did, shed never accept it.
Im gonna try, *me and alcohol just dont get on anymore* and see if that goes down ok, good luck
SN.
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