Hello..my quick share
Kimmy trying again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 7
Hello..my quick share
Last year, around this this time, I was sober for about 3-4 months, until I started privately relapsing. I joined sober circle dot com last year, but lied and never went to any f2f meetings. Haven't gone to one yet now. My last drink was about 5:30 am central time on Saturday. Pretty close to my first 24 hours..again.
I have been at my worst lately, spending the past 9 months from 5:00 pm till passing out, drunk. I have been drinking a tall bottle of rum, and a six pack of Mike's hard lemonade nightly. Even more on weekends. Normally polish off several Excedrin Pm's so I would just pass out before I would get sick.
I have gained tons of weight, look horrible, and can't believe I still have a marriage, although what kind of wife have I been?
I can give one million of excuses for drinking "this time". But truth is, I am almost 36 years old, and have been drinking since 16. Maybe earlier. I was forced into a in patient hospital by 17, and forced by parents to go to meetings until about 19. I learned to be a smarter drunk.
I don't know what it will take. I smashed up my car in 2004 hitting an electrical pole. So I now only drink alone, and at home.
But for some reason today...I passed up the booze at the store. Now everything itches. I feel like I have bugs. I am warm, and then cold. I have been through this before too. But I am afraid of tomorrow as well.
I have been at my worst lately, spending the past 9 months from 5:00 pm till passing out, drunk. I have been drinking a tall bottle of rum, and a six pack of Mike's hard lemonade nightly. Even more on weekends. Normally polish off several Excedrin Pm's so I would just pass out before I would get sick.
I have gained tons of weight, look horrible, and can't believe I still have a marriage, although what kind of wife have I been?
I can give one million of excuses for drinking "this time". But truth is, I am almost 36 years old, and have been drinking since 16. Maybe earlier. I was forced into a in patient hospital by 17, and forced by parents to go to meetings until about 19. I learned to be a smarter drunk.
I don't know what it will take. I smashed up my car in 2004 hitting an electrical pole. So I now only drink alone, and at home.
But for some reason today...I passed up the booze at the store. Now everything itches. I feel like I have bugs. I am warm, and then cold. I have been through this before too. But I am afraid of tomorrow as well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
soul, welcome...
sounds like a visit to the docs in order!
DT's... ouch!
good wishes
rz
I feel like I have bugs. I am warm, and then cold. I have been through this before too. But I am afraid of tomorrow as well.
DT's... ouch!
good wishes
rz
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Welcome. My Dad would say you are a hard nut to crack. (This is what he said about me...so don't be offended.)
I have a very strong and independant personality. It is hard to admit we are sick, and have a problem. And more importantly hard to admit we need help. But once I learned to accept help...life got a little better.
I had to learn the hard way I will never be able to control my drinking. It controlled me. Crazy water.
I have a very strong and independant personality. It is hard to admit we are sick, and have a problem. And more importantly hard to admit we need help. But once I learned to accept help...life got a little better.
I had to learn the hard way I will never be able to control my drinking. It controlled me. Crazy water.
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
I spent most of my life "in my coconut" and can relate to what others have said about being stubborn about seeking help.
It's never too early or late to ask for help. My sponsor is eight years my junior and has eight years of sobriety (I'm 36). There's a lady in my meeting who is 74 and just celebrated three years.
The point is to get started when you are willing to do so.
It's scary for me to think that I might never have gotten help had a particular incident not occured in my life. I seem to have a very high tolerance for misery and insanity.
It's never too early or late to ask for help. My sponsor is eight years my junior and has eight years of sobriety (I'm 36). There's a lady in my meeting who is 74 and just celebrated three years.
The point is to get started when you are willing to do so.
It's scary for me to think that I might never have gotten help had a particular incident not occured in my life. I seem to have a very high tolerance for misery and insanity.
Kimmy trying again
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Crystal Lake
Posts: 7
Thank you all for your nice hello, welcomes and smiles.
Day two is very different. My heart has slowed, and I feel a little weird. My husband is watching me, but who knows if he takes detox seriously.
On a good note, my boss gave me a meditation/hynotizing cd to listen to. It is only 30 min long, but I was out within the first 9. LOL.
The title of the lesson was housekeeping. Getting rid of everything I don't want and casting it away. Of course, I know this won't keep me sober. But the nap was pretty nice during this first 48 hours.
Day two is very different. My heart has slowed, and I feel a little weird. My husband is watching me, but who knows if he takes detox seriously.
On a good note, my boss gave me a meditation/hynotizing cd to listen to. It is only 30 min long, but I was out within the first 9. LOL.
The title of the lesson was housekeeping. Getting rid of everything I don't want and casting it away. Of course, I know this won't keep me sober. But the nap was pretty nice during this first 48 hours.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
