why cant i beat this?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 157
why cant i beat this?
Hi everyone im new to this site and feel desperately in need of some support today.
My drinking career began in my teens, im now 29 and things are just getting so out of control.
I fooled myself into thinking i didnt have a problem, at the start of the year i told my self it was simply circumstance that had made my drinking spiral in the last three or four years- and that now the issues that MADE me drink had gone- my drinking would somehow become *back in control*
And so i proved it to everyone that i was *ok* , i began running 13 miles, eating really healthily, embarking on various college courses and applying for lots of jobs, in the vain attempt to make myself believe i was fine.
And i left the drink alone, for a week, or two, then id try and drink *just a glass* to prove to myself that i wasnt an addict, it seemed to work for a while and i was feeling so much better, my self esteem was better, things were getting done, my moods were better , things were looking up for me-
But here i am YET AGAIN, paranoid, scared and mostly angry with a hangover from hell, feeling EXACTLY the same as before i *started to stop*
EVERYTHING HAS GONE FULL CIRCLE AND I FEEL EVEN MORE HELPLESS AND LESS ABLE TO ADDRESS IT AS I CAN SEE WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE I AM!
I simply dont understand why i continue to obsess about and put something into my body that makes me feel so bad and suicidal.
I feel like the last three months were a waste of time and im now right back at square one.
Help please im terrified of life-
Im starting to think its just going to get the better of me and i should just give in and accept it.
Ive even sat and discussed my alcoholic brother and how tragic he is with my family- what a hypocrite i have become!
My drinking career began in my teens, im now 29 and things are just getting so out of control.
I fooled myself into thinking i didnt have a problem, at the start of the year i told my self it was simply circumstance that had made my drinking spiral in the last three or four years- and that now the issues that MADE me drink had gone- my drinking would somehow become *back in control*
And so i proved it to everyone that i was *ok* , i began running 13 miles, eating really healthily, embarking on various college courses and applying for lots of jobs, in the vain attempt to make myself believe i was fine.
And i left the drink alone, for a week, or two, then id try and drink *just a glass* to prove to myself that i wasnt an addict, it seemed to work for a while and i was feeling so much better, my self esteem was better, things were getting done, my moods were better , things were looking up for me-
But here i am YET AGAIN, paranoid, scared and mostly angry with a hangover from hell, feeling EXACTLY the same as before i *started to stop*
EVERYTHING HAS GONE FULL CIRCLE AND I FEEL EVEN MORE HELPLESS AND LESS ABLE TO ADDRESS IT AS I CAN SEE WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE I AM!
I simply dont understand why i continue to obsess about and put something into my body that makes me feel so bad and suicidal.
I feel like the last three months were a waste of time and im now right back at square one.
Help please im terrified of life-
Im starting to think its just going to get the better of me and i should just give in and accept it.
Ive even sat and discussed my alcoholic brother and how tragic he is with my family- what a hypocrite i have become!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
SN, welcome to the family...
SN for me, it was because i am a alcoholic...
and it wasnt until that compulsion was lifted, was my life able to get any better...
and i have to say, that compulsion was lifted by a Power Greater then Me...
me, caused the problem, my powers removed my problems...
good wishes supernothing
some day, you will be super something!
rz
SN
I simply dont understand why i continue to obsess about and put something into my body that makes me feel so bad and suicidal.
and it wasnt until that compulsion was lifted, was my life able to get any better...
and i have to say, that compulsion was lifted by a Power Greater then Me...
me, caused the problem, my powers removed my problems...
good wishes supernothing
some day, you will be super something!
rz
problem with authority
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 870
I am 36 now and was just where you are six and a half months ago. This is my first time attempting sobriety in a serious way. By that I mean my previous attempts were simply to stop drinking for awhile...I usually got to about four days before I was feeling so good that I went out and bought a bottle of wine.
If you are ready and truly willing to stop, I suggest you try a little experiment.
Set yourself two goals for today:
1. Say to yourself, "I will drink tomorrow, perhaps, but I will not drink today."
2. Go to aa.org and look up the next meeting that is nearby (and in English); go to that meeting and raise your hand when they ask if there are any newcomers.
I am an atheist with an IQ of 160 and told the person who suggested I try AA to go you-know-where. Since I told him that I have not had a drink in 205 days.
They key to beating this thing is becoming accustomed to doing a couple of simple things every day that you don't want to do right now. You must admit that what you are doing on your own isn't working, and that trying something new has the potential to help you.
Michael
If you are ready and truly willing to stop, I suggest you try a little experiment.
Set yourself two goals for today:
1. Say to yourself, "I will drink tomorrow, perhaps, but I will not drink today."
2. Go to aa.org and look up the next meeting that is nearby (and in English); go to that meeting and raise your hand when they ask if there are any newcomers.
I am an atheist with an IQ of 160 and told the person who suggested I try AA to go you-know-where. Since I told him that I have not had a drink in 205 days.
They key to beating this thing is becoming accustomed to doing a couple of simple things every day that you don't want to do right now. You must admit that what you are doing on your own isn't working, and that trying something new has the potential to help you.
Michael
Originally Posted by supernothing 
Hi everyone im new to this site and feel desperately in need of some support today.
My drinking career began in my teens, im now 29 and things are just getting so out of control.
I fooled myself into thinking i didnt have a problem, at the start of the year i told my self it was simply circumstance that had made my drinking spiral in the last three or four years- and that now the issues that MADE me drink had gone- my drinking would somehow become *back in control*
And so i proved it to everyone that i was *ok* , i began running 13 miles, eating really healthily, embarking on various college courses and applying for lots of jobs, in the vain attempt to make myself believe i was fine.
And i left the drink alone, for a week, or two, then id try and drink *just a glass* to prove to myself that i wasnt an addict, it seemed to work for a while and i was feeling so much better, my self esteem was better, things were getting done, my moods were better , things were looking up for me-
But here i am YET AGAIN, paranoid, scared and mostly angry with a hangover from hell, feeling EXACTLY the same as before i *started to stop*
EVERYTHING HAS GONE FULL CIRCLE AND I FEEL EVEN MORE HELPLESS AND LESS ABLE TO ADDRESS IT AS I CAN SEE WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE I AM!
I simply dont understand why i continue to obsess about and put something into my body that makes me feel so bad and suicidal.
I feel like the last three months were a waste of time and im now right back at square one.
Help please im terrified of life-
Im starting to think its just going to get the better of me and i should just give in and accept it.
Ive even sat and discussed my alcoholic brother and how tragic he is with my family- what a hypocrite i have become!
My drinking career began in my teens, im now 29 and things are just getting so out of control.
I fooled myself into thinking i didnt have a problem, at the start of the year i told my self it was simply circumstance that had made my drinking spiral in the last three or four years- and that now the issues that MADE me drink had gone- my drinking would somehow become *back in control*
And so i proved it to everyone that i was *ok* , i began running 13 miles, eating really healthily, embarking on various college courses and applying for lots of jobs, in the vain attempt to make myself believe i was fine.
And i left the drink alone, for a week, or two, then id try and drink *just a glass* to prove to myself that i wasnt an addict, it seemed to work for a while and i was feeling so much better, my self esteem was better, things were getting done, my moods were better , things were looking up for me-
But here i am YET AGAIN, paranoid, scared and mostly angry with a hangover from hell, feeling EXACTLY the same as before i *started to stop*
EVERYTHING HAS GONE FULL CIRCLE AND I FEEL EVEN MORE HELPLESS AND LESS ABLE TO ADDRESS IT AS I CAN SEE WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE I AM!
I simply dont understand why i continue to obsess about and put something into my body that makes me feel so bad and suicidal.
I feel like the last three months were a waste of time and im now right back at square one.
Help please im terrified of life-
Im starting to think its just going to get the better of me and i should just give in and accept it.
Ive even sat and discussed my alcoholic brother and how tragic he is with my family- what a hypocrite i have become!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
hi super nothing,
I'm not sure if I like addressing you that way; it's like saying hey loser, and YOU are not a loser.
I hear this loud and clear. I too have been at this point many times. then gotten back up...only to fall down once again exactly the same way.
inside of you is the core and truth. You truly have the solution inside of you. I want very much to give you advise, but I hate receiving advise so I won't put YOU through that (this time)!
You have performed an experiment exactly as it is described in the book "alcoholics anonymous".
You have the "good" inside of you and you can change. 13 miles a day. If you can do that you have already accessed a very powerful part of yourself.
it sounds like you are really battling with wanting to be able to have "one drink". do you have a "why?".
thanks for sharing
I'm not sure if I like addressing you that way; it's like saying hey loser, and YOU are not a loser.
But here i am YET AGAIN, paranoid, scared and mostly angry with a hangover from hell,
inside of you is the core and truth. You truly have the solution inside of you. I want very much to give you advise, but I hate receiving advise so I won't put YOU through that (this time)!
You have performed an experiment exactly as it is described in the book "alcoholics anonymous".
You have the "good" inside of you and you can change. 13 miles a day. If you can do that you have already accessed a very powerful part of yourself.
it sounds like you are really battling with wanting to be able to have "one drink". do you have a "why?".
thanks for sharing
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Dear Super, I feel very much like you do. I keep wondering why I keep on putting poison into my body, yet continue to do it. I feel completely helpless and hopeless. I have no words of wisdom or comfort for you as I am fighting the same demons and don't know how to reagain control of this charade that is my life. I know that drinking is only making things worse but am feeling so bad that I keep on drinking... So I have only meself to blame.
Maybe together we can beat this addiction. Maybe together we can find the strenght we don't have on our own. Here's wishing you (and me) a better life and a hopeful future.
Maybe together we can beat this addiction. Maybe together we can find the strenght we don't have on our own. Here's wishing you (and me) a better life and a hopeful future.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hey SN,
First thing - change the name. You are not nothing. Secondly - you can do this. Follow Fighting Irish' advice. If you do , you'll find that you can do it. If not, who can say? My drinking was bad wwhen I was twenty nine, but I subjected myself to 7 more years of misery that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I became the brother that was talked about.
Now, after 12 years in AA, at age 47, I am somebody. Just ask my wife (!), my kids(!!), my coworkers (!), my fellow doctoral students (!). You will be , too. Hang in there. There is much to you that you have yet to discover!
Get thee to a meeting - any kind - AA, RR, SMART - anything. You will be amazed before you are halfway through.
Here endeth the lesson.
Mike
First thing - change the name. You are not nothing. Secondly - you can do this. Follow Fighting Irish' advice. If you do , you'll find that you can do it. If not, who can say? My drinking was bad wwhen I was twenty nine, but I subjected myself to 7 more years of misery that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I became the brother that was talked about.
Now, after 12 years in AA, at age 47, I am somebody. Just ask my wife (!), my kids(!!), my coworkers (!), my fellow doctoral students (!). You will be , too. Hang in there. There is much to you that you have yet to discover!
Get thee to a meeting - any kind - AA, RR, SMART - anything. You will be amazed before you are halfway through.
Here endeth the lesson.
Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 157
wow thanks so much for responding to my post.
I keep trying to call AA but it seems to be a permanent answer phone.
I want to go to a local meeting monday but im not sure if its ethical to just show up when i cant get through on the phone.
I have known and acccepted for a long time that i cant do this alone.
How important is honesty in all this? i feel completely unable to share my fears worries and constant struggle with ANYONE in my life- hence using this forum.
Im so obsessed with keeping up appearances and the stigma of alcoholism that i cant admit it to anyone but myself just now.
Should I tell my partner where im at? Is that part of recovery? I just dont know what to do.
I do fine i dont even WANT to drink most days its just the MINUTE something UTTERLY trivial goes wrong and i feel utterly COMPELLED to get smashed.
It never makes ANYTHING any better but i never seem to learn!
How does AA help with this? Im more than willing to go if it will help me to face my demons.
I keep wanting to return to being a social drinker but i cant get there- i dont enjoy it i dont want it for gods sake, i dont even like the taste of the stuff.
Why i drink is because ive used it as a crutch to deal with all my problems for such a long time that ive become almost unable to deal with things any other way .
Thank you again for replying it makes a big difference to know im not alone with this thing and im sorry if i sound like im wallowing in self pity too
I keep trying to call AA but it seems to be a permanent answer phone.
I want to go to a local meeting monday but im not sure if its ethical to just show up when i cant get through on the phone.
I have known and acccepted for a long time that i cant do this alone.
How important is honesty in all this? i feel completely unable to share my fears worries and constant struggle with ANYONE in my life- hence using this forum.
Im so obsessed with keeping up appearances and the stigma of alcoholism that i cant admit it to anyone but myself just now.
Should I tell my partner where im at? Is that part of recovery? I just dont know what to do.
I do fine i dont even WANT to drink most days its just the MINUTE something UTTERLY trivial goes wrong and i feel utterly COMPELLED to get smashed.
It never makes ANYTHING any better but i never seem to learn!
How does AA help with this? Im more than willing to go if it will help me to face my demons.
I keep wanting to return to being a social drinker but i cant get there- i dont enjoy it i dont want it for gods sake, i dont even like the taste of the stuff.
Why i drink is because ive used it as a crutch to deal with all my problems for such a long time that ive become almost unable to deal with things any other way .
Thank you again for replying it makes a big difference to know im not alone with this thing and im sorry if i sound like im wallowing in self pity too
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
welcome to SR.
please read to your heart's content here - there's a wealth of information to be found.
At the top of the Alcoholism forums - you'll find some information on the stickies (IN the stickies?) there, please keep posting, and others will be along as they come in and out to meet and greet.
Have you a plan of recovery?
please read to your heart's content here - there's a wealth of information to be found.
At the top of the Alcoholism forums - you'll find some information on the stickies (IN the stickies?) there, please keep posting, and others will be along as they come in and out to meet and greet.
Have you a plan of recovery?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Yeah, Barb's right. There's a lot of us here. Try and get to that meeting on Monday. you don't need a reservation - in fact they're probably saving a seat for you. In terms of getting honest - don't worry about that now. It'll come. Go to the meeting, see how it feels, and then try another. Keep posting, don't drink, and hope to hear more from you.
Oh - one more thing. My previous post that said I was 47? I'm 48. See? That honesty thing is still having trouble kicking in. Or I'm getting old and the memory's gone.
Mike
Oh - one more thing. My previous post that said I was 47? I'm 48. See? That honesty thing is still having trouble kicking in. Or I'm getting old and the memory's gone.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: home of the liquid sunshine-Florida
Posts: 294
Hi there, Welcome! This is great place to start. It seems to me you are worried about what everyone else will think...:"the stigma of alcoholisim". Honestly, I dont think it carries that much connotation with it any more.
Now, I could be wrong it wouldnt be the first time, but most people barely even flinch whenI tell them , no thanks, I am an alcoholic; much less running and screaming away. Myself, personally try to open up more about the diesease in public in case someone might hear me and might even start the wheels rolling.
I think a good way for you to get started is discuss this with your other half and find an AA meeting(or perhaps the other way around) if you dont like the AA meeting you go to find another one, they all are not the same. There are things w/in the rooms of AA that are special that helps lots and lots of people (from all walls of the universe) stay sober.
WELCOME, STAY , READ & HEED ADVICE its usually all given from the heart and from experience.
Star
Now, I could be wrong it wouldnt be the first time, but most people barely even flinch whenI tell them , no thanks, I am an alcoholic; much less running and screaming away. Myself, personally try to open up more about the diesease in public in case someone might hear me and might even start the wheels rolling.
I think a good way for you to get started is discuss this with your other half and find an AA meeting(or perhaps the other way around) if you dont like the AA meeting you go to find another one, they all are not the same. There are things w/in the rooms of AA that are special that helps lots and lots of people (from all walls of the universe) stay sober.
WELCOME, STAY , READ & HEED ADVICE its usually all given from the heart and from experience.
Star
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 157
Thanks again, im afraid im plagued with another disease called *terrified of what other people might think* now that, i DO blame on my upbringing.
Sometimes to be honest when im at a social gathering trying so hard to refuse alcohol i want to scream NO IM AN ALCOHOLIC AND I CANT HAVE IT! maybe it will give me some freedom to feel able to do that!!
I find it amazing that all three of us (siblings) have alcohol problems, in one shape or form. Can you BE pre disposed genetically- Im not making excuses honestly! my nan had an extensive problem that lasted many many years, but neither of our parents drink- my brother has had a chronic problem for as long as i can remember- my sister has struggled like me but SEEMS to have it under control- and i have previously been ok but have become dependant in the last 3- 4 years.
If its ok to just go to a meeting ill go to the monday evening one and yes- i think ill have to confess to my partner that im struggling, or rather that i never stopped struggling i just hid it well/ distracted myself/him.
And thanks again im so glad i found this forum as i was becoming so anxious and depressed earlier i almost went to go and buy alcohol.
Sometimes to be honest when im at a social gathering trying so hard to refuse alcohol i want to scream NO IM AN ALCOHOLIC AND I CANT HAVE IT! maybe it will give me some freedom to feel able to do that!!
I find it amazing that all three of us (siblings) have alcohol problems, in one shape or form. Can you BE pre disposed genetically- Im not making excuses honestly! my nan had an extensive problem that lasted many many years, but neither of our parents drink- my brother has had a chronic problem for as long as i can remember- my sister has struggled like me but SEEMS to have it under control- and i have previously been ok but have become dependant in the last 3- 4 years.
If its ok to just go to a meeting ill go to the monday evening one and yes- i think ill have to confess to my partner that im struggling, or rather that i never stopped struggling i just hid it well/ distracted myself/him.
And thanks again im so glad i found this forum as i was becoming so anxious and depressed earlier i almost went to go and buy alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Super
Welcome and congratulations on having the courage to share. Your "story" is oh so typical and familiar to all of us. You are not alone.
In your post you have identified a key to your recovery, should you seek it. I wonder if you realize it.
I don't know how familiar you are with the first step of AA, but you have come upon it in your own way.
Surrender and acceptance are opposite to fighting. We've all fought battles worthy of Napoleon. We're here because we lost. Time and again. We are powerless against this foe and surrender to it. We accept that it is more powerful than we.
Thus, you may in a far better place than you think. AA's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.
See something familiar here?
You have done a great job of coming upon for yourself what eludes millions still out there. Very well done.
Keep your post. Print it out. Hang it on the fridge. Read it daily. Believe in the honesty of what you wrote. It is a map to your future, should you wish to participate in it.
Now that you have identified your issue, are you WILLING to do something about it? Do you WANT a life no longer subject to external control? You can have it if you are willing to stop fighting, trying to manage what is unmanageable.
People here and elsewhere, far wiser than I, can help. You merely have to change nearly everything.
Are you willing? Do you want it badly enough. It sounds like it is a now or later thing, my friend. The demon ain't going away. The more you feed it, the stronger, more cunning and baffling it gets. The highest level of this video game is death. And the demon "owns" this game. He always wins.
Again, congratulations on your work. And welcome.
warren
Welcome and congratulations on having the courage to share. Your "story" is oh so typical and familiar to all of us. You are not alone.
In your post you have identified a key to your recovery, should you seek it. I wonder if you realize it.
Im starting to think its just going to get the better of me and i should just give in and accept it.
Surrender and acceptance are opposite to fighting. We've all fought battles worthy of Napoleon. We're here because we lost. Time and again. We are powerless against this foe and surrender to it. We accept that it is more powerful than we.
Thus, you may in a far better place than you think. AA's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results.
EVERYTHING HAS GONE FULL CIRCLE AND I FEEL EVEN MORE HELPLESS AND LESS ABLE TO ADDRESS IT AS I CAN SEE WHAT A PATHETIC FAILURE I AM!
You have done a great job of coming upon for yourself what eludes millions still out there. Very well done.
Keep your post. Print it out. Hang it on the fridge. Read it daily. Believe in the honesty of what you wrote. It is a map to your future, should you wish to participate in it.
Now that you have identified your issue, are you WILLING to do something about it? Do you WANT a life no longer subject to external control? You can have it if you are willing to stop fighting, trying to manage what is unmanageable.
People here and elsewhere, far wiser than I, can help. You merely have to change nearly everything.
Are you willing? Do you want it badly enough. It sounds like it is a now or later thing, my friend. The demon ain't going away. The more you feed it, the stronger, more cunning and baffling it gets. The highest level of this video game is death. And the demon "owns" this game. He always wins.
Again, congratulations on your work. And welcome.
warren
TheShyGirl (sex blogger)
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: France
Posts: 9
I feel for you.
Originally Posted by supernothing
wow thanks so much for responding to my post.
I keep trying to call AA but it seems to be a permanent answer phone.
I want to go to a local meeting monday but im not sure if its ethical to just show up when i cant get through on the phone.
I have known and acccepted for a long time that i cant do this alone.
How important is honesty in all this? i feel completely unable to share my fears worries and constant struggle with ANYONE in my life- hence using this forum.
Im so obsessed with keeping up appearances and the stigma of alcoholism that i cant admit it to anyone but myself just now.
Should I tell my partner where im at? Is that part of recovery? I just dont know what to do.
I do fine i dont even WANT to drink most days its just the MINUTE something UTTERLY trivial goes wrong and i feel utterly COMPELLED to get smashed.
It never makes ANYTHING any better but i never seem to learn!
How does AA help with this? Im more than willing to go if it will help me to face my demons.
I keep wanting to return to being a social drinker but i cant get there- i dont enjoy it i dont want it for gods sake, i dont even like the taste of the stuff.
Why i drink is because ive used it as a crutch to deal with all my problems for such a long time that ive become almost unable to deal with things any other way .
Thank you again for replying it makes a big difference to know im not alone with this thing and im sorry if i sound like im wallowing in self pity too
I keep trying to call AA but it seems to be a permanent answer phone.
I want to go to a local meeting monday but im not sure if its ethical to just show up when i cant get through on the phone.
I have known and acccepted for a long time that i cant do this alone.
How important is honesty in all this? i feel completely unable to share my fears worries and constant struggle with ANYONE in my life- hence using this forum.
Im so obsessed with keeping up appearances and the stigma of alcoholism that i cant admit it to anyone but myself just now.
Should I tell my partner where im at? Is that part of recovery? I just dont know what to do.
I do fine i dont even WANT to drink most days its just the MINUTE something UTTERLY trivial goes wrong and i feel utterly COMPELLED to get smashed.
It never makes ANYTHING any better but i never seem to learn!
How does AA help with this? Im more than willing to go if it will help me to face my demons.
I keep wanting to return to being a social drinker but i cant get there- i dont enjoy it i dont want it for gods sake, i dont even like the taste of the stuff.
Why i drink is because ive used it as a crutch to deal with all my problems for such a long time that ive become almost unable to deal with things any other way .
Thank you again for replying it makes a big difference to know im not alone with this thing and im sorry if i sound like im wallowing in self pity too
It's interesting you say that you "don't even like the taste of the stuff", and that you want to "return to being a social drinker". That's exactly how it was for me.
I only have to smell alcohol and I feel sick, but that didn't stop me drinking it up to 18 months ago; and, I so desperately wanted to be able to just drink socially - like everybody else - but I'm not like everyone else - I am an alcoholic.
Social drinking (in the UK at least) had got totally out of hand. It seems that alcohol goes hand in hand with practically every activity we do, which is probably why you choose to run 13 miles (there's no temptation to drink whilst you're exercising) and embark on various courses and that's a really good start. It's about re-focussing and distraction.
I understand fully your fear of admitting to others that you're an alcoholic and for me anyway, I didn't actually do that for the very reason you're talking about - not wanting to be judged. I got round the problem by admitting that I drink too much and that alcohol doesn't agree with me; in fact, it makes me violently ill. Close friends and family have accepted that and as far as any new people I meet, I just politely say that I'd rather have a soft drink because I don't like the taste of alcohol.
I've only actually admitted to being an alcoholic on this forum. I've never used that terminology elsewhere.
I know there must be many of you who disagree with me on that issue, but it did work for me. I was and still am able to refuse a drink, without the fear of criticism or judgement.
What I'm trying to say is that you don't have to go the whole hog and admit your failings to all and sundry in one go - take it one step at a time and you'll find that you can be as honest as you want to be in order to get you through to the next level. You don't have to strip right off all at once to reveal all your imperfections - take off the layers one at a time as and when you're feeling comfortable.
With regard to confessing to your partner, my guess is that he knows already! You may well find that by talking to him about your alcohol dependancy that he'll be very supportive and that alone will help you begin the recovery process.
I feel for you, honest I do!
Dunnit
Last edited by Dunnit; 03-29-2008 at 06:39 AM. Reason: Added a final paragraph
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 157
dunnit- thanks, can i ask wether you used AA and if not what methods did you use to stay away from it. I do really well for a couple of weeks then fool myself into thinking that ive got it under control- and ill just have *one glass* but i seem unable to do that and feel only angry and frustrated that i cant have more all the time.
Yes the excercise helps- i know im not physcially able to do as much if ive been drinking at the weekend.
I just want to know what my triggers are and how to avoid the negative thought patterns or at least RECOGNISE whats happening and why im feeling compelled to drink, im not sure what to expect from AA but if they can help me to maybe understand my mindset then that would be great.
I know im now an unhappy drunk aswell- it only serves to make me either agressive or tearful- another stupid reason for drinking AT ALL. but still i keep going back to it...........
Im amazed and touched by all your responses, maybe now ive found somewhere to vent and somewhere to come when i feel like drinking ill at least hit a month mark, maybe even two. i can only hope.
My partner is also alcohol dependant to a certain degree and almost seems to want to encourage me to drink with him as he seems completely unable to understand why i worry so much about my drinking and why i cant just kick back with him and have a *few beers*.... if only it were that simple....
Yes the excercise helps- i know im not physcially able to do as much if ive been drinking at the weekend.
I just want to know what my triggers are and how to avoid the negative thought patterns or at least RECOGNISE whats happening and why im feeling compelled to drink, im not sure what to expect from AA but if they can help me to maybe understand my mindset then that would be great.
I know im now an unhappy drunk aswell- it only serves to make me either agressive or tearful- another stupid reason for drinking AT ALL. but still i keep going back to it...........
Im amazed and touched by all your responses, maybe now ive found somewhere to vent and somewhere to come when i feel like drinking ill at least hit a month mark, maybe even two. i can only hope.
My partner is also alcohol dependant to a certain degree and almost seems to want to encourage me to drink with him as he seems completely unable to understand why i worry so much about my drinking and why i cant just kick back with him and have a *few beers*.... if only it were that simple....
being me
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 252
Hi SN,
Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way that you do. Why do I keep doing things that are obviously bad ideas? When will I realize that it really all has to stop?
I have done well with quitting my daily smoking habit, but am now realizing that I am drinking much too much. I always thought I could just be a social drinker (like so many others), but I think I should be striving to be the DD in the future. I want to be healthy and proud of myself.
This forum is a great support; we are not alone.
K
Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way that you do. Why do I keep doing things that are obviously bad ideas? When will I realize that it really all has to stop?
I have done well with quitting my daily smoking habit, but am now realizing that I am drinking much too much. I always thought I could just be a social drinker (like so many others), but I think I should be striving to be the DD in the future. I want to be healthy and proud of myself.
This forum is a great support; we are not alone.
K
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Welcome to SR.
You have a similar story to mine in that I never wanted to give up the drink completely, I always wanted to control it and looked to every other aspect of my life to fix except not drinking. In times where I would string together a week or two I found that when I did go back out it was as if I had never stopped. It was when I attacked the drink head on that I started to make progress towards recovery.
For me it took hitting my own rock bottom and accepting that I cannot drink. I didn't need to exercise more, I didn't need more stuff to do, I just simply cannot drink. I have an illness that causes my mind and body to react negatively to alcohol. Recovery is a tough process and I have relapsed but I never stopped going to AA meetings and that has helped me bounce back quickly from the mental parts of the relapse. AA keeps my heart and soul in the recovery process and they are not giving up through any set back.
It sounds like you have the desire to stop and that is all it takes to start the process of recovery. No one can force you, it needs to come from within. I suggest taking this next step, just ask yourself what are you willing to do to stop drinking? There are many resources out there and they are effective if you have the desire and the ambition to quit drinking.
AA and rehab work for me, but you may find other programs and methods. One of the reasons that AA is effective is the follow up and personal contact (sorry, 2 reasons). You get to see and experience 1st hand what other members have acheived in their sobriety. I suggest finding AA or a similar program that consistantly puts you into contact with others who have been successful in their sobriety.
Thank you for posting and I wish you a long and happy recovery!
You have a similar story to mine in that I never wanted to give up the drink completely, I always wanted to control it and looked to every other aspect of my life to fix except not drinking. In times where I would string together a week or two I found that when I did go back out it was as if I had never stopped. It was when I attacked the drink head on that I started to make progress towards recovery.
For me it took hitting my own rock bottom and accepting that I cannot drink. I didn't need to exercise more, I didn't need more stuff to do, I just simply cannot drink. I have an illness that causes my mind and body to react negatively to alcohol. Recovery is a tough process and I have relapsed but I never stopped going to AA meetings and that has helped me bounce back quickly from the mental parts of the relapse. AA keeps my heart and soul in the recovery process and they are not giving up through any set back.
It sounds like you have the desire to stop and that is all it takes to start the process of recovery. No one can force you, it needs to come from within. I suggest taking this next step, just ask yourself what are you willing to do to stop drinking? There are many resources out there and they are effective if you have the desire and the ambition to quit drinking.
AA and rehab work for me, but you may find other programs and methods. One of the reasons that AA is effective is the follow up and personal contact (sorry, 2 reasons). You get to see and experience 1st hand what other members have acheived in their sobriety. I suggest finding AA or a similar program that consistantly puts you into contact with others who have been successful in their sobriety.
Thank you for posting and I wish you a long and happy recovery!
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