New here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
New here
I'm new here, figured I might as well share my story.
Today I made the decision to get sober. Its not the first time i've made this decision, but Im hoping it will last this time.
Sorry in advance, this might be somewhat long.
I am 24 yrs old. Growing up I was never around alcohol. My mother does not drink EVER, never has so alcohol was not something I was exposed to. I kept myself out of the "bad" crowd in HS, though a wk before graduation was my first drink.
When I went away to college I would go out and party, sometimes a little bit too much, but i didn't have a problem (yet). The summer at sophomore year I had to move back home due to several things. When I moved back home, I was miserable b/c I didn't be here (and still don't). I made some friends at my university here. We would go out at least twice a week, sometimes as many as 5 days a week, but this being a collegetown, that is normal, plus it was so cheap. Saturdays our favorite bar had $5 AYCD so it was cheaper than going to the movies. On Wednesdays they had Girls drink free, so b/c it was the cheapest form of fun we did it often. At this point still didn't have a problem. I could drink resonably and responsibly.
2.5 yrs ago I was raped by an acquaintance, due to the circumstances the case never even went to trial. I even had to pay my own hospital bill. It was shortly after that drinking did become I problem. I drank to deal with my feelings, I drank to forget. There were more than a few nights I had to be carried out of the bar, I would wake up at home and not know how I got there. There were several times after these nights that I would quit drinking but the most I ever lasted sober was 2 wks.
I don't crave alcohol on a daily basis, so I would convince myself I didn't have a problem. However, I can't remember the last time I drank that I didn't black out. If I have more than 2 drinks, I will drink until its gone or I pass out or I puke. So yea, definitely a problem there!
Anyway I could go on... but I'll sum this up.
This wknd I spent some time with my niece who is 16. Both nights she was here, we went for dinner at a restaurant that serves drinks. I choose them specifically b/c I could get a drink with dinner. Last night after I got home and she left, I drank half a handle of rum. I woke up this morning on the couch- I had to be up to go to work at my church. Easter sunday and I do believe I was still slightly drunk when I went to work. After service we went out for a nice dinner and I couldn't even eat my steak and keep it down. When we came home I went straight to bed and slept for 7 hrs. So I missed spendiing easter w/ my family. I woke up and decided it was time to make that step and try again. I poured the last half a handle of rum down the drain as well as half a bottle of SoCo.
This is going to be hard because NO ONE recognizes that I have a problem, but I do. Now that iI don't go out all the time anymore, I mostly hide my alcohol in my room and drink alone late at night after mom is in bed. Usually I don't have to be anywhere until after noon, so I can pull myself together by then.
I guess this is a good day to start getting sober since its easter and easter is about new life and rebirth.
Today I made the decision to get sober. Its not the first time i've made this decision, but Im hoping it will last this time.
Sorry in advance, this might be somewhat long.
I am 24 yrs old. Growing up I was never around alcohol. My mother does not drink EVER, never has so alcohol was not something I was exposed to. I kept myself out of the "bad" crowd in HS, though a wk before graduation was my first drink.
When I went away to college I would go out and party, sometimes a little bit too much, but i didn't have a problem (yet). The summer at sophomore year I had to move back home due to several things. When I moved back home, I was miserable b/c I didn't be here (and still don't). I made some friends at my university here. We would go out at least twice a week, sometimes as many as 5 days a week, but this being a collegetown, that is normal, plus it was so cheap. Saturdays our favorite bar had $5 AYCD so it was cheaper than going to the movies. On Wednesdays they had Girls drink free, so b/c it was the cheapest form of fun we did it often. At this point still didn't have a problem. I could drink resonably and responsibly.
2.5 yrs ago I was raped by an acquaintance, due to the circumstances the case never even went to trial. I even had to pay my own hospital bill. It was shortly after that drinking did become I problem. I drank to deal with my feelings, I drank to forget. There were more than a few nights I had to be carried out of the bar, I would wake up at home and not know how I got there. There were several times after these nights that I would quit drinking but the most I ever lasted sober was 2 wks.
I don't crave alcohol on a daily basis, so I would convince myself I didn't have a problem. However, I can't remember the last time I drank that I didn't black out. If I have more than 2 drinks, I will drink until its gone or I pass out or I puke. So yea, definitely a problem there!
Anyway I could go on... but I'll sum this up.
This wknd I spent some time with my niece who is 16. Both nights she was here, we went for dinner at a restaurant that serves drinks. I choose them specifically b/c I could get a drink with dinner. Last night after I got home and she left, I drank half a handle of rum. I woke up this morning on the couch- I had to be up to go to work at my church. Easter sunday and I do believe I was still slightly drunk when I went to work. After service we went out for a nice dinner and I couldn't even eat my steak and keep it down. When we came home I went straight to bed and slept for 7 hrs. So I missed spendiing easter w/ my family. I woke up and decided it was time to make that step and try again. I poured the last half a handle of rum down the drain as well as half a bottle of SoCo.
This is going to be hard because NO ONE recognizes that I have a problem, but I do. Now that iI don't go out all the time anymore, I mostly hide my alcohol in my room and drink alone late at night after mom is in bed. Usually I don't have to be anywhere until after noon, so I can pull myself together by then.
I guess this is a good day to start getting sober since its easter and easter is about new life and rebirth.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,469
Welcome to SR. You may need to see a dr about detox. Alcohol detox can be fatal. Have you thought of going to AA? That is what I do and it is working.
Welcome again and please keep posting.
PS....I love being sober.
Welcome again and please keep posting.
PS....I love being sober.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
I know some about alcohol detox. I don't think I'll have any bad problems, since I have only been drinking two nights a week, but when I do drink I drink massive amts. Last time I quit the only detox symptom I had was itching everywhere, but I think that may have been more of a psychosomatic thing.
I have thought about going to AA but i'm a very shy, independent person and I just don't know that I would feel comfortable at meetings. Plus when I looked up the meetings for my town, I was confused as to which one I should go to. I think I'll try it on my own, but I am going to try to go see a counselor on campus tomorrow to see if they have any suggestions or alternatives to AA.
I have thought about going to AA but i'm a very shy, independent person and I just don't know that I would feel comfortable at meetings. Plus when I looked up the meetings for my town, I was confused as to which one I should go to. I think I'll try it on my own, but I am going to try to go see a counselor on campus tomorrow to see if they have any suggestions or alternatives to AA.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Welcome Stormy,
I don't know the meeting situation in your vicinity but if you call the AA hotline or even go to AA online you can get information about various meeting types. From your post and past experience you might be more comfortable at Womens meetings to start.
I recommend AA because it works for me. I've been through many rehabs and such, all of them recommended getting connected to the program for sustained sobriety. Folks are different. The main thing to remember is it's your recovery, whatever works for you is the right thing.
God's Peace
I don't know the meeting situation in your vicinity but if you call the AA hotline or even go to AA online you can get information about various meeting types. From your post and past experience you might be more comfortable at Womens meetings to start.
I recommend AA because it works for me. I've been through many rehabs and such, all of them recommended getting connected to the program for sustained sobriety. Folks are different. The main thing to remember is it's your recovery, whatever works for you is the right thing.
God's Peace
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Welcome.
If I need evening meetings I go to womens only ones. I'm fine going to mixed meetings during the day.
My thoughts are with you. Stick around SR, you will find some awesome people here.
If I need evening meetings I go to womens only ones. I'm fine going to mixed meetings during the day.
My thoughts are with you. Stick around SR, you will find some awesome people here.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 386
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hello Stormy and Welcome!
Please go to our Alcoholism Forum
the top 3 sticky post have information
you will find helpful.
1 is about de tox
2. explains the disease of alcoholism
3. is a list of recovery programs.
I do hope you keep us posted.
A healthey sober future is possible for you too!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone.
So far I'm doing alright. Yesterday I slept from 1pm-5pm then again from 6pm-9pm. Figured I wouldn't be able to sleep last night, but went to bed at 11 and slept til 8 this morning and still feel exhausted. My stomach is still in that nauseous, queezy stage and I'm still embarrassed by a few things that happened Saturday night so I'm not even remotely tempted to drink right now. Its when the wknd rolls around, my stomachs feeling better and the embarrasement has faded, that I'll want it.
Pretty much all my wknd activites revolve around drinking. Rent a movie.. and get smashed... do computer stuff and get drunk. Go out to a concert and get drunk. I'm not sure something I can plan that doesn't involve drinking. Maybe i'll plan a trip or something for saturday morning that will keep me from drinking on Friday night. THe beach maybe? or take the dogs hiking? I don't just thinking outloud.
I also have a trip to Boise to meet a friend in a week that scares me. I know already that it will be tempting.
So far I'm doing alright. Yesterday I slept from 1pm-5pm then again from 6pm-9pm. Figured I wouldn't be able to sleep last night, but went to bed at 11 and slept til 8 this morning and still feel exhausted. My stomach is still in that nauseous, queezy stage and I'm still embarrassed by a few things that happened Saturday night so I'm not even remotely tempted to drink right now. Its when the wknd rolls around, my stomachs feeling better and the embarrasement has faded, that I'll want it.
Pretty much all my wknd activites revolve around drinking. Rent a movie.. and get smashed... do computer stuff and get drunk. Go out to a concert and get drunk. I'm not sure something I can plan that doesn't involve drinking. Maybe i'll plan a trip or something for saturday morning that will keep me from drinking on Friday night. THe beach maybe? or take the dogs hiking? I don't just thinking outloud.
I also have a trip to Boise to meet a friend in a week that scares me. I know already that it will be tempting.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Welcome to SR! A desire to quit is all you need to start the process.
I won't label you an alcoholic, only you can come to that conclusion. It does sound like your drinking has gotten to the point where you want to quit. I won't repeat any of the detox info from above, what has been said is good advice. I would suggest starting simple - don't drink today. Then, read up on your disease. I usually suggest at least reading Dr. Bob's Nightmare from the AA Big Book (online at alcoholics anonymous web site). This has a good description of the progression of alcoholism in a successful persons life.
I would also suggest looking into a 12 step program such as AA (my support program of choice)or another program for sobriety to help with quitting. I have yet to see anyone quit on their own who thought that they needed to quit. A program such as AA is a great tool for sobriety (I feel that it is worth repeating this point over and over again).
Good luck and keep the sobriety train rolling on!
I won't label you an alcoholic, only you can come to that conclusion. It does sound like your drinking has gotten to the point where you want to quit. I won't repeat any of the detox info from above, what has been said is good advice. I would suggest starting simple - don't drink today. Then, read up on your disease. I usually suggest at least reading Dr. Bob's Nightmare from the AA Big Book (online at alcoholics anonymous web site). This has a good description of the progression of alcoholism in a successful persons life.
I would also suggest looking into a 12 step program such as AA (my support program of choice)or another program for sobriety to help with quitting. I have yet to see anyone quit on their own who thought that they needed to quit. A program such as AA is a great tool for sobriety (I feel that it is worth repeating this point over and over again).
Good luck and keep the sobriety train rolling on!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Thank you again for the welcome msgs and advice.
I've already read several books and such on the disease the other times I've tried to get sober. I also had to take a 4 day class about alcoholism after I got my DUI. It runs in both of my birth parents family. However I never saw the consequences of it b/c everyone had either gotten sober or was not around anymore.
I've been browsing and reading the board for most of the day. I'm considering going to a meeting after dance class tonight. But I'm still not sure AA is the way I want to go. I did find an article online where my university had started their own AA meetings for students, but I can't find when and where they meet. As soon as I track that info down, I'll go to one of those.
I've already read several books and such on the disease the other times I've tried to get sober. I also had to take a 4 day class about alcoholism after I got my DUI. It runs in both of my birth parents family. However I never saw the consequences of it b/c everyone had either gotten sober or was not around anymore.
I've been browsing and reading the board for most of the day. I'm considering going to a meeting after dance class tonight. But I'm still not sure AA is the way I want to go. I did find an article online where my university had started their own AA meetings for students, but I can't find when and where they meet. As soon as I track that info down, I'll go to one of those.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Georgia
Posts: 63
Today was interesting. I don't think I had any idea yesterday how much I had to drink last week- which was much more than a "normal" week. It was spring break Plus I had access to liquor for the first time in over 1 yr (live in a dry county and haven't had a car since last spring break, but just bought a new one), and I've always preferred the hard stuff.
Had nauseous stomach most of the day. And i've been really pissy and having the poor "why me" attitude. Also have had a really fuzzy brain and could smell the alcohol still coming out of my pores when I sweated at dance tonight.
Took a drive by the AA place when I got out of dance, but couldn't bring myself to stop in. Still scared I'll see someone I know, this is a small town.
Then heard from a friend who clued me into some of the stuff I said when I called him saturday. I was beyond embarrassed.
But I made it through today without drinking!
Had nauseous stomach most of the day. And i've been really pissy and having the poor "why me" attitude. Also have had a really fuzzy brain and could smell the alcohol still coming out of my pores when I sweated at dance tonight.
Took a drive by the AA place when I got out of dance, but couldn't bring myself to stop in. Still scared I'll see someone I know, this is a small town.
Then heard from a friend who clued me into some of the stuff I said when I called him saturday. I was beyond embarrassed.
But I made it through today without drinking!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
Posts: 55
Quote: "Took a drive by the AA place when I got out of dance, but couldn't bring myself to stop in. Still scared I'll see someone I know, this is a small town."
Please let me know how you make it to your first meeting. Maybe you and I can make a pact to go on the same date and time. No chickening out. I need to go......soon.
Please let me know how you make it to your first meeting. Maybe you and I can make a pact to go on the same date and time. No chickening out. I need to go......soon.
Last edited by Oddman; 03-24-2008 at 08:30 PM. Reason: wanted to make it a quote
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