How do you start?
How do you start?
I mentioned earlier that I have tried to stop drinking for 18 months. But I don't know how to start stopping. The books are great, and I love reading them, usually with a beer, or 12. Then the regret hits, usually as I'm getting ready for bed and wondering why I did what I did. About where I am right now. I don't know if I can go to a meeting. I want to, but i really don't want to see my dad there. I have issues that have never been addressed. Maybe I'm just beyond help?
Or you could try a different meeting.
To start means to stop.
How I stopped was by not picking up that first one.
One day or moment if need be...say no to that first one and when the day is through, you have a day sober. Repeat the next day. Deal with it one day at a time.
To start means to stop.
How I stopped was by not picking up that first one.
One day or moment if need be...say no to that first one and when the day is through, you have a day sober. Repeat the next day. Deal with it one day at a time.
There is always, always hope!
First thing, have you talked to your dr because detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous.
For me, getting through the first week, involved planning. I knew when I would want to drink, and I had to be doing something else at the time. It can be simple. I started going out for a walk after supper. That helped in many ways. But, changing routines in the first couple of weeks really helped break the habit part of the drinking. I tried to establish new physical patterns in my life, so I could try to get mind together and move on the spiritual part of recovery.
Take it slow, don't keep alcohol in the house, avoid situations where alcohol is present. You can do it!
First thing, have you talked to your dr because detoxing from alcohol can be very dangerous.
For me, getting through the first week, involved planning. I knew when I would want to drink, and I had to be doing something else at the time. It can be simple. I started going out for a walk after supper. That helped in many ways. But, changing routines in the first couple of weeks really helped break the habit part of the drinking. I tried to establish new physical patterns in my life, so I could try to get mind together and move on the spiritual part of recovery.
Take it slow, don't keep alcohol in the house, avoid situations where alcohol is present. You can do it!
-start by just not drinking-
I know, this is the hardest part.
You have to be commited! Can you make it one day without drink? Just one day....you can do it. Just ONE day. 24rs, hey its a start. Do you have buddies or family who might support you?
Go to a meeting, even if your Dad is there, he cannot kick you out. Or pick one where you know he won't be there.
Make it one day and then build on it....eventually. I believe you can do it.
I know, this is the hardest part.
You have to be commited! Can you make it one day without drink? Just one day....you can do it. Just ONE day. 24rs, hey its a start. Do you have buddies or family who might support you?
Go to a meeting, even if your Dad is there, he cannot kick you out. Or pick one where you know he won't be there.
Make it one day and then build on it....eventually. I believe you can do it.
go to your doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't try and detox without help it can be very dangerous. Once you have done that, then decide what to do next. Keep it simple and take one day at a time. There is AA, drug and alcohol counseling, psychologists, therapists, help lines and sober recovery and that's just for starters. Only you will find what works for you but you are the only one who can do it for yourself, but the amount of support out there is fantastic and it comes in all flavors to suit you needs but you have to ask. You'll be amazed at the response you get!!!
I have been seriously trying to quit drinking since January 2006 (self-help books, addictions counselling, journalling, praying, keeping busy, family support, self-control) - managed 3 good periods of sobriety/moderating (it was a good life of sorts) but it never lasted and I finally accepted that I could not achieve sobriety & peace without the help of other alcoholics.
December 17, 2007 - first AA meeting, joined SR - my sobriety date. Today, my sobriety is strong & I feel good but I have to keep working hard.
I don't know what your issues are with your dad but if local meetings really aren't an option, perhaps go out of town? The first people I talked to about AA were my uncles (AA, sober for decades). It was very humbling but they weren't surprised that I was struggling (other people were concerned about me & had talked to them, alcoholism is rampant in our family). They were very happy to help me - people in AA always seem to be willing to help. I just had to take a deep breath and reach out. AA may well have saved my life. As you are interested in AA, I really encourage you to get to a meeting by whatever means possible. You are not beyond help.
December 17, 2007 - first AA meeting, joined SR - my sobriety date. Today, my sobriety is strong & I feel good but I have to keep working hard.
I don't know what your issues are with your dad but if local meetings really aren't an option, perhaps go out of town? The first people I talked to about AA were my uncles (AA, sober for decades). It was very humbling but they weren't surprised that I was struggling (other people were concerned about me & had talked to them, alcoholism is rampant in our family). They were very happy to help me - people in AA always seem to be willing to help. I just had to take a deep breath and reach out. AA may well have saved my life. As you are interested in AA, I really encourage you to get to a meeting by whatever means possible. You are not beyond help.
You have the desire to quit, which happens to be the only requirement for AA membership.
The next thought that comes to me is maybe asking yourself - What am I willing to do to stay sober today? Going to a meeting is always a good answer but you have to come up with that on your own. The idea behind my thought is to think small. Don't worry about things that you cannot control like your dad being at an AA meeting. Think about something that you can control like meeting with a treatment counselor.
If you are going to be quitting cold turkey (or even tapering off), seeking medical and professional advice is great as well.
The important thing to remember is that you are not hopeless, you are hopeful, otherwise you would not be here to begin with.
Keep posting and keep asking questions!
The next thought that comes to me is maybe asking yourself - What am I willing to do to stay sober today? Going to a meeting is always a good answer but you have to come up with that on your own. The idea behind my thought is to think small. Don't worry about things that you cannot control like your dad being at an AA meeting. Think about something that you can control like meeting with a treatment counselor.
If you are going to be quitting cold turkey (or even tapering off), seeking medical and professional advice is great as well.
The important thing to remember is that you are not hopeless, you are hopeful, otherwise you would not be here to begin with.
Keep posting and keep asking questions!
hi ODD!
Welcome!
well, first - you make a decision.
then - you contact yer doc.
be completely honest.
find out what is the safest options for you.
right now -
this is not about our dad.
this is about you.
that's only two things for right now.
how's that for a start?
Welcome!
well, first - you make a decision.
then - you contact yer doc.
be completely honest.
find out what is the safest options for you.
right now -
this is not about our dad.
this is about you.
that's only two things for right now.
how's that for a start?
Best said it very well, just don't pick up that first drink on the first day. Stay strong and don't pick up at all that day and at the end of it you'll have one day sober. Do the same thing the second day. And do consult a doctor. All the best to you. You can do it. Just do it one day at a time. :ghug3:praying
about your issues with your dad: counseling might be a good way to address those issues. You can't change him, but you can change your attitude and behavior and how you deal with these 'issues'. I understand very well. I go to counseling once a week and it helps tremendously to deal with issues in my life, some of which led me to drink.
about your issues with your dad: counseling might be a good way to address those issues. You can't change him, but you can change your attitude and behavior and how you deal with these 'issues'. I understand very well. I go to counseling once a week and it helps tremendously to deal with issues in my life, some of which led me to drink.
Thank you
Everyone here has been a great help so far. I'm not going to drink today! We're going to a family Easter BBQ, usually my grandfather-inlaw offers me beer, and then progresses somehow to Wild Turkey! I am making a conscious effort not to drink today. We'll see about tomorrow. Still haven't got the nerve to go to a meeting.
I stopped making excuses.
Went to meetings every night instead of a package liquor store or a bar.
If, you have a lic. , offer to pick up people that don't to take them to a meeting. Help set up the meeting and stay around to clean up. Offer to chair a meeting, get involved with any activities in and out of the rooms.
Went to meetings every night instead of a package liquor store or a bar.
If, you have a lic. , offer to pick up people that don't to take them to a meeting. Help set up the meeting and stay around to clean up. Offer to chair a meeting, get involved with any activities in and out of the rooms.
There have been many threads on attending the first AA meeting since I joined SR. In my case, I was just coming off a bender, nervous, scared, embarassed...just getting through the door was a big accomplishment. It really only took a couple of meetings to start feeling okay about attending. Recently, I commented at a meeting that I am now so comfortable and I feel like I am home. It's starting to feel like old friends helping each other. Honestly, in retrospect, I wish I would have started working the AA program sooner in my life but perhaps I wasn't ready.
Take care at your BBQ today. D
Take care at your BBQ today. D
When you are ready to quit you may consider avoiding situations where alcohol is being served or offered to you. When you are early in recovery the temptation to drink is tough to over come and you don't want to give it a helping hand.
The key words being - when you are ready
Good luck today and keep trying!
The key words being - when you are ready
Good luck today and keep trying!
made it thru the BBQ
no drinks today. Was offered one right away as I knew I would be. Said not today. Then while eating the budweisers looked really good. Had 2 diet cokes a root beer and 2 bottles of water. Glad I didn't drink. But I feel nervous about the next time. Will try to get to a meeting this week. Such a hectic life. Kids, work, 19 units at school 2 nights a week, loving wife. I know, excuses right? I made it today. Also got a 5 mile run in. A successful day 1!
Last edited by Oddman; 03-23-2008 at 08:03 PM. Reason: misspelling
The next time doesn't need be worried about till it gets here.
You can be truthful but not direct if you need.
Would you like a drink?
No thank you.
I am not drinking today.
Not today, I want a clear head for my studies this week.
Thank you but I am all set.
Yes I would like a diet coke or rootbeer if you have one.
or you can even tell them... I don't drink any more.
They may ask a second or third time even if you tell them you don't drink any more. Still a polite...No thank you repeated has worked for me.
Good job on making the day.
Congratulations.
You can be truthful but not direct if you need.
Would you like a drink?
No thank you.
I am not drinking today.
Not today, I want a clear head for my studies this week.
Thank you but I am all set.
Yes I would like a diet coke or rootbeer if you have one.
or you can even tell them... I don't drink any more.
They may ask a second or third time even if you tell them you don't drink any more. Still a polite...No thank you repeated has worked for me.
Good job on making the day.
Congratulations.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
You and your young family deserve a positive future
and that can happen without alcohol.
Please read the 2nd sticky post here..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/
....Keep posting ...we do understand.
and that can happen without alcohol.
Please read the 2nd sticky post here..
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/
....Keep posting ...we do understand.
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