Trying for 18 months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Redondo Beach, CA
Posts: 55
Trying for 18 months
I bought all the books. Big Book, First Year Sobriety, As Bill Sees It, Drinking: A Love Story, Came to Believe...........the list goes on. They're all in the bottom of my sock drawer. I don't tell anyone I have them. Not even my wife. Especially not my wife. If I tell her I have to try and stay sober. I know I have a problem, but I just opened a beer. My God!! What is wrong with me? I have the list of meetings, and dates and times, but I can't make myself go. It's scary....I'm 29, and most of my problems have been alcohol related. But I manage. I function, and if I told people I had a problem, I don't think they'd believe me. This is the first concrete thing I have done to try and achieve sobriety. Maybe I'll just erase this. Or post it before I can.............
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi Oddman,
Admitting you have a problem is a big step towards recovery. I'm glad you're looking around here and getting information. One thing I would say is, don't base your decision about stopping drinking on what other people think. It's something you need to do for yourself.
By the way, 'Drinking: A Love Story' was a huge catalyst to change for me. I just thought that if she could do it, maybe I could do it. It gave me my first glimmer of hoper.
Admitting you have a problem is a big step towards recovery. I'm glad you're looking around here and getting information. One thing I would say is, don't base your decision about stopping drinking on what other people think. It's something you need to do for yourself.
By the way, 'Drinking: A Love Story' was a huge catalyst to change for me. I just thought that if she could do it, maybe I could do it. It gave me my first glimmer of hoper.
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi hon,
You're on the right road, I can relate to that insanity. Why don't you open the big book and start reading...I used to do that with glass of wine in hand LOL! Something will sink in, I htink!
It did for me! Also having the meeting lists is a great start...why don't you pick a day, phone them and ask for someone to meet you at the door so you don't chicken out - you won't regret it in fact this could be the start of the best part of your whole life!
Good luck!
Cathy31
x
You're on the right road, I can relate to that insanity. Why don't you open the big book and start reading...I used to do that with glass of wine in hand LOL! Something will sink in, I htink!
It did for me! Also having the meeting lists is a great start...why don't you pick a day, phone them and ask for someone to meet you at the door so you don't chicken out - you won't regret it in fact this could be the start of the best part of your whole life! Good luck!
Cathy31
x
itsteetime
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Commerce Township, Michigan
Posts: 1
Knowing that I had a problem and admitting it to other AAs was difficult. However, when I told my friends, they were happy to hear that I had "admitted it". They have all been supportive ... including my wife.
For me, admitting my problem was the key to sobriety.
For me, admitting my problem was the key to sobriety.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I didn't get into trouble every time I drank
But, every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking
A social drinker doesn't have alcohol problems.
Any problems I've had in life were only compounded from my drinking
But, every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking
A social drinker doesn't have alcohol problems.
Any problems I've had in life were only compounded from my drinking
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Yeah Oddman, admitting to others is a scary thing, because you know you can't go back to that life without admitting that you failed.
I could be wrong, but I'd bet dinner that your wife is well aware of your problem. What she may not know is that you recognize it.
A lot of us want a "safety net." An escape route if we fail. So we can return to our "comfort zone."
But think. Are you really in a comfort zone? Perhaps your wife isn't threatening you, you're not in jeopardy of losing your job. But if you were in a comfort zone, those books wouldn't be there. You know that your head is full of turmoil. You live a life of hiding. If you're not hiding your drinking you're hiding your awareness that you are not the man in control you pretend to be. You have a tightly held secret. That's no comfort zone, my friend, and many here will tell you that it NEVER gets better, It ONLY gets worse. This is a progressive, terminal disease. Only removing the source entirely can stave it off.
You can erase a message, but you cannot erase the tape in your head. Once "you know" you cannot make it go away, you can only let it eat you up. And it will, I guarantee it.
This will kill you. If not your body, it will kill your spirit. Only the alcohol is more dangerous than the secret in your sock drawer.
Yep, if you tell your wife you can never turn back. You will have to "try" to stay sober. Sobriety. Would that be a gift or a curse? Think about it.
Nothing separates you from anyone here who is sober except one thing. Those who are recovering overcame their fear of failure. For some of us it took a 2x4 over the head. For others it was the law. The loss of a spouse or their entire family. The loss of a job. The loss of self esteem. The loss of dignity. Your comfort zone is a chimera, a mirage. There is nothing there to really lose. There is only your life to gain.
Best to you! Keep coming back. This is a very safe place.
warrens
I could be wrong, but I'd bet dinner that your wife is well aware of your problem. What she may not know is that you recognize it.
A lot of us want a "safety net." An escape route if we fail. So we can return to our "comfort zone."
But think. Are you really in a comfort zone? Perhaps your wife isn't threatening you, you're not in jeopardy of losing your job. But if you were in a comfort zone, those books wouldn't be there. You know that your head is full of turmoil. You live a life of hiding. If you're not hiding your drinking you're hiding your awareness that you are not the man in control you pretend to be. You have a tightly held secret. That's no comfort zone, my friend, and many here will tell you that it NEVER gets better, It ONLY gets worse. This is a progressive, terminal disease. Only removing the source entirely can stave it off.
You can erase a message, but you cannot erase the tape in your head. Once "you know" you cannot make it go away, you can only let it eat you up. And it will, I guarantee it.
This will kill you. If not your body, it will kill your spirit. Only the alcohol is more dangerous than the secret in your sock drawer.
Yep, if you tell your wife you can never turn back. You will have to "try" to stay sober. Sobriety. Would that be a gift or a curse? Think about it.
Nothing separates you from anyone here who is sober except one thing. Those who are recovering overcame their fear of failure. For some of us it took a 2x4 over the head. For others it was the law. The loss of a spouse or their entire family. The loss of a job. The loss of self esteem. The loss of dignity. Your comfort zone is a chimera, a mirage. There is nothing there to really lose. There is only your life to gain.
Best to you! Keep coming back. This is a very safe place.
warrens
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Oddman
Read up on those books, I've read all of them, when drinking. Actually, I've been thinking about cocktails very much lately. Its quite disturbing for a recovering boozer like myself. Its raining here & much the weather for beer drinking, cigs & bar lounging. However, I will not drink today, nope, can't do it. Nope, nope. Anyways, educate yourself and what not--you'll be ready eventually.
Read up on those books, I've read all of them, when drinking. Actually, I've been thinking about cocktails very much lately. Its quite disturbing for a recovering boozer like myself. Its raining here & much the weather for beer drinking, cigs & bar lounging. However, I will not drink today, nope, can't do it. Nope, nope. Anyways, educate yourself and what not--you'll be ready eventually.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hi again Odds -
funny thing I noticed when I got sober ...
when we drank - we thought nobody saw us.
when we get sober..we think everyone is watching.
neither one is true.
wierd, isn't it?
funny thing I noticed when I got sober ...
when we drank - we thought nobody saw us.
when we get sober..we think everyone is watching.
neither one is true.
wierd, isn't it?
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