A hello... and a question about how you first defined a problem
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5
A hello... and a question about how you first defined a problem
Hi all, just wanted to say hello. This seems like a helpful and friendly forum.
I wanted to ask how you all first thought of yourself as an alcoholic? The fact that I here writing this can only mean that I am now thinking of myself that way but after reading your stories it seems my problems pale in comparison to many.
So I define myself as an alcoholic because I drink every day and have done for about 8 years. It started with a beer a day but has slowly increased. Now I drink 6 bottles of beer a day easily and will drink more than that at least once a week. I usually drink alone. But otherwise I have no stories of fights or accidents or dramas. No problems at work or with friends and family.
I think of myself as an alcoholic because I crave that drink every day. And I am worried because I know it will just keep getting worse.
I have read a lot about how the first step is to actually want to stop drinking. Im not sure I am at that point yet because I enjoy it. But I want to want to stop it (if that makes sense
)
Anyway, thanks for reading and apologies if I am regurgitating old threads.
- C
I wanted to ask how you all first thought of yourself as an alcoholic? The fact that I here writing this can only mean that I am now thinking of myself that way but after reading your stories it seems my problems pale in comparison to many.
So I define myself as an alcoholic because I drink every day and have done for about 8 years. It started with a beer a day but has slowly increased. Now I drink 6 bottles of beer a day easily and will drink more than that at least once a week. I usually drink alone. But otherwise I have no stories of fights or accidents or dramas. No problems at work or with friends and family.
I think of myself as an alcoholic because I crave that drink every day. And I am worried because I know it will just keep getting worse.
I have read a lot about how the first step is to actually want to stop drinking. Im not sure I am at that point yet because I enjoy it. But I want to want to stop it (if that makes sense
)Anyway, thanks for reading and apologies if I am regurgitating old threads.
- C
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
hi chuchu -
and welcome to the posting side of the boards!
well ... one way... alcoholics don't usually have any problems drinking.
alcoholics ... have problems .. stopping.
just a thought.
it's not a good idea to get into comparing your 'story' with others.
iut sets up a competition with others that ...
you're never going to 'win'.
I mean really -what's to be 'won'.
And many people who post here - drank alone.
it's difficult to get into trouble when one drinks alone.
WHich is pretty much the point.
Until one factors in ..loneliness.
or isolation.
of hesitation to do other activities -
because it interferes with that set aside time ...
for drinking.
small factors like that.
I mean ... *shrug*
drama ... is what helped me quit.
you know the whole hand of God thing is a tough one to deny.
but .. I'm hard headed.
again - welcome!
did you read the 'under the influence' stickies in the alcohol forums? there's good information there - as well as maybe buying the book = it discusses the long term effects of alcohol consumption on the body,and the social effects as well.
the last thing that gets said a good deal is -
to put as much energy into stopping ..
as one put into the drinking.
there's so many other things in life -
beautiful things-
to center one's life around.
and welcome to the posting side of the boards!
well ... one way... alcoholics don't usually have any problems drinking.
alcoholics ... have problems .. stopping.
just a thought.
it's not a good idea to get into comparing your 'story' with others.
iut sets up a competition with others that ...
you're never going to 'win'.
I mean really -what's to be 'won'.
And many people who post here - drank alone.
it's difficult to get into trouble when one drinks alone.
WHich is pretty much the point.
Until one factors in ..loneliness.
or isolation.
of hesitation to do other activities -
because it interferes with that set aside time ...
for drinking.
small factors like that.
I mean ... *shrug*
drama ... is what helped me quit.
you know the whole hand of God thing is a tough one to deny.
but .. I'm hard headed.
again - welcome!
did you read the 'under the influence' stickies in the alcohol forums? there's good information there - as well as maybe buying the book = it discusses the long term effects of alcohol consumption on the body,and the social effects as well.
the last thing that gets said a good deal is -
to put as much energy into stopping ..
as one put into the drinking.
there's so many other things in life -
beautiful things-
to center one's life around.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!
I never knew exactly what day or drink
slid me into alcoholism.
I considered myself to be an alcoholic
when I continued to drink...though I wanted to quit.
Please read this link for information
It's the one Barb mentioned above.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Glad to see you here with us...
I never knew exactly what day or drink
slid me into alcoholism.
I considered myself to be an alcoholic
when I continued to drink...though I wanted to quit.
Please read this link for information
It's the one Barb mentioned above.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Glad to see you here with us...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5
Thanks for the replies and for the heads up on the book to both of you. I havent heard of it before but looks like a vital read. I will pick it up at the weekend.
I guess this is a beginning for me...
I guess this is a beginning for me...
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Welcome to SR!
I never knew exactly what day or drink
slid me into alcoholism.
I considered myself to be an alcoholic
when I continued to drink...though I wanted to quit.
I never knew exactly what day or drink
slid me into alcoholism.
I considered myself to be an alcoholic
when I continued to drink...though I wanted to quit.
Thanks Carol and welcome Chuchu! Alcoholism is tricky - it's not how much or how often you drink (e.g. you drink way more than I ever did, but I had lots of consequences in my home and work life even though I drank less than you) I think continuing to drink even though you want to quit is a good starting point...as is having a problem with just 'leaving it' (the drink) for 30 days - non alcoholics couldn't care less.
My advice to you would be to read the many wonderful threads here and identify where you can and take it from there.
There is a solution!
Welcome again!
Cathy31
x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Chuchu
As I've discovered, every thread here is an old thread. There is nothing you can say that many, many here haven't experienced. That's the point of this place and why it is so healing. You are among equals and fellow travelers.
For example, I sense danger in some of your statements. I sense danger because you are so similar to me. Beer only a "few" a night, more on weekends. Always alone.
It led me to "minimizing." Rationaliziation. Intellectualizing. All that thinking and comparing. It led me to thinking, after years of sobriety, that I might be "normal." I'm not normal.
You will read and hear in meetings of many who drink a quart of liquor, bottle of wine, a case of beer. It's simply the nature of their disease. "I'm not like that," you may say. I did. But, did I ever go a day without? No. Did I ever have just "one." No.
I have a bunch of degrees and have worked since 1971 in education. Did it affect my work? Yes. Did I know that? No.
Only in recovery am I able to see the huge difference in my attitude and performance. Relations with others. Temperament. I've hired scores of people and I wouldn't have hired me.
Are you an alcoholic? I dunno. Like others have said, try going without. Try having just one. Try not thinking about it. If you find yourself at home without any, keep doing what you are doing and wait until tomorrow to go to the store. Think. How much of your behavior is the result of procuring or coping with alcohol? Ever not answer the phone because you might slur your words? Avoid people? Avoid social events because you'd rather "stay at home." Do you hide the empties?
I have finally admitted to myself that I am powerless over alcohol. I can choose to drink or not. Not powerless there. But, gimme one and others will surely follow. My brain takes a vacation. No forwarding address.
I have quit. I have quit the "thinking game." So much time spent asking questions. How can I be an alcoholic when I know so many who can and do outdrink me are not?
There are various "tests" that purport to reveal if one is an alcoholic. Maybe. But I don't care. I know longer care how I compare. I just know that I am. An alcoholic, that is. My behavior is influenced greatly by procuring, drinking, and the aftereffects of alcohol. Nuff said, I think. Now that I am free from it, my rational brain can make clear sense of it. My alcohol influenced brain could not.
Wanna test? Take a month "off." 30 days. Start point, end point. Can you do that? Can you do that without thinking constantly about the "end date?" How much does terminology mean? In the end it is free will that matters. People who are not alcoholics have total free will over their drinking. They may go on a cruise and get smashed every night. Come home and not think about alcohol for a month. Not have any in the house. That's "normal." I'm not normal.
If you have the "disease," people here will tell you that it will only get worse. I don't want to disprove them. I don't want to find out that they are right. I simply want my free will back.
Peace
warrens
As I've discovered, every thread here is an old thread. There is nothing you can say that many, many here haven't experienced. That's the point of this place and why it is so healing. You are among equals and fellow travelers.
For example, I sense danger in some of your statements. I sense danger because you are so similar to me. Beer only a "few" a night, more on weekends. Always alone.
It led me to "minimizing." Rationaliziation. Intellectualizing. All that thinking and comparing. It led me to thinking, after years of sobriety, that I might be "normal." I'm not normal.
You will read and hear in meetings of many who drink a quart of liquor, bottle of wine, a case of beer. It's simply the nature of their disease. "I'm not like that," you may say. I did. But, did I ever go a day without? No. Did I ever have just "one." No.
I have a bunch of degrees and have worked since 1971 in education. Did it affect my work? Yes. Did I know that? No.
Only in recovery am I able to see the huge difference in my attitude and performance. Relations with others. Temperament. I've hired scores of people and I wouldn't have hired me.
Are you an alcoholic? I dunno. Like others have said, try going without. Try having just one. Try not thinking about it. If you find yourself at home without any, keep doing what you are doing and wait until tomorrow to go to the store. Think. How much of your behavior is the result of procuring or coping with alcohol? Ever not answer the phone because you might slur your words? Avoid people? Avoid social events because you'd rather "stay at home." Do you hide the empties?
I have finally admitted to myself that I am powerless over alcohol. I can choose to drink or not. Not powerless there. But, gimme one and others will surely follow. My brain takes a vacation. No forwarding address.
I have quit. I have quit the "thinking game." So much time spent asking questions. How can I be an alcoholic when I know so many who can and do outdrink me are not?
There are various "tests" that purport to reveal if one is an alcoholic. Maybe. But I don't care. I know longer care how I compare. I just know that I am. An alcoholic, that is. My behavior is influenced greatly by procuring, drinking, and the aftereffects of alcohol. Nuff said, I think. Now that I am free from it, my rational brain can make clear sense of it. My alcohol influenced brain could not.
Wanna test? Take a month "off." 30 days. Start point, end point. Can you do that? Can you do that without thinking constantly about the "end date?" How much does terminology mean? In the end it is free will that matters. People who are not alcoholics have total free will over their drinking. They may go on a cruise and get smashed every night. Come home and not think about alcohol for a month. Not have any in the house. That's "normal." I'm not normal.
If you have the "disease," people here will tell you that it will only get worse. I don't want to disprove them. I don't want to find out that they are right. I simply want my free will back.
Peace
warrens
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Late last year I finally admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic. I realized it when I realized that I wouldn't be hiding my wine bottles if I didn't have a problem with it. I wouldn't be hiding the bottles and using breath spray if I didn't care if my daughter knew I"d been drinking. But the fact that I was ashamed of my drinking meant that I didn't want to continue to drink. It took me nearly three months to actually stop, after countless failed attempts, but I now am happy to not be drinking, whereas before I was unhappy when I had no wine to dull the sensations I didn't want to feel.
The only person who can decide if you would be better off without alcohol is YOU. keep coming back here for support and encouragement and remember to take it One Day At A Time.
:ghug2
The only person who can decide if you would be better off without alcohol is YOU. keep coming back here for support and encouragement and remember to take it One Day At A Time.
:ghug2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5
Wow, thanks for the taking the time to give such thoughtful responses
Im not denying this to myself... I know I have had a problem for a long time. I know I can stop myself but only for a short time. Eventually I will go back.
Here's another question then: Is it better to wean myself off or to just stop?
warrens makes the point that after one drink more will follow, which is the case with me, which probably means that weaning is probably not going to work. But is just stopping to drink altogether even healthy?
Well, Im going to buy that book and give it a read and see how I feel.
I will keep stopping by and checking this place out though. So far so good!
Thanks again.
Im not denying this to myself... I know I have had a problem for a long time. I know I can stop myself but only for a short time. Eventually I will go back.
Here's another question then: Is it better to wean myself off or to just stop?
warrens makes the point that after one drink more will follow, which is the case with me, which probably means that weaning is probably not going to work. But is just stopping to drink altogether even healthy?
Well, Im going to buy that book and give it a read and see how I feel.
I will keep stopping by and checking this place out though. So far so good!
Thanks again.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi and welcome chuchu. You will find lots of stuff to read around here to make the decisions of whether or not you are an alcoholic, but like others have said, it doesn't really matter. If you want to stop, and the fact that you came to this site leads me to believe that you do want to quit, you will find lots of support and help here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Chuchu
There are a couple of people here who have weaned themselves. A couple out of many hundreds. You can search the threads. The thought of weaning sends chill up my spine. Even if successful, I'd still be dealing with alcohol, trying to control it instead of having 5 weeks of sobriety.
The health question you ask cannot be answered here. We cannot give medical advice. I can say that my addiction, which seems to mirror yours closely, did not result in much withdrawal at all. Others have died from detox.
At this point I would suggest focusing upon WANTING sobriety and the WILLINGNESS to achieve it. Without those, you might as well base your future on lottery tickets.
You are asking intelligent questions. If you want to learn about quitting, ask those who have quit successfully. If you wish answers to health questions, consult a doctor.
Best of luck to you! Your words convey a person with a great chance for success, as you seem to be planning. After wanting and willingness planning for success is essential.
warrens
There are a couple of people here who have weaned themselves. A couple out of many hundreds. You can search the threads. The thought of weaning sends chill up my spine. Even if successful, I'd still be dealing with alcohol, trying to control it instead of having 5 weeks of sobriety.
The health question you ask cannot be answered here. We cannot give medical advice. I can say that my addiction, which seems to mirror yours closely, did not result in much withdrawal at all. Others have died from detox.
At this point I would suggest focusing upon WANTING sobriety and the WILLINGNESS to achieve it. Without those, you might as well base your future on lottery tickets.
You are asking intelligent questions. If you want to learn about quitting, ask those who have quit successfully. If you wish answers to health questions, consult a doctor.
Best of luck to you! Your words convey a person with a great chance for success, as you seem to be planning. After wanting and willingness planning for success is essential.
warrens
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Welcome to SR chuchu,
if you just decide to go cold turkey then make sure you get to the doctor as well. I tried weaning, drinking on certain days, drinking weaker alcohol and none of it worked. It had to be all or nothing and eventually i realised that i had to do something to try and get my life back.Try all the alternatives and see how you cope, you might just need to cut back. Best wishes to you.
if you just decide to go cold turkey then make sure you get to the doctor as well. I tried weaning, drinking on certain days, drinking weaker alcohol and none of it worked. It had to be all or nothing and eventually i realised that i had to do something to try and get my life back.Try all the alternatives and see how you cope, you might just need to cut back. Best wishes to you.
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
I knew I was an alcoholic probably when I was about 19. I could control my "ism" pretty well for awhile until some outside factors pushed me into the full blown "ismist" that I'm today. I knew I was an "ismist" when I could not stop drinking 24/7.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
thanks for posting again - was wondering about you today chu!
oh and the 'weaning thing' ... whether anyone's opinion here 'itches' them or not - that's the topic you need to discuss with yer doctor. after a really honest talk.
oh and the 'weaning thing' ... whether anyone's opinion here 'itches' them or not - that's the topic you need to discuss with yer doctor. after a really honest talk.
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