Dumped By My Sponsor When I Needed Support the Most.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: london, england
Posts: 8
"And by the way its none of my business how people get and stay clean and I don't give a hoot how they do it I am however overjoyed that we do stay drug free."
...... i stay clean(of illicit drugs) by: keeping away from all other illicit drug users/prescription abusers etc, i have a great family which help me, and in the last six months have found a job and a really great girlfriend. i have found that if you stay away from the drug scene for long enough you do start to forget it, at least to a degree, i'm no angel though, i sometimes have an extra tab of subutex (i usually take 6mg, down from 24mg initially), and have on occasion even taken methadone for a few days for the more narcotic effect (and yes, had a precipitated withdrawal, doh!). whatever scant progress i have made, i've had to do it on my own more or less (family aside) i have always found other users way too selfish and unreliable... and my experience at meetings has been awful, apart from my very 1st meeting which was ok, all i found was insincerity, cliquiness and phoniness... at a time when i really could of done with just a little help. i'm not "clean" yet of prescription drugs but aim to be later this year... but i have found its hard to put a definite time frame on it, the better my life is going the easier it is for me to bring the meds down...
...... i stay clean(of illicit drugs) by: keeping away from all other illicit drug users/prescription abusers etc, i have a great family which help me, and in the last six months have found a job and a really great girlfriend. i have found that if you stay away from the drug scene for long enough you do start to forget it, at least to a degree, i'm no angel though, i sometimes have an extra tab of subutex (i usually take 6mg, down from 24mg initially), and have on occasion even taken methadone for a few days for the more narcotic effect (and yes, had a precipitated withdrawal, doh!). whatever scant progress i have made, i've had to do it on my own more or less (family aside) i have always found other users way too selfish and unreliable... and my experience at meetings has been awful, apart from my very 1st meeting which was ok, all i found was insincerity, cliquiness and phoniness... at a time when i really could of done with just a little help. i'm not "clean" yet of prescription drugs but aim to be later this year... but i have found its hard to put a definite time frame on it, the better my life is going the easier it is for me to bring the meds down...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 533
Tay I wish you would come back. I am pregnant too so if you want to come back and vent with me about the woes about being preggo, please do!! We don't have to talk about anything else going on.
*HUGS*
*HUGS*
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey Tay - Sorry I am late on this..just wanted to say that I really hope to see you back. I am unbelievably busy with work right now so I haven't been posting a lot, but I read everyday and your posts are always an inspiration to me. I hope and pray you will be able to stay with us. Jomey
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Hey(((((Tey))))
I am sorry that your sponcer backed out on you. Mine has done that a few times too. She did however give me an exercise once that was very helpful where she asked me to call everyone on the call list you get at meetings. She told me that if I got a voice mail to leave a message saying I was working step 4 and that my sponcer asked me to call everyone on the list. She told me to get back to her after I did this.
What I discovered was that almost nobody was at home or not answering their phone. I talked to 1 or 2 people. After thinking about it for a while I determined that my recovery was basically up to me and that nobody was going to do it for me.
Life goes on even in your case you have new life spring forth inside of you even while your mom lays near death in a hospital bed.
I believe if you really want to stay clean you can do it. It might not be easy but you know what the deal is and the more you make the choice to stay clean the easier it will be. Your choice to stay clean is entirely up to you nobody can force you.
I hope you will continue to post and seek support cause it really does help. I have found that the stuff I don't want to hear is usually the very thing I need to really hear....
I am sorry that your sponcer backed out on you. Mine has done that a few times too. She did however give me an exercise once that was very helpful where she asked me to call everyone on the call list you get at meetings. She told me that if I got a voice mail to leave a message saying I was working step 4 and that my sponcer asked me to call everyone on the list. She told me to get back to her after I did this.
What I discovered was that almost nobody was at home or not answering their phone. I talked to 1 or 2 people. After thinking about it for a while I determined that my recovery was basically up to me and that nobody was going to do it for me.
Life goes on even in your case you have new life spring forth inside of you even while your mom lays near death in a hospital bed.
I believe if you really want to stay clean you can do it. It might not be easy but you know what the deal is and the more you make the choice to stay clean the easier it will be. Your choice to stay clean is entirely up to you nobody can force you.
I hope you will continue to post and seek support cause it really does help. I have found that the stuff I don't want to hear is usually the very thing I need to really hear....
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Tay...sorry you weren't able to "live up to" your sponsor's expectations; but, that really is her problem, not yours. You were doing the best you could, under the circumstances. Please don't let one person keep you away from SR. I just checked, and according to the most current numbers, there are 88 people on line, including visitors. Lots of support here for you, and me, and anyone who needs it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by tay-lyn 
I don't feel confident in trusting my recovery with anyone again.
Tay.
Tay.
I had several bad experiences with sponsors too. I had to be reminded by my addiction counselor that sponsors are just people. They're alchies/addicts too, and they can have good days and bad days.
I learned that some folks prided themselves on how many people they were sponsoring, like they were collecting them in a popularity contest. Point is, there are a million different personality types in these rooms, and just because we all suffer from the same illness doesn't mean we're all alike, or even likeable. We are all "sick" people, trying to get/stay sober.
I guess what I want to say is, never, never, EVER let your sobriety depend on any other human being. Your hard-won sobriety is your most important asset.
If you were a diabetic, and someone pissed you off, would you stop taking your insulin?
Please don't go away. Please post and tell us you're still here.
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