This is my first step to recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
This is my first step to recovery
Well I have to say this is very scary for me! After years of drug use my life has finally hit bottom. I have successfully lost everything that matters to me and realized last night that drugs have done this to me. I am going to attempt to go an N/A meeting tonight. How could I allow my life to be sooo out of control? I was raised in an upper class family, well educated, blah blah blah. Any input from others to help me making this first step would be appreciated. Again, this is very scary to me because using has been a way of life for a long time! Thanks to all......
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Welcome
As has been said, addiction is and equal opportunity disease. No country club, it accepts anyone for membership.
Wealth may even be a disadvantage. No scrounging for $, no dangerous liasons to score.
Education, something I know about, can also be a disadvantage. Rationalizing, intellectualizing, internal negotiations, and the "air" of success get in the way of simple reasoning. Seriously.
Mildly ******** folks when presented with the same opportunities to abuse simply won't. Because it's "wrong" and "bad." Who's smarter?
We work on recovery here. Half the time I don't even know if I'm talking to a man or a woman. I've been "fooled" many times and I've only been here three weeks! Anything not recovery oriented, while perhaps interesting, isn't the purpose of this community.
You have taken a big step. "A journey of a thousand miles..." From now on though, you will have many hands to hold.
Peace and Serenity,
warrens
As has been said, addiction is and equal opportunity disease. No country club, it accepts anyone for membership.
Wealth may even be a disadvantage. No scrounging for $, no dangerous liasons to score.
Education, something I know about, can also be a disadvantage. Rationalizing, intellectualizing, internal negotiations, and the "air" of success get in the way of simple reasoning. Seriously.
Mildly ******** folks when presented with the same opportunities to abuse simply won't. Because it's "wrong" and "bad." Who's smarter?
We work on recovery here. Half the time I don't even know if I'm talking to a man or a woman. I've been "fooled" many times and I've only been here three weeks! Anything not recovery oriented, while perhaps interesting, isn't the purpose of this community.
You have taken a big step. "A journey of a thousand miles..." From now on though, you will have many hands to hold.
Peace and Serenity,
warrens
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
This is sooooo hard!
Thank you all!!! I am very scared!!! Recovery is sooo important to me but I'm so afraid the Meth has got the better of me!!!! I am hurting mentally and physically. I am at the point today that I am trying to rationalize to myself that if I just wean myself slowly....another words I am wanting bad!!! Is this common???
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi Pebbles
I think everyone can relate to feeling scared; I, for one, was terrified when I finally sobered up a short while ago. Posting here has helped a whole lot, you'll find encouragement and support. The fear is still with me at times, but it's different: I no longer fear the unexpected as much, I'm more concerned about all I have right now that I can lose with just one drink. But that mostly happens when I remember the past. If I look ahead, sometimes I'm filled with hope.
You'll find plenty of people recovering from drug addictions in this community; plenty have experience with NA.
Keep posting and reading
Matt
I think everyone can relate to feeling scared; I, for one, was terrified when I finally sobered up a short while ago. Posting here has helped a whole lot, you'll find encouragement and support. The fear is still with me at times, but it's different: I no longer fear the unexpected as much, I'm more concerned about all I have right now that I can lose with just one drink. But that mostly happens when I remember the past. If I look ahead, sometimes I'm filled with hope.
You'll find plenty of people recovering from drug addictions in this community; plenty have experience with NA.
Keep posting and reading
Matt
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Pebbles,
I used meth almost daily from 1985-1991. At the end I was smoking it daily. When I quit, by day 3 I was awake enough to pack up my stuff and leave the house I was staying at. I was pretty tired for only about a week. I know for a fact that when I had 3 weeks clean (I had not done any coffee or cigs) I got a total coffee buzz that day. haha
I have never gone back to meth. It was so ruining my life. I was miserable and almost lost my 2 1/2 yr old son. Today he is in college in Europe, and even though I have messed up periodically with pain killers, I love my sleep. I love the fact that my body no longer hurts and I feel like major crap. I love how I no longer hear things, or see things. I love how my mood swings are no longer. I love how I can think rationally without meth. I love how I can actually retain information w/ out needing meth.
You know, in the beginning I thought it was helping me get through college and study harder, be a better student, and lose a few lbs. In the end it kicked my butt. My life began to be more and more intwined with those ppl that everyone and everything important to me lost it's place.
All that drug did for me was made me realize that perfectionism on drugs usually leads to procrastination, and then nothing at all. So get to that meeting, and get a sponsor, even if it is a temporary sponsor. You gotta get off that crap! you can do it! you feel feel a million times better!
Sheila
I used meth almost daily from 1985-1991. At the end I was smoking it daily. When I quit, by day 3 I was awake enough to pack up my stuff and leave the house I was staying at. I was pretty tired for only about a week. I know for a fact that when I had 3 weeks clean (I had not done any coffee or cigs) I got a total coffee buzz that day. haha
I have never gone back to meth. It was so ruining my life. I was miserable and almost lost my 2 1/2 yr old son. Today he is in college in Europe, and even though I have messed up periodically with pain killers, I love my sleep. I love the fact that my body no longer hurts and I feel like major crap. I love how I no longer hear things, or see things. I love how my mood swings are no longer. I love how I can think rationally without meth. I love how I can actually retain information w/ out needing meth.
You know, in the beginning I thought it was helping me get through college and study harder, be a better student, and lose a few lbs. In the end it kicked my butt. My life began to be more and more intwined with those ppl that everyone and everything important to me lost it's place.
All that drug did for me was made me realize that perfectionism on drugs usually leads to procrastination, and then nothing at all. So get to that meeting, and get a sponsor, even if it is a temporary sponsor. You gotta get off that crap! you can do it! you feel feel a million times better!
Sheila
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Hello
Your words made me think. "I'm afraid meth may have the better of me."
Perhaps alcohol had the better of me, too. But, a few weeks ago, I decided to take "the better of me" back. The better of me is now with me and is once again part of me. We're becoming soulmates.
This was pretty hard to see a couple of months ago. I didn't see it at all.
I don't know much about meth except that it is some pretty nasty stuff to get past. So is alcohol. I think they might be the same in that we cannot imagine feeling "good" until we do. It took me a week before I really new why I wanted to quit. To feel this way. To be in control of my life.
warrens
Your words made me think. "I'm afraid meth may have the better of me."
Perhaps alcohol had the better of me, too. But, a few weeks ago, I decided to take "the better of me" back. The better of me is now with me and is once again part of me. We're becoming soulmates.
This was pretty hard to see a couple of months ago. I didn't see it at all.
I don't know much about meth except that it is some pretty nasty stuff to get past. So is alcohol. I think they might be the same in that we cannot imagine feeling "good" until we do. It took me a week before I really new why I wanted to quit. To feel this way. To be in control of my life.
warrens
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
Thank You!!!!
I cannot thank you all for the words of support. Unfortunately due to weather conditions I could not get to the NA meeting last night. There is another one tomorrow (weather has cleared up) and I hope I can make that one. If I can make it through today.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4
I could not have said it better
Originally Posted by warrens 
Welcome
As has been said, addiction is and equal opportunity disease. No country club, it accepts anyone for membership.
Wealth may even be a disadvantage. No scrounging for $, no dangerous liasons to score.
Education, something I know about, can also be a disadvantage. Rationalizing, intellectualizing, internal negotiations, and the "air" of success get in the way of simple reasoning. Seriously.
Mildly ******** folks when presented with the same opportunities to abuse simply won't. Because it's "wrong" and "bad." Who's smarter?
We work on recovery here. Half the time I don't even know if I'm talking to a man or a woman. I've been "fooled" many times and I've only been here three weeks! Anything not recovery oriented, while perhaps interesting, isn't the purpose of this community.
You have taken a big step. "A journey of a thousand miles..." From now on though, you will have many hands to hold.
Peace and Serenity,
warrens
As has been said, addiction is and equal opportunity disease. No country club, it accepts anyone for membership.
Wealth may even be a disadvantage. No scrounging for $, no dangerous liasons to score.
Education, something I know about, can also be a disadvantage. Rationalizing, intellectualizing, internal negotiations, and the "air" of success get in the way of simple reasoning. Seriously.
Mildly ******** folks when presented with the same opportunities to abuse simply won't. Because it's "wrong" and "bad." Who's smarter?
We work on recovery here. Half the time I don't even know if I'm talking to a man or a woman. I've been "fooled" many times and I've only been here three weeks! Anything not recovery oriented, while perhaps interesting, isn't the purpose of this community.
You have taken a big step. "A journey of a thousand miles..." From now on though, you will have many hands to hold.
Peace and Serenity,
warrens
Warrens makes incredible sense (to me): addition is an EOE
After 10 years I finally deceided to do something about it and go to AA meetings everyday. Sadly, still not sober, however, the people I have met are winners. I so wish to be like them.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 12
Ooopppsss!!! Damn...
Well I am sure by my heading you can tell I already used. Can't even go two days. This is really hard for me. On an up note - I am trying to find a meeting today (ASAP) to get to (waiting for a call back from local NA right now). Just checking in with ya'll to let you know - I feel like your support will maybe help me. Thank you all!!!!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
