Recoda

Hi all,
This is my first post ever, anywhere. I find it freeing to share my story so here I go...
I am 25( well at the end of the mth I will be 25) I have been married for 3 years to a wonderful, caring man who is also an addict,who now is in treatment. I have a 7mth old baby girl. I am about 3 semesters away from a degree I plan to use to teach. I am on a break right now becuase my whole world became completly unmanageble.
When I met my husband 6 years ago it was love at first site and we moved in together 3 mths after our first date. Although he smoked weed everyday I never saw it as a problem mainly becuase I smoked it almost as much as he did. We did coke together a few times as well as other drugs, but I never like them much. I did not know that he was doing it more then the times we did it until later in our relationship. When he proposed I felt like all my dreams where coming true(maybe it was all that weed I was smoking) so he continued working and I continued going to school.
I found out about his continued coke use about 2 years after we meet while I was planing my wedding. A old friend of mine and her meth-out boyfriend came to visit and we all did meth together. I spend the night geeked out feeling evel it felt so wrong and I felt so far away from my husband that night, becuase he seemed to like this feeling while all I wanted was to be able to go to sleep and get home and away from these people. This would be my last time to do anything but weed and drink. The next day I told him how I felt and he told me the truth about his addiction. Looking back now this was the first cry for help. He told me that he had been shooting up cocain ( I didn't even know that was possible) and he also said he didn't want to do that anymore and he thought it was as bad as I did. This would be the first time of many that he would tell me he never wanted to do it again but every three weeks or so he would be doing it for the "last time". Each time this happened I would get so mad. I never thought he was addicted to it becuase I had always heard of stories of people using coke every day and since the use was 2-3 times a mth I had no idea why he couldn't just stop.
So we got married bought a house and had a baby. I slowed my smoking pot and when I saw two lines on that test i stop completly and spent my prenancy hoping he would stop too. The last weekend of November I told him, when he got home late one night looking like he had the life sucked out of him That," the next time that happened our baby and I would be gone". I hoped that would be enough since I had never told him I was going to leave before. But it didn't work. So a week before Christmas when he didn't come home until early in the morning I packed a bag for me and my baby and cried all the way to my mom's house. Once I told her what was going on she informed me about codependancy and gave me the book "co-dependent no more". OMG, this book save me! My husband came to my mom's for Christmas and claimed he would do whatever it tooked to get me and our baby home. My demands where no drugs and he had to go to meetings, at least 10 before I would come home. About a week later he came and got me after telling me that he went to 2 meetings and had stop smoking weed. Soon after coming home I found out he had not done either but I thought he would not do coke anymore since he know I was serious now. But like everytime before about 3weeks after getting back home he was out till the morning again. This time his parents where on their way to see us and I decited not to lie for him anymore so I told them the truth. I went to sleep that night and woke up to my husband telling me how sorry he was and bagging me not to leave. He told me he needed help and I told him his parents knew. They had told me earlier that they wanted to help him but he would have to make that choice. The next day he talked to his parents and we spend that day looking into the best treatment for him. We decided on a 90 day program where he has been for 45 days. Today, he got a day pass and we where able to go eat out and take our baby to the park.
I don't know, what our future holds. Most of the time I miss him like crazy, sometimes I am greatful that he is there becuase that means I don't have to watch him, and sometimes I worry about when he gets out if I will be able to give him the support he needs to continue in recovery. Thanks for reading my story I hope someone out there can relate. I would love to hear others stories if you feel like sharing!

C2H5OH_Free

Wow!

I'm newly sober, so I don't really know Jack-****, but it sounds like he's lucky to have such a loving partner. It also sounds like a recovery is well under way.

I wish you both the best, and I will say a prayer for both of you tonight.

ter4154880

My 16 year old daughter will be home march 11 from treatment, Ive had alot of mixed emotions. Ive talked to her alot about this and I told her that I will be there to support her in anyway I can but It is ultimitaly up to her to do the work, shes the only one who can change herself. I realize its different but it sounds like your husband wants to be there and get the help and thats whats important,just have faith in him, know in your heart hes right where he needs to be right now and be thankfull for that. My daughters been gone sence thanksgiving and I miss her so much but I am so happy she is getting the help she needs or It was a good possibility she would have ended up dead and thats the reality of any person thats using. When she gets out I am going to be there for support and being an alcoholic myself we'll go to meetings together but she needs to work her own program the way she feels its good for her, I cant be in control of this,of course it will be different, shes a child and I need to be a parent and guide her, but as for your husband I think just being there to listen and support him will be all he exspects from you, he has you and a baby to love and that brings people to realize whats important in life, and hes doing the best thing he can do right now, for all of you, Im sure it will be a hard road but it cant be any worse than when he was using. Things will get better. Take care

Spiritual Seeker

It would be MOST beneficial if you attend Al-anon and also work the twelve steps through that program.
Wishing you a long sober future together. Your baby deserves it.

CarolD

Please check out this link to the Friends and Family Forum

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

Blessings to y'all and Welcome to SR!

RK2007

Thanks for sharing Recoda; addiction messes up so many lives, thankfully it doesn't seem to have done so here...

You have done right thing the whole way through and have been very supportive - he's a lucky man, by the looks of things (45 days on the program) he's serious about quitting...

Well done to both of you - wishing you, your husband and your baby all the best for the future...