This is harder than I expected!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 5
This is harder than I expected!
Hi all - well day 4 since my last drink. Today has been the hardest so far. When I tried to give up the booze 18 months ago, my doctor prescribed me some anti-depressants which are supposed to supress the symptoms. However, I only took them for one day and went back to drinking! I found them in my drawer on Sunday and have started taking them. They have really helped - I've had no shakes, sleep really well, sweating has stopped - but I still can't stop thinking about how I would love a cold glass of white wine!
Today, wine has become an obsession for me - I can't stop thinking about it. I'm wondering what it will be like when I first go out to a pub with friends. I have to go to an exhibition for three days in a couple of weeks time and everyone gets together and drinks loads in the evenings - how will it feel to be the only one sitting there drinking a glass of coke?
I've even been kidding myself that perhaps I can just have a few drinks if I go out for the evening - but I know that will lead me to crave the poison every single day thereafter.
Sorry I'm just rambling - need to get this off my chest! How long will it be before I can think about anything else other than alcohol?? :wtf2
Today, wine has become an obsession for me - I can't stop thinking about it. I'm wondering what it will be like when I first go out to a pub with friends. I have to go to an exhibition for three days in a couple of weeks time and everyone gets together and drinks loads in the evenings - how will it feel to be the only one sitting there drinking a glass of coke?
I've even been kidding myself that perhaps I can just have a few drinks if I go out for the evening - but I know that will lead me to crave the poison every single day thereafter.
Sorry I'm just rambling - need to get this off my chest! How long will it be before I can think about anything else other than alcohol?? :wtf2
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi Jane,
Congrats on 4 days
The cravings subside with time - or so I'm told. I'm almost two weeks sober and have to admit that the intensity and frequency has lessened a whole lot. The first few days were the hardest.
You seem to be really worried about what's going to happen in the near future, in pubs and whatnot. Something I've learned here is to take it one day at a time, focus on the moment. I've translated it to living one minute -even one second- at a time when my anxiety gets too out of hand. It helps.
Take good care, keep posting
Matt
Congrats on 4 days
The cravings subside with time - or so I'm told. I'm almost two weeks sober and have to admit that the intensity and frequency has lessened a whole lot. The first few days were the hardest.
You seem to be really worried about what's going to happen in the near future, in pubs and whatnot. Something I've learned here is to take it one day at a time, focus on the moment. I've translated it to living one minute -even one second- at a time when my anxiety gets too out of hand. It helps.
Take good care, keep posting
Matt
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Hi Jane, congrats on the four days. Yeah, it's hard work, but it's worth it.
Regarding your upcoming trip and the evenings. I'm a part time musician, and I know how it feels to be in a pub/bar/club early in sobriety while others are drinking around you. For me, to my surprise, after the first 15 minutes, it wasn't too bad. You just got to fight having that first one. And if the situation gets too intense, just excuse yourself to out and get some fresh air or head back to your hotel room.
Good luck and welcome to the forums.
Regarding your upcoming trip and the evenings. I'm a part time musician, and I know how it feels to be in a pub/bar/club early in sobriety while others are drinking around you. For me, to my surprise, after the first 15 minutes, it wasn't too bad. You just got to fight having that first one. And if the situation gets too intense, just excuse yourself to out and get some fresh air or head back to your hotel room.
Good luck and welcome to the forums.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Originally Posted by mattcake79 
Something I've learned here is to take it one day at a time, focus on the moment. I've translated it to living one minute -even one second- at a time when my anxiety gets too out of hand. It helps.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Midwest, U.S.A.
Posts: 11
I feel your pain!
Hi Jane, I'm new here. You sound a lot like me. I've been sober 6 days now (which is a 2-year record for me). I don't like being sober, but I know I have to. I messed up my face last week and blew a .32 at the hospital. That was when I realized I couldn't be a functional alcoholic.
My doctor prescribed librium the last time I tried to quit (about a month ago). I was sober for 5 days (my previous record), but the drug did nothing to supress my urges and eventually I realized taking it with alcohol just helped me get drunk faster. I know, that was stupid.
Being sober, I NEVER realized how much alcohol is around until I stopped drinking - advertisements, parties, television. I went on a ski trip this weekend (on day 3 of sobriety) and everyone around me on the bus was drinking like it was about to be banned. I could hear the beer cans cracking open, and the smell of it almost drove me nuts. I wanted a beer SO bad, but I made it through.
I too wish that some day I could have a beer with dinner and not fall off the wagon. I worry that I can never have fun again. No new years, no parties, no bars, no social events. It's no fun to me watching other people have a good time.
I got fired from two very good jobs recently and was in the hospital 3 times in the last month and a half, all because of alcohol. I had the alcoholic's dream job - work from remote, boss rarely calls, just make sure I'm sober enough for teleconference meetings.
Unfortunately, I've started smoking (which is disgusting to me). However, it REALLY helps me with my cravings and anxiety. The anxiety meds my doctor prescribed aren't working. He started me on 20, then 40, then 60mg on Citalopram, but I keep telling him it does nothing for my anxiety.
Smoking is bad, but right now all I want to do is stop drinking!!! That's my #1 priority.
My doctor prescribed librium the last time I tried to quit (about a month ago). I was sober for 5 days (my previous record), but the drug did nothing to supress my urges and eventually I realized taking it with alcohol just helped me get drunk faster. I know, that was stupid.
Being sober, I NEVER realized how much alcohol is around until I stopped drinking - advertisements, parties, television. I went on a ski trip this weekend (on day 3 of sobriety) and everyone around me on the bus was drinking like it was about to be banned. I could hear the beer cans cracking open, and the smell of it almost drove me nuts. I wanted a beer SO bad, but I made it through.
I too wish that some day I could have a beer with dinner and not fall off the wagon. I worry that I can never have fun again. No new years, no parties, no bars, no social events. It's no fun to me watching other people have a good time.
I got fired from two very good jobs recently and was in the hospital 3 times in the last month and a half, all because of alcohol. I had the alcoholic's dream job - work from remote, boss rarely calls, just make sure I'm sober enough for teleconference meetings.
Unfortunately, I've started smoking (which is disgusting to me). However, it REALLY helps me with my cravings and anxiety. The anxiety meds my doctor prescribed aren't working. He started me on 20, then 40, then 60mg on Citalopram, but I keep telling him it does nothing for my anxiety.
Smoking is bad, but right now all I want to do is stop drinking!!! That's my #1 priority.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 60
Hello Jane,
Matt has given you some sound advice (he is good at that
)
I too have had the obsession of the wine...imagining it's taste etc etc...the answer for me..get busy, have an ice cold refreshing drink, remember the way I feel after.
Be careful that you don't put yourself into a situation you are not ready for. At moment I am avoiding some things and using the creativity I had for deception to find ways of keeping myself out of trouble.
I'm on day ten and have struggled a bit this evening...long day at work..usual pattern was to unwind with a drink.Even as I write I have got a voice in my head saying"In a few months you will be more in control, it will be okay"....
!
Keep posting...this community is a lifeline
GG
Matt has given you some sound advice (he is good at that
)I too have had the obsession of the wine...imagining it's taste etc etc...the answer for me..get busy, have an ice cold refreshing drink, remember the way I feel after.
Be careful that you don't put yourself into a situation you are not ready for. At moment I am avoiding some things and using the creativity I had for deception to find ways of keeping myself out of trouble.
I'm on day ten and have struggled a bit this evening...long day at work..usual pattern was to unwind with a drink.Even as I write I have got a voice in my head saying"In a few months you will be more in control, it will be okay"....
!Keep posting...this community is a lifeline
GG
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
Fear of what will happen if you go to a pub is healthy to have on your 4th day of sobriety. Going to a pub and staying sober is a difficult thing to do this early in your recovory.
Stopping drinking, finding SR and taking prescription medication is a start but it is not going to be enough if you are going out of town for 3 days and going to pubs. Recovery requires action, the more the better.
Have you been to any AA meetings?
I agree with Matt. Stay in the moment. Your best chance to have a good tommorrow is to have a great today.
Stopping drinking, finding SR and taking prescription medication is a start but it is not going to be enough if you are going out of town for 3 days and going to pubs. Recovery requires action, the more the better.
Have you been to any AA meetings?
I agree with Matt. Stay in the moment. Your best chance to have a good tommorrow is to have a great today.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Jane Kaye, I can relate to what you are going through right now. If I tend to think too far ahead I get real panicky even though I take meds for panic attacks. Just be in the now as much as possible and try not to think of the upcoming conference. Just focus on today hon, and know you're supported.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Congrats on day 4 !!
A friend from the rooms descibed alcoholism this way. If you think about drinking or think about NOT drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.
Being an alcoholic means alcohol will always be a focus of my life....I'm either working my way towards my next drink or I'm working myself away from my next drink.
It's important for me to remember that I'm always moving, one way or the other. I cannot become complacent in my sobriety because my disease will convince me that I've won and when I let up on my program the crazyness starts to creep back in. Before long I'm risking my sobriety by thinking I'm invincible and start placing myself in bad places (usually with old friends) or bad circumstances or relationships (usually with old friends).
I need to focus on a new path, meeting people like me. I'm a drunk, I can go anywhere and find people to drink with until I'm once again alone. Or, I can go to the only place in the world where there are people like me who don't drink, that place is AA meetings.
I do have a choice...today I choose sobriety.
Jane, if I'm serious about my sobriety and I have 4 days clean, I don't go where I'm the only person drinking coke.
Perhaps your different, for a long time I thought I was different. Help is at the meetings, if you want to stop you can but nearly every sober person I know needed help, you might think about improving your odds.
I hate to be preachy but I can't help it. This disease and recovery thereof is extremely important to me, my life depends on it.
God's Peace
A friend from the rooms descibed alcoholism this way. If you think about drinking or think about NOT drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.
Being an alcoholic means alcohol will always be a focus of my life....I'm either working my way towards my next drink or I'm working myself away from my next drink.
It's important for me to remember that I'm always moving, one way or the other. I cannot become complacent in my sobriety because my disease will convince me that I've won and when I let up on my program the crazyness starts to creep back in. Before long I'm risking my sobriety by thinking I'm invincible and start placing myself in bad places (usually with old friends) or bad circumstances or relationships (usually with old friends).
I need to focus on a new path, meeting people like me. I'm a drunk, I can go anywhere and find people to drink with until I'm once again alone. Or, I can go to the only place in the world where there are people like me who don't drink, that place is AA meetings.
I do have a choice...today I choose sobriety.
Jane, if I'm serious about my sobriety and I have 4 days clean, I don't go where I'm the only person drinking coke.
Perhaps your different, for a long time I thought I was different. Help is at the meetings, if you want to stop you can but nearly every sober person I know needed help, you might think about improving your odds.
I hate to be preachy but I can't help it. This disease and recovery thereof is extremely important to me, my life depends on it.
God's Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New Whiteland IN
Posts: 41
In AA you will learn how to deal with these situations. In AA you will learn that the key is to stay away from that first drink.
The disease of alcoholism is in your mind and body. Your mind thinks about the drink(which you are already doing) and after the first drink the physical craving begins.
Until you go through a psychic change , (this simply means a change in thinking) you are probably going to drink in 2-3 weeks. Your only other hope is to have a spiritual awakening, and these are rare.
Focus on staying sober until midnight, and then start over the next day. Can you stay sober until midnight????
The disease of alcoholism is in your mind and body. Your mind thinks about the drink(which you are already doing) and after the first drink the physical craving begins.
Until you go through a psychic change , (this simply means a change in thinking) you are probably going to drink in 2-3 weeks. Your only other hope is to have a spiritual awakening, and these are rare.
Focus on staying sober until midnight, and then start over the next day. Can you stay sober until midnight????
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well done on your sober time Jane!
For me...my physical de tox was over by day 4.
Then it was time to work on the obcessive thoughts.
Please check out your local AA meetings
Just go listen with an open mind.
You too can win over alcohol!
For me...my physical de tox was over by day 4.
Then it was time to work on the obcessive thoughts.
Please check out your local AA meetings
Just go listen with an open mind.
You too can win over alcohol!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
