I'm new to this!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 13
I'm new to this!!
Hi there everyone, my name is Katey and this is my first post.
I am a 24-year-old alcoholic from the St. Louis, MO area and have been sober since February 18th, 2008. I had been sober for about three months before relapsing in September '07. I'm sort of starting over, and I'm looking for some support outside of AA.
I've only been to one AA meeting, and I gotta be honest, I hated it. There were probably almost forty people there, and it felt like a Bible study, but instead of the Bible, it was the Big Book. Or whatever they call it. The room was smoky and I felt completely out of place (though my guess is that most people feel out of place at their first few meetings).
My therapist tells me I should try going to more meetings; go to a new one every night until I find one I like. I don't know about that. Any comments or suggestions from my fellow alcoholics??
Thanks,
Katey
I am a 24-year-old alcoholic from the St. Louis, MO area and have been sober since February 18th, 2008. I had been sober for about three months before relapsing in September '07. I'm sort of starting over, and I'm looking for some support outside of AA.
I've only been to one AA meeting, and I gotta be honest, I hated it. There were probably almost forty people there, and it felt like a Bible study, but instead of the Bible, it was the Big Book. Or whatever they call it. The room was smoky and I felt completely out of place (though my guess is that most people feel out of place at their first few meetings).
My therapist tells me I should try going to more meetings; go to a new one every night until I find one I like. I don't know about that. Any comments or suggestions from my fellow alcoholics??
Thanks,
Katey
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Hi Katey. Welcome to SR.
You're in the right place. I got sober without AA but I've been to my fair share or meetings. I don't really have a good reason why I didn't use AA .... I think I was too lazy.
Anyway, you'll meet lots of people that can give you some great advice. From what I know, finding the right meeting is key. Also, there are non-smoking meetings if that's a big bother.
Keep posting and keep reading.
You're in the right place. I got sober without AA but I've been to my fair share or meetings. I don't really have a good reason why I didn't use AA .... I think I was too lazy.
Anyway, you'll meet lots of people that can give you some great advice. From what I know, finding the right meeting is key. Also, there are non-smoking meetings if that's a big bother.
Keep posting and keep reading.
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Welcome Katey and congrats on the new start!
Yeah, I suggest checking out other meetings, like an Open speaker or a discussion meeting. Those are the ones I go to. Haven't been to a Big Book meeting yet.
I've noticed that each group has a personality of it's own. So if you check out a few, you
might find one you like.
Yeah, I suggest checking out other meetings, like an Open speaker or a discussion meeting. Those are the ones I go to. Haven't been to a Big Book meeting yet.
I've noticed that each group has a personality of it's own. So if you check out a few, you
might find one you like.
-Samantha
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Georgia
Posts: 16
welcome katey! i am new here as well and i am also 24. today is day 3 of sobriety for me. i have yet to attend an AA meeting, but i am interested in checking one out to see if its for me. i know people that have gotten sober w/o it so don't think that just because you don't like the meetings you aren't cut out for sobriety!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Katey,
Welcome to our recovery community. I got sober with AA, and later added this website to my recovery tools. I do think it's important that you try other meetings. Speaker meetings are really good for the newcomer - you get to listen to one alcoholic's experience, strength and hope for nearly an hour. I remember how I used to see meetings (boring, full of old people), and that, thankfully has changed. If you decide to go back, do so with an open mind, and introduce yourself as a newcomer if possible.
In the meantime, I hope you keep reading and posting here.
Welcome to our recovery community. I got sober with AA, and later added this website to my recovery tools. I do think it's important that you try other meetings. Speaker meetings are really good for the newcomer - you get to listen to one alcoholic's experience, strength and hope for nearly an hour. I remember how I used to see meetings (boring, full of old people), and that, thankfully has changed. If you decide to go back, do so with an open mind, and introduce yourself as a newcomer if possible.
In the meantime, I hope you keep reading and posting here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Hi Katy
When I was a kid I lived in your area. Still have family there. Only been on the Arch once (spooky).
Yeah, trying different meeting could make a difference. You could ask around to see. And sticking around here helps.
When I was a kid I lived in your area. Still have family there. Only been on the Arch once (spooky).
Yeah, trying different meeting could make a difference. You could ask around to see. And sticking around here helps.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Good to know you are here with us.
Here is a list of recovery programs
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
Click on the video link there also
it's very interesting I think.
Welcome to SR!
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Welcome Katey, starting over feels good huh Right now I'm relying on therapy and this community for my sobriety, but will probably wind up in AA anytime soon. Not that that's a bad thing. From what I've gathered, most groups have their own "feel", so maybe it's a good idea to shop around until you find one that seems right for you.
Read a lot, post a lot
Matt
PS. Carol, that UK video gave me nightmares after I watched it last night - thanks for posting it, lol!
Right now I'm relying on therapy and this community for my sobriety, but will probably wind up in AA anytime soon. Not that that's a bad thing. From what I've gathered, most groups have their own "feel", so maybe it's a good idea to shop around until you find one that seems right for you.Read a lot, post a lot
Matt
PS. Carol, that UK video gave me nightmares after I watched it last night - thanks for posting it, lol!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Katey
I too agree with your therapist. You are fortunate to live in a place where there are many meetings. Not so for me. That's why I'm here.
You're a frog-I'm a grasshopper. Orly those old enough to remember the kung fu guy (on tv) will know what I mean by that.
Welcome
warrens
I too agree with your therapist. You are fortunate to live in a place where there are many meetings. Not so for me. That's why I'm here.
You're a frog-I'm a grasshopper. Orly those old enough to remember the kung fu guy (on tv) will know what I mean by that.
Welcome
warrens
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Haha Warrens, I remember the frog and the grasshopper.
Katey, Welcome!
I don't go to meetings, but I wonder if there are some non-smoking meetings that might be more comfortable for you. Actually, I live in Canada, and there is no smoking allowed in any public buildings here.
I am glad you are seeking help.
Katey, Welcome!
I don't go to meetings, but I wonder if there are some non-smoking meetings that might be more comfortable for you. Actually, I live in Canada, and there is no smoking allowed in any public buildings here.
I am glad you are seeking help.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 3
I get it!
Katey the Frog (nice), I'm new to this forum as well, however I have a little more than six yrs sober. You think that the big book thumpers are enough to drive you nuts...try the "bigger book" thumpers (bible)! I recently moved from Dayton, Oh to Columbus, OH and have had a very hard time finding the right fit for me. I had some great mtgs in Dayton. I suggest that you find some open discussion mtgs without themes (BB disc., 12 step disc., etc. I started at a newcomer's mtg that was an open discussion...within a month it was my home mtg!!!!
Also, as hard as it seems, when you find some mtgs you like, don't fight the advice of those you relate to! Give in and try new things, strange as it may seem at first...it tends to work! I fought it for the first two years and was miserable! Late evening mtgs tend to be a little more laid back than earlier ones (at least that's been my experience)!
If any of this helps, great...if not...I suck!
Hang in there, it gets better, I promise! -Recycled Karma
Also, as hard as it seems, when you find some mtgs you like, don't fight the advice of those you relate to! Give in and try new things, strange as it may seem at first...it tends to work! I fought it for the first two years and was miserable! Late evening mtgs tend to be a little more laid back than earlier ones (at least that's been my experience)!
If any of this helps, great...if not...I suck!
Hang in there, it gets better, I promise! -Recycled Karma
Last edited by Anna; 03-02-2008 at 07:12 AM.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: library
Posts: 131
Find a new therapist. I had the exact opinion of AA but stuck it out for 5 months because this is what I was advised to do and I really wanted sobriety. (Did gain some useful info.)
Found a new therapist (just by chance--my other one was moving). New one was very open to any new ideas that might aid in my sobriety.
For some reason, people, even professional therapists, think AA is the end all. Maybe for some, but certainly not for me. There are many options available. Don't feel like a loser for disliking AA. There are tons of us out there with the same feelings.
jane---sober since 2004 and enjoying (almost) everyday.
Found a new therapist (just by chance--my other one was moving). New one was very open to any new ideas that might aid in my sobriety.
For some reason, people, even professional therapists, think AA is the end all. Maybe for some, but certainly not for me. There are many options available. Don't feel like a loser for disliking AA. There are tons of us out there with the same feelings.
jane---sober since 2004 and enjoying (almost) everyday.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Welcome Katey.
I too would suggest at least trying another meeting, a non-smoking one! Or a young persons one?
AA isnt the only way but it has worked for a lot of people so giving it another chance is wise. You can just go to meet other alkies to talk to, you dont have to buy into the whole thing unless you want to.
There are other resources though, as Carol linked to and this forum is a great resource too!
I too would suggest at least trying another meeting, a non-smoking one! Or a young persons one?
AA isnt the only way but it has worked for a lot of people so giving it another chance is wise. You can just go to meet other alkies to talk to, you dont have to buy into the whole thing unless you want to.
There are other resources though, as Carol linked to and this forum is a great resource too!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Hello Katey and welcome to SR. As you have probably gathered there are plenty of friendly folk here with good advice and support. Keep sober, be positive and look around and find what feels right for you. Don't be forced into anything, best wishes.
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Your therapist gave some good advice. My experience has been that each meeting has a personality of its own. There are several meetings I have gone to that I found were not for me. Some of those I have gone back to later in sobriety and found them more to my liking.
Carol provided a great link to other recovery programs. AA worked for me but there are other programs out there. Good luck
Carol provided a great link to other recovery programs. AA worked for me but there are other programs out there. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by Katey the Frog
My therapist tells me I should try going to more meetings; go to a new one every night until I find one I like. I don't know about that.
Originally Posted by f911
For some reason, people, even professional therapists, think AA is the end all.
That said, you probably don't need a new therapist though, what you need is a support 'system' of sorts, and that is what your therapist is steering you towards, because this can be a daily battle requiring support at the strangest hours of the night. Lets face it, if therapists started becoming aa sponsors for all of their patients, they'd probably go out of business because of the time involved - either that or they'd be rich as hell billing by the minute.
That's where a group of people that share the same problem can be beneficial to each other - and very cost effective for the participants in the long term - eg free. But that doesn't mean you have to physically go to a meeting to get a support system that'll work for you. Everyone is different, the level of support required depends upon your mental and emotional strengths to walk that straight line and keep it that way. If you can do it without outside help then you're one of the lucky ones. If not, then you must get outside help - from somewhere.
Just remember that the goal of all of this is one thing - to change your behavior patterns so you'll stay away from it for good. Try other venues - they don't have to be AA BB etc... try open discussions and some of the suggestions provided above. There's a lot of them so you've got a choice. If that doesn't work then just try hanging out here on SR - that's what I've chosen to do and come here every day (whether I need it or not) and am getting along pretty well. Day 10 I think and so far so good.
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