I really want to quit
 

Hello.

I've been addicted to vicodine for about 6 months now and I really want to find the strength to quit. I've read other stories of people quitting cold turkey, but I don't think I can do that, because I have a chronic cystitis that is very painful. That is what got me addicted in the first place. I have outbreaks about 4-5 times a year. When it happens, I feel that I want to die, because the pain is unbearable. About 6 months ago I had an outbreak when I was at work. It took over an hour of pain and embarrassment on the subway and when I finally got home, the pain got worse. I screamed so hard that I pulled my nerve. I ended up having both Urinary track and nerve pain. After seeing me like that my husband told me that I should see a doctor and ask for a medicine to help with the pain, which is what I did. The doctor gave me vicodine. I could not believe how relived I was and I how much more manageable the pain became. I used to get panic attacks in public if I felt a slightest indication of bladder discomfort, because many times it went from the slightest to an unbearable in a matter of a second. I was especially embarrassed in front of my friends or in any public places. I did not want people to see me screaming. When it happened I felt that everyone was looking at me and feeling sorry. I was brought up in a household where showing pain or anxiety in public was shameful.

The relieve I got from vicodine not only helped with the pain, but also with an anxiety that came with it. I started taking it only when it was necessary, but now I take about a pill and a half each day. I think I liked the feeling too much. I also feel more social and it helps me being creative and staying focused at work.
After reading some of the stories in this forum I realize it's not too late yet. I think I can quite with minimal discomfort and I tried, but I always end up taking at least a half/day. I carry the pills with me everyday, because I am afraid of my cystitis outbreak. I think if I could manage to leave them at home I could quit. I work about an hour and a half away from home. If I don't bring them with me I become anxious and nervous. If anyone has any advice on how I can start quitting, I will be very grateful.
Thank you and the best of luck to everyone!
Irina :)

Hi Irina,

It does sound like you are depending upon the pills beyond what they were prescribed for. Have you talked to your dr about how to get off the vicodens? Also, have you talked to your dr or to a specialist about how to deal with the cystitis and the pain that is involved? Maybe there is some kind of treatment or surgery that could be done to relieve the pain.

You can get through the withdrawls and there is definitely hope for life without the drugs. Keep reading and posting.

Hi Anna.
Thanks for your reply. I've been with this problem for over 7 years. I've had numerouse tests, xrays and so on. The doctor's say some women's anatomy is like that. Every time this happens the doctor takes urine test and gives me a course of antibiotics. I am tired of taking antibiotics as well. There is only so much of them my stomach can handle. I've tried many non-narcotic pain relievers specificaly designed for cystitis, but they don't help a bit. I know my addiction goes being the nesecity, and i am ready to quit. It's been half a day and so far I haven't taken any and i hope to keep it for the rest of the day. I know this is nothing compare to most people in this forum, but for now I am taking each day at a time. I hope one day can turn into 2 and 3 and so on....

Irina

I went to a shrink.
 

Oh I forgot to mention that I went to a shrink yesterday and shwe told me that I may need to take xanax for my anaxiety and to help with quitting. But I am afraid that I'll become addicted to that instead and it'll end up just being being one pill instead of the other. Does anyone have any experience with xanax? is it addictive?

Thanks,
Irina

Instead of taking the 'pills' with you to work, try taking only ONE. Then, every time you think about taking it just because, you can remind yourself that if you take it now, it will NOT be there when you really need it later.

Just a thought.

Welcome ...:wave:

Have you checked out our Substance Abuse Forum?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/

I do hope you can find answers
:hug:
Blessings

thank you
 

Thank you everyone for your kind welcome. I went to the link you recommended and was glad to find people like me who have just taken first steps to quitting.:a194:

I'm glad you're doing well.

I've never used xanax, but I've read a lot about it on this board and it's something that people seem to be easily addicted to and very hard to stop. Why don't talk over with your dr, your concerns about taking xanax?

Have you been referred to a pain clinic? I am such an advocate for them because they have much better resources to treat pain that include non narcotic medications that really work.

I also belong to several online communities of chronic pain people and they have been such a help.