Cruising@30,000...turbulence!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Cruising@30,000...turbulence!!!
Yesterday was day ten. Cruising along, enjoying the view, and WHAM!
About half an hour prior to the end of work I had that anticipatory hallucination. I could sooo taste the cool one that would be my after work reward. I mean I TASTED it; felt the cold of the can, the sting of the bubbles on my tongue, the aroma of the hops. I'll bet that an EEG would have shown a "smooth out" as that imaginary first, long sip reduced the tension of the day.
What was up with that? To top it off, M'lady (an OR nurse who travels 40 miles to work) was ON CALL last night. Means she sleeps there because of the distance. NO ONE WOULD KNOW BUT ME (and god). Went to the Texaco on the way home, scurried past the beer cooler and got some SoBe's (an upscale juice drink for you "unAmerican" types). Mandarin/carrot. Did the trick in the car.
Got to the ranch and was shaken by it all. I HAD to tell Susan my experience. She understands, but then (thank god) she doesn't understand. She seemed, on the phone, a bit surprised that "macho man" told her of his weakness. Told her I had to. If I can't be honest about this crap, what chance do I have? I told her I would HAVE to tell her if I did slip. NO FREAKING CHOICE but to tell her. I have to adhere to that. Otherwise, sneaking behavior becomes a real possibility. A internal negotiation every day that I DO NOT NEED. I am so good at negotiating that sometimes I look in the mirror and see Henry Kissinger (all you 20 somethings, that's a joke BTW).
I got humbled in a hurry, yes I did. Outta nowhere came the Red Baron, guns blazing. End of cruising. I survived, but the Fokker is out there some where.
warrens
About half an hour prior to the end of work I had that anticipatory hallucination. I could sooo taste the cool one that would be my after work reward. I mean I TASTED it; felt the cold of the can, the sting of the bubbles on my tongue, the aroma of the hops. I'll bet that an EEG would have shown a "smooth out" as that imaginary first, long sip reduced the tension of the day.
What was up with that? To top it off, M'lady (an OR nurse who travels 40 miles to work) was ON CALL last night. Means she sleeps there because of the distance. NO ONE WOULD KNOW BUT ME (and god). Went to the Texaco on the way home, scurried past the beer cooler and got some SoBe's (an upscale juice drink for you "unAmerican" types). Mandarin/carrot. Did the trick in the car.
Got to the ranch and was shaken by it all. I HAD to tell Susan my experience. She understands, but then (thank god) she doesn't understand. She seemed, on the phone, a bit surprised that "macho man" told her of his weakness. Told her I had to. If I can't be honest about this crap, what chance do I have? I told her I would HAVE to tell her if I did slip. NO FREAKING CHOICE but to tell her. I have to adhere to that. Otherwise, sneaking behavior becomes a real possibility. A internal negotiation every day that I DO NOT NEED. I am so good at negotiating that sometimes I look in the mirror and see Henry Kissinger (all you 20 somethings, that's a joke BTW).
I got humbled in a hurry, yes I did. Outta nowhere came the Red Baron, guns blazing. End of cruising. I survived, but the Fokker is out there some where.
warrens
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Warrens,
Day 10 or 11 now, is great!
I am not surprised that you went through a huge craving at that point. A lot of early recovery is up and down. But, getting through it, the way you did, is the only way to do it. I found that each time I went through that, it got easier.
And, you are lucky to be able to talk to your partner about this. I know it will help you.
Day 10 or 11 now, is great!
I am not surprised that you went through a huge craving at that point. A lot of early recovery is up and down. But, getting through it, the way you did, is the only way to do it. I found that each time I went through that, it got easier.
And, you are lucky to be able to talk to your partner about this. I know it will help you.
Spiritual Being
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Louisville
Posts: 138
Warren, you wussy. 
I'm glad SOBe was an adequate "thirst" quencher for you. But you know, of course, you have to watch yourself. Those little voices chatting away in your noggin, whispering sweet nothings, can lead to a quite secretive addiction. You just gotta be careful with that SoBe, it can really get out a hand which would be tres, tres mal or sehr, sehr schlect.
I'm glad SOBe was an adequate "thirst" quencher for you. But you know, of course, you have to watch yourself. Those little voices chatting away in your noggin, whispering sweet nothings, can lead to a quite secretive addiction. You just gotta be careful with that SoBe, it can really get out a hand which would be tres, tres mal or sehr, sehr schlect.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi warrens,
I missed this post. Glad to know you pulled through okay, but it must have been scary. I've been having a few of those myself, just minding my business and suddenly getting hit by actual mental pictures of glasses filled with wine. It would be funny if it weren't so disturbing. Are they cravings?? I haven't acted on them though, I just shake my head and think of something else. Seems to work.
Congrats on your honesty with your wife, you're blessed to have someone who will listen to you unconditionally. Keep posting buddy.
Matt
I missed this post. Glad to know you pulled through okay, but it must have been scary. I've been having a few of those myself, just minding my business and suddenly getting hit by actual mental pictures of glasses filled with wine. It would be funny if it weren't so disturbing. Are they cravings?? I haven't acted on them though, I just shake my head and think of something else. Seems to work.
Congrats on your honesty with your wife, you're blessed to have someone who will listen to you unconditionally. Keep posting buddy.
Matt
Sounds just like what we newcomers need, lol.Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
they are more like nightmares, was just a heads up kind a question
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hat-dream.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hat-dream.html
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Are you aware of PAWS?
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Please note that not everyone has the
exact same experiences
either in severity or time frame.
Congratulations on your progress Warren.
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Please note that not everyone has the
exact same experiences
either in severity or time frame.
Congratulations on your progress Warren.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Originally Posted by CarolD 
Are you aware of PAWS?
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Please note that not everyone has the
exact same experiences
either in severity or time frame.
Congratulations on your progress Warren.
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Please note that not everyone has the
exact same experiences
either in severity or time frame.
Congratulations on your progress Warren.
Carol
I've heard of ti, but that ain't me, I don't think. Wasn't that "heavy" of a drinker. I will read it, however.
Since that day, I'm back to doing quite well, although today will be a test. Day off and home alone. You know the ritual there, eh? I uspect I will be on here a lot.
Day 14...
Thank you!
warrens
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
