Toomutch

I am on day 2 of sobriety and already wondering why. I am trying to tell myself that the bizare apisodes only happen occasionally, although I drink every night. I routinely hurt myself, atleast once a month, not intentionally, but always the result of being intoxicated.
It would be really easy right now to take a drink. I have some vodka hidden away, but so far I am keeping from it.
i suffer from alot of pain due to fibroidmyalgia and rhuematoid arthritis, and can usually justify drinking to help me feel better. I am on meds including vicodin because the pain can be quite intense.
I am a sneeky person. Nobody at work even knows I am sick. I dont tell them because to me I feel as ashamed over the rhumatoid and fibro as I do the alcoholism. Does that sound really sick?
I know I am really rambling on, I just need to share with someone a little bit about who I am.
My kids just walked in. Bye

SpaceDementia

You should just keep on ramblin'. It'll help. There be some caring people on here. They've listened to me ramble for the past few days and no one has told me to go get bent yet. Yeah, mixing alcohol with the acetaminophen in your pain meds is a little tough on Mr. liver. Speak with your doc if the Vicodin isn't providing proper pain relief and i'm sure he/she will help you get that under control.

1cor13

Toomutch

3 days sober, 30 days sober, now 2 days. Whats going to be different this time?

I had all kinds of issues when I got sober but the most serious was the alcoholism and that was the one that needed to be dealt with first.

Sounds like your in alot of pain due to fibroidmyalgia and rhuematoid arthritis. If I may what is fibroidmyalgia? I know all about the arthritis but whats going on with the fibroidmyalgia?

Thanks

Toomutch

1cor13,

Thanks for asking... Fibromyalgia is chronic fatigue sydrom with pain.

JPat

Toomutch - My mother suffers from fibro, and it is a horrible disease. I know she suffers alot. I also have a hard time asking people for help and appearing vulnerable - I hate it more than just about anything!

Sobriety is worth it, the longer you don't drink the better you'll feel, emotionally and physically.

Mattcake

This is a tough one toomutch. I'm starting day 5 and don't even allow myself to ponder too much about the reasons for quitting - although they're obviously there. I know I can easily come up with a dozen reasons to keep drinking, but that just won't do at this point. You have fibromyalgia, I have a lot of despair, his wife left him, she has a broken heart... Reasons aplenty to keep drinking. But there's one reason to quit, and it beats all the others: your own life and sanity.
I'm sorry you're in so much pain. Being sneaky doesn't make you a bad person. Maybe it just means you're in need.
Matt

1cor13

Kind of like a real ****** hangover, does drinking make it worst or better?

Toomutch

While I'm drunk I feel no pain. On the flip side it intensifies the hangover.

1cor13

So what do you think you are going to do? You obviously cant continue with this life can you?

Toomutch

Thats why I'm here, I am just so confused and afraid. I pray for the strength to make it this time.

1cor13

Have you ever thought about getting involved with a 12 step program. They are anonymous so you could still be a little sneaky and get away with it.

CarolD

Well...
I too take meds for several chronic conditions.
I can tell you they work better without alcohol.

There is danger from mixing your meds with alcohol.
Please check the vicodin label.

Be both sober and safe ..
have an honest talk with your doctor.

jazpoppy

I have chronic pain syndrome too. I have Chronic Fatigue syndrome, osteoarthritis in several joints, including my spine, herniated disks, spinal stenosis, the list goes on it seems. I am an addict/alcoholic. I have to take medication for pain, and it should NEVER be mixed with alcohol but I have done it and I felt better at the moment, but the next day, I was very sick and had to keep drinking and drugging to feel "better" each day. That just doesn't work for me anymore. I have to take my medication the way it is prescribed, and avoid alcohol at all costs! Here are some recommendations that may help you:

1) Leave someone (husband/wife, adult child, friend, someone trustworthy that lives with you) in charge of your medication: they give you what you are prescribed at the times you are prescribed to take them until you get stability in an alcohol/drug program that will give you to tools you need to quit drinking.
2) Have someone make sure there is NO alcohol in the house, and that you avoid any situation involving alcohol until you get stability in a 12-step program.
3) Go to AA meetings
4) If you can't go to meetings, go online (come to SR) and find someone to talk to when you feel like drinking.
5) Get alcohol/drug counceling, or enroll in rehab (either in-patient or out-patient, whichever your schedule allows).
6) MOST IMPORTANT!!! Do SOMETHING to help yourself now before its too late and you get sick! Please put yourself, your health, and your family FIRST!

I am NO expert and my advise is NOT that of a medical professional, so please seek medical advise. I just hope I helped you out a bit!

Love

JAZ

CAPTAINZING2000

I have some vodka hidden away you say?

Why, do you keep it hidden?

If, what I'm doing has to be kept in secret, I have to look at it as something I'm not proud of.

A normal drinker doesn't have to question his drinking habits. They order a drink, notice I said a drink and has one or two then stops. We have an obsession with our drinking. We may or may not go for a period without drinking to excess. However, we're prone to have problems from our drinking

A line I heard a while back says it all " I might not got into trouble every time I drank but, every time I got into trouble, I'd been drinking"

SF69

A speaker at a meeting I went to last week used that line (first time I'd ever heard it). It sure applies to me.