I don't really know anybody who doesn't drink
smileyologist and lord of bees
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
I don't really know anybody who doesn't drink
I don't really know anybody who doesn't drink. 
So here I am, I can hear a party going on next door, my friends are out in town. Most of them are anyway.
I am sitting here at the computer with the window open and I can hear all the commotion outside. I know what the answer is, go out and don't drink but I feel like such a lemon doing that and people know you're not really on their wavelength when you're sober.
So this is how I will spend the rest of my days. I guess you've all been here before, the temptation to chap next door and join the party.
Pretty sure this will pass, it's just when you hear the giggling and laughing and you know they are having fun I feel like I should be there too.
Sobriety is sensible, and if I drink the way I used to I'll probably die. Just that death seems so far away right now compared to where it used to be. But that's just a trick right?
Sometimes I can cope with this better than other times, I just feel so damn isolated from time to time. Hope it passes quickly. :chatter
So here I am, I can hear a party going on next door, my friends are out in town. Most of them are anyway.
I am sitting here at the computer with the window open and I can hear all the commotion outside. I know what the answer is, go out and don't drink but I feel like such a lemon doing that and people know you're not really on their wavelength when you're sober.
So this is how I will spend the rest of my days. I guess you've all been here before, the temptation to chap next door and join the party.
Pretty sure this will pass, it's just when you hear the giggling and laughing and you know they are having fun I feel like I should be there too.
Sobriety is sensible, and if I drink the way I used to I'll probably die. Just that death seems so far away right now compared to where it used to be. But that's just a trick right?
Sometimes I can cope with this better than other times, I just feel so damn isolated from time to time. Hope it passes quickly. :chatter
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,501
Yes, it can be hard adjusting to a sober life.
For me, it took a lot of changes to make things work out.
But, I found lots of ways to have fun and I don't ever miss being around people who are drinking. I rediscovered my love of music, of walking/hiking and going to movies - simple things and simple pleasures.
For me, it took a lot of changes to make things work out.
But, I found lots of ways to have fun and I don't ever miss being around people who are drinking. I rediscovered my love of music, of walking/hiking and going to movies - simple things and simple pleasures.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'd invite you over RK...but it's a hell of a commute....
little steps...
get this sobriety thing down...let it 'take'...and you'll find you can be anywhere...and not even think about the fact you're not drinking (except maybe for the occasional 'wow...cool!' thought)
Life isn't fun because people drink, and it doesn't stop because you don't
D
little steps...
get this sobriety thing down...let it 'take'...and you'll find you can be anywhere...and not even think about the fact you're not drinking (except maybe for the occasional 'wow...cool!' thought)
Life isn't fun because people drink, and it doesn't stop because you don't
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hey RK,
The strange thing for me was that by the end of my drinking a party was the last place I wanted to be. I would go to the most isolated, dirty, dingy bar and just hang. I was very dramatic about it though. I'd play George Thorogood's "I drink alone" about 10 times in a row and snarl at anyone that came by. I fancied my self a real lone wolf rebel. Yow.
Anyway... hang tough. It is most definitely worth it. I met a lot of people at AA and now am almost never "alone." My two kids make sure of that.
Mike
The strange thing for me was that by the end of my drinking a party was the last place I wanted to be. I would go to the most isolated, dirty, dingy bar and just hang. I was very dramatic about it though. I'd play George Thorogood's "I drink alone" about 10 times in a row and snarl at anyone that came by. I fancied my self a real lone wolf rebel. Yow.
Anyway... hang tough. It is most definitely worth it. I met a lot of people at AA and now am almost never "alone." My two kids make sure of that.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
RK, dont give in...
hey, call another drunk!
maybe they can come over and you might woop it up sober...
the neighbors might come to your place, and see ya's having a good time sober!
might just be the thing they need to see!
ya-hoo, Mountain Dew!
hey, call another drunk!
maybe they can come over and you might woop it up sober...
the neighbors might come to your place, and see ya's having a good time sober!
might just be the thing they need to see!
ya-hoo, Mountain Dew!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Northville, MI
Posts: 9
Thats your first problem. "Not knowing anybody who doesnt drink". All alcoholics can say that. Theres a reason we dont know anyone who doesnt drink. Deep down we KNOW we have a drinking problem. Why would we want to be around people who DONT drink? That would be awkward. Too awkward. So, of course we keep intoxicated company. That way,...we DO fit in. Once sober,...we must get rid of all those drinkers in our life. They dont WANT us to be sober. They want us to remain drunk for the very reasons Ive outlined above. They too, are alcoholics (most of them, if we were hanging out with them). Misery loves company. And no,...this ISNT how its going to be for the rest of your life. Soon,...you will be ABLE to envision life without drinking. And the vision will be a pleasant one. When faced with needing to get sober, I too, couldnt see myself enjoying life without drinking. I was POSITIVE nothing would be fun. POSITIVE. But, given time, I cant imagine wanting to drink ever again.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
The easiest way to stay sober is to associate with sober people on a regular basis. You say that you don't know anyone sober?
I hate for some to see sobriety as a sentence or some sort of a sacrifice where they have to give up things that others are enjoying, or seem to be enjoying.
The old saying "Water rises to it's own Level" comes to mind. That's not a bad thing of course. It just means that you associate with the people that you feel the most comfortable around. In this case it doesn't seem that there's many that are sober.
You don't know any sober people because you don't know any sober people. No other reason. Sober people are everywhere. There's no escaping them. They come from any angle and they're always around. Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. But they're not that bad when it comes down to it.
See if you can find a couple of them to hang with.
I hate for some to see sobriety as a sentence or some sort of a sacrifice where they have to give up things that others are enjoying, or seem to be enjoying.
The old saying "Water rises to it's own Level" comes to mind. That's not a bad thing of course. It just means that you associate with the people that you feel the most comfortable around. In this case it doesn't seem that there's many that are sober.
You don't know any sober people because you don't know any sober people. No other reason. Sober people are everywhere. There's no escaping them. They come from any angle and they're always around. Gives me the heebie jeebies just thinking about it. But they're not that bad when it comes down to it.
See if you can find a couple of them to hang with.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
"...it's just when you hear the giggling and laughing and you know they are having fun..."
YOU get to safely sleep in your own bed tonight instead of risking a sleepover with the local constabulary...
YOU get to wake up tomorrow refreshed and ready to live another day instead of feeling like crap physically...
YOU get to start anew come the morrow instead of having to figure out how much "residual damage" needs to be cleaned up in your life...
YOU get to wake up to a clean place and sweet smells instead of a stinking trashed out dump...
YOU get to start a brand new day tomorrow instead of having your body scream in outrage, "what did you *do* last night?!?"...
I'd rather hang out with you than them... Call me weird...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
I found a bunch of sober people in the rooms of AA. We laugh like you wouldn't believe AND they help me stay sober. I only knew drunks and drug users when I was drinking, I had no reason to hang out with sober people. I think I may have been a bit jealous.
smileyologist and lord of bees
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Originally Posted by GreenTea 
Good morning RK! Isn't is a beautiful morning/day?
PS - Thank you everybody for your comments, sometimes I get embarrassed at the stuff I post when I'm feeling sorry for myself and your replies keep me in real life and not wallowing in self-pity...
SR rocks...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi RK, you know me too! I am sober!
The 'party' would end in death for us mate, simple as that. Pain and then death.
All my friends are/were heavy drinkers too. I suppose at my age (39) I dont care about parties but I do want to socialise to some extent. I need people, thats why I have gone back to AA.
The 'party' would end in death for us mate, simple as that. Pain and then death.
All my friends are/were heavy drinkers too. I suppose at my age (39) I dont care about parties but I do want to socialise to some extent. I need people, thats why I have gone back to AA.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
RK, I see your location listed as Glasgow and you show a guitar...
Maybe today's a good day to go outside and practice on the the old bagpipes, huh?
Naw... That would just be mean... Nevermind...
Maybe today's a good day to go outside and practice on the the old bagpipes, huh?
Naw... That would just be mean... Nevermind...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: .
Posts: 299
Originally Posted by mikel60
The strange thing for me was that by the end of my drinking a party was the last place I wanted to be. I would go to the most isolated, dirty, dingy bar and just hang. I was very dramatic about it though. I'd play George Thorogood's "I drink alone" about 10 times in a row and snarl at anyone that came by. I fancied my self a real lone wolf rebel.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
You'd be surprised at how many people don't drink...and, they aren't all in the rooms of AA either. But, they certainly aren't in the pubs or among your partying neighbors.
Yes, the longer you're sober, the less you'll miss the booze and have found ways to have fun without it. BTW...if you go to the right AA meetings, you'll hear a lot of giggling and laughing...you'll wonder how they can be so happy without drinking!
Pretty sure this will pass, it's just when you hear the giggling and laughing and you know they are having fun I feel like I should be there too.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
I never drank at parties, just maybe the odd beer, cos I really disliked seeming like an out of control wreck. Keeping up appearances, you know. But I had no problem whatsoever getting plastered in the privacy of my own home.
Anyways, plenty of people don't drink. Thing is, you might not have *noticed* them, but they do exist. And they do go to parties and have a good time - and they have the added bonus of not having to deal with hangovers etc. Go hunting for them, unlike alcoholics, they're not a rare species
Anyways, plenty of people don't drink. Thing is, you might not have *noticed* them, but they do exist. And they do go to parties and have a good time - and they have the added bonus of not having to deal with hangovers etc. Go hunting for them, unlike alcoholics, they're not a rare species
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