Joke for the Day
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 358
Joke for the Day
I laughed out loud when I read this. I hope it gives others a laugh too.
An alcoholic died and entered the pearly gates. All her friends on earth really missed her. One day, God sent her back to earth to assist with one particularly recalcitrant drunk, and while she was there, she decided she'd drop by her former home group to see her sponsor.
"Wow," her sponsor said when she saw her, turning white as an igloo, "I thought you died."
"I did," she said.
"Wow, well, I'm just stunned. But tell me, what's Heaven like?" asked her sponsor.
"Oh, it's great," she replied.
"Really? Tell me more; I want to know all about it," her sponsor insisted, patting the empty chair beside her.
"Well," she hemmed, "I'm not really sure you want to know."
"Sure I do," her sponsor said. "Here, sit, let's talk."
"Well, it's kind of a good news/bad news kind of thing. I mean, there's an endless supply of gourmet coffee, soft chairs to sit in, no one takes your inventory anymore, all the meetings are non-smoking, and every Saturday night there's a big speaker meeting," she explained.
"Hey," said her sponsor enthusiastically, "that sounds pretty good to me. What's the bad news?"
"You're speaking there next Saturday."
An alcoholic died and entered the pearly gates. All her friends on earth really missed her. One day, God sent her back to earth to assist with one particularly recalcitrant drunk, and while she was there, she decided she'd drop by her former home group to see her sponsor.
"Wow," her sponsor said when she saw her, turning white as an igloo, "I thought you died."
"I did," she said.
"Wow, well, I'm just stunned. But tell me, what's Heaven like?" asked her sponsor.
"Oh, it's great," she replied.
"Really? Tell me more; I want to know all about it," her sponsor insisted, patting the empty chair beside her.
"Well," she hemmed, "I'm not really sure you want to know."
"Sure I do," her sponsor said. "Here, sit, let's talk."
"Well, it's kind of a good news/bad news kind of thing. I mean, there's an endless supply of gourmet coffee, soft chairs to sit in, no one takes your inventory anymore, all the meetings are non-smoking, and every Saturday night there's a big speaker meeting," she explained.
"Hey," said her sponsor enthusiastically, "that sounds pretty good to me. What's the bad news?"
"You're speaking there next Saturday."
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I think that one "has whiskers on it", NM. I heard a slightly shorter version umpteen years ago.
His Guardian Angel sits at the foot of a dying alcoholic in the hospital.
The alcoholic says, "Thank you for taking care of me all these years."
The Angel says, "I've done my best, but your time here may be drawing to an end."
Alcoholic, "Well, tell me this...are there AA meetings where I'm going?"
Angel, "The good news is that there are, indeed, AA meetings there."
Alcoholic, "Then, that must be Heaven. What's the bad news?"
Angel, "The bad news is that you have the next Speaking Commitment."
His Guardian Angel sits at the foot of a dying alcoholic in the hospital.
The alcoholic says, "Thank you for taking care of me all these years."
The Angel says, "I've done my best, but your time here may be drawing to an end."
Alcoholic, "Well, tell me this...are there AA meetings where I'm going?"
Angel, "The good news is that there are, indeed, AA meetings there."
Alcoholic, "Then, that must be Heaven. What's the bad news?"
Angel, "The bad news is that you have the next Speaking Commitment."
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Speaking of Angels - Pun for the Day
An angel went to see St. Peter. "All I do," the angel said, "is play the harp endlessly, and I'm getting bored."
St. Peter asked, "What would you rather do?"
The angel answered, "I like to dance."
"We don't allow dancing here in heaven," St. Peter said, "but I can see you need a change so I will allow you to take advantage of a once-in-an-eternal-lifetime offer. I will allow you 24 hours leave to return to earth and dance."
"I'm gone," the angel said and in a trice the angel was in California and quickly found a dance hall run by Samuel Frank. Checking the harp and wings, the angel boogied and danced and had a great time until just seconds remained of the leave.
The angel grabbed up the wings and immediately was in heaven again. Returning to St. Peter, the angel said, "I'm back and I am so happy. I'll never feel bored again."
St. Peter said, "That's wonderful, but where is your musical instrument?"
"Oh, no," the angel said, "I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco."
Do I hear groaning!?!
St. Peter asked, "What would you rather do?"
The angel answered, "I like to dance."
"We don't allow dancing here in heaven," St. Peter said, "but I can see you need a change so I will allow you to take advantage of a once-in-an-eternal-lifetime offer. I will allow you 24 hours leave to return to earth and dance."
"I'm gone," the angel said and in a trice the angel was in California and quickly found a dance hall run by Samuel Frank. Checking the harp and wings, the angel boogied and danced and had a great time until just seconds remained of the leave.
The angel grabbed up the wings and immediately was in heaven again. Returning to St. Peter, the angel said, "I'm back and I am so happy. I'll never feel bored again."
St. Peter said, "That's wonderful, but where is your musical instrument?"
"Oh, no," the angel said, "I left my harp in Sam Frank's Disco."
Do I hear groaning!?!
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