An Observation
 

I'm in my seventh day and still feel great, as if a huge burden has been lifted from my shoulder. It overpowers anything physical that I might have.

But that is not why I am writing...

I have been using the internet and computers to communicate since long before the World Wide Web, browsers, etc. I've been part of and have accessed tons of BBS', forums, discussion groups, etc. I have a passion for learning and a passion for sharing.

But I have all but given up on the sharing part unless I have a specific question or a certain answer. Why? Because, no matter what the online community, even those populated primarily with so called "educated" people, with advanced degrees, etc, almost every conversation seems at some point to degrade into entropy. That's chaos, in short. Flame wars. Ad hominem attacks, people wasting their time being pretentious, arrogant, uncivil, and just f'ing rude.

While I'm a member only less than a week. I can't believe what I see. How can the most civil, organized, active, helpful, determined, and sustaining online community be populated by a bunch of drunks, etc? What does that say about society and people in general? Who really belongs in and who really runs the asylum in this world?

I was pretty desperate, but also pretty scared to join and participate in this community. I was fully expecting people to be throwing bombs at each other. Insults. Heated arguments over terminology or approaches, or an infinite number of issues. I figured that the insanity of the typical "normal" online community would only be magnified here. By a factor of 100, at least. I mean, we're all nuts, aren't we?

I expected, at best, to find just a few pieces of edible fruit in a rotten pile. But I was determined to find them-I needed them badly. I am so hungry.

The inmates are perfectly capable of running the asylum, it seems. I am so pleased and so relieved to find the most self regulating online place I've encountered. The few heated disagreements I've seen seem to have doused themselves. No need for heavy handed moderation. Ever go to Slashdot? Populated by computer geniuses and 6 figure technogeeks, it is the most uncivil place on the web. WTF?

Sorry for the ramble. I'm sure I have only a micro view of things. All I know is this place works for me. End of rant.

warrens

I agree, and if you haven't already you should check out the alcoholism forum. Lots of smart ppl debating/discussing stuff there also.

Warrens -- I was glad to see this today...

I have tried a few times over the past month to explain to people why I visit this site, what I find... to no avail.

Trying to explain the utter unconditional support I've found in these few pages is beyond my abilities.

Thank you for noting what, to me, is so obviously "beyond the norm".....

~C

I've found the same thing in all kinds of different recovery "environments". People are nicer. Part of it is that we have to - the stakes are too high to go back to the old ways. We didn't get sober to be miserable, carping, sniping wretches. We want to be good people. Our recovery tools remind us everyday of how to do so.
Nice post, Warrens

Warrens,

Thanks for your post.

We all work really hard to keep the process here focused on recovery and to keep away from petty arguments. That is especially important in the Newcomers forum because the last thing we want, is for a newbie, to arrive and witness a 'scene'. This place is a second home to me and to many members and we treat it as such.

Thanks for noticing!

Smart people who care and share :)

Warrens,
I think the reason we are all so nice and lovey is that nobody here wants to be the one responsable for driving someone to DRINK!
We are all so much more than just alcoholics but save our flaming rampages for other sites that we may visit.
Have some sober fun!
Sportster

Nice post, always keep the vibes positive, casual- life is too short.

I agree Warrens!

I have participated on forums since 2001. That's a long time, and I have varied interests, so I have seen the good, bad and the ugly!

Believe it or not, some of the worst (and how ironic that they can also be some of the best) were garden forums, and craft forums!

I tote my flame retardant suit everywhere I go on the net. Haven't had to suit up once here. Not once.

I think that speaks volumes about how willing the members of this site are with their helping hands.

Wish I had found this site earlier, but I believe I found it at the right time for me!

hey warrens...

you get a four (_rz_) (_rz_) (_rz_) (_rz_) up from me for your post!

yep, what a bunch of caring, loving, compassionate, helpful, and understanding lot we are!

a formal welcome to the family...!

met ya on another thread, saw your name, and had to take a gander! lol

good wishes warrens

rz

Another great share, Warrens
 

I agree with theonlyway - I couldn't find the words to express how I've felt being here these past 6 months. To have a place to come to where you can pour your heart out is such a gift. On just a few occasions I've cringed at a few exchanges that I thought would escalate into a full blown battle, but it never happened. Someone always graciously backed down or admitted they were wrong - I don't think we want to lose each other as friends and confidants. I've said it before, but I wish the people in my "real" life were as accepting and compassionate. I do think we are a special breed. I regret the bad and destructive things that happened because I'm an alkie, but I can't say I'd change who I am.

Ok RZ, ya got me once again. what the hell do those mean? I'm pretty high functioning, but c'mon!

warrens

there one of my trademark ass's...

the departed miracal (trish) from this site...

my intended to be, used to call me a ass all the time... in a endearing way of course!

so your post rates a four ass up!

see... (_|_)

look at it good... lol

Ok, RZ. Got it. Geez.

Sounds like there is a not so bedtime story behind it. If that is the case, I'm sorry.

But you are here, and I'm glad.

Thanks,

warren

warren, its a lovely, and also bittersweet story...

stick around, some day i will tell it all...

i came here almost two years ago the end of next month to post about her passing!

been here ever since...

kind'a got adopted... lol

Thanks Warren.....isnt it great! The ego seems to get left at the door, its all heart in these rooms. We get suckered in by the hugs ha ha. I know what you mean about on-line and societies behavior in general, sad state of affairs, scary even. A spiritual void i think.

That computing forum sound hairy. I wouldn't want to cheez off a computer genius on-line, end up getting super hacked and loosing my identity or worse :)

i will keep this in mind when replying to your post ha ha :bounce

For me...
Recovery is a miracle.

I am a success in life
if I don't drink and practice the Golden rule
each day to the best of my abilities.

SR gives me a great opportunity to do just that.
:funjump:

Forward we go...side by side

I must be really dumb because I'm not understanding RZ's ass up thingie.