Mattcake

Last Thursday (my quit date) a stray cat showed up at my place and just refused to leave. I love animals, but I'm not exactly in a place to adopt a pet right now. But after checking for a collar, I threw an old pillow out on the porch and fetched some catfood, and basically tried to ignore it as much as possible, half-wishing it would leave. It seemed reasonably healthy, so I figured that I'd call the vet if it was still around once my shaking and puking stopped.

So this afternoon I went outside and found him dead, just laying there on the pillow. At it undid me a bit, even though we hadn't bonded in the least. I'd never had direct contact with death before tonight. What amazed me was how peaceful it looked. The fact it had chosen my little torn-down world to spend it's last few days - I knew it's silly, but it feels that way. So I did what felt right, grabbed a shovel and dug a small grave. All the while thinking, wow this is some way to spend that dreaded fourth day into my quit. *Shrugs* Maybe feeling a bit guilty over not paying more attention to it, even though I made sure he was well-fed and stroked him while smoking outside. Okay, now I'm just sad, just wanted to share this somewhat morbid story.

M

adore79

THat is so sad. Peace be with you kitty.

warrens

Not morbid Matt, quite beautiful. I'm sure it's last minutes on earth were better because of you.

Take something, anything from it. That cat might be one of us.

warrens

tellus

I agree with Warrens, not morbid at all.

I think one could take a lot of meaning away from an experience like that. It sounds like you each did the other a service: you gave him food, comfort, and a safe place to spend his last days, and in return he gave you a distraction and a chance to step outside yourself.

adore79

You are soo wise warrens, I love reading your posts. Love, Felicia.

1963comet

That is so sad but you did help the cat.