Addicted to SR
 

Well i am just over 6 months now and life is a thousand times better. I am very happy with my progress which has been mostly steady. I have been able to control my thinking before my thinking starts to control my feelings, more positive and recognizing self defeating thoughts before they lead to action. Using thoughts are down to only a couple times a day and i quickly dismiss them or turn those thoughts into what it did "to" me, instead of what it did "for" me. I could go on and on how much better things are in every way. I am so grateful, for a long long time i thought i would never be happy again. But.............

I have kinda plateaued and i am coming of my recovery high, kinda feel like "OK now what". I have noticed some recent behavior realizing i have much work to do. I work, i come home, i sit in front of the computer for hours on end. Mostly right here on SR. I click new posts over and over, post a little here and there and then am all insecure about what i posted, was it the right thing to say, how was it received. My fellow addicts happiness in my main concern but i think my posts have little to offer(pity alert) I find myself thinking about it the next day, exhausted because i was up clicking new posts till 2 in the morning. Ridiculous. Then i get home and do it all again checking my posts from the night before. I am not getting stuff done that i should and on the odd occasion even skipping food or a shower.

As well there is so much pain that floods into a forum like this and it hurts my heart but i know the there is a lot of healing and hope as well. I very thankful for SR and all of you but I definitely need to limit my time here i think.

I am open to any thoughts you may have, thank you

i just clicked new posts :)

i just wanted to add i do the same thing with channel surfing, keep clicking the channels till late at night. Why don't i just shut the dam thing off if nothing is on. Its like i stay up late with a feeling like i am waiting for something. Lately there has been no time for TV for some reason :irked:

I know it's not easy, but your helping me! Thanks for sticking with it.

Keep moving forward - it will get better!

we're addicts. We're obsessional. That's why we're here on this forum.

IMO, whatever our drug of choice was, it was just the manifestation of an underlying condition.

But we can learn to control ourselves, we can learn to moderate our behaviours if we think they're out of hand.


We can also try and focus ourselves on positive outlets like SR.

As long as you are helping people while you're here, and as long as you're not avoiding responsibilities by being here, or isolating - helping people and learning more about addiction and recovery is no bad thing to be fixated on....

and, regarding your sig - I do think you think too much :)

D

(((Stayin alive)))

I spend a LOT of time here on SR, too, but I'm looking at it as a good thing. I've made some terrific friends here, and I will have a year clean in a couple of weeks. I do understand what you're saying though, but as long as I'm stealing dealing with work, family, life, etc. AND staying clean, then it's okay.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

When the hurt in your heart has you in tears more then one night in a row, you will find the answer.

The answers I found...

I can only share what I know. Others can take it and use it or leave it and try something else.
Only God can change a person's heart and I am not God.
When the hurt becomes enough that you need let it go... you will then learn to let go and let God much easier then you do now.

Share what you know. Start a reply with...I, Me, My...experience, strengths, and hopes ES&H and you will never need worry if what you post is helping or not. When we share what we know by our own experiences, we share what has worked for us. Others can try it and see if it works for them ...that is their choice.

As for being addicted to SR...Not me.
I think I am addicted to the wonderful people who show up here sharing and/or looking for answers.
Thank you for being one of them.

I make a list of all the things that I would like to get done, even if I know that they will carry over to the next day or thru the week and when I have taken care of as many chores as I can for the day I reward my self with reading. I love to read, could read a book a day if chores didn't have to get done. I come on here early while hubby is asleep or in the afternoon when he takes a nap. That way he doesn't feel to neglected. You'll find the right balance in time.
Linda

pity police!

stay'n. just post from your heart, and try not to get all nerved up about what you post...

stop click'n, its waisted energy that could be better spent...

good wishes...

rz

Yes use the energy to share your experience strength and hope and let the rest go.

Kevin

Be kind to yourself, above all.

Maybe compromise somewhat and set a couple of goals each day, besides the time you spend on SR. I spend time here too, but I try to balance that with getting other things done.

You're doing great!

It is not in my nature to moderate anything. Once something grabs my interest, It gets 120% of my attention. It's obssesive behavior.
I wonder about the chicken and the egg thing. Did my obsessive behavior cause my addictions or did my addictions cause my obsessive behavior? Who know's.
I pray to have god remove it, and when he's ready, he does. It's just who I am, or how I am or whatever. Don't beat yourself up.
And when you post, just be honest and speak from experience, not guesses or opinions.

I for one enjoy reading your posts and this one was a good example of honesty

Thank you

:funjump:

Forward we go...side by side!

I keep posting and reading to it helps me feel grounded and I hope it helps others too.

Is SR making you powerless or powerful? Is it making your life manageable or unmanageable? Yours to conclude. As for me (very new here) it is a godsend. It is not impeding on my life, it is enabling me to live it.

As far as second guessing? Screw that. I wrote a reply to an individual yesterday that I would love to have back. In all honesty, I thought I was PMing her when it's out there for the world to see. I lost no sleep over it, however. I f'd up, that's all. Open mouth, insert foot. How many words would George Bush like to have back? I wish he'd take them all back and ask for amends (sorry for the politcal comment, folks, just trying to illustrate).

Every time I write, I am prepared to have my lunch handed to me by someone far wiser. I welcome it. We learn far less from success thatn from failure. I came into this world butt naked and I'll leave it the same way. My only hope is that it might be, on the whole, just a slightly better place because warrens was here.

warrens

Thank you all for your kind comments, some great thoughts that i will put into practice. Amazing how just talking about stuff and getting feed back from fellow addicts is comforting and very helpful. Advice from even a trained counselor may be good but its just not the same if he hasn't been there. I do tend to isolate and yes i guess it is an obsessive thing, i will find balance.
I think spring is here, it was so nice to take a few minutes to feel the rays of sun on my face today :)

I know what you're describing.

Restless.

It's also not being IN yourself.

IN.

Your
SELF.

We're looking for stimulus.

Something anything to keep us interested.

I know what that is.

Or better put: I know what that isn't.

It isn't grounded.

There's a Spirit communication thing not going on.

This is where the Spiritual connection is so important in the life of an alcoholic. The prayer thing. The meditation thing. The quiet thing. The inner silence thing.

Because .. sitting here at work sometimes, I get it.
I can't sit back and meditate because I have to be 'on hand' for guests should something happen.
And, more practically minded - I could fall alseep.
A definite no- no.

Bummer the hotel burned down, but man I was ZOOMIN on the beta zones, man!

uh, yeah.

Stayin, I like ya.
I think you ought to check into some kind of Spiritual discipline.
LIke ... yoga.
Or ... something like that there.
Even if it's just to do like I did and go buy a three dollar clearance yoga dvd.

OR a book on cassette how to meditate or something.

Deepoak Chopra is the BOMB at that.

I heartily recomment him for that.

I've never read a word he's written. I just know fromwatching him on Oprah.

Man knows his poop.

StayinAlive,

Wassup? I hear ya...and you almost took the words right out of my mouth. (LOL!!) I recall posting on another thread about how there are days when I can't wait to get home to my computer and check the responses and new posts! I've even found myself rushing to get to work because I stayed too long here at SR writing or reading what someone else wrote. Sure...I believe that being here excessively can be an expression of my addiction. I suffer from a disease that can express itself in every aspect of my life. For me, addiction isn't just about drug use. I can get addicted to anything I like.

I agree with everyone who shared about the importance of finding balance. It's very crucial that, whenever I recognize I'm being obsessive and compulsive about something or someone, I check myself and try to put my priorities back in order. If not, I usually find myself unmanageable.

On the other hand, being here at SR isn't the worst thing I could be doing. I remember reading a book called "Positive Addictions" many years ago, and what I recall from it is that, we addicts tend to substitute. Wow! Figure that, eh? No wonder I've got 45 pairs of sneakers!!

At least I'm not using dope.

Hey Barb thanks.........and would you look at the time, shessh. I have to get up at 6.

I never considered the spiritual aspect, i am running a little low on that but do manage to remember to pray every other night. I know i need to do more.
I do some novice meditating from time to time but usually only for anxiety. Don't know enough about it to aply to other areas, i will look into that poop knowing guy.

45 pairs of sneakers, nice :)