SpaceDementia

I believe that the world is more important than I. Why waste time on myself if I can help others.

GreenTea

SD, how can you help others if you haven't spent the time helping yourself first? ... You can't give away what you don't have...

"...if you are traveling with small children, place your own mask over your face first, and then assist them with theirs..."

You are not any less important than the world, SD... To some, you may even BE the world without even realizing it... Time spent on yourself is not wasted effort unless YOU *want* it to be... You don't have to believe me -- you just have to trust that what I'm saying is true.

You're worth it, SD... And you can do this... And you are not alone!

warrens

There's certainly merit to that sentiment, at least the first part. But speaking for myself only, I'd sooner not be a crippled soldier.

The second sentence I really suggest reading to yourself a couple of times. Seriously.

All the best, SD. Like I said, if you write it, I'll read it. You have some gifts.

warrens

nogard

Welcome to SR GreenTea has a great point.

keep posting and reading there is love support and info here by the trucks should you so desire to use it.

Kevin

SpaceDementia

I'm not quite sure what people mean when they suggest I should work on myself. Go to the gym? See a psychologist? What? I just don't value life as others due. I, in know way see my death as tragic. I see death as a great adventure. Whenever I die, if I experience what I think I might experience, it'll be serene. If death turns out to be nonexistence then that's cool as well.
I don't care a great deal for civilization as we know it. It has flaws to the extreme. I feel the world will only be acceptable if there is a mass awakening and revolt, eugenics is utilized, or an apocalyptic event wipes 80% of the population off the earth and we have a chance to start over.

Anna

What working on myself means to me is learning the lessons life is teaching me. Everything happens for a purpose and I am here to learn certain things, during this lifetime. That's why I'm here.

nogard

hey SD how about focus on getting well first and then change world later. First part of getting well is detox safely and then admit your sick and get some help thats what work on yourself means to me.

Get support and /or a program.

Kevin

warrens

SD, I can't make a difference if I'm dead. Hell, I've BEEN dead for a few years. Working on yourself simply means getting WELL. At least that's what it means to me. The world can use you.

Eugenics? Well we certainly part company there. I have three kids and other loved ones that I'd sooner didn't experience the word you envision. You sure that's not the disease talking?

Anyhow, get straight, get well, and make stuff better for my kids, OK? You have a lot of really good stuff in your heart OK? I can tell. In the meantime listen to the wise people in THIS (online) world. They are good people. They don't want to die. They are helping me tremendously in just a few days. I really don't care what happens when I die, either. But I'd rather have some hand in just when that is.

Peace and serenity,

warrens

SpaceDementia

You obviously don't understand the scope of eugenics. I'm not talking about what the Nazis did by getting rid of a race and breeding Aryans. I'm talking about gene therapy and genetic engineering. I have spent a great deal of time in hospitals dealing with my hemophilia. I'm burdened everyday by being hypoglycemic. Both of these problems could have been prevented with eugenics. All genetic defections could be eliminated thus extending the average life span of every single human being on the planet. Imagine being able to prevent every case of Down Syndrome, every case of cleft pallet, every case of schizophrenia, every birth defect, and on and on. The first step to utopia.

warrens

That means that the world would be a better place without you. Or literally thousands of children and others I've known. Sorry, my man, I don't buy it.

Not going there. Let's keep this treatment oriented or I'm outta here. I need to get well.

Peace and SERENITY

warrens

SpaceDementia

warrens, yes, treatment oriented, I agree. Let me say to you that I honestly hope that you're doing better today than you were yesterday. I'm glad that we've discovered this forum and glad that there are people on here that empathize with us. Trying to get clean by ourselves is hard. Didn't mean to offend, bro.

warrens

SD, cool.

Please read Nogard's thread. "Today and the weekend." I left you a little note there (last post, I think).

warrens

Live

I will have to send you a link to an incredibly genius man who knows that it is possible through DNA to both remove illness and to slow the aging process. It is a mesmerizing piece!

But he does say we have to cut out the unhealthy habits and lifestyles.

beckybeagle

Dear SD-

My heart tightened and cried as I read your posts. Another suffering genius in our time. You might be sick of hearing people’s idea of getting better and working on yourself, which make you think they don’t understand you. You might be thinking it is wasting of your time and energy to keep posting here.

You and I share many similar ideas yet very different approach to them.

As you said, I have spent most of my life figuring out the purpose of my life and why I am here. My one of very first memory was me wondering what the life was under warm sunshine at preschool age. – It could be manipulated or could be real memory. Fortunately, I found my answer during my spiritual journey. I am here to be happy, to help others and to make this world better place, lifting up overall consciousness of human beings.


Why waste time to help myself while I can help others? Great idea. Truly.
If it leads you to total satisfaction and to a point where you can totally forget about your problem. One of my masters said if we focus on bigger issues than personal, not only we forget or realize how small our personal problems are but also we can grow up even further spiritually. Question is
“Are we ready to do that?” What have you done to help others? Do you have a specific plan or vision to put into your ideas in action?

Let’s say we are physically disabled, maybe half functional or can’t function at all physically. How are we supposed to help others? You need to get help from others to take care of daily stuff, feeding, bathing or just to move around. What happen to our bigger vision then? I think you get my point here.
I say this because I am not physically 100%, which caused me some mental problems, to push aside my spiritual side and also stops me from doing daily stuff always taken for granted by healthy people. Thus I need to work on myself to get better to work on bigger picture: to help others.

I am very unhappy how the world is going, not only US. We are self-destructing ourselves and Mother Nature “Earth”. If we keep going like this, there will be no future for us. Do you think US is bad? Take some time off if you can afford, take a trip to some under developed countries and stay there for good period of time to see what their life is like; poor part of Africa, India, Middle East or South Asia…. Sorry we have so well here in US, we take it granted and keep on complaining about life, corruption, manipulation of media. I am not saying they are OK. We definitely need to work on issues.
People do care what is happening, I think there are more than what you consider. Yes I have to agree majority of people seem to have no idea, don’t care and take every single situation passively, and pay whatever market put price on. However, there might be plenty of people who are afraid of voice their opinion even though they know things are wrong. One of problem is people are afraid of being isolated from groups they belong to.

You need to talk to my husband LOL, he will totally agree with you on this part “I feel the world will only be acceptable if there is a mass awakening and revolt, eugenics is utilized, or an apocalyptic event wipes 80% of the population off the earth and we have a chance to start over”. He is bull headed, opinionated yet one of the most descent wonderful human being. I still learn a lot from him.

Why do you think there are so many Peace Corps, environmental groups, “fighting to hunger” and spiritual movement to make this world better..etc? You don’t see them in action because they are not in interest of media. – Maybe you are also a victim of media play?? - Media is no longer source of news or information, well most of them I should say, they go for any issues that give them higher rating. Thus all we see first thing in the morning is another shooting, killing, robbery, and sexual assault. Bla bla bla.. I stopped watching local news long time ago.

I totally agree it is really depressive world. However, it doesn’t give us any excuse to turn ourselves to meds in my humble opinion. Depression, clinically speaking, starts way early than you think, even during fetus and infancy period, far before you realize and understand the problem of the world. Unfortunately, western medical practice is focused on fixing the symptoms not the cause. What is even worse is far less studies done to PREVENT illness. I had a chance to do extensive reading on studies on depression. I might be bias but all I could feel from these totally different studies was people crying for attention and love, especially children. I agree with humanistic and existential theories on our current emotional crisis, either losing contact with Nature by Fromm or not having myth to follow by May-my favorite. Rollo May’s book is amazing. I strongly recommend you to read “Cry for Myth” It might give you different perspectives.

It’s quite long, huh? I would start to sit back and see the situation you are in. Ask yourself brutally honest. Is helping others truly your goal of life? Or is it just fantasy or mask you want to hide behind to justify your fear or irony whatever you want to call them. - Sorry I am so blunt. Sorry if I hurt your feeling. I ask same question to myself time to time. I really want to you to look into spiritual journey, at least to broaden your perspectives or see things from different angle, if you are not spiritual person. That helped me a lot. I’d better stop babbling. I spend good 2 hours to write this because you reached me so closely and I do care about you.

See you around
Love and Hugs

SpaceDementia

beckybeagle,
First let me tell you that you can't possibly know how much I appreciate your post. I appreciate the time you took to type as well as the time you took to read my posts. I've read your posts the other day and know what you're going through in regards to your relationships with your doctors, the struggles with pain medication and the like. I'm going to try and respond to everything you mentioned in your post. My concentration is still iffy and my pattern of thought certainly isn't linear at the moment so please bare with me.
I think we share a mutual comprehension of the importance of the whole over the part as well as the power of Mother Nature "Earth". Part of my problem with civilization is that I feel we have strayed far from living a more natural existence. By natural existence I mean living a life while having a truly symbiotic relationship with our planet. Some people will notice that they feel better when they spend the day walking through the woods or playing in a field under our star. That's where we're supposed to be. I felt this in one of my earliest memories. I was born in Orange County CA and love going to the beach. I remember the feeling of the warm sand on my feet and the sand between my toes. That friction felt wonderful. Of course, when your three years old you haven't developed logic yet but certainly you have feelings. You can sense that power. My family moved to Europe a year later. We lived in Rogiers which is a section a Brussels. I remember going to the park in our new neighborhood and being fascinated by the fact that the trees were different, the grass felt different, the smell was different yet that indescribable power remained. We moved several more times before settling in Louisville but regardless of where we were I always felt at home being outside.
I have five older siblings, (20,19,18,17, and 8 years older than I) who live all over. Starting when I was 9 or so my parents would send me to stay with one for a few weeks every summer. Sometimes it was back to California, sometimes Holland, and sometimes back to Belgium again. If I had my way I would take a trip that started today and ended when I couldn't move any longer. Having spent extensive time out of the country I've seen how others live differently from Americans, sometimes better, sometimes not. It gives me a basis for comparison.

Your Quote:"Why do you think there are so many Peace Corps, environmental groups, “fighting to hunger” and spiritual movement to make this world better..etc? You don’t see them in action because they are not in interest of media. – Maybe you are also a victim of media play??"

I'm aware of the Peace Corps and all of the other various organizations out there trying to make the world a better place in some capacity, however, I'm very suspicious of them. They seem to be a bureaucrat mess at their higher levels. The most prominent organizations, in my opinion, exaggerate their cases to receive greater financial support which not all of goes towards the cars(it's important their top people drive German sports cars). I base this opinion off research I have done and experiences that other people that I've known have had.
To your point about being affected by the media I don't deny that I am not susceptible to the influence like everyone else. I've at times caught myself with feelings that I knew were baseless. I've realized at times that I've been had too. Several years ago I made the conscious decision to longer watch or read the primary sources of information in this country. I only read news sources from other countries as just about every country regardless of their native language has a media source in English. Even then I still wonder if what I'm reading is unbiased. But, if a person were to only accept that which they have personally experienced you'd go completely bonkers.

Your quote:"I would start to sit back and see the situation you are in. Ask yourself brutally honest. Is helping others truly your goal of life? Or is it just fantasy or mask you want to hide behind to justify your fear or irony whatever you want to call them. - Sorry I am so blunt. Sorry if I hurt your feeling."

Firstly let me assure that you didn't hurt my feelings. When I was 14 I was in the hospital because I had attempted to make an exit from this world. My brother was the first person I saw when I regained consciousness. He came over to me and handed me a copy of the Tao Te Ching. That book let me realize that there is a righteous path to this life. I wasn't convinced at the time that I could achieve such a feat but at least I knew it was plausible. In Chapter 9 I came across this passage, "Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner." That one line began to lift my social anxiety. I realized that when someone says something negative about me that when I am hurt by that I am giving that person power over me. I haven't had my feelings hurt in ten years. So please, be blunt, don't hold anything back on my account.
As far as motives go for helping people I completely understand how saying you want to help and actually helping are two different things. Let me say that I feel ten times more joy when I make someone else's life better than when someone makes my life better. I've lost track of the number of times I've been downtown and been approached by an obviously homeless person and asked for change. I've also lost track of the number of times I've taken a homeless person to Denny's and bought them whatever they want. I've lost track of the number of times that I've worked late or taken other people's shifts so that I can have the satisfaction of knowing that I made their life better in some way. I don't care if people appreciate the things I do or not. I can't explain why I do this anymore than I can explain the energy I feel when I'm in nature. After having just typed that it occurred to me that I've never told anyone this before. Wow, I can't believe that.
We are all one. We are all the same. When you drop your beliefs, your insecurities, your Nike tennis shoes, and your Ralph Lauren shirts, what is left? A human being capable of something amazing. A human being is capable of anything when spiritually awakened. And let me tell you that my definition of anything is: ANYTHING. There is nothing more powerful than the love between two human beings save one thing, in my opinion of course; two human being that share an intense love by coupling. Being connected, being one is important. United we stand divided we fall.
Beckybeagle, I care about you as well. I spent 2 hours typing this(minus a couple smoke breaks). I didn't edit it any so I apologize for any incorrect syntax or poor punctuation. I hope the two hours you spent typing your post made that time a little bit better as these past two hours for me let me forget the hot flashes, the shakes, and grumbling tummy.
Talk you soon.

beckybeagle

Sorry I haven't replied you back. But didn't forgot about you either.
I had a midterm - I usually get sick after a test or term paper, been sick on and off,
and finally got a stomach flu, to support my husband started couple days ago. *wink.

Cold and humidity (rain and snow) are one of the worst enemies to my back, muscle and joint pain. Man I am talking like a 70yo grandma! heheheh

My brain is fried (Is that a news? phhhaaa). I will get back to see as you as foggy clears a little and my body can afford to sit down long enough write back.