Sober 3 months & under Part 2
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by theonlyway 
Anyhow, I'm back... And I hear exactly what you are saying.. SF and everyone. I hit that 30 days yesterday and I'm concerned with this bravado I have. I put myself in ONE position already last week (similar to the night NM's room mate had that party and he did SO AWESOME!! ) and yesterday proceeded to commit to another situation for this coming Sunday.
I don't find myself willing to "let go" --I guess is what it is?? ..and ealize that as Im typing this, I had no idea I was going to just say that...
I'm not ready to let go of those friends, those ideas, those places and things... the comfort of it all.
I did well hanging with and having a good time with all my drunk friends for a birthday last week --and was/am so very proud of that. Yesterday I let them talk me into (ok, I agree to...) going out for a bonfire and snowmobiling this coming Sunday. (who on EARTH has bonfires when there is 3' of snow on the ground? -oh, that would be MY drunk friends! lol)
Anyhow, a few of them know I've quit drinking... some of them have noticed I haven't been around much... Now I'm having second thoughts about posting this. I don't want to worry anyone.
I still plan to play it by ear, so nothing is really set in stone yet. I volunteered to be the DD for those not riding sleds to the spot... we'll see.
I don't find myself willing to "let go" --I guess is what it is?? ..and ealize that as Im typing this, I had no idea I was going to just say that...
I'm not ready to let go of those friends, those ideas, those places and things... the comfort of it all.
I did well hanging with and having a good time with all my drunk friends for a birthday last week --and was/am so very proud of that. Yesterday I let them talk me into (ok, I agree to...) going out for a bonfire and snowmobiling this coming Sunday. (who on EARTH has bonfires when there is 3' of snow on the ground? -oh, that would be MY drunk friends! lol)
Anyhow, a few of them know I've quit drinking... some of them have noticed I haven't been around much... Now I'm having second thoughts about posting this. I don't want to worry anyone.
I still plan to play it by ear, so nothing is really set in stone yet. I volunteered to be the DD for those not riding sleds to the spot... we'll see.
"I'm not ready to let go of those friends, those ideas, those places and things... the comfort of it all." I'm assuming that this doesn't include drinking. No reminiscing of the "good" old days?
I'm not trying to spook you, but last summer, after a couple of months of sobriety, I went to a huge family barbeque, intent on not drinking. When I first got there, a friend asked me "Still quit drinking?" I said yes. He then said, jokingly, "Want a beer?" I said yes. It can happen just like that.
Take care and I hope I'm not out of line for posting this. In kindness & concern, D.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
Originally Posted by theonlyway
I don't find myself willing to "let go" --I guess is what it is?? ..and ealize that as Im typing this, I had no idea I was going to just say that...
I'm not ready to let go of those friends, those ideas, those places and things... the comfort of it all.
I did well hanging with and having a good time with all my drunk friends for a birthday last week --and was/am so very proud of that. Yesterday I let them talk me into (ok, I agree to...) going out for a bonfire and snowmobiling this coming Sunday. (who on EARTH has bonfires when there is 3' of snow on the ground? -oh, that would be MY drunk friends! lol)
~C
Changing people, places, and things is very important in early recovery. There's a reason we have to change all these things. It's for our life, so we can recover from this disease and get and stay sober. That's just my own opinion.
Barb
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: CowTown, CA
Posts: 81
Hi everyone!
I'm feeling like I'm starting to plan my failure. I'm at 36 days, and since the 3rd or 4th day, I am not having desires to drink. I'm feeling good about not drinking, and wondering why it was so difficult in the past. What worries me is I'm starting to think that I don't need to go through the entire 12 steps. What's the point? I don't feel bad about myself anymore, and I've no desire to start up again. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do now that I'm sober, and splitting up my days off with these noon meetings is getting old. I've been slow at working my 4th step, and it seems like I can instantly run the process through to see where I screwed things up initially, so a lot of this writing stuff is just so tedious. I wish I could just jump to step 8 and get it over with.
I haven't given up yet, but I can see the wheels are turning. Just know, that I in no way think or want to give up sobriety, just the 12 step program.
Doed this happen to everyone?
I'm feeling like I'm starting to plan my failure. I'm at 36 days, and since the 3rd or 4th day, I am not having desires to drink. I'm feeling good about not drinking, and wondering why it was so difficult in the past. What worries me is I'm starting to think that I don't need to go through the entire 12 steps. What's the point? I don't feel bad about myself anymore, and I've no desire to start up again. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do now that I'm sober, and splitting up my days off with these noon meetings is getting old. I've been slow at working my 4th step, and it seems like I can instantly run the process through to see where I screwed things up initially, so a lot of this writing stuff is just so tedious. I wish I could just jump to step 8 and get it over with.
I haven't given up yet, but I can see the wheels are turning. Just know, that I in no way think or want to give up sobriety, just the 12 step program.
Doed this happen to everyone?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 358
Hi All. Just checking in. Made it through day 2. Yay!
As most of you know, I had 40 days, then fell off for five.
I see a few people here who are worried about falling off. My main advice may sound obvious, but it's meant in a heart-felt way: Take time to think a few times a day, and think "What do I need to do today to keep sober?"
I feel like I did this very often in the beginning, and I totally fell off it during the week leading up to my relapse. My general feeling was "I've got the hang of this now."
What each person needs is going to be different. But think and do what YOU need. And listen to each other and your friends who have gone before you.
Just some advice from a humble Day-Twoer. I can also tell you that I felt so significantly better today than I did yesterday. I had that feeling in sobriety where it's like, "Wow, it's easier to stay sober than it is to drink." Not to say that it's easy. It's just easier for the person I want to be easy on: ME! When you're coming off a drink binge like me, you'll know that to be true.
In order to stay sober today, I did a lot of things that were harder than drinking. But there's no comparison between the ease in my mind. Today I have some, even if a small bit. Yesterday, I couldn't even remember what that ease was like.
Best wishes everyone. Thanks for being here.
As most of you know, I had 40 days, then fell off for five.
I see a few people here who are worried about falling off. My main advice may sound obvious, but it's meant in a heart-felt way: Take time to think a few times a day, and think "What do I need to do today to keep sober?"
I feel like I did this very often in the beginning, and I totally fell off it during the week leading up to my relapse. My general feeling was "I've got the hang of this now."
What each person needs is going to be different. But think and do what YOU need. And listen to each other and your friends who have gone before you.
Just some advice from a humble Day-Twoer. I can also tell you that I felt so significantly better today than I did yesterday. I had that feeling in sobriety where it's like, "Wow, it's easier to stay sober than it is to drink." Not to say that it's easy. It's just easier for the person I want to be easy on: ME! When you're coming off a drink binge like me, you'll know that to be true.
In order to stay sober today, I did a lot of things that were harder than drinking. But there's no comparison between the ease in my mind. Today I have some, even if a small bit. Yesterday, I couldn't even remember what that ease was like.
Best wishes everyone. Thanks for being here.
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
So today on the walk home from work, I realize two things: (1) that I'm really thirsty, and (2) that I'm just walking past my old favorite liquor store. Without even really thinking about it, I turn into the lot. I've done damn good to get this far, right? I deserve to celebrate a little. I head towards the store, pull out my wallet...
...put my dollar into the vending machine outside, crack a grin at the clerk (who's out having a smoke), and head towards home, enjoying my well-deserved soda.
Looks like the thread's been quiet today, hope everyone's doing well.
...put my dollar into the vending machine outside, crack a grin at the clerk (who's out having a smoke), and head towards home, enjoying my well-deserved soda.
Looks like the thread's been quiet today, hope everyone's doing well.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by C2H5OH_Free
Hi everyone!
I'm feeling like I'm starting to plan my failure. I'm at 36 days, and since the 3rd or 4th day, I am not having desires to drink. I'm feeling good about not drinking, and wondering why it was so difficult in the past. What worries me is I'm starting to think that I don't need to go through the entire 12 steps. What's the point? I don't feel bad about myself anymore, and I've no desire to start up again. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do now that I'm sober, and splitting up my days off with these noon meetings is getting old. I've been slow at working my 4th step, and it seems like I can instantly run the process through to see where I screwed things up initially, so a lot of this writing stuff is just so tedious. I wish I could just jump to step 8 and get it over with.
I haven't given up yet, but I can see the wheels are turning. Just know, that I in no way think or want to give up sobriety, just the 12 step program.
Doed this happen to everyone?
I'm feeling like I'm starting to plan my failure. I'm at 36 days, and since the 3rd or 4th day, I am not having desires to drink. I'm feeling good about not drinking, and wondering why it was so difficult in the past. What worries me is I'm starting to think that I don't need to go through the entire 12 steps. What's the point? I don't feel bad about myself anymore, and I've no desire to start up again. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do now that I'm sober, and splitting up my days off with these noon meetings is getting old. I've been slow at working my 4th step, and it seems like I can instantly run the process through to see where I screwed things up initially, so a lot of this writing stuff is just so tedious. I wish I could just jump to step 8 and get it over with.
I haven't given up yet, but I can see the wheels are turning. Just know, that I in no way think or want to give up sobriety, just the 12 step program.
Doed this happen to everyone?
I kind of see where you are coming from. Things are going good, I accept that I can't drink, I'm okay with never drinking again. But in my case, I really only feel great, secure with my sobriety most of the time . I know I'm not healthy yet. I've had highly emotional situations where the old obsession/craving was trying desperately to take hold. I feel lucky that at the time I had sufficent strength and resources to overcome it. May not be so lucky in the future. This is why I have to keep working on my sobriety.
I'm also kind of stalled on my 4th step - got 3/4's of it done 2 weeks ago, nothing since (too busy, tired). I will finish it up this weekend though. Meetings have been kept kind of 'fresh' for me as I only attend once a week (again, too busy) but I talk to my sponsor a couple of times a week.
67 days ago, I committed to myself that I would complete all 12 steps no matter what. I certainly see no downside in finishing what I started but I do see a huge upside. Even if in the grand scheme of things it turns out that I could have achieved sobriety & happiness without AA, I would rather not test that theory. My drinking had gotten so bad I have to attack it in every way I can. I have way too much at risk (my family, my career, even my life) to get complacent. That being said, I do believe that everyones path to sobriety is unique. This is just my approach.
Best wishes!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by Negative Man
I see a few people here who are worried about falling off. My main advice may sound obvious, but it's meant in a heart-felt way: Take time to think a few times a day, and think "What do I need to do today to keep sober?"
I feel like I did this very often in the beginning, and I totally fell off it during the week leading up to my relapse. My general feeling was "I've got the hang of this now."
What each person needs is going to be different. But think and do what YOU need. And listen to each other and your friends who have gone before you.
Just some advice from a humble Day-Twoer. I can also tell you that I felt so significantly better today than I did yesterday. I had that feeling in sobriety where it's like, "Wow, it's easier to stay sober than it is to drink." Not to say that it's easy. It's just easier for the person I want to be easy on: ME! When you're coming off a drink binge like me, you'll know that to be true.
In order to stay sober today, I did a lot of things that were harder than drinking. But there's no comparison between the ease in my mind. Today I have some, even if a small bit. Yesterday, I couldn't even remember what that ease was like.
I feel like I did this very often in the beginning, and I totally fell off it during the week leading up to my relapse. My general feeling was "I've got the hang of this now."
What each person needs is going to be different. But think and do what YOU need. And listen to each other and your friends who have gone before you.
Just some advice from a humble Day-Twoer. I can also tell you that I felt so significantly better today than I did yesterday. I had that feeling in sobriety where it's like, "Wow, it's easier to stay sober than it is to drink." Not to say that it's easy. It's just easier for the person I want to be easy on: ME! When you're coming off a drink binge like me, you'll know that to be true.
In order to stay sober today, I did a lot of things that were harder than drinking. But there's no comparison between the ease in my mind. Today I have some, even if a small bit. Yesterday, I couldn't even remember what that ease was like.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by tellus
So today on the walk home from work, I realize two things: (1) that I'm really thirsty, and (2) that I'm just walking past my old favorite liquor store. Without even really thinking about it, I turn into the lot. I've done damn good to get this far, right? I deserve to celebrate a little. I head towards the store, pull out my wallet...
...put my dollar into the vending machine outside, crack a grin at the clerk (who's out having a smoke), and head towards home, enjoying my well-deserved soda.
Looks like the thread's been quiet today, hope everyone's doing well.
...put my dollar into the vending machine outside, crack a grin at the clerk (who's out having a smoke), and head towards home, enjoying my well-deserved soda.
Looks like the thread's been quiet today, hope everyone's doing well.
Thanks for the laugh (and the scare)! I will get you back for this, and when you least expect it...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Michigan -- Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Posts: 325
Dean, Gravity, Barb --- THANK YOU!!~
I know and understand the concerns. I have them myself, and I'm fighting with them.
Someone recently told me... "You don't have to change anything in soberiety, you just have to chang EVERYthing."
I'm rationalizing, I'm sure, but here's me...
Last Monday (Birthday), I really didnt' want a drink. I didn't feel deprived. I was a little bummed when everyone was singing and dancing at first because i LOVE to sing and dance -- but only when I'm drunk enough to not 'care'-- you know....
BUT then I looked at everyone and decided... h*ll... they're all trashed, how could tey even notice if I suk at it?? --so, I started dancing, and had a great time.
Last night after my meeting, I stopped in to say Hello to my "old friends"... had a tonic (2 actually), then left and I was ok with that. I didn't WANT to be drunk.
That's what I mean about being a little afraid of my bravado. I feel "okay"... The only drinking I'm missing is, as I've already ranted on, my wine at home at night. I don't know-- it's weird.
I mean... I think if I tried to change EVERYTHING all at once, I'd go crazy... I'm pretty sure I'd suffer from as much if not more "friends/socialization" withdrawl as the drinking withdrawls.....
Does this make sense to anyone??
I haven't made enough "AA Friends" to fill that void in any significant way. I want to, I'm working on it, but its not there yet.
I'm going to my meetings, coming to SR, going to my counseling, doing my reading...
Had 2 job interviews and was just offered one today (not sure I'll take it yet...)
I'm "getting" my house back in order (house, my real, tangible house...)
I have a TON of work to do on Steps, I know... and I'm working on finding a sponsor. Last night I went to an all women's AA meeting in another nearby town..., that was interesting. I'm in smalltown Michigan and the women at our meetings (all 3 in a week) are few and far between. So, that's another step that was suggested and that I'm taking toward finding a sponsor to work with.
I dont' know if I want to drink (yet somehow my mind keeps separating my wine from 'drinking' -- and i DEFINATELY want that!!), but I WANT to be normal.
SIGH -- i'm rambling...
I'm intrigued with the 'no long timers with active drinking friends' concept. ...food for thought....
?? -- never worry about giving me caring, loving advice-- I'm all for all the constructive criticism and support I can get.
Thank you for being here.
Hugs ~C
NM -- i'm SO glad ur still here!!
I know and understand the concerns. I have them myself, and I'm fighting with them.
Someone recently told me... "You don't have to change anything in soberiety, you just have to chang EVERYthing."
I'm rationalizing, I'm sure, but here's me...
Last Monday (Birthday), I really didnt' want a drink. I didn't feel deprived. I was a little bummed when everyone was singing and dancing at first because i LOVE to sing and dance -- but only when I'm drunk enough to not 'care'-- you know....
BUT then I looked at everyone and decided... h*ll... they're all trashed, how could tey even notice if I suk at it?? --so, I started dancing, and had a great time.
Last night after my meeting, I stopped in to say Hello to my "old friends"... had a tonic (2 actually), then left and I was ok with that. I didn't WANT to be drunk.
That's what I mean about being a little afraid of my bravado. I feel "okay"... The only drinking I'm missing is, as I've already ranted on, my wine at home at night. I don't know-- it's weird.
I mean... I think if I tried to change EVERYTHING all at once, I'd go crazy... I'm pretty sure I'd suffer from as much if not more "friends/socialization" withdrawl as the drinking withdrawls.....
Does this make sense to anyone??
I haven't made enough "AA Friends" to fill that void in any significant way. I want to, I'm working on it, but its not there yet.
I'm going to my meetings, coming to SR, going to my counseling, doing my reading...
Had 2 job interviews and was just offered one today (not sure I'll take it yet...)
I'm "getting" my house back in order (house, my real, tangible house...)
I have a TON of work to do on Steps, I know... and I'm working on finding a sponsor. Last night I went to an all women's AA meeting in another nearby town..., that was interesting. I'm in smalltown Michigan and the women at our meetings (all 3 in a week) are few and far between. So, that's another step that was suggested and that I'm taking toward finding a sponsor to work with.
I dont' know if I want to drink (yet somehow my mind keeps separating my wine from 'drinking' -- and i DEFINATELY want that!!), but I WANT to be normal.
SIGH -- i'm rambling...
I'm intrigued with the 'no long timers with active drinking friends' concept. ...food for thought....
?? -- never worry about giving me caring, loving advice-- I'm all for all the constructive criticism and support I can get.
Thank you for being here.
Hugs ~C
NM -- i'm SO glad ur still here!!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hey theonlyway,
You know, when I look back over the past few weeks, I did put myself in a few situations where my work colleagues were drinking. Most notably, I went to a hockey game in Toronto with three work colleagues/friends who were drinking & offering me drinks. I've also sat in bars (like for 20 minutes) & restaurants with people who were drinking. These particular people are not heavy drinkers (that I know anyway). I have to admit that I was uncomfortable & starting to crave at these times. This was my drinking environment. Out of town, work pressure/excitement, people to drink with. I guess that's a difference between us - I have virtually no problems abstaining at home, it's a safe haven for me - I am thankful for this. I understand the "friends/socialization withdrawal" situation. How many evenings can I sit alone in my hotel room when others are out kicking back, having fun? I just have to try to keep focused and sort of assess the threat to my sobriety.
I'm still considering the 'no long timers with active drinking friends' concept. My wife & sister drink occasionally (like, a couple of drinks a few times a year). My brother and my two best friends abuse alcohol - while I know they would support me if I told them I don't drink, what if I was having a tough go of it and asked them if they wanted to go for a drink, keeping in mind that they have their own drinking issues to deal with? For now, I talk to them and see them in circumstances where the likelyhood of drinking is pretty remote (eg. out for breakfast, sliding with the kids).
Anyhow, thanks for the post. You sound good, on track. Stay strong!
You know, when I look back over the past few weeks, I did put myself in a few situations where my work colleagues were drinking. Most notably, I went to a hockey game in Toronto with three work colleagues/friends who were drinking & offering me drinks. I've also sat in bars (like for 20 minutes) & restaurants with people who were drinking. These particular people are not heavy drinkers (that I know anyway). I have to admit that I was uncomfortable & starting to crave at these times. This was my drinking environment. Out of town, work pressure/excitement, people to drink with. I guess that's a difference between us - I have virtually no problems abstaining at home, it's a safe haven for me - I am thankful for this. I understand the "friends/socialization withdrawal" situation. How many evenings can I sit alone in my hotel room when others are out kicking back, having fun? I just have to try to keep focused and sort of assess the threat to my sobriety.
I'm still considering the 'no long timers with active drinking friends' concept. My wife & sister drink occasionally (like, a couple of drinks a few times a year). My brother and my two best friends abuse alcohol - while I know they would support me if I told them I don't drink, what if I was having a tough go of it and asked them if they wanted to go for a drink, keeping in mind that they have their own drinking issues to deal with? For now, I talk to them and see them in circumstances where the likelyhood of drinking is pretty remote (eg. out for breakfast, sliding with the kids).
Anyhow, thanks for the post. You sound good, on track. Stay strong!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 358
Big thanks to theonly, Tay-Lyn, and Barb for saving my *ss tonight with some well-timed PMs and Wall postings. Man, I came home ready to drink myself under the basement.
I get by with a little (lot of!) help from my friends. Day Four just about done. Feels like a month! But not in the good way!
Hi to everyone. I hope everyone's doing well!
I get by with a little (lot of!) help from my friends. Day Four just about done. Feels like a month! But not in the good way!
Hi to everyone. I hope everyone's doing well!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
Posts: 4,639
I'm glad your handing in there NM. It will get easier. That's what everyone tells me. Congratulations on making it through day 4.
Tonight's the end of day 35 for me. Really rough week with all the stuff with my cats. i really wanted to drink today, but i made it through. I went to my meeting tonight and talked to people. Now i feel so much better. Tomorrow night is my home group meeting. i can't wait. It's my favorite meeting of the week. I really feel like I'm at home at that group.
Take care everyone. Tomorrow's another day of hope.
Barb
Tonight's the end of day 35 for me. Really rough week with all the stuff with my cats. i really wanted to drink today, but i made it through. I went to my meeting tonight and talked to people. Now i feel so much better. Tomorrow night is my home group meeting. i can't wait. It's my favorite meeting of the week. I really feel like I'm at home at that group.
Take care everyone. Tomorrow's another day of hope.
Barb
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: RI
Posts: 31
Hi All, I didn't join the two weks and under club for fear that I might have to drop out but here I am almost four weeks so figured I would join the 3 months sober club. I'm happy to be here and thrilled to be sober.
When I get a chance I'll read the first three pages here but for now I just wanted to throw in with you all. Three pages so something must be working here.
Thanks for listening,
Sportster
When I get a chance I'll read the first three pages here but for now I just wanted to throw in with you all. Three pages so something must be working here.
Thanks for listening,
Sportster
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Barb: Congrats of the 5 weeks! I know it's been an especially bad week for you, but I'm really proud that you were able to work your way through it and stay sober. Great job!
NM: glad to see you came here for support last night. I know it's a struggle, but keep it up!
Sportster: Welcome to the thread and congrats on the four weeks!
NM: glad to see you came here for support last night. I know it's a struggle, but keep it up!
Sportster: Welcome to the thread and congrats on the four weeks!
Rob From Canada eh!!
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario
Posts: 95
Rob has fellen of the wagon
Hi everyone,
I am posting this after drinking 4 beers,
I have had a very stressful couple of weeks, my job has been very demanding, my home life has been over loaded. Mentally and physically.
My house is for sale, my dog was in to be fixed, my wife's office asked me to move all there computers and telephones equipment (that's a skill I have)
I left my wife's office today feeling very frustrated, all afternoon having my old thoughts about working hard and rewarding myself with beer on the way home.
Many times I talked myself out of going to the beer store all afternoon, but the whole process was so frustrating and I just am so tired from working so many hours at work. ( I know that I have preached about just saying no and I am sorry for that)
I drove by the beer store three times. finally I stopped, actually I went to the liquor store because beer is less expensive there. I bought 4 beers and headed home. Because I didn't want my son to see me drink I stopped around the corner from my house ( I live in the country) and drank the beer
I sat there and listened to my radio and had so many feelings go through my head, I drank the first beer and thought this is so wrong, but the old feelings won and I drank the second. That's when I knew I had made a mistake.
At that point I decided that this was only going to happen today, that I was going to get back on my goal and move on, I listen to the music and drank the other two beers. And went home.
My wife was not happy with me but after I explained what was going on in my head she understood and was happy that I just drank 4 beers and came home.
I am really sorry guys, I have let you down.
I don't think I would have made it this far without you,
I am back on day one,
Love and hugs
Rob
I am posting this after drinking 4 beers,
I have had a very stressful couple of weeks, my job has been very demanding, my home life has been over loaded. Mentally and physically.
My house is for sale, my dog was in to be fixed, my wife's office asked me to move all there computers and telephones equipment (that's a skill I have)
I left my wife's office today feeling very frustrated, all afternoon having my old thoughts about working hard and rewarding myself with beer on the way home.
Many times I talked myself out of going to the beer store all afternoon, but the whole process was so frustrating and I just am so tired from working so many hours at work. ( I know that I have preached about just saying no and I am sorry for that)
I drove by the beer store three times. finally I stopped, actually I went to the liquor store because beer is less expensive there. I bought 4 beers and headed home. Because I didn't want my son to see me drink I stopped around the corner from my house ( I live in the country) and drank the beer
I sat there and listened to my radio and had so many feelings go through my head, I drank the first beer and thought this is so wrong, but the old feelings won and I drank the second. That's when I knew I had made a mistake.
At that point I decided that this was only going to happen today, that I was going to get back on my goal and move on, I listen to the music and drank the other two beers. And went home.
My wife was not happy with me but after I explained what was going on in my head she understood and was happy that I just drank 4 beers and came home.
I am really sorry guys, I have let you down.
I don't think I would have made it this far without you,
I am back on day one,
Love and hugs
Rob
Anxiety King
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 403
Thank you for sharing and being honest Rob. You haven't let me down. I know none of us are perfect. You've done a lot of hard work (and that hasn't been lost), and this is just a slip. All any of us can do is keep trying. Take care of yourself!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hi Rob,
You have been and will continue to be a source of strength & inspiration for me. You put together a great stretch of time without drinking, enough to appreciate what a gift sobriety can be for yourself & your family.
What really helps me when I need to relieve stress is that I try to do other things to unwind, sort things out, get out of my head, or reward myself. Exercise is a big one for me - gym membership, mountain biking, cross country skiing. Taking my family out to dinner and playing with my kids are also awesome rewards - my kids, their laughter & excitement. I also have people I can vent my frustrations to. Sometimes just kicking back and watching a hockey game on TV (like right now) or a movie gets me out of my head. Much better results than drinking!
You know what I liked about your post? "I am back on day one." Your not giving up and that's all anyone can really do.
Take care my friend.
D
You have been and will continue to be a source of strength & inspiration for me. You put together a great stretch of time without drinking, enough to appreciate what a gift sobriety can be for yourself & your family.
What really helps me when I need to relieve stress is that I try to do other things to unwind, sort things out, get out of my head, or reward myself. Exercise is a big one for me - gym membership, mountain biking, cross country skiing. Taking my family out to dinner and playing with my kids are also awesome rewards - my kids, their laughter & excitement. I also have people I can vent my frustrations to. Sometimes just kicking back and watching a hockey game on TV (like right now
) or a movie gets me out of my head. Much better results than drinking!You know what I liked about your post? "I am back on day one." Your not giving up and that's all anyone can really do.
Take care my friend.
D
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