Your Thoughts Please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3
Your Thoughts Please
Hi everyone, I'm new here, and would like to introduce myself
I'm 31, engaged to my beautiful girlfriend, we have two children, (3 year old son, 1 year old daughter)
I've been a weekend drinker for a few years now, and I'm starting to worry about it.
Every Friday after work, or school, it's straight to the liquor store and drinking at home, usually my myself or with my good buddy
I'm wondering If I would be considered and alcoholic? Anyone have any similar experience? Should I be worried?
I would like to stop this habit, but it seems that every Friday that's what I look forward to and won't stop it.
Any suggestions or feedback would be great!
Thanks
I'm 31, engaged to my beautiful girlfriend, we have two children, (3 year old son, 1 year old daughter)
I've been a weekend drinker for a few years now, and I'm starting to worry about it.
Every Friday after work, or school, it's straight to the liquor store and drinking at home, usually my myself or with my good buddy
I'm wondering If I would be considered and alcoholic? Anyone have any similar experience? Should I be worried?
I would like to stop this habit, but it seems that every Friday that's what I look forward to and won't stop it.
Any suggestions or feedback would be great!
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
First, Welcome to SR!
Well, hun, they always say that it isn't how much or how often you drink that makes you an "alcoholic". It's what it does to your life. The fact that you say you plan your drinking, look forward to it and won't stop it makes it sound like it may, indeed, be a problem.
Have you ever seriously tried to quit or control your drinking? Many people here suggest stopping completely for a set period of time, like 30 or 90 days. If you can do that with no problem, then maybe you are not an alcoholic and can be a social drinker.
However, if you can't stop...well, then you know it's a problem.
I would also recommend a chat with your girlfriend. See how she views your drinking. Is it hurting you? or her? or your kids? Are you taking risks, like driving while your drinking? Does your personality change when you drink? Does it affect your ability to be a good partner and parent? Does it or will it affect your health? Is the amount you're drinking escalating?
These kinds of questions might get you closer to what you are trying to find out.
Good luck and keep posting.
Well, hun, they always say that it isn't how much or how often you drink that makes you an "alcoholic". It's what it does to your life. The fact that you say you plan your drinking, look forward to it and won't stop it makes it sound like it may, indeed, be a problem.
Have you ever seriously tried to quit or control your drinking? Many people here suggest stopping completely for a set period of time, like 30 or 90 days. If you can do that with no problem, then maybe you are not an alcoholic and can be a social drinker.
However, if you can't stop...well, then you know it's a problem.
I would also recommend a chat with your girlfriend. See how she views your drinking. Is it hurting you? or her? or your kids? Are you taking risks, like driving while your drinking? Does your personality change when you drink? Does it affect your ability to be a good partner and parent? Does it or will it affect your health? Is the amount you're drinking escalating?
These kinds of questions might get you closer to what you are trying to find out.
Good luck and keep posting.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Only you can say whether or not you are alcoholic. I am, but from what you have already shared it is hard to tell. There are plenty of people that party on the weekends only--and are ok during the week. My question--Is drinking on your mind constantly? Do you refuse to go to functions if there is no alcohol present? Or do you go, but drink plenty beforehand? To me it sounds like you are just hanging out with friends--trying to have a good time. Does anything bad happen to you when you drink? I used to party on the weekends at first--but it soon progressed into more and more drinking--including drinking on lunch breaks>because I needed that drink to make it through the day. My opinion, from what you have shared, is that if you continue on this route--you do have the potential to become an alcoholic---but again>you must decide for yourself.
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
Good advice jomie. Another thing to watch for, after you have a couple of drinks, do you find that you crave more? ie, can you have 3 drinks and stop? If no that is another sign to watch for.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3
Thank you for the quick reply and thanks for that advise!
I am going to try and stop for 30 days now (March 17th goal) and will let you know how it goes. I will also chat with her tonight and get her opinion on the matter. - I know what she will say
I have taken risks in the past with driving (to many risks) and as a result have damaged my truck! (4x4ing) That was in the past and I have stopped that! My personality does change when I'm drinking, more outgoing and social. (from my view).
Thank you again for those pointers, something I never thought about before!
I am going to try and stop for 30 days now (March 17th goal) and will let you know how it goes. I will also chat with her tonight and get her opinion on the matter. - I know what she will say
I have taken risks in the past with driving (to many risks) and as a result have damaged my truck! (4x4ing) That was in the past and I have stopped that! My personality does change when I'm drinking, more outgoing and social. (from my view).
Thank you again for those pointers, something I never thought about before!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 3
You guys all have some great advise!!!Drinking is not on my mind constantly, only on Fridays when I look forward to getting home and having that first drink, and it does progress from there.
If there is a function that we are invited too or attend, I do wonder if Alcohol is permitted. But if not, I'm not overly upset about it. I can get through it...
Nothing usually bad happens to me, but sometimes when I go out with friends to a club or pub, I'm looking to start a fight. But that hasn't happened. *knock on wood*
Once I have a drink, I don't stop, my mind is set on getting that "high" for the night, and so I don't plan on stopping until I go to bed.
I am going to try the 30 day plan and I will post back. *MIND POWER* It will be hard, especially when friends want to go out or come over for drinks! Wish me luck!
Thanks again, you guys are very educational!
Originally Posted by ANGELINA243 
Only you can say whether or not you are alcoholic. I am, but from what you have already shared it is hard to tell. There are plenty of people that party on the weekends only--and are ok during the week. My question--Is drinking on your mind constantly? Do you refuse to go to functions if there is no alcohol present? Or do you go, but drink plenty beforehand? To me it sounds like you are just hanging out with friends--trying to have a good time. Does anything bad happen to you when you drink? I used to party on the weekends at first--but it soon progressed into more and more drinking--including drinking on lunch breaks>because I needed that drink to make it through the day. My opinion, from what you have shared, is that if you continue on this route--you do have the potential to become an alcoholic---but again>you must decide for yourself.
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
I agree that only you can really determine whether or not you are an alcoholic. Only YOU know what its like living inside your body, or what alcohol feels like to you, or all of the effects you experience... On the other side, if you are, then only YOU can accept that -- no one can do it for you.
Some people would say that if you've experienced blackouts, (I'm talking actual blackouts -- "lost time" and not just forgetting something you told someone while drinking), then you have a problem. The reason is because people who aren't alcoholic drinkers simply can't physically tolerate that much alcohol in their systems. Their bodies reject it long before they get to a blackout state.
Another crucial question, in my mind anyway, is the phenomenon of craving while drinking, which is something difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it. About the closest I can come is to say that its an overpowering lust, but even that falls pretty short, (lust can be countered with choice, craving can't). For me it was like every cell in my body would scream for more beer, right here, right now, this instant with my mind so focused on it that nothing else mattered. Not quite like gasping for air but along those same lines.
Another type of craving is withdrawal craving. After I'd "finish" with a hangover, my mind would be constantly thinking about more beer, and about getting drunk again. It wasn't quite the same for me as craving while drinking, but the same "obsessive mental focus" was there.
Something else to consider... The way I was taught, if you weren't drinking to get drunk then you were just wasting the beer... People who don't drink alcoholically do not think that way. To them, alcohol is simply a "social lubricant", like a well stocked buffet. Getting drunk is about the last thing they want to do.
More than anything, I think you need to be completely honest with yourself, (I'm not saying that you aren't). Take a close look without fear of "what does this mean?" Self-examination is always a good thing, (get your minds out the gutters, gals!)
In any case, welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of good people here.
(Here are some things to think about while you consider whether recovery is right for you)...
Excerpts
Some people would say that if you've experienced blackouts, (I'm talking actual blackouts -- "lost time" and not just forgetting something you told someone while drinking), then you have a problem. The reason is because people who aren't alcoholic drinkers simply can't physically tolerate that much alcohol in their systems. Their bodies reject it long before they get to a blackout state.
Another crucial question, in my mind anyway, is the phenomenon of craving while drinking, which is something difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it. About the closest I can come is to say that its an overpowering lust, but even that falls pretty short, (lust can be countered with choice, craving can't). For me it was like every cell in my body would scream for more beer, right here, right now, this instant with my mind so focused on it that nothing else mattered. Not quite like gasping for air but along those same lines.
Another type of craving is withdrawal craving. After I'd "finish" with a hangover, my mind would be constantly thinking about more beer, and about getting drunk again. It wasn't quite the same for me as craving while drinking, but the same "obsessive mental focus" was there.
Something else to consider... The way I was taught, if you weren't drinking to get drunk then you were just wasting the beer... People who don't drink alcoholically do not think that way. To them, alcohol is simply a "social lubricant", like a well stocked buffet. Getting drunk is about the last thing they want to do.
More than anything, I think you need to be completely honest with yourself, (I'm not saying that you aren't). Take a close look without fear of "what does this mean?" Self-examination is always a good thing, (get your minds out the gutters, gals!)
In any case, welcome to SR! You'll find a lot of good people here.
(Here are some things to think about while you consider whether recovery is right for you)...
Excerpts
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 11
welcome sil3n2! I'm pretty new here myself but have been reading posts for a while - the breadth of experience and advice here is astounding. I don't know as much about alcoholism as some of the others on this board, but I can tell you that it seems like alcoholism can't be quantified, like if you have x number of drinks on x number of days you are an alcoholic, or if you don't think about alcohol during the day then you're not an alcoholic.
I'm trying to listen to my gut instinct when it comes to how I feel about drinking. It sounds like you aren't comfortable with craving alcohol on the weekends, but as the good people of this board say, only you have the capacity to decide if it's a real problem or not. Keep reading these boards, you can tell a lot about your experiences by reading the other posts.
Take care.
I'm trying to listen to my gut instinct when it comes to how I feel about drinking. It sounds like you aren't comfortable with craving alcohol on the weekends, but as the good people of this board say, only you have the capacity to decide if it's a real problem or not. Keep reading these boards, you can tell a lot about your experiences by reading the other posts.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 45
I know for me I used to only drink on weekends. Now I am struggling to get 5 days under my belt. I know all about the wanting to get in fights when ya go out too! So I quit going out. But then I soon realized that doors and walls were a perfect punching bag. For me it has only gotten worse and harder to stop. This place is great tho.
Good luck!!!
Good luck!!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
sil, first off... welcome...
IMO, who better then a alcoholic, can say if another person reaching out is alcoholic?
sil if the first thoughts on the weekend are about booze..
there might be a serious alcohol problem...
good wishes sil
rz
IMO, who better then a alcoholic, can say if another person reaching out is alcoholic?
sil
I'm 31, engaged to my beautiful girlfriend, we have two children, (3 year old son, 1 year old daughter)
there might be a serious alcohol problem...
good wishes sil
rz
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