resentful wife

I posted that line in a reply to Tropper, hopefully he won't take offense. But I thought I would post a broader explaination.
In Dec my AH began having stomach problems, as he had had them before and he choose to ignore them. But when the pain and throwing up and not even being able to drink couldn't relieve him he went to the Doctor who told him he had Diverticulitis, which he had had the year before. He was sent for a CT, the results of that showed a mass in his colon that was abcessed and leaking into his abdomen, it also showed masses on his adrenal glands on both kidneys and attached to his blood vessels and lymph nodes. This of course required colostomy surgery. After a four hour surgery, the doctor came out to tell me that during surgery he lifted his stomach and found that his pancreas was completly cancer ridden and that every thing was inoperative. When I asked I was told that even with treatment he had maybe a year to live.
He now has a colostomy bag for at least the next six weeks and he has started chemo but thats only for hopefully control as there is no cure. He was put back in the hospital on valentine's day because of low sodium. Hoping to come home either today or tomorrow. Sadly about the time I joined SR was when he had civerticulitis the first time and that CT was clear. What a difference a year of drinking does to the body.
I guess there are two points to this post
1) Thanks to everyone here on SR each of you has helped me keep my sanity about me.
2)If your worried about your drinking this is only one of many things that can happen. Stop Get help your not just hurting yourself, your hurting those of us that love you.
By the way he hasn't had a drop to drink since 1/2/08 but this wasn't how I wanted him to quit.
(Disclaimer: This is in no way intended as medical advice, See a Doctor!)

parentrecovers

prayers and support to you and your husband. that's a real tough diagnosis. stay strong, k

melwilson

You and your family are in my prayers.

CAPTAINZING2000

I don't attend them but, every alcoholic should sit in an ala non meeting and listen to what we put our loved ones thru.

It's amazing people do love alcoholics for the chaos we heap on everyone around us

29a

My prayers are with you and your husband. God works in mysterious ways and his will is perfect.

Jomey

Prayers for you and your husband. Stay close, Jomey

MyGraySkies

My prayers are with you, your husband, and your family. I am so sorry.

1963comet

:praying

resentful wife

I haven't attended any al-non mettings yet. My daughter is a recovering A as of 9/19/06 so She's there to talk to and my close friend's husband is also going thru cancer, just not this extreme. Looks like he won't get out of hospital until Mon but I know that he's in a safe place so I can rest easier. I'm not ready for a pity party yet I'd rather keep hope alive and even though I don't post often I log on every day because ya"all are really helpful to me. Like Neil Diamond said" Except for the name and a few other changes the story's the same one"
Hopefully reading this will encourge the lurkers and those on the fence to take a closer look at things. Again Thank You All for your prayers.
Linda

Rowan

Thank you for sharing this with us, Linda.

Jules62

Linda-I am so sorry for all you are dealing with.I hope being here helps in some way.You're not alone,

Julesxox

CarolD

(+) (+) (+)
Hugs and Prayers

gravity

Hi Linda,

All my best to your family. Thank you for the courage to post this important message. I have a wife & two small children. While I know that the wisdom is that I have to stay sober for myself, reality is that my family is so precious - they deserve the best husband & dad that I can be. There is so much at stake. Take care.

bethgarcia

bless your family....anytime need a friend let me know.:ghug

resentful wife

And thank everyone for their prayers. Sadly my husband didn't have a year, he passed away on June 30th. During the hospital stay I posted about he had missed a chemo treatment, and after that the cancer became resistant to chemo and spread quickly.He went from a 182lb functional A to a 130lb sober A who couldn't support his own weight to stand. All in 6 months!

I come to SR daily, but hadn't wanted to post and sound preachy. But I do believe that if he had stopped drinking back when I first joined the cancer might not have happened. I learned long ago that the middle word in Life is IF, and I can't undo the past.

I do hope that the new posters, the lurkers and the old posters that are lurking will rethink their lifes, give quiting another try and see their doctors. Don't put your loved ones thru this, I had six months to prepare knowing that he was dying and I'm still numb. Imagine how much harder it woud be it it had been sudden.

He had 30 years of drinking under his belt, he was 55 years old. "IF" he had gotten sober he could have had another 30 years to live.

Thank You SR for being my life line!
Linda

fallingdown

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Linda. You are definitely in my thoughts today.
Love,
FD

FizzyWater

If any of us needed reminding why we are here.

Puts thought about relapsing into perspective.

Thank you for sharing

RK2007

A very grim lesson re. the realities of the harm alcohol will do to the human body if allowed. Very sad indeed.

Thanks for sharing this with us Linda, so sorry for your loss.

TTOSBT

Linda, I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing :ghug3

Astro

Linda, I'm sorry I didn't see this post back in Feb., and I'm so sorry for your loss. Some may die so that others live, but we never want it to be someone we know.

Thank you for posting this, hopefully the message will get through to those who are still suffering. There is a solution in recovery.